The Bible says, "Without love, life is meaningless." The "love" here means "giving" and "dedication" to a great extent. In real life, not everyone can grasp "love". Just look at the experience of Anthony Robbins, a famous American success master.
Once, Anthony Robbins sat next to a college student on the plane. That college student seems to know everything, but in their conversation, he takes "I" in every sentence.
Finally Robin said, "Do you know how many times you said' I' during this 500-mile air journey? Why not talk about' we'? "
In sharp contrast with him, Robin met a man at Chicago airport. It was snowing all over the sky, and they had been trapped there for two days. Some people cry all day: "I want to leave here!" " I want to go to Cincinnati! "However, there is a woman among this group of people. She walked up to every mother with a child one by one and said, "Come on, give me the child! I want to run a kindergarten. Tell the child an interesting story. You can take this opportunity to have a drink, go to the toilet or buy something to eat. "
Why do people who live in the same place and are trapped by snow have two completely different attitudes? The answer lies in whether there is a strong consciousness-a consciousness of thinking for others and trying to make others live better. When you do this, you will get a kind of happiness and happiness from it.
At the beginning of the day, we should remind ourselves to love others and try our best to discover the beautiful things in the world. Then, from the external reaction, you will find a lovely self. If there is no one around to hold your hand tightly when you are dying, it means that you have never extended a friendly hand to help others in your life. Please read the following story:
Students often come to the priest and ask, "You always say what you want to do for others. What does this mean? "
Once, a boy named Jill asked the priest, "What can I do?" So the priest took him to a nursing home not far from the University of Southern California. Facing the patient lying in bed and looking straight at the ceiling, Jill said, "I know nothing about gerontology." What am I doing here? "
The priest said to him, "Don't forget, do you see a lady over there?" Go over and say, "How are you?" "
So he sat down and talked to her. Jill was surprised to find that her knowledge was so profound and her soul so noble. She talked endlessly about life, love, pain and misfortune, and even talked about how to try to meet the coming of death with a calm mood. Since then, Jill has extended a friendly hand to the old lady and other people in the nursing home, and touching things have been happening between them. One day, the priest saw Jill walking across the campus with more than 30 old people-they were going to watch a football match. Is there anything more exciting than this?
Therefore, life itself is not a goal, but a process of moving towards a certain goal. The realization of the goal depends on step by step. If every step is solid and meaningful, it means life.
If love is defined, the only word that can sum up its full meaning is life. Once you lose love, you lose your life. Please cherish your love and express your love with actions. It is better to live a happy and generous life than to be sad and unhappy. Openness is the true meaning of love.
Openness is a kind of detachment and the liberation of self-spirit. Openness is a kind of tolerance. Magnificent and generous, no ill feelings in the chest, a big belly and a hundred rivers. What about gossip? What about dark clouds? There is an immortal sunshine in my heart. Treat everything with a calm mind. When the dark clouds disperse, it must be a bright spot. Openness is a kind of happiness. An open-minded person has a big heart and a broad mind. Sadness and pain were all torn to pieces in laughter and shouting. Openness is a kind of self-confidence. Without spiritual support, all that remains is a piece of skin. This spirit is self-confidence, self-confidence is strength, self-confidence gives people wisdom and courage, self-confidence can eliminate troubles, self-confidence can get people out of trouble, and with self-confidence, it is full of light. An open-minded person must be a person who dares to do things, and a gentleman who stoops and strives for perfection is by no means his own brother.
Of course, being open-minded is not Li Kui jy's self-expression. Openness is a kind of cultivation, an idea and a supreme spiritual realm. In the final analysis, it is an attitude towards the world. Su Dongpo was displaced all his life, but he "died without being surprised and was angry without cause".
Openness is a broad-minded, detached and unrestrained attitude, and it is also one of the highest realms of human personality. Generally speaking, open-minded people are more tolerant and can understand and respect other people's different views, thoughts, speeches and behaviors, as well as their own religious beliefs and racial concepts. Don't easily impose what you think is right or wrong on others. They sometimes disagree with others' opinions or practices, but they will respect others' choices and give them the right to think and live freely. Sometimes, openness often leads to tolerance, and tolerance leads to freedom. I remember Mr. Hu Shi said that if everyone wants to enjoy freedom, everyone should adopt two attitudes: morally, everyone should have the virtue of modesty, and everyone must hold his own views, which are not necessarily correct; Psychologically, everyone should have an open mind and tolerant magnanimity to tolerate different or even opposite opinions. In other words, after adopting these two attitudes, you tolerate my opinion and I tolerate your opinion, so that everyone can enjoy freedom.
Of course, being open-minded does not mean tolerating others infinitely, and being cheerful does not mean accepting or tolerating criminal acts that have caused harm. But for individuals, being open-minded will often bring better interpersonal relationships, and they will also reduce hatred and unhealthy emotions psychologically; For a group, tolerance and openness are undoubtedly regulators to create a harmonious atmosphere. Therefore, being open-minded and tolerant is a magic weapon to establish good interpersonal relationships, and it is also the embodiment of a person's perfect personality.
