1. Classic classical Chinese funny sentences

1. Chirp again chirp, Mulan flies a plane, what kind of plane is she flying, Boeing 747.

2. I am from He resigned from Beijing last year and was relegated to Tokyo where he was sick. Tokyo was a remote place with no music, and he never heard of Sima Guang throughout his life.

3. Money is what I want; beauty is what I want too. You can't have both, just give up money for beauty.

4. If you don’t leave me here, I will leave you somewhere. If you don’t leave me everywhere, I will go to the railway.

5. I have many diseases and cannot survive at the age of nine. Lonely and lonely, as for the founding of New China. There are no handsome men, but there are always beautiful women. If the door is weak and the gate is weak, there will be rest in the evening.

6. Liu Suying’s illness is always in heaven. Chen Shiwei Decoction has not expired.

7. I love Rejoice in the Holy Dynasty; Li Kui, the former prefect, loves Lafang even more. Later, Leslie Cheung, the governor, promoted ministers and servants.

8. The edict is strict and the official Ultraman is responsible. People all over the universe are forcing him to hang himself. I had no choice but to obey.

9. A minister without a grandmother can live a hundred years; a minister without a grandmother can live a thousand years. Mother and grandson are incomparable to a turtle.

10. Chen Mi is twenty-two this year, and grandma is ninety-nine this year. Please forgive me for the personal relationship. 2. Mentioning Laozi’s classical Chinese works

"Historical Records·Zhuangzhou Biography" says: "His learning is all-encompassing, but it must be traced back to Laozi's words. ... As a fisherman, a thief, To destroy Confucius' disciples and to show Laozi's skills."

"Historical Records: The Third Biography of Laozi and Han Fei" (Excerpt)

Laozi is the leader of Chuku County. He was from Renli in Xiangqu, his surname was Li, his given name was Er, and his courtesy name was Dan.

Confucius was suitable for Zhou and asked Laozi for courtesy. Laozi said: "What the Master said, his body and bones are all rotten, but his words are only in his ears. And a gentleman will drive when he has the right time, but when he doesn't get the right time, he will travel tiredly. I heard that a good gentleman is hidden deep in his heart. "Xiu, a gentleman is virtuous, but his appearance is like a fool. Getting rid of his arrogance, lust, appearance, and lustful ambitions are all of no benefit to his body. The reason why I tell you is this." Confucius went and said to his disciples: "Bird." , I know that it can fly; I know that the fish can swim; I know that the beast can walk. I know that it can walk, it can swim, it can fly, and it can fly. As for the dragon, I don't know, it rides on the wind and clouds. God. I see Lao Tzu today, and he is like a dragon!"

Lao Tzu cultivates morality, and his main task is to hide himself in obscurity. After living in Zhouzhi for a long time, he saw the decline of Zhouzhi, so he left. At the end of the pass, Guan Ling Yinxi said: "You are about to hide, so you forced me to write a book." So I wrote the first and second chapters of the book, saying more than five thousand words about morality, and left without knowing where it ended.

It may be said: Lao Laizi was also from Chu. He wrote fifteen chapters on the use of Taoism, which was written at the same time as Confucius. For example, Lao Tzu is more than sixty years old, or more than two hundred years old, and he maintains his longevity by cultivating Taoism.

One hundred and twenty-nine years after the death of Confucius, the Grand Historian of the Zhou Dynasty met Qin Xiangong and said: "The first Qin and the Zhou Dynasty separated when they were five hundred years old, and when they were seventy years old, the overlord came out. "It may be said that Dan is Lao Tzu, or it may be said that it is not true. No one in the world knows whether it is true or not." I am a hidden gentleman.

Laozi’s son was named Zong, who was a Wei general and was granted the title of Duan Qian. The eldest son notes, the uterus, the great-great-grandson of the palace fakes, and pretends to be an official in Han Dynasty Emperor Xiaowen. The false son is understood to be Taifu Wang Yan of Jiaoxi, because his family is in Qiyan.

