Will there be a moment when your heart is suddenly swallowed up by a huge and desolate loneliness, and you look around but there is no one to complain to?

The world is so big that I don’t know where I really end up, even if it’s just a place;

I don’t know anyone who can talk to me about my feelings, even if it’s just a place. A stranger.

On a late autumn night one thousand two hundred years ago, on the banks of the Xunyang River in Jiangzhou (now Jiujiang, Jiangxi), there was a desolate and silent cold moon, a bleak autumn wind, and maple leaves fluttering in the wind. Ogi flowers, they witnessed the whole process of spiritual connection between a famous poet and a down-and-out geisha.

Therefore, a sad story has been passed down, a mood that caused many people's hearts to scream, and a poem that has been passed down through the ages.

1.

The poet is Bai Juyi. At that time, he was a famous figure in the entire Tang Dynasty. When it comes to the famous "Song of Everlasting Sorrow", everyone knows and knows it.

However, when the 44-year-old Bai Juyi came to Jiangzhou, he was demoted. He was like a coal of fire exuding endless enthusiasm that was suddenly extinguished by a basin of cold water.

In 772 AD, Bai Juyi was born in Xinzheng, Henan. When he was born, he was just a piece of charcoal.

When he was only six months old, his wet nurse held him in her arms and asked him to point to the words "Zhi" and "无" on the screen of the book as a joke. It can be found directly, and it works repeatedly. A baby, before he can speak, has contributed an idiom to the vast Chinese vocabulary: a little knowledge of nothing.

Started learning to write poetry at the age of five; mastered the rhythm at the age of nine; at the age of fifteen, he wrote "The hanging shadow is divided into thousands of miles of wild geese, and the roots of the poem are scattered into nine-autumn pendants. *** Looking at the bright moon should shed tears, A poem describing a family's escape from war.

When he first arrived in Chang'an at the age of 16, the great poet Gu Kuang once ridiculed this young man who was tired of life: "rice in Chang'an is expensive, so living in Chang'an is not easy!" However, the song "Farewell to the Ancient Yuancao" made Gu Kuang look at him with admiration. , "The wild fire cannot be burned out, but the spring breeze blows again" spread throughout the streets and alleys of Chang'an.

Bai Juyi not only settled down in Chang'an, but also received star-like treatment. In midsummer, the heat was unbearable, and the rich and powerful all paid for ice cubes that they might not be able to buy. Someone delivered them directly to his residence without taking any money.

Being smart is already enviable, but he still works very hard. Because he had to take the imperial examination, he returned to Fuli's home. Yes, it was Fuli, Anhui Province, which was famous for its roast chicken. Bai Juyi's father moved his family here to avoid the war.

My mouth and tongue got sores because I studied for too long; my elbows got calluses because I kept writing. His eyes became short-sighted very early, but he didn't have glasses at that time, so he always squinted and stretched his neck to see people, and his back was hunched early.

He doesn't care about this, because he is a small fire charcoal, and his heart is burning with blazing fire.

He must pass the imperial examination in order to be worthy of his father who died of illness in Xiangyang, to be worthy of his eldest brother Bai Youwen who supported their five brothers and mother with a meager salary, and to be worthy of his ideal of reviving the Tang Dynasty.

There has always been a saying in the imperial examination that "thirty old people know the classics, and fifty young people are Jinshi". Ming Jing, which means "clearly studying the classics", can be passed if you have a good memory and memorize it; Jinshi is not only tested on the understanding of the classics, but also on political literacy and management ability. As long as you pass the test, you can become an official and receive a salary.

He was twenty-nine years old when he passed the Jinshi examination.

"The youngest among the seventeen people at the inscription under Ci'en Pagoda" records his excitement and pride at that time.

The small fire that was awarded the official position burned even more blazingly.

He is so passionate! He naively fantasized about using his poems as swords and guns to change the world and realize the wish of reviving the Tang Dynasty!

He thought that as long as he had enough talent and enthusiasm, he would be able to realize his ambition.

But before he had time to fully display his talents and enthusiasm, he was stabbed and injured by his political opponents with ulterior motives using his swords and guns.

At that time, he had just lost his dependent mother, and his beloved daughter had just died.