An American writer once said: There is no relaxation without an open mind. No matter how successful you are, no matter how high you climb, no matter how much leisure you have, no matter how many beautiful goals you have, you will still suffer from inner pain without tolerance. The largest in the world is the ocean. What is bigger than the ocean is the sky, and what is bigger than the sky is the human mind. At all times and in all countries, there are countless examples of people's friendship and affection, or the elimination of hatred and grievances because of their openness, tolerance and humility.
During the period of Tang Gaozong, there was an official named Pei Xingjian. His family had a good horse and a precious saddle given to him by the emperor. A subordinate rode a horse and went out to play in private. As a result, the horse fell and broke the saddle. The subordinates were very scared and fled overnight. Pei Hangjian called the subordinate back and didn't blame him for it.
On another occasion, Pei Xingjian led troops to Pingdu to support Li Zhesi. As a result, he got a lot of valuable treasures, so he gave a banquet to entertain everyone and show them to the guests. When one of his men was holding a beautiful agate plate with a diameter of two feet for everyone to see, he accidentally fell and broke the plate, and suddenly he fell to his knees and kowtowed hard, even bleeding. Pei Xingjian smiled and said, "You didn't mean it." There is no pity on his face.
In these tolerant stories in history, the injured party did not break into a furious rage and hold a grudge because of his loss and embarrassment; On the contrary, they all showed magnanimity, magnanimity and indifference. As a result, instead of suffering more losses and embarrassment, it unconsciously calmed the dispute and won the praise of others.
Only when a person is open-minded, cheerful and tolerant can he accept others, be good at getting along with others, realize the significance and role of others' existence, be understood and accepted by others, be accepted by the collective, communicate with others, coordinate interpersonal relationships, and be integrated with collective members. Gregarious people often share happiness with friends, showing more positive attitudes than negative emotions; Even when you are alone, you can get along well and you won't feel lonely. Because this kind of people with positive emotions will feel the value of their existence, can make appropriate and objective evaluations of their abilities, personalities, emotions, advantages and disadvantages, will not make harsh and unrealistic demands on themselves, can properly determine their own goals and principles of being a man, strive to develop their own potential, do not avoid and deny their own shortcomings, and try their best to infect others with their optimism. It is these characteristics that have won everyone's love and recognition.
Generous, but not perfect. We should work hard in the following three aspects:
First of all, we must realize that "no one is perfect"
For example, although a person has good grades and can speak eloquently, it does not mean that a person is good; He always has his weaknesses. Even in terms of his strengths, there are always people who are better than him. Arguing with others, he often wins and occasionally loses, which is a normal thing in life, but he is not prepared for it. Therefore, taking this unexpected failure as an opportunity, it leads to psychological imbalance, and the mood plummets: there are obvious negative emotions such as worry, fear and fear. Actually, he took a class in the third grade. Although the teacher helped him stand up, he just "stumbled" and didn't "gain wisdom". Therefore, in the highly competitive social life, we should realize that "no one is perfect", which requires us to make continuous progress and allow ourselves to fail occasionally to maintain psychological balance.
Second, make people reasonable.
Others retorted that he was speechless. He is so angry, hates others and cares about others. He drove people speechless again and again. Will others not hate him? So he was so antagonistic among his classmates that after he was in a bad mood, no one sympathized with him and helped him. Instead, he took the opportunity to attack him and let him "have no friends." His lesson tells people that when arguing and conflicting with others, as long as you are reasonable, you should take the initiative to give others a step down and save some face, so that you will not only defeat others intellectually, but also win their trust and respect emotionally. There will be more and more friends. When you encounter difficulties and setbacks, others will take the initiative to help you.
Third, we should "tolerate others"
We often hear people say, "I hate others." This kind of hatred plays an important role in people's bad mood. On the one hand, when he hates others, he is always filled with indignation and hopes that others will be unlucky and punished, but he often can't. A disappointment and inexplicable irritability made him lose his relaxed mood and happy mood, which made him uneasy. On the other hand, when you hate others, because you alienate others, you only see your own shortcomings, belittle others in words and be hostile to others in actions, which leads to more and more rigid interpersonal relationships and more and more enemies. Moreover, hating this today and hating that tomorrow will lead to fewer and fewer friends and more and more opposites, which will seriously affect interpersonal relations and social interaction and become a "loner". In this way, not only negative life events come from a wide range, but also his endurance is getting worse and worse, and social support is getting less and less, so that he can never recover after his mood plummeted. It can be seen that hating others is like planting a bitter seed in your heart, which constantly hurts your physical and mental health, instead of hurting the person you hate as you wish.
So when others hurt themselves and hate others, you might as well put yourself in their shoes. If you were in this situation, would it be the same? When someone you know hurts you, think about his help and care in your study or life, and all his benefits to you. In this way, the anger and resentment in your heart will be greatly reduced, and you can forgive others' mistakes or eliminate misunderstandings with a tolerant attitude, resolve conflicts and make up again, so that you can always study and work in good interpersonal relationships. In this way, it is others who are tolerant, but it is oneself who benefits. Biblical proverb
Our love should not be just verbal love, but real love, which must be proved by actions.