1

In the past two months, three family wars have broken out in our family, and two family meetings have been held.

The trigger was all Xiao Zhang’s piano lessons.

For a long time, at 7:30 in the evening, children at home would cry and adults would yell, because that was the time for Xiao Zhang to practice the piano.

He started learning piano when he was 6 years old, and it has been a year and a half now. The teacher and I tried every means, but his dislike for piano has never been diluted by time!

So his father, Lao Zhang, joined me and Xiao Zhang in the battle. This time, he stood by Xiao Zhang.

He said that the problem lies with me. When it comes to choosing interest classes for my children, I am too blind and irrational. I don’t know how to leave blank spaces and I don’t know my children’s strengths and interests. For some projects where children have absolutely no talent or effort, my so-called persistence is simply a waste of time.

I said: So what do you think we should do? How to choose interest classes for our children, which ones should we stick to and which ones should we give up?

He said: Since the child was three years old, he has attended more than ten classes in various classes. Don’t you know the effect?

Men are not good at giving advice when it comes to children’s education, but they are very good at finding faults!

This time the united front between Lao Zhang and Xiao Zhang made me panic, who was already a little shaken. Am I wrong?

I should also summarize some of the problems in choosing Xiao Zhang’s interest classes before. After all, whether to stop playing the piano is a decision that needs to be made. After all, I still have Xiao Zhang.

Moreover, I would like to share with you the money I have spent over the past four years, the pitfalls I have jumped over, the stupidities I have made, and the worries I have experienced. It should also be of some help to other old mothers.

Today’s sharing is conservatively estimated to be worth two hundred thousand.

2

When our children were young, we all had a stage, or moment, when we felt that we had given birth to a very smart child.

Of course, now I realize: an extreme future is possible. It's hard to say whether he's smart or not.

At that time, I thought that such a smart child would not do well if he did not develop it properly. Besides, other people’s children are already attending interest classes, so how could I not send them there? Besides, it's a waste of time for him to fool around at home. It's better to learn something...

I thought a lot.

Interest classes fall into these categories: sports, literature, art, and subject enlightenment.

In the past four years, I have sent my children to interest classes covering all of these categories, about a dozen.

(Swipe up to read)

Three and a half years old: Art - Drawing

Reason for selection: Low threshold, not boring, everyone can learn, children Not disgusted either.

Persistence time: 2 years

Cost: 20,000 (200/session, 1 session a week)

Reason for giving up: The threshold for painting is low, but it is really necessary Look at talent. Some hobbies only need free-range maintenance and really don’t need to spend money, at least they don’t need to spend money early.

Four and a half years old: Subject enlightenment - offline children's English

Reason for selection: After a period of English enlightenment at home, I feel that we should study systematically, such as using formal teaching materials and learning naturally. Spelling. Recommended by a friend.

Duration of persistence: 1 year

Cost: 20,000 (100/session, 4 sessions a week)

Reason for giving up: The school is too far away, I am pregnant with my second child, Not convenient for pick up and drop off. It is very important that interest classes are close to each other.

Four and a half years old: Sports - Taekwondo

Reason for selection: The gym downstairs at my grandma’s house is very formal and recommended by a friend for physical exercise

Stick to the time : 1 and a half years

Cost: 10,000 yuan (100/session, 1/2 session a week)

Reason for giving up: The child has never been too interested, and after a long fever and cold , and never go again. I was pregnant with my second child, but I didn’t want to give it up, so I gave up.

I am very sorry that I have reached the green belt, but my child has no regrets at all. Having a second child will delay the eldest child to a certain extent.

Five years old: Sports - Football

Reasons for selection: English teaching in clubs, playing football at an international school near home, team sports.

Duration of persistence: half a year

Cost: 4,000 yuan (150/session, 1 session per week)

Reason for giving up: There were too many hazy days, so I had to persevere not good. Children basically just run around on the field and don't understand the rules at all. There are some projects where starting later is better than starting early. And the goal must be clear and not too greedy. Do you want to learn to play football or learn English?

Five and a half years old: Subject Enlightenment - Online English

Reason for selection: English learning cannot be interrupted, and online is relatively flexible and convenient.