However, Emperor Xianzong of the Tang Dynasty, for whom he had high hopes, actually listened to the slander and demoted him to the position of governor of Jiangzhou, and within one day, he was demoted to Sima of Jiangzhou.

Being just the mayor’s secretary, what a painful blow this was to Bai Juyi, who was full of ambitions to serve the country?

Who will understand his inner resentment, pain and loneliness?

If a person's life has never been burning, he will never understand the feeling of a dead heart.

He did not expect that he would meet the Pipa Girl in this remote place.

2.

Everyone calls her "Business Woman" or "Pipa Girl", but no one knows that her original name is Pei Xingnu.

She vaguely remembered that when she was very young, she and her parents set out from the vast prairie and walked a long way to the capital city of Chang'an.

She likes the prosperity here, and even more likes the group of customers who drink in the wine shop owned by her parents to praise her for her beauty.

They called her "Hu Nu", and she also knew that her white skin, slightly curly hair, tall nose, and jasper-like eyes were different from those of the Han people here.

She quickly took advantage of their laughter and boldly asked them a question that neither her parents could answer: "Why does this place have such a weird name as 'Xia Tongling'? Here I come. How come you haven’t seen a toad for so long?”

The people burst out laughing, and then explained to her:

“There was a very famous man in the Han Dynasty. Dong Zhongshu, a master of Confucian classics, was buried here. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty respected him very much and had to dismount his horse every time he passed by his tomb. From now on, this place is called "Xia Ma Mausoleum" because you Hu people can't understand the Chang'an dialect, so it is called "Xia Ma Mausoleum". "Toad Tomb", what does it have to do with where there are toads?"

Then these people began to talk about topics that she was not interested in, such as where the war was going on, which vassal governor wanted to rebel again, If there were any talk of party disputes, eunuchs, etc., she would run away and stop listening.

She had a handful of very strange things at home, like a half-cut pear with four lines on it. She often saw her mother fiddle with the four lines with her fingers, and they would make a very clear and sweet sound. .

My mother told her: This is an instrument called pipa, and the four lines on it are called strings.

She asked her mother again: "Why should it be called 'Pipa' instead of some other name?" Her mother could not answer.

But she later learned the answer, which was told to her by her master Cao Gang.

The word "Pipa" has two "yu" characters on it, which means the sweet clinking sound produced by the collision of two jade stones. The word "bi" under the word "琵" refers to the way these strings are arranged side by side, and the word "ba" under the word "琶" refers to the way the strings are attached to the player's body. "

Yes, the pipa really has to be played in your arms. It is completely different from the zither played in the Central Plains, and the sound is so clear and crisp, it really sounds good!

However, this little girl who always likes to ask why did not cheer as she did when she learned the answer to "Xiao Toad". Her father was captured to be a young man, and her mother followed her to cook in the military camp. As soon as they left, there was no news. .

Her concubine, the aunt who had loved her since she was a child, had no choice but to send her to a pipa school, while she lived with her brother at home.

She soon became the number one sister in the school with her beauty and talents.

Young people don’t know what it’s like to be sad. How could she know that even though she was excellent in sex and art, she was still a lowly geisha?

How did she know how many jewels the rich second generation in Kyoto had broken for her and (hè)pai, how much wine they had spilled and how many clothes they had soiled during the drinking ceremony? How did she know that those people who were vying to give her gifts and were jealous of her were just because of her beauty and did not really love her? How did she know that she would gradually fade away from the prime of life at the age of thirteen, and that all prosperity would be just a fleeting and beautiful phantom?

She only knows that "this year's laughter will return to the next, and the autumn moon and spring breeze will be spent easily."

Just like this, she wasted her youth in the feasting and muddle-headed way. Until she heard the news that her aunt was dead and her brother had joined the army, she suddenly realized that she had no relatives in this world. .

She was once the center of attention, but in the end she couldn't escape the ending of "being neglected and sparse in front of the door", so she hastily found a businessman to marry. As long as you have a home and a place to settle down, that's fine.