Those who study Laozi in the world are inferior to Confucianism, and Confucianism is inferior to Laozi. "If people have different paths, they will not conspire against each other." Doesn't that mean it's evil? Li Er is self-transformed by inaction, quiet and self-righteous. 3. The ancient text "Laozi"

The Tao can be Tao, but it is not Tao. Famous, very famous.

The nameless beginning of heaven and earth; the named mother of all things.

Therefore, if there is always nothing, I want to observe its wonderfulness; if there is always something, I want to observe its beauty.

The two have the same origin but different names, and they are both called xuan. Mysterious and mysterious, the door to all mysteries.

Everyone in the world knows that beauty is beauty, but this is evil. Everyone knows that good is good, but this is not good.

Being and non-being come into being, difficulty and ease complement each other, long and short complement each other, high and low complement each other, sounds harmonize with each other, and front and rear follow each other.

Follow each other. Heng Ye.

This is because the sage does nothing and teaches without saying anything; everything is done without beginning, born without being.

Doing without relying on it, and accomplishing without dwelling on it. I feel like I have no place to live, so I won’t go.

If you don’t respect the virtuous, the people will not fight; if you don’t value hard-to-find goods, the people will not steal; if you don’t see the desirable,

the people will not be confused.

This is the rule of the sage: empty his heart, strengthen his belly, weaken his will, and strengthen his bones. It often makes people ignorant

and have no desires. A wise man would not dare to do anything. If you do nothing, everything will be cured.

The road is in conflict, but it may not be profitable if you use it. Yuanxi, like the ancestor of all things; Zhanxi, like or existence. I don't

know whose son is the first of Emperor Xiang.

The heaven and the earth are unkind and regard all things as stupid dogs; the saints are unkind and regard the common people as stupid dogs.

Between heaven and earth, is it still like a chariot? If it is empty but not yielding, it will get better when it moves.

It is better to stay focused than to talk too much.

The God of Grain is immortal and is called the mysterious female. The gate of Xuanfei is called the root of heaven and earth. If it lasts, use it

without diligence.

Forever. The reason why heaven and earth can be long-lasting is because they do not generate themselves, so they can live forever.

This means that the saint follows his body and comes first; his body exists outside his body. Isn’t it because of his selflessness? So it can be

private.

The best is like water. Water is good for all things and does not compete with it. It is disliked by everyone, so it is close to the Tao.

Live in a good place, have a good heart, be kind and benevolent, speak good faith, govern well, do good things, and act at the right time.

Husbands don’t fight, so there is no need for you.

If you hold on to it and gain it, it will not be as good as before;

If you hold on to it and make it sharp, it will not last long.

The palace is full of gold and jade, but no one can guard it;

If you are proud of your wealth, you will bring your own fault.

It is the way of heaven to retreat after one's merits.

If we hold each other in the arms of Zai Ying, can we be inseparable?

Is it possible to be as soft as a baby if you focus on your Qi?

Is it possible to remove the mysterious mirror like a flaw?

How can we do nothing if we love the country and govern the people?

If the gate of heaven is open and closed, can it be a female?

If you understand Sida, how can you be ignorant? 4. Classical Chinese and translations written by Laozi

Chapter 3 of "Laozi" If you don't respect the virtuous, the people will not fight; if you don't value the hard-to-find goods, the people will not steal; if you don't see what is desirable, the people will not be confused.

This is the rule of the sage: empty his heart, strengthen his belly, weaken his will, and strengthen his bones. It often makes people ignorant and desireless.

A wise man would not dare to do anything. If you do nothing, everything will be cured.

Translation: Not advocating talents and talents, so that people will not show off their skills and compete for fame and fortune. Do not value rare and valuable things, so that people will not become thieves.

Do not reveal things that can arouse greed, so that people's minds will not be disturbed. Therefore, the principle of the sage in governing the world is: to discard all kinds of prejudices that fill the people's hearts, to meet the people's needs for food and clothing, to soften the people's stubborn pursuits, and to improve the people's self-reliance and self-sufficiency.

