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Two jokes in 40 words
I don't doubt success, my passion is always surging! Go to a foreign company for an interview in the morning and take the elevator downstairs. At a certain floor, the elevator stopped and the door opened. I saw a girl in sexy clothes, holding a brand-name handbag in one hand and holding the elevator door in the other. She leaned back and asked me in a provocative tone: Is it slutty enough? I controlled the surging ideological trend and calmly analyzed that foreign companies are different and female employees are open. No wonder some people say that we are at least 30 years behind them. This sentence makes sense. I said calmly: debauchery is a bit debauchery, but I like it. I know the way I say this sentence must be cool! As a Chinese son and daughter with backbone and influenced by traditional culture, facing the trend of the new era, we should try our best to change our thinking and not be content to fall behind. Suddenly, the girl threw her handbag at me and said, you rascal! ................ didn't wake up until the evening, so what she said was: Go down? This little incident prompted me to make up my mind to overcome all difficulties and try to adapt to the new trend of Chinese and English mixing in the first 20 years of this century.

Buyers and sellers on Taobao:

1. Buyer: Boss, may I ask you a question? Mainland banks, Hong Kong banks, Asia-Pacific banks and European banks have better quality?

Seller: They are all the same, and they are the best in all walks of life!

Buyer: pour!

2. Buyer: Can the boss meet and trade?

Seller: Where are you?

Buyer: Wuhan

Seller: I am in Shenzhen. Would you like to come over?

Buyer: How to get there?

Seller: You can't live without that hot land?

Buyer:?

Seller: There is a place to eat in Regan Noodles.

Buyer:. . . . . . . . . . .

3. Buyer: Boss, what mobile phone is the most durable?

Seller: Only relatively durable, not absolutely durable.

Buyer: Why?

Seller: Have you ever seen anyone with an ancestral mobile phone?

Buyer: Dizzy. . . . . . .

4. Buyer: Brother, tell me the difference between smart phones and non-smart phones! ?

Seller: Take the alarm clock as an example. Generally, mobile phones will make trouble when they arrive, whether they wake up or not. If the smartphone doesn't wake you up, it will call your unit leader for leave.

Buyer: Oh. . . . . . . . . .

5. Buyer: How much is it?

Seller: 2560

Buyer: Do you want to sell it in 2000?

Seller: OK, do you support Alipay? Give me a dozen.

Buyer: What?

Seller: I think your price is more affordable.

6. Buyer: Big Brother, I find you so cool.

Seller: Sure, go to the community. I am one of the top ten coolest sellers this year.

Buyer: Oh, this is also a comment!

Seller: Of course, which industry doesn't comment on advanced ones?

Buyer: .........

7. Buyer: Boss, do you make money by selling mobile phones?

Seller: The profit is considerable.

Buyer: How much can you earn in that month?

Seller: You buy a mobile phone first, let me make some money first, and I'll tell you after I finish yesterday's meal.

8. Buyer: Boss, we can't receive express delivery here. Is there any way to deliver it faster?

Seller: You rented a plane and put it down.

9. Buyer: Boss, is this mobile phone red?

Seller: No, the manufacturer didn't do it.

Buyer: Hey, I'm a girl. I want the red one. What should I do?

Seller: It can be customized.

Buyer: Really? how much is it?

Seller: It won't cost much to buy one, just 5,000 sets.

Buyer: Oh, thank you. I will think about it.

Seller: OK, I think about it. I have enough money.

10, buyer: Do you have MOTO's 998?

Seller: Sorry, I'm not a collector.

1 1. Buyer: Can you deliver the goods today?

Seller: No problem.

Buyer: I heard there was a typhoon there.

Seller: Yes, it was very powerful the other day.

Buyer: How awesome?

Seller: Farmers in our suburbs always take ladders to fetch water from the roof after a typhoon.

Buyer: Why?

Seller: His well scraped the roof!

Buyer: Ah! ?

12, Buyer: Boss, your N73 is only in 500 yuan? I will buy one.

Seller: OK.

Buyer: I recently heard that there are scammers on the Internet, right?