And her home is on this boat. She was just an outhouse of a merchant. Her husband would get a tea-selling pass from Chang'an every month. He passed by Jiangzhou and spent two days with her, and then went to Fuliang (now Jingdezhen, Jiangxi) to sell tea. Return to Chang'an by water and sell.

All she can do is stay on this boat, waiting, remembering, and killing time.

3

On this night in 816, the Xunyang River was extremely cold.

Autumn is a season that makes people feel sad. How can the word "sorrow" be used in the "heart" of "autumn"!

Seeing the increasingly pale moon soaked in the river water, and the white dill flowers tinging the night with a hint of coolness, she suddenly felt panic and helplessness in her heart, but she did not Knowing what she should do, her destiny is not up to her.

She really wanted someone to talk to, just to talk, but she couldn't find one.

Her husband just gave her some money from his business to live on, and then got some comfort from her for the loneliness of his business career. How had he ever listened carefully to what she said?

Out of boredom, she picked up the pipa that had always been with her and started playing it.

Loneliness is like a black water lily in the dark night, spreading to its heart's content in the endless black.

She didn’t know that someone on the river actually heard the sound of her pipa, and she didn’t know that someone among the people listening actually understood the loneliness in her heart. This little musical instrument was held in her arms. , just relying on its four strings, you can express your thoughts.

She heard someone outside the boat asking, who was playing the pipa?

She said nothing. Tonight, she played only for herself.

Loneliness is a person’s carnival.

But the man didn't seem to want to give up. He seemed eager to hear her play the pipa.

He whispered outside the boat that he was going to send a friend to a distant place. He was from Chang'an, and when he heard the pipa music she played was old music from Chang'an, he felt very cordial and wanted to invite her to play it for friends, and he would pay her accordingly.

She hesitated.

She is no longer the geisha she used to be. Considering her status, how can she just play for a stranger?

But that person did not intend to give up. He repeatedly said that he really liked listening to pipa playing. Besides, it was a pity that there was no music at the banquet to bid farewell to his friends!

That’s all, just think of it as making up for a regret for him!

She heard people outside happily saying that they wanted to reopen the table. However, after all, I am already in my thirties. How can I compare with the thirteen-year-old me?

How could she, a down-and-out person like herself, be as high-spirited as she was back then?

There was already urging from the other side, so she had no choice but to come outside of the ship with Pipa in her arms and her face half-covered, which had already been marked by the vicissitudes of time.

The moon has risen a bit, but it is still so cold and pale, without any warmth.

She gently plucked the strings, what song was she playing?

After frowning slightly, let's play "Nancy Clothes and Feather Clothes Song". That piece was composed by Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty, and Yang Guifei's "Nancy Clothes and Feather Clothes Dance" was also very popular. If people from other places don't listen to this piece of music in the church, their trip to Chang'an is in vain.

She twirled it lightly and slowly, and the sound of the pipa tinkled, very much like the sound of jade beads hitting each other, and also very much like the crisp giggle of her thirteen-year-old self.

Suddenly the sound of the pipa became passionate, sometimes urgent and sometimes soothing, just like the sound of the jewelry she wore on her head falling apart and falling on a jade plate. What a nostalgic time in her life that was!

However, fate prevented her from receiving much favor from her parents, and even the simplest happiness had to be taken away from her.

Her thoughts were sometimes happy and sometimes sad, and the sound of the pipa was sometimes like the happy chirping of an oriole under the flowers, and sometimes like the whimpering of the water under the ice spring.

Her fingers were stroking and picking at the strings, and she was immersed in painful and happy memories and couldn't extricate herself.

Thinking of now, living on a boat all year round, the whole meaning of her life is to survive, but there is no one to talk to, her heart feels like being gnawed by a snake, and finally stops. down.

She looked up and found that in addition to the two guests who invited her to play, she was surrounded by many boats. These people who had never heard such beautiful music were in such an uninvited The night I came, I enjoyed a pipa concert with my ears.

Silence is better than sound at this time.

She took a deep breath and looked around at the expectant eyes.

Well, tonight, let the sparkling Xunyang River be her stage, let the autumn moon in the sky be her light, and express your inner loneliness to your heart's content!

"Six Yao" was the most difficult song that her master taught her. Not to mention in this remote Jiangzhou, even in Chang'an, this was her finale.

