Many times, children seem to adapt well, but this idea of children makes parents ignore one thing, that is, the social interruption of children.
Xiaomei has lived this life since she was a child. When I was a child, because my parents were busy with work, Xiaomei was sent to her grandparents' home in the country by her parents, where she went to primary school and made many friends.
But just in the third grade of primary school, mom and dad took Xiaomei back to their side considering the problem of learning atmosphere. Separated from her familiar classmates, Xiaomei had to start making friends again.
Just getting familiar with my deskmate, my parents took Xiaomei to other cities for work reasons and transferred to other schools, which made Xiaomei feel at a loss.
What is even more frightening is that in primary and secondary schools, Xiaomei can be said to be living in constant transfer because of her parents' work.
As soon as I make good friends, I will transfer to another school. Gradually, Xiaomei doesn't want to make friends. She didn't have a real old friend until she graduated from college, but Xiaomei was used to such a life.
Xiaomei's experience is actually the social interruption mentioned above. The child was interrupted as soon as he made new friends. After transferring to another school, he had to make new friends, but for family reasons, social interaction was constantly interrupted.
In fact, each of us has been interrupted to some extent, but many parents have not correctly realized the possible impact of social interruption on their children.
First, there will be no long-term relationship.
Because of the constant social interruption, if all feelings are divided into short-term feelings, it is a great obstacle for children to make friends if they are unwilling to maintain or don't believe in long-term relationships.
Second, the social concept is weak.
Because of the continuous interruption of social interaction, children will think that social interaction is not important. Because no matter how much affection you give, you will eventually be interrupted.
Gradually, children are unwilling to actively communicate with others, preferring to be alone, and even show extreme indifference when others actively want to establish good relations. Seriously speaking, children don't want to trust anyone and think that all feelings are not long-lasting.
Third, the sense of loss in the new collective may lead to campus violence.
Even adults are at a loss in the face of the new environment, so that they constantly recall their old friends, especially children.
It is inevitable that children will feel lost when they integrate into the new environment, but this sense of loss can easily make friends of new groups feel unhappy.
Many of the objects of school violence are such children who suddenly turn, are introverted and are not good at talking.
Fourth, the older you get, the harder it is to have friends and the more lonely you feel.
Social interruption will lead to children's gradual refusal to socialize, and this refusal will become more and more serious with the growth of children's age, so that children have no friends to talk to and always stay alone.
Social interruption has a great influence on children's future, not only affecting their future communication skills, but also affecting their own personality development to some extent.
Since kindergarten, children's social interaction should not be interrupted, but many parents don't realize this.
1, now that the school is divided, social interaction is constant.
At present, most schools are sub-regional. In most cases, kindergarten students become primary school students and then middle school students. This is social continuity.
Therefore, interrupting children's socialization in kindergarten can easily lead to children not making heart-to-heart friends in future schools. Because all students are friends from kindergarten, except children, this will make him feel rejected, which will not only make him resistant to making friends, but may even cause resistance to the school.
2. Kindergarten is the first time for children to socialize.
The first experience will be memorable, no matter what kind of first time. Therefore, children's first social interaction is also very important for children and will leave a deep impression on their hearts.
If this kind of socialization is interrupted, it is likely to cause children to be timid in the subsequent socialization. The socialization in kindergarten can be said to be the first time that children take the initiative to socialize. If they encounter waterloo in this period, their understanding of socialization will be biased in the future.
3, related to the future of children.
From kindergarten to primary school, it is a period of sound personality of children, and this period is also the best time to educate children. The social knowledge that children learn at this stage is of great basic significance for parents to cultivate their children's social consciousness in the future. Interrupting social interaction during this period will make it difficult for parents to continue their education.
Children's social interaction should not be interrupted, but it does not mean that parents do not interfere with their children's social interaction at all. It's just that this kind of intervention can only be fine-tuned and can't control the socialization of children.
First, avoid useless socializing.
The first thing parents should do is to guide their children to avoid useless socializing. Some socializing that has a bad influence on their children should not be forced to socialize because they want to get by on the face.
Second, there is a bottom line of social interaction.
Socialization is to become friends, help each other and understand each other, rather than blindly tolerate each other. Therefore, socialization needs its own bottom line, and no matter how you communicate, you must keep your bottom line. Don't bring bad friends to children because of face problems.
Third, give children social freedom.
Parents hope that their children will not go astray in invisible places, but at the same time, they should give their children enough trust and put them under their own protection, which is not conducive to their growth.
Therefore, parents should give their children social freedom, let them learn to make friends and know others, let them correctly understand the meaning of social interaction, choose suitable friends, and let them learn how to distinguish good people from bad people and how to communicate with others in advance.
Fourth, gender education.
There are many things that need to be included in correct social communication, and gender education is also very important for children. Correct gender education can help children avoid making mistakes in social interaction.
Some parents either think that gender education is not important or that it is difficult to talk about. But this is the knowledge that children must know and learn in interpersonal communication, not only to prevent children from making mistakes in social communication, but also to protect themselves in normal social communication.
Good social communication has a great influence on children's future. Just as adults need friends, humans are social animals. Everyone needs the company of friends except those who love loneliness.
Parents can't always be with their children. Even if parents can stay with their children all the time, the feelings brought by friends are completely different.
Everyone's life will have close friends more or less, but if children's social interruption is not taken seriously by parents, it is likely to affect their friends.
Sometimes, parents always think that their children are still young, and even if they are separated, they will not remember their former friends, but this is not the case.
Maybe children will really forget their former friends after separation, but the feeling of making friends will not be forgotten. Constantly interrupting children's feelings of making friends will make children unwilling to pay their feelings and sincerity in the process of communication.
What is even more frightening is that constantly interrupting children's socialization, for whatever reason, is likely to lead to social phobia in children.
Unwilling to make friends is a slightly more serious situation. Children refuse to communicate with everyone and close their hearts. Obviously, my heart is lonely, but I have to choose loneliness. Growing up in this loneliness, children may also have emotional obstacles and become the wounds of life.