It usually prevents people from clinging to prejudices and greed, so that those "wise men" dare not do whatever they want. Comprehensive governance can be achieved by engaging in the act of becoming nothing.

Chapter 4 of "Laozi" The Tao is in conflict, but it may not be enough to use it. Yuanxi, like the ancestor of all things; Zhanxi, like or existence.

I don’t know whose son is the first of Emperor Xiang. Translation Tao is empty, but its functions seem to be endless.

It is so profound and unpredictable, like the origin of all existence. It softens the sharp edges, resolves disputes, softens the light, and blends in with the world.

It is invisible and traceless, like a very uncertain existence. I don't know if there is any more original existence above it. I just feel that it existed before the Emperor of Heaven.

Chapter 5 of "Laozi" The heaven and the earth are unkind and regard all things as stupid dogs; the saints are unkind and regard the common people as stupid dogs. Between heaven and earth, is it still like a quarrel? If it is empty but not yielding, it will get better when it moves.

It is better to stay focused than to talk too much. Translation: Heaven and earth have no regard for benevolence, and treat all things as "rubber dogs"; the sage does not insist on benevolence, and treats the common people as "rubber dogs."

Between heaven and earth, isn’t it just like a big empty bubble like an air bag or an empty tube? Although it is empty, it will not collapse, and life and transformation continue during its operation. Working diligently on your reputation often doesn't work. It's better to stay empty and let nature take its course.

Chapter 6 of "Laozi" The God of Grain is immortal and is called the mysterious female. The gate of Xuanfei is called the root of heaven and earth.

It is as long as it is kept, but it is not used diligently. Translation: The False God exists forever, and can be called the incomparably deep source of reproduction.

The doorway to this extremely deep source of reproduction is the foundation of this world. It exists continuously and vaguely, and its functions are endless.

Chapter 7 of "Laozi" Eternal Life. The reason why heaven and earth can be long-lasting is because they do not generate themselves, so they can live forever.

This means that the saint comes first after his body; Isn’t it because of his selflessness? Therefore, it can be done privately.

Translation Forever and ever. The reason why the heaven and the earth can last forever is because they do not insist on maintaining a situation that is necessary for them, so they can last long.

Therefore, the saint put his own personal interests behind and became the leader of the crowd; he put his own wealth and life aside, but better protected his own wealth and life. Isn't it because he doesn't care about himself? In this way, he can achieve himself better.

Chapter 8 of "Laozi" The best goodness is like water. Water is good for all things and does not compete with it. It is disliked by everyone, so it is close to the Tao.

Live in a good place, have a good heart, be kind and benevolent, speak good faith, govern well, do good things, and act at good times. The husband does not fight, so there is no need for you.

Translation Good examples of behavior are like water. Water is good at guiding all things without competing with them. It stays in low places that no one wants to be in, so it is close to Tao.

Water, good at choosing the right place to live, deep and clear intentions, harmonious and close friendships, words and deeds consistent, easy to be quiet and peaceful in public relations, capable of doing things, good at taking actions when the situation arises Go with the flow. Just because water always benefits all things without competing with it, it rarely suffers from mistakes.

Chapter 9 of "Laozi" If you hold on to the surplus, it will not be as good as it is; if you hold on to it and sharpen it, it will not last long. A house full of gold and jade cannot be guarded; if one is rich and arrogant, he will bring his own fault.

It is the way of heaven to retreat after one's merits. Translation: Holding on to fullness is worse than stopping when enough is enough.

It’s hard to stay sharp for a long time. The house is full of gold and jade, who can keep it hidden? Being rich and arrogant will lead to disaster.

