In reality, individual children fall in love, which really brings a shadow to the school and family, which may affect their studies, or even lead to children falling into a misunderstanding. Parents must understand the characteristics of adolescence, strengthen education, give priority to prevention and plan ahead. When boys and girls enter adolescence, they have many physiological changes and have an affection for the opposite sex. This is an instinct of human development, and it is also a specific period for children to bid farewell to their boyhood.
For adolescent children, we should guide them to transfer their vigorous energy to study and normal entertainment activities. Puppy love is a green apple. It can be imagined that it is sour, and the prevention work should start before the bud of puppy love appears. Puppy love is not terrible, the key is transformation. If your child is puppy love, I suggest-
First, be a good teacher and friend of children, and don't intensify contradictions. Boys and girls in psychological closure period can expose their privacy, which just provides us with educational opportunities. Parents should be children's mentors and friends to win their trust. Don't treat puppy love as a scourge, it is a natural expression of human emotions. By talking about life, building ideals, discussing morality and comparing learning, we can guide children well and answer questions for them.
When communicating, analyze the reasons of puppy love among junior and senior high school students. First, look for spiritual support. The fierce competition makes everyone nervous, and the opposite sex may get a little comfort, talk to each other and escape from reality. Secondly, influenced by some love novels and movies, even love stories in textbooks ... these are undoubtedly very attractive to boys and girls in Seeds of Love. When encountering puppy love children, parents and teachers should extend warm hands, give warmth to their loved ones, and do a good job in patient, meticulous and arduous influence and ideological work. You might as well consult educational experts and psychologists to teach lost children. I believe that children will change.
Second, face up to puppy love and never give up hope. We know that puppy love is difficult to solve. Adolescent children have serious rebellious psychology. Schools don't like puppy love, so it is difficult to talk about puppy love, so it is easy to hide, hide, let go, and even give up hope, which will eventually lead to adverse consequences.
If the child is really puppy love, then parents must treat it well and must not treat it lightly. The following points are very important:
1, strive to build the family into a warm and harmonious paradise and make children feel safe. If you find your child puppy love, you should analyze the reasons and solve the problem. Is the so-called "fact" caused by student input? Or an emotional impulse? Is it the confusion of adolescence or the pressure of study? In short, careful investigation and patient ideological reform are needed.
2. Actively communicate with children. Don't ask how to learn at first. How's the grade? What's the ranking? You can start with other aspects of life and topics that children are interested in. Communication should pay attention to art, calm down and think hard, find a solution and get the ideal educational effect.
It is inevitable that children will be confused when they grow up. For example, parents expect their children to get excellent grades, but the children are not ideal; The school opposes puppy love and children fall in love; Children who violate discipline are severely criticized ... these contradictions and conflicts will make children feel depressed, so it is necessary to help children raise their awareness ideologically in time.
4, keep the closest contact with the school, children fall in love early, parents don't relax, don't make a fuss, don't be embarrassed. Keep close cooperation with the school in time, put down face, communicate actively and cooperate with teachers, and the problem will be solved.
If parents can communicate with their children, I don't think it is necessary to sign an agreement. Agreement is just a form, which can't replace the emotion between parents and children at all. Of course, if some families have achieved good results in this way, I also support it with both hands. Different people adopt different methods according to family characteristics, and everything is for children. As long as families, schools and society care for the next generation and cultivate their strong physique, healthy psychology and perfect personality, children will certainly be able to get through the confusion of youth and move towards a bright future.