Seller: That's for sure.

Buyer: Oh, what are the characteristics?

Seller: I don't have time to summarize any characteristics, but the deceived person must have one characteristic.

Buyer: What?

Seller: I believe there will be pies in the sky.

13, Buyer: How do you guarantee the quality after you sell your mobile phone?

Seller: pray

14, Buyer: How much does it cost to use EMS?

Seller: 20

Buyer: Is the post office by weight? Only one card reader and that many?

Seller: Because the journey is short, the taxi won't charge you the starting price.

15, buyer: how much is it?

Seller: 1780

Buyer: Why is it so cheap? I'm a little worried.

Seller: Well, in order to avoid your unnecessary worry, I'll change it to 1980.

Buyer: ..........................

16 buyer: boss, I want to buy a mobile phone for my girlfriend. Please recommend it.

Seller: You just need to find a suitable one.

Buyer: But her requirements are quite high.

Seller: Then listen to her. Men should be cruel to women.

Buyer: Hehe ...........

17 buyer: boss, how much does this mobile phone weigh?

Seller: more than 60 grams

Buyer: Well, everything else is fine, but it's too light.

Seller: You can use it tied to a dumbbell.

Buyer: ..........

Funny evaluation:

Qingzhi slimming capsule 400mg*60 capsules.

Bad review [details] liar, I took a bottle. He sent one, ate 1 to lose weight, and cheated at +09: 50 on April 3, 2007.

Explanation:

Oh, sorry, I just learned yesterday that the courier I used was a mouse's!

Fashion bag in summer

Bad review [details] The seller's service is not good. Although I know you are busy, there is no need to talk to me so easily every time. It's either grace or good. It's disrespectful to say it word for word. Give a bad review. 2007.0 1. 10 18:22

Explanation:

pah

Delicate chocolate imported from Europe

Bad review [details] The chocolate arrived three days late, and it was all broken when it arrived, which led to a quarrel between my boyfriend and me in February 2007 12 15: 32.

Explanation:

Playing is kissing, scolding is love, and kicking is really not good.

Chinese medicine beauty slimming porridge

Bad review [details] is completely invalid! ! ! ! ! 2006.09. 14 08:48

Explanation:

Not telling the truth at all!

Koala toy tree bag hug bear

Bad Review [Details] The name on the mailing list is wrong 2006.11.05438+0 02: 42.

Explanation:

God, it's a bad review, too. I'll just write it a few times. . Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua, Li Jinhua.

Verbena-lose weight and treat headache

Bad review [details] Why is your vervain different from others'? 2007.02.02 14:2 1

Explanation:

Why does it look different from others?

Alarm clock/bedside clock/round biscuit clock

Bad review [details] Because I am often cheated, I haven't bought online for a long time. I couldn't help buying this watch this time and was cheated again. What the hell are you doing February 2005.1314: 29

Explanation:

Ma Lisan said, "Just kidding!"

China lady Tang suit discount special price

Bad review [details] After so long, you still ignore me and have to give you a bad review! ! ! 2007.0 1.23 19:44

Explanation:

Well, I'm sick in the hospital. I just got back from the hospital. Looks like I'm going to be hospitalized again.

Wild hazelnut

Bad review [details] hazelnut shells are very hard. After eating this catty, my teeth are almost falling out. In order to increase the weight and charge more postage, I also stuffed a piece of broken iron into the box. 2006. 12.03 0 1:5 1

Explanation:

If you look at that iron carefully, will you find a screw in the middle? If you look down, there is a crack in the middle, you have to separate it along this crack-this broken iron is a pliers for clamping hazelnut shells for you!

Laitingbao natural breast enhancement and beauty

Bad review [details] This advertisement is inconsistent with the actual effect. Please keep your eyes open. 2006.09. 13 00:02

Explanation:

This evaluation is inconsistent with the actual situation, please keep your eyes open.

Herbal formula-safe weight loss

Bad review [details] The actual situation of taking it is completely different from that described on the Internet, which has no influence on the instructions. After eating, I feel flustered, anorexia and can't sleep. It has no effect at all.