Retire after success is the most important code of conduct that should be followed. Chapter 10 of "Laozi" If Zaiying Po embraces one, can we be inseparable? Is it possible to be as soft as a baby if you focus on your Qi? Is it possible to cleanse away the mysterious mirror and treat it like a flaw? To love the country and govern the people, can we do nothing? If the heavenly gate is open and closed, can it be considered a female? If you understand Sida, how can you be ignorant? Translation: Is it possible to maintain the harmony and unity of soul and body without disintegration? Is it possible to be as gentle and easy-going as a baby with a harmonious temperament? Can the deep and clear self be free from any flaws? Can we love the people and govern the country without being obsessed with fame and let nature take its course? In the cycle of performing one's work and then retreating after one's achievements, can one be like a female? If we understand the Tao and "illuminate" in all fields, can we "borrow the light" from explicit academic prejudices? Give birth to it, raise it, give birth to it without being bound to it, do not rely on it for what it has achieved, and do not dominate it even though it has higher qualifications and powers. This is called "Xuande" that is infinitely profound in the Tao. . 5. Humorous classical Chinese essays

Shishuoxinyu Xie Taifu Hanxue gathered in Beijing to discuss the meaning of literature with his children.

Suddenly it snowed suddenly, and the father-in-law said happily, "What does the white snow look like?" Hu'er, the brother, said, "The difference can be made by spreading salt in the air." The brother and daughter said, "It's not like catkins blowing up due to the wind."

"The public laughed happily. The catkins of spring are used as a metaphor for the white snow of winter... You are an old woman now that you are old. If I had not left you to take care of you, you would have to say no less than two or three sentences about me closing my eyes and taking a nap today.

Anger, those who take a nap are not just me, why should I point it out? What's more, I haven't lost my mind yet, so I am unjustly accused. What can you do? If they are really capable, why are there more than half of the students lying on the desk? There are at least six out of ten people who dislike you. Are you kind? The number can be seen.

If you don’t take responsibility for the past, what happened today is abominable and makes me angry. Mother, sincerely my mother is not happy.

Meat Stealing A certain person went to the capital to sell meat. He stopped to relieve himself in front of a toilet on the roadside and hung the meat outside. Seeing this, Person B quickly stole the meat.

Before he could go far, A had already walked out of the toilet, grabbed B, and asked B if he saw someone taking his meat from the toilet. Fearing that A would see through, B had already held the meat in his mouth, and said impatiently: "You are such a fool! How could you hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you were like me, holding the meat in your mouth, how could you The Lost Principle?" - Wei Handan Chun's "Laughing Forest" Name Game Xu Zhicai, King of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was very eloquent, especially good at word games.

Before he was crowned king, he tried to play with Wang Yuanjing, the minister of state. Wang Yuanjing laughed at Xu Zhicai's name and said: "Your name is 'Zhicai', what's the point? In my opinion, it's better to call it 'Wucai'."

After hearing this, Xu Zhicai was displeased. Angry and not angry, he immediately mocked Wang Yuanjing's surname: "The word '王', with the word '王' added to the left, becomes 'sheep'." "Wang Yuanjing was speechless after hearing this, feeling extremely embarrassed.

Another time, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was also present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming teased Xu Zhicai's surname: "The character 'Xu' means Weiruren ("Wei" plus "彳" and "Ru")."

Xu Zhicai immediately mocked Yuanming's surname. Surname - "Lu" (traditional "Lu") character: "The character 'Lu', when An'ah Yinzhen gave birth to a boy, it becomes 'Lu' ()', and when paired with '马' (horse), it becomes 'Donkey' ( Donkey)." Lu Yuanming's words turned red and speechless, and everyone in the audience burst into laughter.

——The old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and Calf Hou Bai later became an official in the Tang Dynasty, and often guessed riddles with people. Hou Bai first made three chapters of rules for everyone: "What you guessed The object, firstly, must be a real thing that can be seen; secondly, it cannot be used as a false explanation to confuse everyone; thirdly, if the object cannot be seen after the explanation, you should be punished." Then he first revealed the riddle: "The back is the same as the house. Big, the belly is as big as the pillow (the crossbar on the back of the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup."

Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed it right. They all said, "Where in the world is there a mouth as big as a cup?" But there must be something as big as a house? You have to make a bet with us all." After making the bet, Hou Bai explained: "This is a swallow's nest."

Everyone burst into laughter. Another time, Hou Bai attended a large banquet.

During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for fun. The guessed things should neither be strange and difficult to recognize nor abstract and unrealistic.