Let her have another party!

So, we can see the figure of a woman holding a pipa at that concert thousands of years ago. Her expression was solemn and her fingers were flying on the pipa.

Applause and cheers came from the surrounding ships, but she couldn't hear them.

She completely forgot everything around her. She tried her best to play this piece of music. She was treating this concert with her life.

Perhaps, she will never have such an opportunity again in her future life, and someone will come to appreciate her favorite pipa music.

The excited sound was like a silver bottle being broken and water flowing out, or like soldiers clashing with swords and guns fiercely on the battlefield.

This heart-stopping sound passed through the eardrums of everyone present, through the dill flowers blowing in the wind beside the boat, through the shimmering river, through the bright moon above our heads, and through thousands of years. Time and space allow the ears of those of us who come later to enjoy this unprecedented auditory feast (tāo) and tiè (tiè) in history.

Suddenly, she put away the plectrum and struck hard in the center of the pipa groove. The four strings sounded in unison, like a piece of cloth being torn, and then stopped suddenly.

There was no applause or cheers. It was still cold on the Xunyang River, and the boats in the east and west were silent. Everyone was intoxicated by the lingering sound. Looking from a distance, they saw the autumn moon in the center of the river quietly overlooking everything.

Loneliness is a person’s carnival. Carnival is also another person’s loneliness.

4

The Pipa girl burst into tears at some point.

Realizing that she had lost her composure, she stretched out her hand to wipe away her tears and explained sheepishly that she was just remembering the past.

She didn’t know why she told him her life experience. Maybe she was from the capital? Or is it because he understands her music? How shameful that she would confide her feelings to a stranger! But she did.

And after she finished speaking, she felt indescribably relaxed inside.

No matter what, whether he understands or not, we won’t see each other again after tonight. Just like the river flowing eastward, the river tomorrow will no longer be the river tonight.

What I didn’t expect was that after listening to her words, this person sighed deeply and said:

“Can you please play another song for us? I don’t want to Listen to the famous "Nishang Yuyi Song", and I won't listen to "Liu Yao". You can just play your favorite song."

She was stunned for a moment, and then started playing. . She didn't have any playing skills, and she didn't even know what piece she was playing.

She thought about the guest saying that he had been in this remote Xunyang City for more than a year. As a northerner, it was difficult to adapt to the humid and hot southern climate, and he soon fell ill.

She also thought that he said with a self-deprecating smile that since he had been here for so long, he could only hear the sound of flutes and folk songs in the village, and he had not heard such music like fairy music for a long time.

A once talented and beautiful artist who was "unsatisfied", and a once all-powerful poet who was "unambitious", they both had years of burning passion. But now, abandoned by time and society, the same people have fallen to the end of the world, the same heart is as gray as death, and the same desolation and loneliness.

She cried silently because she did not expect that there would be such a corner in this world where someone understood her;

His blue shirt was wet with tears because there was someone in this world. With a pipa song, he pried open his long-closed heart, letting him see that there is still a trace of warmth left for him in this world.

Unable to suppress the turbulent excitement in his heart, he picked up paper and pen and wrote the ever-famous "Pipa Play" in one breath.

Neither Bai Juyi nor Pipa Girl thought that the people of Jiangzhou would build a Pipa Pavilion to commemorate this great encounter.

They would not have thought that when many people are homeless and lonely, when they meet someone who can resonate with them, they will all think of that sentence:

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We are both fallen people at the end of the world, so why should we have known each other before meeting.

Thanks for this great encounter, and thanks to Bai Juyi for leaving us such a poem.

Even if Bai Juyi only left this poem, he is still a great poet full of humanistic care, because he makes us believe that no matter how cold the world is, it will always leave a touch of warmth for us. .

It makes us believe that no matter what happens to us, there is always a corner in this world -

Someone understands you.

