In life, I often meet such people. They strive to be excellent, behave cautiously and try to win others' smiles, but often lead a miserable life. If I can sum up my statement and say, "such people will not live a good life after all."
0 1 ? I am a "freak" in the eyes of others.
When I was in Japan, I knew a thrifty company employee. He often comes to work in the company first every day, doing dirty work that others don't want to do. In the eyes of others, his character has two sides. On the other hand, the deep inferiority complex is out of place. I often watch him creep into the workplace, greet everyone humbly, and even report to our foreign students who are listed as foreigners in Japan when they go to the bathroom.
That kind of behavior itself is "different" if it is carefully reflected in the group. Once I chatted with him, I said to him, "Mr. Dan Yu, you are really working hard." He shook his head painfully and said, "No, no, no, I make a living there, too." My family supports my family alone. I still have a high school education, and all the other staff are universities. "At that moment, I understood the root of his humility. This is a typical example of trying to make yourself live well, but still losing yourself in people's eyes. I don't even know what he thinks. In order to show his dedication and sincerity, he often endures.
Looking at many of our introverted groups, there are actually such self-abased introverted people. They are always afraid of being defined as a freak by the group, so they begin to demand themselves with the basic rules of the group. "I want to fit in, I want to make others happy, and I want to follow the crowd." Under this psychological hint, their behavior is actually against their will. They live a depressed life and even lose their true self.
02? Bind "other people's theory"
I often hear the remarks of some young people. My mother urged me to get married. My mother asked me if I had a boyfriend. This so-called "others say" anxiety is that I want to get rid of being single as soon as possible, but are you really happy?
I have a younger brother who came to my office one day and said, "My mother urged me to get married, and I was really at a loss. I must finish this work this year. " When I heard this sentence, I didn't know whether to cry or laugh for his girlfriend, because I knew he had just talked about his girlfriend for three months. When I asked him, "What year are you from?" He was embarrassed. "86 years." I looked at his face as if to tell me that he was 32 years old and not married, as if he had committed a heinous crime.
I was just thinking about a question, is it really happy to get rid of "what others say"? Is it responsible for yourself and others to find a girlfriend hastily by everyone's standards? Will you be happy all your life? If you find the wrong person, life will be a chicken flying a dog. How can you live so long?
When we live in other people's words, the behavior itself has lost its meaning.
03? A humble heart sensitive to self-esteem
In fact, most people who like to live in other people's world have a sensitive and self-respecting heart.
"She must be talking about me." "She must think I'm stupid." In fact, maybe others really don't say so, but we always like what I think. Actually, what you think, what you think is never what you think, what you think.
In fact, we are not that important in the eyes of others. For example, many of us like to say "What am I tired of today" and "I was praised by my boss today" in our circle of friends every day. In fact, everyone is burying their hair and friends, and everyone's WeChat friends are a hodgepodge. The circle of friends that emerges every day is like a product that comes out of the assembly line. We just meowed casually.
Do you think those who praise you really care about you? No, they are just used to praise, say "I have seen it", or want to get closer for the purpose of communication. Only people who really care about you will care about your mood and the circle of friends you send every day.
Therefore, apart from paying special attention to our family, a few sincere friends and a few people who love us deeply, a few people have time to care about you. We always like to live in the eyes of others, because we attach too much importance to ourselves in the eyes of others and always think that everything we say and do is intentional. No one really cares about you.
We live in the eyes of others because we have a psychological hint, "I am not as good as others, so I want to behave better." This gloomy psychological suggestion will only make us more bound and counterproductive.
So, if you ask me, people who live in other people's worlds will not live a good life after all. Because you are always thinking about what other people think. As a result, your behavior is not yourself, and you will be extremely painful or depressed.
Therefore, we should be true to ourselves. If you are in pain, you should say that you are in pain. Why bury pain because you care about others? Because in the end, you are still in pain. We need space to release emotions, not to suppress negative emotions. May we really be ourselves, do what we like and move towards our ideals. As long as you are brave enough to move forward, you will surely see the unfinished possibilities ahead.
Take action and say goodbye to other people's eyes.
Life is so short that we should be happy ourselves.