Hou Bai responded and said: "There is something as big as a dog and very much like a cow. What is it?" Everyone kept guessing. Some said it was a deer, some said it was a deer. But they were all rejected by everyone.

Then let Hou Bai tell the answer. Hou Bai laughed loudly and said: "This is a calf."

——Old title of Sui Dynasty Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" He Zhizhang begged for Tianbao in the early years of Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty. He Zhizhang, a well-known secretary, supervised , wrote to the imperial court, wishing to retire and become an official and return to his hometown of Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated him differently from others.

He Zhizhang couldn't help crying when he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong before leaving. Tang Xuanzong asked him what else he wanted.

Zhizhang said: "I Zhizhang has a dog that has not yet been named. If your majesty gives it a name, it will be an honor for me to return home." p>

Qing's son should be named Fu. "Zhizhang expressed his gratitude for the appointment.

After a long time, Zhizhang realized something unexpectedly and thought to himself: "The emperor is making fun of me too much. I am from Wu, and the word 'Fu' is the word 'Zhao' plus the word 'Zi' .

He named my son "Fu". Doesn't he call my son "paw"? " ——Gao Yi, Song Dynasty, "Living in Groups" I don't know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to compose poetry. One day, Ai Zi wandered between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel.

At night, he heard his neighbor Someone in the room said: "One song. "After a while, he said: "Another song. "

Ai Zi was inexplicable. He felt no sleepiness at all and had no sleep all night. Lying until dawn, *** heard the man in the next door say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs.

Ai Zi thought that the man in the neighboring room must be a poet. He was concentrating on reciting poems in the quiet moonlit night. He felt respected in his heart, and he loved the man's quick thinking, so he decided to get acquainted with him early in the morning. Ai Zi got out of bed, straightened her headband, and stood at the door to greet her.

After a while, a man who looked like a merchant came out of the neighboring room. He was thin and looked sick. I thought: With this appearance, how could he look like a poet? Perhaps, one cannot judge blindly based on appearance.

Then he stepped forward and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems. Can you please do that?" Let the students take a look. The man said, "I am a businessman and I never know what poetry is." "

He always refused to come up with poems. Ai Zi said stubbornly: "Last night I heard you saying 'one piece' in the house, and then saying 'one piece' again after a while. Isn't that a poem? ? After hearing this, the man burst out laughing and said, "You misunderstood."

I had a bad stomach last night. Every time I had diarrhea, I couldn’t find toilet paper at night, so I wiped it with my hands. I had diarrhea all night and soiled my hands almost six or seven times.

The ‘hand’ I am talking about is not the ‘head’ of the psalm. "Ai Zi was so ashamed after hearing this.

——Old title of Song Su Shi's "Ai Zi Miscellanies" Word Game Su Dongpo heard that Wang Jinggong's "Zi Shuo" had just been completed, so he went to Jinggong to congratulate him and said Jokingly said: "It is said in the masterpiece that 'bamboo' and 'horse' are used as 'du'." But I still have a question: "I don't know how to use 'bamboo' to whip' dogs, so what's so 'laughable'?" Jing Gong laughed and didn't answer, but asked instead: "The word 'dove' is 'jiu' Cong." Birds, is there any evidence?" Dongpo immediately replied: "The Book of Songs says: 'The dead dove is in the mulberry tree, and its sons are seven.' Including their parents, there are exactly nine." 6. Funny.的古文

Speechless, alone in the bar, the lights are dim, lonely, the crowd is pouring wine late at night, I can’t finish drinking, I’m still drunk, especially with the smell of wine in my heart 1.__________, I feel haggard for Yixiao. The classmate answers: Take off your clothes. I won’t regret it even if I take off my belt (the correct interpretation is “I won’t regret it as my belt gets wider.” I occasionally admit that this is a problem with my thinking) 2. When I asked him where he could find such clarity, the __________ student answered: There is a clear spring in my heart (the correct interpretation is “Only a clear spring exists in my heart”) "The living water comes from the source", we are still a little bit attached to the water~~~) 3. When *** cut the candle from the west window, __________ The classmate answered: The couple sat together until dawn (the Chinese teacher fainted with laughter while marking the papers.

