Regardless of success or failure, it is finally classified as loess.
Only some people are immortal and live in people's hearts forever; And some people have nothing, and no one remembers that he has ever been to this world.
—0 1—
The rolling mountains, like an old camel, radiate brilliant light in the fiery red sun in the morning and leave thousands of colors in the brilliant sunset in the evening, so reciprocating and tireless.
Immersed in the brilliant sunset glow is a small village, small because there are only nine families.
Legend has it that a long time ago, an old man passed by a small village. He looked around and said simply, this village can't keep people. When ten households are full, one will be moved.
As the old man said, one out of every ten households in this village will move out for some reason.
Just move, anyway, people are used to it, and it doesn't matter much if there are more households and fewer households.
Everything is running as usual.
Daniel sat on the small stone pier of his neighbor's shabby low house and looked at the dark mountain opposite. When he came to his senses, he realized that the mountain gave birth to a trace of awe for no reason.
He felt a little cold, so he unconsciously wrapped himself in a thin and worn shirt, which he brought from town. According to the people in the town, those clothes were sent by good people.
Daniel, everyone calls that man captain.
When everyone has finished picking, the battalion chief said to Daniel standing in the corner, all are picked, and you can pick the rest.
Daniel looked at the clothes for a while, and finally chose this shirt. It was full of patches, but it was clean.
When he basks in the sun at the door in this dress, others will say a few sarcastic words: "Hey, Daniel, everyone is wearing new clothes. This dress was also picked up for free in the town that year. "
Daniel smiled and nodded.
"I said Daniel, you are not a bad person. Although you had such a serious illness, at least there are good people to help you ... "
The speaker is Daniel's next-door neighbor Wu Wang. Wang Wu is the door-to-door son-in-law. She works hard, but she is stingy, has a bad mouth and likes to gossip.
Daniel ignored him. At the moment, his heart was desolate. He thinks that if he is a healthy person, no one will need relief. But God loves to play jokes on him, and his life seems to have nothing to do with "health".
Daniel's mother is in poor health, and Daniel has been sick since birth. Because of this, Daniel's mother feels guilty about Daniel and feels that she has brought trouble to her son, so she cherishes her youngest son all the more.
However, Daniel's father is the opposite. Of the two sons, Daniel is his least favorite.
Because Daniel didn't live up to expectations, his father hated him for this iron.
Daniel's father was a horrible character when he was young. He is a small official in the village branch, and he is very efficient and merciless. Everyone is afraid of him.
He couldn't figure out why such a clever man would give birth to such a disappointing son. According to him, mud can't help the wall, and salted fish stuck to the bottom of the pot will never turn over.
You said he couldn't support Dou and gave birth to two girls. You know, A Niu's father likes boys best, so A Niu is completely left out in the cold, and he is no longer hated by his father.
That's true. Although Daniel was weak when he was a child, he was very naughty. He went to school for a few days and found it boring, so he stopped.
His father is not even afraid of coaxing and scaring. His father couldn't resist grabbing him by the collar and dragging him out of the house. He shouted and kicked all the way, but his father couldn't beat him and let him go.
On the days when he doesn't go to school, Daniel idles around the village all day. Some old people in the village began to play tricks on him and teach him to do bad things, but such a small child could not do anything bad, so he was taught to smoke.
Daniel asked, what is a cigarette? Is it easy to smoke?
Those people said, of course it's easy to smoke. You see, we all smoke. Doesn't your father smoke every day?
Daniel thought about it. He did see his father smoking, but rarely. Every time his father smokes, his mother always talks about it and smokes less.
But my father said that this cigarette is really a good thing. If you smoke one in your spare time, you won't have any troubles.
Even my father said that cigarettes are good things, and they must be good.
Daniel took the cigarette that had been lit in front of him, put it into his mouth trembling, took a drag, suddenly coughed and even choked out tears.
Those people comforted him and said, it's okay. It was like this at first. Smoke more.
Since then, Daniel has been addicted to cigarettes. At that time, there were no cigarettes. They were all home-grown tobacco leaves. Seeing Daniel skillfully using waste paper cigarette leaves, his father became even more angry. He picked up the broom at hand and ran after it.
Strange to say, Daniel is usually weak, but every time he is naughty, he is like a wild horse that has lost its reins and can't get rid of it.
My father was completely disappointed in him. As long as Daniel doesn't bother him, he is too lazy to take care of this hopeless child.
Without the control of his father, Daniel lived a free life for several years. When he was a teenager, he lost his childhood playfulness and unruly, but became addicted to cigarettes. He insisted on smoking every day, and he had a resounding name at an early age, called "heavy smoker".
Later, this "heavy smoker" became synonymous with him.
With the growth of age, Daniel's mother became worse and worse, and his father had to go home to take care of her. In order not to make his wife sad, he tried not to mention Daniel in front of her, and never beat and scold him, but always sighed silently in the dead of night.
Daniel's mother finally couldn't hold on and left on a rainy night.
