When Mr. Ji was very young, he was both clever and naughty, and often made his teacher laugh and cry (the teacher's surname was Shi); One day, Ji Xiaolan took a little yellow bird to the school to play. When he was having fun, Teacher Shi came in. Ji Xiaolan immediately hid the bird behind the loose brick on the wall. Teacher Shi also saw it. He pretended not to know and went to his class. However, when Mr. Shi came to the wall with a poem, he suddenly pushed the brick back with his hand, and the poor bird was crushed to death alive. The teacher also proudly sang:
"A fine feather is better than a bird brick"
Ji Xiaolan thought for a moment and said, "Teacher, can I give you a sentence? The teacher was still very proud and said, "Of course. Ji Xiaolan said, "You studied fine JIA Yu birds, and I gave you the coarse-haired beast, your brick, and I was right about the stone. Later, I was right about the first, and I was right about the death. It was:
The coarse-haired wild beast and stone came first.
After listening to the teacher, I knew that Ji Xiaolan was cursing him with a homonym, and his nose was crooked, but he was right or wrong!
Secondly, Su Dongpo and Fo Yin
Su Dongpo is in Hangzhou and likes to make friends with monks in West Lake Temple. He is best friends with monk Fo Yin of the Holy Mountain Temple, and they often joke while drinking and reciting poems.
Monk Fo Yin is delicious. Whenever Su Dongpo gives a banquet, he always comes uninvited. One night, Su Dongpo invited Huang Tingjian to visit the West Lake, and many dining tables were prepared on board. When the cruise ship went offshore, Su Dongpo smiled and said to Huang Tingjian, "Fo Yin will arrive at every party. Tonight, let's take a boat to the lake to drink and sing poems and have a good time. He can't come anyway." "Who knows Fo Yin monk long ago found out that Su Dongpo wanted to swim with Huang Tingjian, so he hid under the cabin board when they didn't get on the boat.
The bright moon is in the sky, the cool breeze is refreshing, and the lotus fragrance fills the lake. The cruise ship slowly arrives at the Three Pagodas of the West Lake. Su Dongpo holds his glass and flicks his beard, and happily says to Huang Tingjian, "Today, we are quiet without Fo Yin. Let's start with a wine order. The first two sentences should be immediate, and the last two sentences should end with the word" zai ". "Huang Tingjian said," All right! Su Dongpo said first:
When the clouds are parted and the bright moon comes out, what can the sky say? What does heaven say?
Huang Tingjian looked at the lotus flowers all over the lake, and then said,
Lianping brushed aside and swam out, which was a good thing! Get what you want!
At this time, Fo Yin couldn't resist being under the cabin board. As soon as Huang Tingjian said it, he pushed the cabin board away and climbed out, saying,
When the boat board was pushed aside, Fo Yin came out, which was really depressing! Suppress people!
Su Dongpo and Huang Tingjian were startled when they saw a man suddenly crawling out from under the planking. When they looked carefully, it turned out to be Fo Yin, and when they heard him say such four poems, they couldn't help laughing.
Su Dongpo took Fo Yin to sit down and said, "You hid it well, and you were right. You ate it again today! So, the three people enjoyed the moon and swam around the lake, talking and laughing.
One day, Su Dongpo instructed the chef to use a live grass carp from the West Lake, wash it, cut it open, cut it with five knives, and steam it with ham, onion and ginger. The cook cooked it and sent it to the study. When Su Dongpo saw it, it was hot and delicious, and the knife marks on the fish were like willows. He repeatedly shouted, "What a tail of mullet! "Just want to eat chopsticks, suddenly, I saw a flash of figure outside the window, and Fo Yin monk came. Su Dongpo thought, "Hey, what a monk! He didn't come early or late! I was about to eat fish when you came. I won't let you eat today. What do you do? "I reached out and put this plate of fish on the shelf.
Fo Yin had already seen the dish of fish outside the window, and thought, Good, how well you hide it! I want you to take it out, too! Su Dongpo smiled and greeted Fo Yin to sit down. He asked, "The big monk is not in the temple. What do you have to say here? "Fo Yin solemnly replied," I came here to inquire about a word with you today. ""What word! ""How do you spell the word "Su" with your surname Su? When Su Dongpo heard this, his brow wrinkled. Knowing that Fo Yin was so knowledgeable that he couldn't even write the word "Su", he pretended to be serious and replied, "Oh, the word" Su "has a grass prefix on it, a word" fish "on the left and a word" Wo "on the right. Fo Yin also pretended to be confused and asked, "Oh, what if there is" grain "on the left and" fish "on the right under the grass prefix? Su Dongpo said, "That's still saying" Su "."Fo Yin followed suit and said, "What about putting the" fish "on the grass head? Su Dongpo quickly said, "Oh, that won't do! "Fo Yin laughed and said," Good! You said it's no good to put the fish on it, so take it down! Su Dongpo suddenly woke up! Fo Yin said, is to eat his plate of mullet.
once, when Fo Yin was in the temple, he knew that Su Dongpo was coming, so he steamed a plate of mullet. Su Dongpo just came in. Fo Yin thought, the last time you played a joke on me, I will give you a hard time today. There happened to be a chime beside him, so he put the fish in the chime.