Later, when I mentioned this in class, I fainted again! The correct interpretation is "but when it rains at night in Bashan") 4. The cricket shook the big tree, __________ student answered: motionless (the correct interpretation is "ridiculous and overconfident".

Motionless, illustrious, very consistent with the facts) 5. The beauty of a gentleman as an adult, __________ student’s answer: The villain takes away the love of others. Poetry answer for the exam 6. If you are poor, you will be alone, __________ student’s answer: If you are rich, you will have a group of wives and concubines (correct answer: 7. __________, who in the world doesn’t recognize you? Student’s answer: As long as he looks like Saddam 9. He has a colorful phoenix with two flying wings, __________’s student’s answer: A plucked phoenix is ??not as good as a chicken. Also: The husband and wife both return home. (The correct interpretation is "there is a clear understanding between the two minds") 10. The sun rises in the east and rains in the west, __________ students answer: fight at the end of the bed, get married at the end of the bed, and also: get into the wrong sedan chair and marry the right man 11. __________, the wife of a wretched man does not stay in the house. Classmate answer: get married. Husband doesn’t go to bed 12. I wish you a long life, __________ classmate’s answer: a heart that will last forever (I laughed wildly at the time, but now I think it’s quite classic.

The correct interpretation is “Chan Juan, a thousand miles away”) 13. Xisai Mountain Before the egrets fly, __________ classmate answers: The turtle crawls along the river in East Village (that’s right) 14. I advise God to cheer up, __________ classmate answers: God roars at me three times (the correct interpretation is “to demote talented people in an eclectic way”, Gong Zizhen) 15. I am born with talents that must be useful, __________ A classmate answered: He showed his magical powers at critical moments. Another classmate answered: A mouse’s son can dig holes (the Chinese teachers in the entire office laughed wildly without any image) 16. If the sky is affectionate, the sky will also grow old. __________ Student’s answer: If you are not romantic, you will waste your youth! (The correct interpretation is "If there is no hatred for the moon, the moon will be round" Li He's "The Golden Bronze Immortal's Song of Han Dynasty") 17. Relatives and friends in Luoyang asked each other, __________ classmate replied: Please don't tell him (the correct interpretation is "A heart of ice is in a jade pot") 18. There is a couplet in the final exam. The first couplet is a hero's sword. The second couplet that a third-year junior high school student paired is: My mother is rich and charming. 19. Good medicine is bitter and good for the disease. __________ The student answered: He is a fool if he doesn't take it. Since ancient times, no one has died. __________ Student’s answer: It’s just that people die in sequence 20. There is bright moonlight in front of the bed, __________ Student’s answer: Li Bai’s sleep is sweet , Flying into the homes of ordinary people. Classmate’s answer: Konka Caiba TV 23. Grape wine luminous cup, __________ Classmate’s answer: Lots of money and beauties 24. __________, Pedestrians on the road want to die, the masterpiece of a first-year junior high school student: Ghost knocking on the door in the middle of the night 25 .There was another test on Tao Yuanming's "I can't bend my waist for five buckets of rice." The classmate answered "Just give me six buckets of rice."... 26. Lao Wu Lao and the old man, __________ The classmate answered: Wife, my wife, and man's wife ( When the teacher later graded the paper, he said that the classmate was particularly dedicated, haha) 27. I remember back then, when we were strong and powerful, __________ students answered: Look at today, they are stalking each other (the correct interpretation is "to swallow thousands of miles like a tiger") 28. A fifth-grade student I got "Three Stooges, __________" in one exam. The students replied: The smells are all the same (which made the invigilator and the principal outside laugh). A student in the first grade of junior high school said to the couple, "Climb the city and take in the scenery of the mountains among the white clouds. __________" The classmate answered: I went to the hotel to hug the lady to bed (his Chinese teacher almost vomited blood and died on the spot) 30. If the love lasts for a long time, __________ The classmate answered: It is time for the two to get married. 31. Thousands of sails passed by the side of the sinking boat. __________ Student’s answer: There are many ways to spread a peacock’s tail. 32. You will regret less when you use books. __________ Student’s answer: There is not enough money to spend at the end of the month. 33. If the sky is affectionate, the sky will also grow old. __________ Student’s answer: If people are affectionate, they will die early (the correct answer is “ "If there is no hatred for the moon, the moon will be full") 34. Since ancient times, no one has died, __________ Student answer: Who has pooped without paper (no words.