Daniel lost his only warmth. He hid in the quilt and cried all night. When he appeared in front of people with a pair of light bulb eyes the next day, no one noticed his change, let alone comforted him.
He looked at everyone in a daze, as if the whole world had nothing to do with him.
—02—
Time flies, time flies.
In a blink of an eye, Daniel has grown into a big boy and it's time to get married. His father is looking for someone for him everywhere.
Because his family was fairly well-off, in that era when his income was divided by working, Daniel quickly decided to get married, and soon he got married.
Daniel's daughter-in-law is of medium height, with big eyes and a round forehead. She is a wooden, honest and kind person. She is the eldest in the family and has never been to school. She has been taking care of her younger brother and sister at home.
According to her, she once walked to the school gate and was dragged back by her parents. What did her parents say you were studying? Hurry home and take care of your brother and sister.
She couldn't help but go home, and the school teacher looked at her distant back, sighed and shook her head.
Daniel had three daughters after five years of marriage. The arrival of the baby girl didn't bring much fun to his life, but it often became the fuse of his quarrel with his wife.
My father does not like his daughter. He often sneers in front of A Niu, and people in the village don't take him seriously because he gave birth to three girls.
You know, in the villages around here, only Daniel gave birth to a girl, and everyone else's family is a boy. You can imagine how difficult it is for him in a village without boys.
Daniel's father has long lost his official position and is old. No one in the village takes him seriously. Anyone can chew the root of his tongue behind his back. The young people in the village even beat him because of the forest boundary.
It took him a slap to realize that the time when he was in charge of everything was long gone. Now he is just an old man, and there are many things he can't do. What he can do now is to take good care of his two older children.
Those are two white chubby boys with foreheads similar to those of his youth. He looked at the boys, one big and one small, and the more he looked at them, the more pleasing he became, the more he liked them.
Although he is old, he still goes to the fields to help his eldest son every morning.
As for Daniel, consider him as his son.
Daniel was angry in front of his father and villagers. When he got home, he took all the fire out on his wife. He felt that his wife's stomach was disappointing, leaving him childless.
He was very strong and slapped his wife, but he was not convinced. He started hitting the three girls again, and the three girls ran away when they saw that they were going to be beaten.
His wife hid her face and sobbed in a low voice. Two older girls were scared, beaten and cried, but they couldn't be coaxed. Daniel was annoyed and smashed everything that could be smashed at home.
Seeing the mess everywhere, Daniel felt very uncomfortable, but he just couldn't help himself.
Every time A Niu quarrels with his wife, the villagers will gloat and watch the scene of bustle at the door without stopping the fight. My father's face was livid with a little older boy, but he was also a bystander.
Daniel is getting depressed every day. He felt that his life was hopeless. He stays at home all day, doing neither farm work nor housework.
My wife takes a young girl to work in the fields every day. Sometimes, her pain has nowhere to tell, so she takes all her grievances out on the baby. The baby knows nothing, but feels scolded for no reason.
Daniel doesn't work, his illiterate wife does some simple farm work, and there is no income at home, so life is getting harder and harder.
As long as the family is healthy and safe, it doesn't matter if they are short of money. The old habit of favoring Daniel is back. He feels sick again. He couldn't tell what the problem was. He feels the same as when he was a child. So he started the old cow in the seller and bought the medicine he had been taking before.
Taking a lot of medicine has no effect, but there is no money to buy medicine for him at home. He had no choice but to find remedies. According to others, he began to look for herbs in the mountains.
He washed the herbs he found and dried them in the sun. He looked at the vines and grass dried up by the sun, and his heart was full of hope.
As long as you finish drinking these herbs, you will be cured!
However, after taking western medicine and Chinese herbal medicine, the condition has not improved, but has become more serious.
After much reasoning, he decided to ask his cousin to take him to the county hospital.
He took the 300 yuan lent to him by his eldest brother and followed his cousin to the county hospital. When the doctor examined him, he asked him many questions, most of which were economic, and he answered them truthfully.
The test results came out, and the doctor called my cousin in to talk. When my cousin came out, his face was very bad.
Daniel asked his cousin if there was anything wrong with his exam.
Cousin squeezed out a smile and said, nothing, a small problem. I didn't speak again.
Daniel was not at ease and went to see the doctor again. The doctor said, didn't you tell your family? No problem. You can eat whatever you want and do whatever you want when you get home.
Seeing what the doctor said was so light, Daniel didn't ask anything.
After a while, Daniel felt that his abdomen was getting bigger and bigger, while people were getting thinner and thinner. He thinks his cousin may have hidden him.
He found his cousin and forced him to tell the truth.
When my cousin finished with tears in her eyes, Daniel seemed to be hit by a bolt from the blue. He waited quietly for a while and said, "Cancer? Late? "
My cousin nodded and turned away, afraid to look at him again.
Daniel stumbled back home. He felt that his sky was falling. His eyes are black, and he can't see the light anymore.
He hid under the covers and cried all night, just like when his mother died.
—03—
The news that Daniel had cancer soon spread all over the village. Everyone thinks he is unlucky, and everyone avoids him for fear of being infected by him.