Su Dongpo had already seen it and pretended not to know it. As soon as I sat down, I sighed intentionally. Fo Yin knew Su Dongpo was optimistic, and asked doubtfully, "Why are you so sad today, Taishou? Su Dongpo replied, "Alas, monk, you don't know. In the morning, I wanted to write a pair of couplets. Who knows, just after I wrote the first couplet, the second couplet was difficult. I couldn't think of it all the time, so I was upset! "Fo Yin asked:" I don't know what is part one? Su Dongpo replied: "The first part of the couplet is" Spring always comes to the Xiangyang Gate ". Hearing this, Fo Yin was amused: This couplet was pasted on every household, but he used it to tease me. I don't know what medicine was sold in the gourd in Su Dong. So he said quietly, "I'll give it to you, right? The bottom line is" It's more than a celebration to accumulate good people. " Su Dongpo even shouted: "Oh, high talents are high talents! So you have fish (surplus) in your Qing (Qing)! Come on, take it out and eat it. "Fo Yin this just suddenly enlighted, obediently took out the fish from the Qing.
Third, when Yu Qian was a child, he wore his hair in two bun, and a monk laughed at him:
"Cow's head is fond of having dragon horns"
Yu Qian immediately replied:
"A dog's mouth never has ivory"
But after Yu Qian came home, he told his mother that she would comb it into a triangle for him immediately; When Yu Qian went out, he met the monk again. The monk laughed at him again:
"A triangle is like a drum rack"
Yu Qian replied:
"A bald head is like a hammer"
The monk was speechless.
Third, Chang 'e used to love the green dress lang
Once upon a time, there was a staff member who had a beautiful daughter, and Shangfeng motioned to her many times to marry her. The aide dared not disobey him, but was afraid of wronged his daughter. He was hesitating with his wife. When he was sad, his daughter came to greet him. When he saw it, he asked the parents what was on their minds. Parents have to tell the truth.
My daughter is brilliant and filial to her parents, so she said to her parents with a brainwave, "I have three conditions. First, I have not only the orders of my parents, but also the words of a matchmaker, so I should ask the princes to act as matchmakers; Second, the bride price should have treasures such as rose gems and yellow pearls; Third, before entering the bridal chamber, a pair must be made. I will never marry him if one of the three is missing. "
father nodded and said yes. The next day, I reported to the high official, and he answered them one by one. On the wedding day, the luxurious style was self-evident. When the guests were finished, the official stepped into the bridal chamber, but was stopped by the maid-in-waiting, so that they could be paired. I saw on the red note that: Bamboo reflects peach blossoms, and gentlemen are also greedy for red and pink. The big officer looked at the font of Juanxiu, but he couldn't match it at the moment, so he moved to the courtyard. Just as I was looking up at the bright moon in the sky and chanting, a subordinate came over and asked, "If adults don't enter the bridal chamber, what's wrong with singing poetry in good mood?" The official told him about the claim. After listening to it, the subordinates praised it again and again, and the couplet was ingenious. Bamboo was called a gentleman and pink peach blossom was a pun. Inevitably also silently conceived.
At this moment, the stars and the moon are shining, and the trees are swaying, which suddenly touched the inspiration of the subordinate, only to see him wagging his head and chanting: The moon wears willows, and Chang 'e used to love the green clothes lang.
The senior official said, "Wonderful! Wonderful! There will be many rewards tomorrow. " Then go straight to the bridal chamber to hand in the papers.
The maid-in-waiting presented a pair of pictures, and the girl pondered it. She put pen to paper and criticized, "I'm afraid I didn't come from my heart because I came from the second place in the public department." The official was ashamed when he saw the comment on writing. He thought for a moment, then resolutely left the bridal chamber, went to find the subordinate, told him to go into the bridal chamber, and gave him all the dowry as a gift.
Fourth, Mr. Li Songer, with wooden feet
It is said that during the Qianlong period of the Qing Dynasty, there were two scholars in Guangdong who thought they were very talented, one was Li Yisong, and they traveled together, enjoying the scenery all the way, and they were very uncomfortable. After swimming for a long time, I was tired and thirsty. I saw a monk over the age of 7 enjoying the cool in the shade in front of me, with a gourd beside him, and went forward to beg for water to drink.
The old monk looked at them and said, What are your names? There is water, but you have to pair it up, so you can drink it. The two scholars readily agreed and introduced themselves as Li and Song. After listening to this, the old monk embedded their surnames in the couplet and said, Mr. Li Songer is a wooden foot. After listening, the two scholars laughed at themselves when they saw the couplet, but they didn't get it right for a long time. Not only did they get no water to drink, but they also got bored and left.
This story has been circulated among the people for hundreds of years. In the 198s, a reader of Guangdong Farmers' Daily compiled this story and submitted it to the newspaper. There were 36 lovers of couplets who were enthusiastic about the next couplet, of which only Huang Wenchang, a reader from Yangchun County, was right.
His bottom line is: Miss Gong Pang, the dragon head and the dragon body.