) 35. Once I was asked about Li Qingzhao's Ru Meng Ling, "Do you know? Do you know?___________" The student answered: SORRY I, DON'T KNOW.

(The correct interpretation is "It should be green, fat, red and thin") 36. Once, Mr. Lu Xun was tested on a certain sentence: "___________, I splashed Xuanyuan with my blood." The classmate replied: He used his sword blade. 37. Chinese language test, There is a revolutionary poem in the fill-in-the-blank section: "The door for people to enter and exit is locked, _______________, and a voice shouts: _______________ I long for freedom, but how can a human body crawl out of a dog hole..." Student answer: Climb for a dog The hole he came out of is also locked/ Damn, it’s all locked! Holding the hand of the child, one knows that the child is ugly, with tears streaming down the face. If the child does not leave, I will leave. 38. Love is always the same in thousands of mountains and rivers. ___________ The classmate answered: Can I give you one more? (The marking teacher corrected: Love is love. , points are points, even if you give more than one, it won't do.) 39. When I was in the first year of high school, during a monthly exam, the sentence "Looked up to the sky and went out laughing, (correct answer) I am not a Penghao person." Someone in the class wrote: I accidentally twisted my waist.

There is another sentence, the previous sentence: "Clear water brings out hibiscus, (correct answer) nature removes the carvings." Some people wrote, Lotus roots emerge from the mud; others went even further and wrote: Heroes emerge from troubled times. 40. When I asked you how much sorrow you can have, ___________ the student answered: Just like a pot of Erguotou (the teacher commented, "You drank too much again..."). 7. Funny classical Chinese essays

The butcher has only just started his business, but he has not been able to damage the father's hill. Today, there is a vast water with a radius of seven miles. In this city, trees with an inch diameter can be used to form dips, islets, kennels, and rocks. However, the servants of the bodyguard can't stand their filthy behavior. The loyal people are frozen thousands of miles away, and the snow is drifting thousands of miles away. The butcher Gai is looking at the beauty in the scene all day long, and the more he looks at it, the more he becomes fascinated. It is sincerely appropriate to cut down bamboos and take the road to visit the country and miss the hometown. It is not appropriate to open up the sacred place to criticize the mistakes of others in order to block the road of loyalty and admonishment.

In the palace and in the mansion, everything is full of smelly oil and bad sauce, and they are row after row. If there is someone who commits adultery and is a loyal person, it is appropriate to show off his or her buttocks and bare breasts to show His Majesty's displeasure.

The ministers in charge, Yu Shinan, Zhang Suiyang, and Zhang Fangping, are all beasts with big jumps and legs. Therefore, the butcher's simplicity seems to be enjoying the pleasure of tourists. If you are foolish enough to think about reading, you will be able to read "Click" to the fourth drum without getting tired.

General Guizhou's donkey was very fond of singing, and he was knowledgeable about military affairs. He tried to use it in the past. The butcher said that "the two sides are fighting, and they almost want to go first." Therefore, Zhongyong was elected as the prefect. If you are foolish enough to discuss war matters and consult them thoroughly, you will surely be able to make your banners fall into disarray, your tracks chaotic, and you will be unable to win if you attack them all around.

One's own feet are confused, and one's distant eyes are blurred. This is why the early Han Dynasty was in ruins. When the butcher was there, he and his minister would hold their knives and gaze at each other, often sighing that I couldn't ejaculate. Taihang, Wangwu, the son of the neighboring Jingcheng clan, the god of snakes, this minister who knows the Zhenliang death festival, I hope your majesty will trust him, and the overthrow of the Han Dynasty will be achieved in vain.