Although people avoided Daniel, they talked about him with relish.
They got together to discuss what to do with Daniel's daughter after his death. After some discussion, they privately arranged accommodation for Daniel's daughter.
The eldest daughter is old enough to earn money to support her family, so let her stay in the village. The other two girls are going to school, so let them follow their mother.
These words reached the ears of A Niu's father. He doesn't care about the future of these girls. In his eyes, the girl is a duckweed. Anyway, there was no place to stand, so he left with them, but he felt sorry for his son.
Daniel lived up to expectations, but he brought up himself. At least he calls himself "Dad". His father remembered his past with Daniel, and his eyes filled with tears. He trembled and said, My Daniel is a good boy when he is obedient!
Daniel's condition is getting worse and worse. He doesn't even have the strength to go out in the sun. He always has nightmares about some dead friends and people he has never met. They always drag him to a place.
Daniel woke up in his sleep and was scared out in a cold sweat. He began to ask his wife to pray to God and worship Buddha. Sometimes when he is in a better spirit, he will go to the temple to burn incense himself. He pinned all his hopes on the gods in the temple.
But no matter how much incense he burns and how many buddhas he worships, his illness has not improved.
Gradually, he stopped burning incense and worshipping Buddha.
He had a coffin built for himself, and when no one was around, he lay in it, staring at the shabby ceiling on the top floor of the old house.
He often stays for one day.
—04—
A friend in need is a friend in need.
During these years when Daniel was ill, no one cared about him except his wife and baby girl. He began to understand that in this world, no one can be trusted except his wife and children.
The eldest daughter dropped out of school before Daniel became ill. She is very young and belongs to child labor. No factory wants her. She got a job as a kitchen in a small restaurant in town. She washes dishes in the kitchen every day and gets 100 yuan a month. She goes home once a month to buy A Niu what he wants to eat.
Every time Daniel heard that the big girl was coming back, he sat in that corner early and waited.
That corner is on a high slope. Sitting there, you can see the far end of the mountain road. As long as the big girl turns that corner, she can see him.
The stone on which Daniel sat was moved by him with great strength. There is a crutch beside him. He is too thin to walk any further. He had to rely on this crutch and walked here with tenacious perseverance.
Next to his crutch, sat a rhubarb dog, an alert dog, which A Niu's wife bought from her mother's house with a duck. It is said that people who keep cats and dogs have to reciprocate their gifts.
Daniel didn't pay much attention to dogs before, except that he could occasionally keep a rabbit at home. This rabbit was brought back from the mountain by Huang.
During Daniel's serious illness, Huang always accompanied him. He sat there, and Huang sat next to him. Daniel occasionally touches his head with scrawny hands, and he licks Daniel's hands with his tail, and sometimes licks his face.
Whenever this happens, Daniel will burst into tears. How much he wants to live if he can!
There are many things in this world, many expectations and wishes, but once the prefix "if" is added, it will become a luxury and regret.
Daniel is always a pity.
—05—
The sunshine outside is particularly good, and A Niu's spirit seems to be particularly good. He wanted to go out to bask in the sun, so he sat on crutches in the little stone town next door.
His bloated body almost burst his old shirt. Wang Wu stood at a distance and greeted him. He thinks A Niu is very interesting now, so he starts talking to him at the top of his voice.
No matter what he said, A Niu ignored him. Bored, he went into his room.
A Niu took out his cigarette trembling, stood there trembling and took a drag. I don't know if the smoke is too strong or if he hasn't smoked for a long time. I saw his sunken eyes filled with tears. While smoking, he shed tears, which wet his uneven dry hands. ...
Huang wagged his tail and sat down beside him silently. Looking at the opposite mountain, Huang also looked at the opposite mountain, as if the mountain had some magic.
A Niu came home, black at the moment, and fell heavily on the ground. ...
Daniel left with endless reluctance.
He was in his forties when he left.
Someone once teased him like this: "Daniel, you three baby girls will all belong to others in the future." When you are old, no one will give you an ending. "
Indeed, when he left, his wife and daughter were doing farm work outside, and no one died for him.
Because Daniel had pus when he left, the villagers were afraid that his pus would spread, so they wrapped him in a piece of white plastic paper and put him in the coffin.
An elderly aunt said with red eyes that if Daniel is wrapped up like this, he will never enter reincarnation again, and his soul will be trapped in this blank sheet of paper forever.
Her words made people feel a chill, and everyone fell silent, but there was no other way. He must be buried.
A Niu was buried.
The gloomy sky was severely opened by a flash of lightning, and a muffled thunder roared down. The wind raged and the rainstorm was like a note.
It rained for three consecutive days. Maybe god is crying for the poor man, too.
After the rain, everything remains the same.
Everyone has forgotten that a few days ago, A Niu was still dragging his tired body to bask in the sunshine in the small stone town next door to the Wangs.
Once some people are gone, there is no trace of them in this world; Not many people remember that he ever came to this world.
There is always some suffering in this world, which makes people feel helpless and burst into tears.