Persistence time: I still persist. The listening and speaking effects are relatively obvious. The only shortcoming is writing.

Cost: 40,000 (180/session, 2/3 sessions a week)

Reason for persistence: English is a subject that I currently see a slight chance of becoming an advantage. Longboard principle. The project you spend money and time on should be one that the child is interested in, has a good foundation, and has great potential.

Six years old: piano

Reason for choosing: I have to learn an instrument, and I have a piano at home.

Persistence time: 1 and a half years.

Cost: 30,000 (400/session, 1 session a week)

Reason for giving up: The children really don’t like it, and practicing every day is hurting and tormenting each other. The purpose of the exercise was unclear at first. Moreover, he did not choose to go to an institution and learn piano at home. The environment was not formal enough, and the child never accepted his fate. Decided to give up.

Six years old: French sight-singing

Reason for selection: to cooperate with piano learning, music reading, pitch, musical sense, and music theory knowledge.

Duration of persistence: 1 year

Cost: 1,700 (Children's Palace)

Reason for giving up: The child is really not interested and has a poor sense of music. In the arts, interest and talent are too important.

Six years old: recitation/host

Reason for selection: I think the child’s appearance is not bad, his articulation is quite smart, and he can be trained to be generous and decent.

Persistence time: 1 year

Fee: 1,700 (Children's Palace)

Reason for giving up: Because the child does not want to go to French sight-singing, so the father is too lazy to even take recitation classes Sent. Teammates, you basically can’t count on them. I feel very sorry.

Six years old: Skiing

Reason for choosing: After the trial lesson, I felt like I was flying and felt freedom, so I liked it very much.

Persistence time: Still persisting now.

Cost: 50,000 (350/snow blanket lesson, once a week; Harbin ski resort in summer; Chongli in winter (coaching fee, bus fare, hotel, tickets)

Reason for persistence: True love, nothing else

Six and a half years old: calligraphy

Reason for selection: The child wants to go to school

Time for persistence: Still persisting< /p>

Cost: 20,000 (200/session, once a week)

Reason for insisting: I can’t stand it, I have to go to class even if I have a fever

Seven years old: Lego

Reason for selection: After-school interest class at school, to pass the time, the child also likes it

Duration: half a year

Cost: 0 < /p>

Reason for giving up: I don’t like it that much anymore, and parents need to carefully compare and investigate various Lego classes. I didn’t do this homework, so I didn’t persist.

Seven years old: Mathematical thinking.

Reason for selection: The child likes mathematics, but he himself said that sometimes he has no ideas for slightly more difficult tasks.

Duration of persistence: Still persisting now

Cost: 7000 (80/session, once a week)

Reason for persisting: I find it interesting and can solve mathematical problems Ability has indeed improved.

Seven years old: table tennis

Reason for selection: to exercise vision and reaction ability.

Persistence time: half a year

Fee: 800 (Children's Palace)

Reason for giving up: The class is large, and the children basically chat with the little girls during the class. Don’t start any project just because it’s cheap.

Seven and a half years old: Golf

Reason for selection: After-school interest class at school to pass the time, the child also said he likes it.

Persistence time: Just started

Cost: 0

I have sorted out the extracurricular classes I have given to my children in the past four years, and I feel crazy.

The child is indeed a stir-fry machine, but the uncool mother is definitely a fighter in the stir-fry machine.

What do you think my 200,000 yuan is worth? Just spend it, it doesn’t bring me as much happiness as buying a bag. In order to raise my children, I haven’t bought a bag for two years. With this 200,000, I can buy a Chanel 2.55 on my left hand, a hobo bag on my right hand, a Dior Princess Diana bag on my left arm, a saddle bag on my right arm, and a Fendi little monster. There's still some left!

Consider it an investment? Investment failed!

3

The money has been spent, the time has been spent, and I understand what Lao Zhang means by biting off more than you can chew!

I have felt for a long time that giving him more exposure when he was young was giving him the right to choose. But I ignored that when there are too many choices, there are barriers to choice. When everything starts too easy, you don’t appreciate it.

