(1) Explain behavioral norms to children

Sometimes the child is disobedient and does not cooperate with adults because he does not understand or forgets the rules of behavior. Remind the child again , can let children experience and understand, but it should be noted that when reminding children. Pay attention to your expression and tone of voice. Don't shout. Use a firm and gentle tone to explain or make requests to your children: "Remember? You have to speak softly in crowded places so as not to disturb others." "Remember, we went out today to buy a gift for grandma. Others Don’t buy anything!”

When adults explain the rules to their children. You should avoid assuming in advance that your child will be disobedient, for example: "You have to tell me hundreds of times before you become obedient!" This will make your child more willful and stubborn.

(2) Set an example by the children or adults around you

Although younger children know the instructions and rules of adults, it is difficult for them to decide what to do. When he does not act or When we do not accept instructions, we think that the child is disobedient. Therefore, while letting the child understand the rules of action, we also need to teach him what to do, for example, how to place books, how to put away toys, how to sit, how to speak, etc. wait.

In addition to language, adults can demonstrate to the child so that the child understands the specific practices, use the child's imitation to correct him or guide him, or they can suggest the child: "Look! You can do like that uncle. Do" "You have to be as quiet as that child", tell the child the specific goal, and guide him to replace the original bad behavior.

(3) Reward and praise good behavior

When children are disobedient, it is often to attract adult attention (needs are not met). Therefore, children often use resistance ( Deliberately disobedient) or other disobedient ways (yelling) to make adults fulfill his wishes. When parents deal with this kind of bad behavior in their children, they should first be calm and not panic. The best way is to leave the child alone temporarily until the behavior stops or the attitude improves.

This is a way to weaken bad behavior and let children understand their parents' attitude by not responding to bad behavior. But what adults should actively do is to praise and reward good behavior so that children can distinguish between good and bad, allowed and forbidden.

So when a child is disobedient, you can use words of approval to divert his behavior: "I remember you were an enthusiastic child. Remember, you helped me do it last time... "When rewarding and praising children, it is best to let them understand their behavior in detail. Don't just praise them: "You are great!" "You are so good!" Instead, use some virtuous sentences, such as: " "You are generous", "You are polite", "You are enthusiastic"... to make the child's behavior more specific.

(4) Have serious conversations about bad behavior

When children are disobedient, adults use "scold" or "punishment" to deal with it, which often easily ignores subjective factors. (Emotions such as anger, excitement, fatigue, and boredom) seep into the handling of behaviors, causing children to feel physical pain and discomfort (corporal punishment), create fear in their hearts, and suppress their will. Therefore, it is difficult for them to accept lengthy sermons from adults and reflect on their own bad deeds. It is even more difficult to correct his behavior.

Using "serious talk" at this time will make the child understand. For example, temporarily stopping his work, asking him to go to a corner, and having a good talk with him may be better than scolding and punishing loudly. It can enlighten his conscience and think about his own inappropriate behavior.

A little boy in middle school once told me that he and his father went to the bookstore to drink tea and do "Man'stalk" the night before. I asked him what they talked about, and he told me intermittently, "Dad. Talk to him about how he and his sister often fight and quarrel." His father said to him: "Sister loves you very much and often takes care of you and gives you things, but she also has a lot of troubles. For example, she has a lot of homework in the first grade. Artwork needs to be done. If my sister bothers her or touches her things when she is doing her homework, she may be scolded by the teacher for not completing her homework. Do you want this?" He also said that his father gave him a lot of advice, such as , "While your sister is doing her homework, you can play on the computer or play with the puppy. When you borrow something from your sister, you must be polite and return it as soon as you use it. Don't occupy it."

Very interesting. In a man's talk, the father uses a good place to seriously point out the child's bad behavior and provide suggestions on what he can do and how to do it to correct the child's behavior.

(5) Careful and patient correction and education

We often find that the reason why children are disobedient is mostly due to adults committing different types of mistakes in the process of educating children. Mistakes, in the long run, lead to bad behavior in children. For example, some parents believe that it is a natural phenomenon for children to be willful, mischievous, and disobeying instructions when they are young, and that they will become better or more obedient when they grow up, without correcting them carefully. In fact, children's behavior is cumulative, and in the long run they will become more disobedient and even rebellious.

Children’s behavior is accumulated. Good behavior accumulates and becomes good habits and good morals, and vice versa. Behavioral development and education are long-term. Therefore, disobedient behavior also requires long-term correction and education. Parents cannot "turn a deaf ear" to children who are rude to others or have other disobedient behaviors. They must take the responsibility to correct them at any time. If we lack this patience, we are actually appeasing our children to become more rude and disobedient.

(6) Cooperation at home, education at the same time

Children have a strong social awareness, sense of honor and self-esteem, and are very concerned about the opinions of others, especially in group life. Kindergarten students and primary school students are very concerned about what their school teachers think of them, so you can use your child's concern about others' opinions to correct his bad behavior. For example, if a child refuses to go to bed on time every day and makes a lot of mischief, sometimes through the teacher's guidance and requirements, we use the speaking class to talk about the child's situation at home last night, and praise the child who goes to bed on time. This is better than parents. The advice is still effective.

In kindergarten, if a child has good behavior or has corrected behavior, the teacher may wish to write the words of praise in the contact book, and let the parents praise him and affirm him again when he goes home. For disobedient children, parents can actively use this method. For example, if some children refuse to eat vegetables, they can ask the kindergarten teacher to pay attention to this matter, and use the method to ask the children to implement the same rules at home. Both sides implement it until he gets used to it and corrects it. Of course, the home and garden must communicate well in advance and the rules must be the same.

(7) Use different methods for different ages and personalities

Every child has psychological characteristics of different ages, as well as the child’s own temperament, for example: for For children with slow movements, we must take advantage of opportunities to give them easy-to-achieve achievements. Younger children need demonstration and guidance, and older children need encouragement.

Guiding disobedient children to be obedient is not to impose a fixed formula on children, but to find strength in them according to the needs of different ages and different personalities, so as to create children who can Prerequisites for conscious obedience