Middle school students' puppy love should be prevented and guided
The phenomenon of puppy love among students in a middle school in Qitai County should be highly valued. To solve this problem, we must first understand the reasons and characteristics of puppy love. Teenagers' puppy love behavior has the following characteristics: first, their will is vague: they are not clear about the development outcome of puppy love relationship, and only desire to contact the opposite sex alone. Second, inner contradiction: I want to contact but I am afraid of being discovered. Pleasure and fear coexist in the process of puppy love. Third, impermanence: one-on-one puppy love relationship lacks persistence and generally does not last long. Fourth, the difference in choice: in behavior, some teenagers' puppy love behavior is very hidden, and they convey their feelings through letters and telephone calls. But some teenagers are very open, and many occasions are like lovers. In the aspect of relationship, the main activity of most teenagers in puppy love relationship is to chat together and exchange unrequited love. Other people talk about feelings and even have sex. In terms of age preference, girls like more mature men. Boys like girls younger than themselves and show their masculinity in communication. The types of puppy love can be summarized into eight types: adoration, curiosity, imitation, conformity, pleasure, compensation, anti-transformation and morbid.
Physically, the primitive reproductive instinct of human beings is hidden behind the puppy love of teenagers. At present, there is an obvious time gap between human sexual maturity and the actual possibility of giving birth to offspring. It is characterized by early sexual maturity and late reproductive activities. We must face up to the influence of sexual maturity and sexual instinct impulse on teenagers' psychology and behavior and clearly understand the essence of puppy love.
From the psychological point of view, after teenagers enter adolescence, with the changes of sexual physiology, complex changes will inevitably occur in sexual psychology. In middle school, from 13 and 14 to 17 and 18, they experienced the "second birth" in life and psychologically accepted the second "weaning". The germination and gradual maturity of middle school students' sexual physiology have caused changes in their sexual psychology. I feel mysterious, sensitive and wonderful about the relationship between men and women. Emotion has become warm and fragile, coupled with the lack of analysis, judgment and self-discipline, so some young students are easily tempted by some bad influences and bad consciousness in society. Some students read books and periodicals about the physiology of the opposite sex, from which you can imagine; Some boys are keen to play the role of "protector" and show their "heroism" in order to win the favor of girls; Some girls have an embarrassing initial impulse, and after a psychological process of surprise, shyness and hesitation, they have a vague desire to make friends From these phenomena, we can see that students are not only fresh in adolescence, but also begin to pay attention to the opposite sex and get close to the opposite sex, which is easy to generate goodwill and pursuit, thus producing a series of ideological problems. If there is no guidance from parents and teachers during this period, it is not surprising that puppy love occurs.
The author believes that puppy love will do some harm to the healthy growth of students if it cannot be guided correctly. The main manifestations are: 1, distracting energy and affecting learning; 2, emotional impulse, planting bitter fruit; 3. Dissipate the will and influence the atmosphere. Someone has done a follow-up survey and found that the success rate of puppy love marriage is extremely low. In middle school, few people who love each other can finally form a family. It's a pity to spend the best time in life on this kind of love with more bitter fruit than sweet fruit.
The phenomenon of puppy love is inseparable from social and family factors, as well as psychological and ideological factors. Therefore, to solve the problem of students' puppy love, we should start with psychology and thought, and do a good job of prevention and guidance first. Prevention should start from the following aspects: do a good job in adolescent education for middle school students.
Strengthen youth, ideals, future education and legal education. Guide students to cultivate healthy and noble sentiments. Cultivate and establish a serious, lively and positive school spirit and class collective. Establish a good relationship between teachers and students. Make proper use of the opposite sex effect. Guidance is to guide and adjust students' thoughts and emotions. In the guidance, we should grasp the following three principles: 1, and we should find out the details and know fairly well. 2 we should distinguish between situations and treat them differently. Pay attention to methods, guide them correctly, and avoid rough suppression to force them to submit. In the specific operation process, the following methods can be adopted: 1 "jump out" to guide students to overcome their emotions with reason. 2 "Freezing" allows students to freeze their emotions and bury them, so that they can "hibernate" and concentrate on their studies. 3 "separation", create a good environment for them and try to avoid being alone together. As long as we treat students sincerely, put ourselves in their shoes, influence them with love and give full play to the strength of the group, the problem of puppy love among middle school students can be properly handled.