In some fields, when there is no interest, it takes a very long time, a lot of effort, a terrible struggle, and a very strong psychology to develop a child's specialty. Even if you have these, you still need talent.

Looking at the pitfalls I have jumped into over the past four and a half years, the tears shed, the fights fought, and the blood shed, I have some heartfelt words that I must share with everyone.

“

Interests or specialties

Different goals, different plans, different investments

Before choosing, ask yourself: do you want to Cultivating children's interests is still a specialty.

For many projects, if it is to cultivate interests, you can just play with your children without spending money.

This actually explains the interest. Yes, but it doesn’t have to be in interest classes.

I was a little late in understanding this issue.

Don’t think so. When it comes to grading exams, they are utilitarian

There is no motivation to study without pressure

For some projects, if you start, you will have to take grading exams, such as piano.

Anyone who doesn’t take exams as a milestone to learn piano will have a hard time persisting.

Of course, the exam process is very destructive.

Our family’s failure to persist has a lot to do with the unclear purpose.

“

Don’t start easily

Don’t be afraid of the end

Don’t start easily. Even if the child is very interested, it will take a while. .

Don’t be afraid of the end. The end does not mean failure, at least you can see if it is the right material after practicing for a while.

“

The role of mother is not to say yes

but to say no. Hobby classes are more valuable than good ones.

Mothers must be discerning in their selection.

What I didn’t let him practice was what he was most talented at, so the possibility was almost non-existent. Be brave enough to make subtractions, because both children and adults have limited time, and adults have limited money.

The most important thing is to give children enough practice time. Learning without practice is just like a meat bun beating a dog.

The more parents cast a wide net for fear of missing out, the less likely they are to catch anything.

“

If the child does not show

special interest or talent in anything, how to choose an interest class

Art Choose one, one in the sports field is enough. If it can be turned into a specialty, it is also good to have a better hobby.

It doesn’t require too many. It’s never too late to learn some interests that don’t require childlike skills. For boys, if they are really not interested in arts, it doesn’t matter if they choose sports classes. One of them is best for confrontational team sports. < /p>

“

How to choose a subject?

You can let your children try various free classes. If they have to take them anyway, why not choose an interesting one.

“

My child doesn’t choose any cultural and sports interest classes

Is it okay to just focus on studying?

Why not? Is it so long to study? Isn’t it a specialty?

But it is still necessary to exercise. In fact, what I want to say is that if the child’s grades in school are very average, then why spend money on everything? What about interest classes? Students still have to focus on academics.

Interest is important, but you have to get results

Interest is not a panacea

Even if interest can make the child's training start more smoothly and last longer, there will definitely be a bottleneck period and a time when you want to give up. Because any achievement is obtained after training once, twice, or countless times.

When your child wants to retreat when encountering difficulties, if you are determined to persevere, you must be a tiger mother. Tiger mothers, on the other hand, are not afraid of hardship, are not afraid of spending money, and basically give up on themselves.

Many people are actually unable to do their best for their children. If you can’t do it, it’s difficult to let your child excel!

This is the mother of 19-year-old Chinese-American figure skating champion Chen Wei. Look at this mother's hands and you will know how much she has paid for this champion son.

Ask yourself, is it okay for me to go shopping and have my hair permed and put on makeup, but I still miss my mother who buys bags?

4

When I started to let my children practice piano and when I thought about giving up, there were voices around me:

"Children must learn an instrument. ”

“Music can improve a person’s overall quality, and it can also be regarded as a skill.”

“It’s a bit harder now, but in the future he will have a lot of work pressure and just sit there. It would be great if we could talk about a song."

"If you don't force him now, he will blame you when he grows up."

"If he doesn't like playing it, just give up. There will be more and more things he doesn’t like in the future, what should you do?”

But I decided to give up the piano.

Because interest classes are ultimately about making use of strengths, not making up for weaknesses.

Moreover, choosing a hobby class is like falling in love. If you are not suitable and you feel uncomfortable no matter how you go on and off, then break up.

For the cultivation of children's interests, the most perfect situation is to help children find what they love, so that they can persevere and motivate themselves.

During the two weeks when piano lessons stopped, my life seemed to be back to its peak.