I am a pure Han who has no idea about it. He is a man with two millet grains and works hard in the north of the hidden land. He spends his whole life wandering around and leaning against the dangers. He does not seek to learn and reach people in Chu. The butcher did not think that the minister was fierce and chivalrous, but looked around him. He visited the minister three times in the Poshan Temple. He was so grateful that he allowed the butcher to live in the Qing Dynasty and not stay for a long time. Later, when it was overturned, it was ordered to be placed between the two strands at the end of the tirade. When you come, it will be useless.

The butcher knew that his minister stopped his cup and threw chopsticks and could not eat, so when he was about to die, he sent him a piece of wood an inch in diameter. Since receiving the order, I have held the yellow with my left hand and the blue sky with my right. I only know how to bend my bow and shoot at the big eagle. I am afraid that the entrustment will not be effective and may hurt the late emperor's youthful madness. Now that the South China Sea has been settled, the military revolution is not weak, and there is not a lot of rice and millet. The reward is to lead the three armies, and the people under his command for 800 miles are burned, and those who are ahead are mixed. This minister is responsible for repaying the butcher's return in the wind. As for the losers singing on the road and the travelers resting in the trees, then Yu Shinan, Suiyang, and Fang Ping are all in charge.

May your majesty make people haggard for the sake of Iraq. If it doesn't work, kill him and bring him to the butcher's knife. If there are no novelists to comment on, then Shinan, Suiyang, and Fang Ping will be blamed for their slowness. Your Majesty will also entertain guests at a banquet, cut their throats, and drain their flesh.

I am deeply grateful for the kindness I have received.

Now I should stay away, with my arms outstretched, my two legs fighting, almost wanting to leave first. 8. Tell two funny jokes in classical Chinese

1. There is a father and son who are both stubborn and unwilling to let others go. One day, the father invited guests to drink and sent his son into the city to eat meat. After the son had returned with the meat, he was about to leave the city gate when a man came across from him. Neither of them gave way, so they stood erect for a long time. The father came to look for him and saw him, and said to his son: "You can bring back the meat and dine with our guests. I'll wait for you here." - "Jokes of the Ming and Qing Dynasties"

2. Human nature is slow, winter* A man gathered around the stove and saw that the tail of his clothes was burned by the fire. He said, "There is something that I have seen for a long time. If I want to say it, I am afraid that you will be impatient. If I don't say it, I will hurt you. But do you say it is right? If you don't say it, it is right?" "The man asked what was going on and said: "The fire will burn your clothes." The man suddenly put away his clothes and said angrily: "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He said: "My Taoist king is impatient, as expected." - "Collection of Ming and Qing Jokes"

3. There was a big insect who wanted to look for food in the wild. He saw a hedgehog lying on his back and thought it was a carcass. He wanted to pick it up. Suddenly, his nose was rolled up by a lewd thing (wěi), and he ran away in fright. He didn't know how to rest until he reached the mountains, where he fell asleep due to sleepiness. The hedgehog put his nose up and walked away. The big insect woke up and was very happy. He walked under the oak tree, lowered his head and saw the oak tree, and said sideways: "Whenever I meet a virtuous gentleman, I hope you will stay out of the way!" - "Qi Yan Lu"

4. Those who return from a night out drinking should cover themselves with a cover in case of heavy rain. When he saw a person standing under the eaves, he threw an umbrella under his umbrella and walked with him. For a long time, he remained silent, suspecting that he was a ghost. He used his feet to tease him, but he was not worth it, and he became more and more frightened, so he tried his best to squeeze under the bridge. Those who are on duty to cook cakes get up in the morning and rush to the door to tell them that they have met a ghost. After a while, I saw another person, wet all over, staggering over. He screamed that there was a ghost, and he also threw himself into his house. The two looked at each other in astonishment and laughed unconsciously. ——"An Introduction to Ancient and Modern Stories"