Pipa Travel

In the tenth year of Yuanhe, he moved to the left to Sima, Jiujiang County. Next autumn, while seeing off guests at Penpukou, I heard someone playing the pipa in the boat at night. Listening to the sound, there was a clanging sound from Kyoto. When asked about her, she was originally a prostitute from Chang'an. She tried to learn pipa from Mu and Cao, two talented people. She was old and beautiful, and she committed herself to being a wife of a Jia (gǔ) woman. Then he ordered wine and asked him to play several songs quickly. The song ended with pity, and he recounted the joyful things in his childhood. Now he is drifting and haggard, wandering among the rivers and lakes. I have been in office for two years, and I am peaceful and contented. Thanks to the words of others, I began to feel the intention of relegation in the evening. Because of the long sentences, I gave them a song, with six hundred and sixteen words, named "Pipa Xing".

The Xunyang River sees off guests on the first night, and the maple leaves and flowers rustle in autumn.

The master dismounted and the passengers were on the boat. He wanted to drink wine without orchestra.

When we are too drunk, we will say goodbye miserably. When we say goodbye, the vast river is soaked in the moon.

Suddenly I heard the sound of pipa playing on the water, and the host forgot to return home.

Who is asking secretly? The sound of the pipa stopped and it was too late to speak.

Move the boat closer to invite each other, add wine, turn back the lights, and resume the banquet.

After being called out for a long time, he came out, still holding the pipa and half covering his face.

The three or two sounds of the strings being plucked by the rotating shaft, there is emotion before the tune is formed.

The strings muffle the sounds and thoughts, as if complaining of failure in life.

The formalities of the letter with a low eyebrow are continued, and the infinite things in the heart are said.

Lightly gathered, slowly twisted, wiped and picked again, first "Neon Shang" and then "Liu Yao".

The big strings are noisy like the rain, and the small strings are like whispers.

Noisy and jumbled bullets, big and small beads falling onto the jade plate.

The orioles in Guan Guan are talking about the slippery bottom of the flowers, and it is difficult to go under the ice of Youyan Spring.

The ice spring is cold and the strings are condensed, and the condensation will never pass through the sound.

Don’t be sad and resentful. Silence is better than sound at this time.

The silver bottle bursts into water, and the cavalry stands out with swords and guns.

At the end of the song, the plucked strings are carefully drawn, and the four strings sound like cracking silk.

The boats in the east and west were silent, except for the white autumn moon in the middle of the river.

While he was chanting and plucking the strings, he straightened his clothes and tightened his features.

She said that she was originally a girl from the capital city, and her family lived under the tomb of shrimp (há).

On the 13th, he learned the pipa successfully and became the first member of the teaching group.

Qu Ba once taught talented people how to dress well, and Qiu Niang was always jealous of her makeup.

The young people in Wuling are struggling with their heads, and they can’t count the number of red silk songs.

The silver grate on the diàn head was smashed into pieces, and the bloody skirt was stained by wine.

This year’s laughter will return to next year’s, and the autumn moon and spring breeze will pass easily.

My brother left to join the army and my aunt died.

There are few horses and pommels in front of the door, and the boss is married to a businessman.

Businessmen value profits over separation. The month before last, they went to Fuliang to buy tea.

I kept an empty boat at the mouth of the river, and around the boat the moon was bright and the river was cold.

Late at night, I suddenly dreamed about my youth. I cried and cried, and my eyes were red with tears.

I sighed when I heard the pipa playing, and sighed again when I heard the words.

We are both fallen people in the world, so why should we have known each other before?

I resigned from the Imperial Capital last year and was relegated to Xunyang City where I was sick.

There is no music in the remote place of Xunyang, and the sound of silk and bamboo is not heard all year round.

I live in a low-humidity area near the Basin River, and yellow reeds and bitter bamboos grow around my house.

What did you hear during the day and night? The cuckoo cries and the blood ape moans.

On a spring river with flowers and an autumn moonlit night, I often drink wine alone.

Are there no folk songs and village flutes? It's hard to listen to the vomiting and muttering.

Tonight I hear your pipa music, and my ears suddenly become clear as if I were listening to fairy music.

Mo Cigen sat down to play a song and translated it for you, "Pipa Xing".

I feel like I have been saying this for a long time, but sitting down makes the strings turn sharply.

The sound is not as sad as the forward sound, and everyone in the house is crying after hearing it again.

Who among the audience cried the most? Jiangzhou Sima's green shirt is wet.