Teacher: "When to restrain yourself and when to indulge yourself, we must grasp this degree, Xiao Ming, and give an example to prove it!" " "Xiao Ming:" When you go out to eat, you should be restrained when ordering. If it is a buffet, you should indulge yourself. "More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!
Life humor jokes 1 1 An invigilator caught a cheating student and forced him to give up his partner, but the student refused.
The teacher smirked, grabbed the students' mobile phones and sent a mass message: the men's room on the second floor took the answer.
In class, the teacher saw that the students were sleepy again, so he put the textbooks together and said, "Now I will tell you a story about a romantic monk." The students' spirits have recovered a little.
The teacher said, "One day, a romantic monk walked across a bridge and saw a beautiful woman coming." And then suddenly stopped.
The students are very sleepy and ask what will happen after that. The teacher said simply, "One went west, the other went east, and left. Ok, let's start the class now. "
3. As soon as the girl learned ballet, she cried to the teacher after only practicing for a few days: "Teacher, I can't stand it!"
The teacher was not surprised, and said earnestly, "It's all right. If you persist more, you will lose weight ..."
In the last row, two girls are talking and laughing loudly. The teacher's face sank and knocked on the blackboard angrily: "class!" " Be quiet! "
They were startled and immediately shut up, but it seemed that the topic just now was so interesting that they could only keep silent and shake their shoulders. ...
The teacher sneered, "Yo, there are vibration modes."
I asked Xueba how to get a 0 in math, and he said that it would be fine if he didn't write his name.
2. Nowadays, primary school students are very powerful. Shaving a big brother's head, installing a subwoofer and riding an electric donkey is simply a bad posture of falling into the river.
Every time we have math class, the teacher takes us to the ocean of knowledge. After class, the teacher went ashore and we drowned.
4. Holiday: Just because I woke up doesn't mean I got up; Student days: getting up doesn't mean waking up. What a painful feeling!
5. "History is always strikingly similar!" The teacher took out my deskmate's history paper and said to me.
6. In the chemistry experiment class, a senior unfortunately blew himself up and became scum due to operational mistakes. ...
7. What is a university? University is to teach juniors how to dump freshmen, that is, freshmen ask juniors how to catch up with seniors.
8. Teachers always educate us that we must be a quality person when we grow up and stay away from pornography and gambling! Now that I have really grown up, I know that you are really worrying! Which of these three things diaosi can play with!
Interesting life humor sketch 3 1. The biology teacher asked: What are the advantages of having two eyes?
A wonderful flower in the class blurted out: one is blind and the other is blind.
2. Teacher: "As the monitor, you saw someone playing chess in the self-study class. Why not stop it? "
Monitor: "Because chess is not a real gentleman!" " "
I couldn't answer a question in the exam, so I had to ask my girlfriend for help with my eyes. I didn't expect her to break up with me after the exam. The reason is that your eyes are not full of love, but are mixed with other things.
I fell in love with a girl in junior high school. I was playing with my mobile phone that day when I suddenly received her message: "Let's go to the park tomorrow and Saturday!" "
Hehe, an upright person like me decisively replied, "My deskmate likes you so much, and so do you, alas!" Then I silently blacklisted her, and then I returned my mobile phone to my deskmate.
Many single young men are in such an embarrassing situation: all the female friends around him praise him, but no one wants to be his girlfriend.
Nowadays, girls demand the same rights as men, but they refuse to pursue men as men pursue women. Backward compatibility is not rejecting a good man like a man. That's why so many women are left.
3. Girls are really suitable to be villains. Just ask, "Do you know where you are wrong?" I won't give any hints, and the start is fast and accurate. The protagonist is unwilling to die: Where am I wrong?
It is actually very difficult for girls to conquer other girls, because it is not enough to be beautiful, but also to be true and kind and stand the test of women's eyes. It can't be intentional and artificial.
So if a girl is liked by a girl, a man can like her with confidence. No mistake, this is definitely a good girl.
Men and women together are nothing more than these little things.
6. The woman said to the man: Why don't you marry me?
Man: I have stolen other people's food. Do you want me to hold the pot? Dude, this is the conscience of the industry.
5 1. The weather is getting hotter and hotter. Cousin said that wearing pants every day is suffocating and underwear is uncomfortable. I told her that wearing a long skirt is very comfortable and there is no need to worry about getting naked. She came to my house to play today. I asked her how she felt. Cousin: It's quite comfortable, but I've lost many boyfriends ...
My wife and I love each other very much, so we agreed to put two yuan into the piggy bank every time in after making love, which not only saves money, but also makes us happy! Finally one day, the piggy bank was full. I smashed the piggy bank and found there were a lot of hundred dollars in it, so I questioned my wife. She disdains: Do you think everyone is as stingy as you?
3. When I was a child, I thought it was amazing that the flashlight at home could illuminate. I took the flashlight apart and found something even more amazing. The battery inside is actually a wallet! I ran to tell my mother. Since then, as long as I make mistakes and get beaten, my dad has directly changed from a former bench player to an absolute main force!
My husband is going on a business trip for a month, and my wife sent him to the station. He said to me reluctantly, "wife, I promise you, I will never have sex outside during this period!" Make sure to eat and sleep on time! Promise to call every day! Be sure to take care of your body! "
His wife pushed him into the car: "Well, well, get in the car!" " Just make sure you don't come back early ~ "
My wife gave me a brain teaser and said there was a goldfish and a turtle in the fish tank. One day, the goldfish died. Why?
I said I was killed by a turtle, but she saidno. I said the goldfish was ill, but she saidno. I really couldn't guess, so I asked the answer. She said the tortoise wants to know, too. ...
6. Before going to bed, I said to my wife, "Look, cute girls nowadays just talk well, and there are overlapping words behind them, such as: eating, sleeping, bananas, bread … how comfortable it sounds."
My wife gave me a contemptuous white look and said, "That's the only way."
I looked at my wife suspiciously and said, "You too? Let's hear it? "
The wife gnashed her teeth and said, "Stop nagging!"
7. "Husband, you are really capable. After dinner, you wash dishes and wash clothes, and there is still room. My husband is the best. "
"Don't praise me, I know I will suffer a big loss if you praise me."
"Yes, you don't look at how the word' kua' is written."
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