There are two characters in the works of Sophocles, an ancient Greek tragic writer, that are unforgettable. King Oedipus killed his father and wanted his mother, and finally became blind, leaving Thebes and wandering alone. Elektra finally murdered his mother and her adulterer with his adult brother * * to avenge his father and never marry himself. However, these two sad stories also gave birth to two topics that people have been talking about for a long time-Oedipus complex and Oedipus complex. There is no denying that these two kinds of complex do exist in some human beings, and serious people can't even get rid of it for a lifetime. Many people have shown this tendency since childhood, so boys will keep saying to their mothers, "Mom, I want to marry you when I grow up." The girl held her father's head coquetry and said, "Dad, I want to marry you when I grow up!" " "Most parents, after listening to their children, should only be joking. After that, they still think their children are cute and kiss their little faces. I don't know that some psychological deviations of children are from now on.

An education expert once said: "Most people's personalities are formed in the first few years of life." Many studies believe that children are the most sensitive and dependent when they are 1.5 to 3 years old. If the mother overprotects and dotes on the child, it will cause the child's Oedipus mentality. In this case, the boy has long had a special tenderness for his mother, treating his mother as his own property and his father as the enemy fighting for this property, trying to replace his father in the relationship between his parents. Especially for some fathers who bully their mothers, their hearts are full of hatred. In the same way, the girl thinks that her mother interfered with her gentleness to her father, showed rare possessiveness to her father, and unconsciously learned to dress up, trying to attract her father's attention. Even in order to compete with the mother and monopolize the father, the love for the mother adds the element of hate.

Generally speaking, children spoil their mothers too much, which is often caused by their "private feelings". These mothers want their children to love her only and kiss their mothers only. Sometimes, they even love their children more than their husbands and relatives. People are used to seeing this as a family problem. If children are not attached to themselves, many people will think that they are not close enough, so they will make up for it twice. However, such love may not have a good result, which often leads to children's excessive dependence on their mothers when they were young. When he becomes an adult, his social circle and life are too narrow, which will have certain influence and restriction on his intelligence and gregarious behavior. Contrary to the children who love their mothers, the performance of loving their fathers and children is to treat their mothers as outsiders. Not only did they not regard their mother as a reliance in daily life, but they were also relatively alienated emotionally. Children's morbid psychology and behavior not only make parents deeply unhappy and annoyed, but also affect their physical and mental health. The situation should be that the boy agrees with his father and the girl agrees with his mother. On the other hand, it is easy to form a child's gender identity obstacle.

It is said that everyone with normal sexual orientation will have different degrees of "father-loving" (or "mother-loving") tendency-boys like to talk to their mothers about anything and then try to solve it; Girls, on the other hand, are more willing to tell their fathers something. Why is this? Simply put, opposites attract each other. To put it more thoroughly, as a mother (or father) of the opposite sex, when dealing with the problems of her son (or daughter), she can enlighten or enlighten her children from the perspective of the opposite sex. Over time, the daughter (or son) has formed this situation of telling her father (or mother) about her difficulties.

Boys and girls' infatuation with heterosexual parents in the process of mental development can't go any further. After all, grown-up children know that they can't marry their parents under any circumstances, which leads many people to unconsciously take their parents as a measure when choosing a spouse. In the process of growing up, a girl can never achieve psychological separation from her father. As a result, her relationship with her mother is alienated, and her normal communication with men of the same age and even her marriage and love are often seriously affected. Such girls are always looking for a father's love intentionally or unintentionally, but even if they find it, getting along will become a problem, because most girls who love their fathers are introverted, delicate and willful, and often have sexual resistance. Moreover, many men like to pursue women older than themselves, and this trend is becoming more and more serious. Although these men have grown up, they have been unable to grow up spiritually because of more or less Oedipus complex. So they lack self-determination and independence in everything they do. If no one guides him and takes the lead in demonstrating, he will be timid and even lack his own opinions and motivation in sexual life. In some families, the female is the protagonist. She likes to treat her husband as a child and spoil him, and even won't let him do any housework. This method is well used, quite good. A man was bullied outside when he was a child and had to ask his mother for help. He thinks the safest harbor is the mother's arm. Such a man is frustrated in society when he grows up. He naturally thinks that the arms of his wife and girlfriend are his safest harbor. Because life has given a man too heavy a role, he must be strong if he wants to take on more social responsibilities. If he wants to be strong, he will bear great psychological pressure and have fear and anxiety in his heart. However, a man's inner "problems" can't be told to outsiders casually. He wants to talk, and the best person to ask for help is his wife or girlfriend. Men are very masculine outside, but they are very fragile inside, so at home, in front of their wives or girlfriends, they often sprinkle a little jiao and pour out their inner anxiety. This is a kind of manly help, trying to get a woman's concern for him, just like a child. Some men want to find an older woman as their wife. There's an old saying in China, "Women's little three raise gold bricks, and women's little three and mother's five games".

In fact, most people and many children or adults don't know that they feel this way. Even when consciousness carefully avoids recognizing these feelings, when they appear, they are already disguised. However, there are still some people who did not survive the Oedipus period safely for various reasons and were consolidated there. After growing up, this incest complex has always existed. Moreover, it has become the main part of my inner conflict. On the one hand, I think subconsciously, but I don't allow it in my mind. This kind of fear makes those feelings that are not allowed by society blocked in my subconscious, causing serious psychological problems, and sometimes even doing irrational things.

Perhaps, there will be some people who will go through such a period when they grow up. When they were young, or now they already hated their heterosexual parents. However, in the face of moral taboos, they will be as ashamed as Oedipus in the past. Because this is not allowed by human ethics, even thinking about it is evil. Faced with these situations, some people have successfully dealt with them before they are fully aware of it. For a boy, when he begins to hate his father and wants a mother, he will naturally show hostility to his father, but more and more he will find that he does not have enough strength to resist his father. Instead, I will learn from my father's approval and grow up slowly. For a girl, when she grows up, the love she gets from the opposite sex is completely different from her father's concern. When she fell in love, she unconsciously transferred her complex with her father. In this transformation process, the degree will be different because of different family circumstances and personal experiences. More importantly, many people will find that there is always a difference between affection and love.

However, some things in human nature are complicated after all. Freud said that in the early stage of human development, fathers had exclusive sexual rights to their sisters and daughters. So the son resisted, killed his father and ate it. The son felt guilty and suppressed his sexual desire for his mother, sister and daughter. Incest taboo and marriage outside the family are produced in this way. People can't completely refute this view and think it is completely wrong, but no one can deny that many subconscious things in human nature are difficult to explain clearly.

Why do humans emphasize the role of a happy marriage in children? After all, only children who grow up under the care of sound parents are healthier. After all, a sound family is easier to cultivate children's sound psychology and provide them with more perfect love and security, isn't it?