14:205

Explanation:

The side effects of lying are exactly as described!

Product name: Korean fashion latest sexy MM shirt

Bad Review: Yes, I like it!

Explanation: doesn't your husband like it?

Product name: Inner Mongolia specialty Inner Mongolia air-dried beef jerky Jin /35 yuan

Comments [Details] Description is far from the commodity 2006.05.30 09:4 1

Explanation: Don't be kind!

Product name: abundant fruit basket-12 kinds of fruits

Comment [Details] Some fruits are still too ripe 2006.05. 10 14:49

Description: The ripe fruit was delivered according to your mother's request. It can only be kept for 3 or 5 days after receipt, and it can be kept in the refrigerator for a longer time. Remember to ask your mother for an evaluation next time. )

Product name: Yida chewing gum

Bad review [details] I asked for chewing gum, and I got a piece of white stuff, which was too sweet to eat 2006.04.04 16: 56.

Commentary: Oh, my God, that's the white chocolate I gave you. Chewing gum is wrapped in the newspaper below. You're not going to throw it in the trash, are you? Go find it.

Product name: Maggie cotton compressed paper film

Mediocre comments

* No Alipay transaction was successful.

[Details] Nothing.

Explanation: Nothing is nothing! ! Nothing! ! There is no way to evaluate! ! What what person! ! Dizzy! ! !

Product name: Osman-—30g pearl moisturizing eye cream

Bad review [details] How to return the goods?

Explanation: Wrong. After the photo was taken, I didn't pay or deliver the goods. What about returning the goods?

Product name: Tesco kitchen knife set of 5 pieces

What is the bad review [details]? It's a little uncomfortable to use. Bad review # #

Explanation: You are a nymphomaniac. You should pull a man in the street to despise you! !

Product name: 500g plums with kernels

Comment [Details] Why can't a plum become a plum? Not at all what I want. 2006.03. 19 20: 19

Description: It's probably been done for a long time. Just as delicious.

Product name: * Earrings * Bird Earrings

Why don't you respond to the comments? Try to comment.

Commentary: How did this happen? Hey, your computer can be upgraded: (very, very depressed.

Product name: crystal ball

Poor: the ball is good. Why don't you give me the bottom seat in the photo?

Explanation: Wrong! That's my LG ashtray.

Mediocre comments

Mr XX has a good service attitude. But the quality of the goods is too poor. Obviously it's fake, and I don't know what material it is, so I dare not use it.

Explanation:

It doesn't matter, you can use it. Others enter our retail and still sell well.

Although the evaluation still failed ~ ~ but' thank you anyway ~ ~ [details]-August 29, 2004 at 20: 45

Explanation:

Failure. What? I can't stand it if you shoot and don't buy it.

Bad review: Sorry, I won't change it to good review. [Details]-29 April 2004 15: 22

Explanation: When did I exchange favorable comments with you? Really! Wicked! !

Bad review: before remittance: enthusiasm+patience+sincerity, which makes me very happy; After remittance: cold heart+cruel heart+desperate heart, which makes me so sad. The YY purchased is completely different from the YY received (style and color). No exchange, no return, no refund. Without tens of dollars of credit, it is enough for such a seller to meet one. You have to be careful when shopping online. I don't know what reason the seller will make up to defend himself. [Details]-September 2004 10 at 22: 04

Explanation:

Miss, did you send it wrong? !

Zhong Ping: The pearl necklace is good, the ring is good, the pillow feels good, and the mobile phone pendant is also good. I like them all, but the seller has a better attitude.

Description: I don't have what you bought in my shop. I guess you must be a very rich man. You bought so many things at once. ...

Platinum-plated necklace *9 yuan ~

The girlfriend's evaluation is "average"

Explanation:

You bought her a diamond ring!

Bad attitude, things are ok, [details]-2004.12.0313: 31

Explanation:

When did I treat you badly? I wonder if I should say I love you and feel that I have a good attitude! ?

Comment: I didn't buy it.

Explanation: alas!