Super funny! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I am very happy to answer your questions and hope it will be helpful to you! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
On the first day of school, the teacher asked Xiao Ming: "Xiao Ming, 1 1 =?" Xiao Ming said: "I don't know." The teacher said: "Then you go home and ask your family." Xiao Ming went Asked his mother, his mother was quarreling with others, Xiao Ming asked: "Mom 1 1 =?" Mom said: "Son of a bitch!" Xiao Ming knew 1 1 = bastard; Xiao Ming went to ask his father again, his father was drinking beer, Xiao Ming asked: "Dad 1 1=?" Dad said: "It's cool!" Xiao Ming knew that 1 1= was cool again; Xiao Ming went to ask his grandpa again. Grandpa was watching TV. Xiao Ming asked: "Grandpa 1 1=?" Grandpa said: "Gangster boss ! "Xiao Ming knew 1 1 = gang boss; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, and she was singing the national anthem: People who don't want to be slaves! Xiao Ming knew 1 1 = People who don’t want to be slaves; Xiao Ming went to ask his sister again, who was singing a children’s song: Little rabbit, please open the door! Xiao Ming got it 1 1=The little rabbit opened the door obediently. The next day, the teacher asked: "Xiao Ming 1 1 =?" Xiao Ming said: "Son of a bitch." "Pah" the teacher slapped Xiao Ming, and Xiao Ming said: "It's great." The teacher said inexplicably: "Who taught you? "Xiao Ming said: "The gang boss." The teacher was startled and asked: "Xiao Ming, what are you doing?" Xiao Ming sang: People who don't want to be slaves. The teacher locked Xiao Ming out. Xiao Ming knocked on the door and sang: "Little rabbit, open the door obediently." The teacher fainted
I gave the poster a cold joke that I thought was very cold. I'll give you two! It should be so classic!
1. Female: Put it on!
Male: It feels better not to wear it.
Female: Wear it safer.
Male: Believe in my skills.
Female: I won’t let you wear it if you don’t wear it.
Male: You look like a man if you don’t wear it.
Female: Are you annoyed? Will you die if you wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle?
2. A, B, C, D, which word is the coolest? ==gt;D (Thong)
After working hard for most of my life, I finally bought a house in the suburbs of Beijing.
On the day of payment, I took out my cell phone with trembling hands in tears and prepared to tell my family.
Unexpectedly, the boot screen shows: Hebei Mobile welcomes you!
Answer: E Wei Zhi Ao - Junior Magician Level 3 2009-10-21 23:18
Reporting that one day, you were walking in the forest,
Suddenly, a big bear appears from behind you
At this time, you find it and run away
The bear also chases you
You What I most hope will happen next:
A was caught up by a bear and tragically eaten -------------------------- ----------Not as good as a beast
B ran as fast as a bear, and finally ran out of the forest, and the bear gave up the pursuit------------- -------It's just a beast
C can run faster than a bear, and get rid of it in one go----------------- ------- Worse than an animal
Answer: SoftIceCream - Level 3 Newcomer in the Workplace2009-10-21 23:22
Reporting the story of Haha and Heehee
One day
Haha and Heehee went shopping
The car came.
Hit to death haha
Hee hee cried: Haha, haha, haha,,, you are dead
Answer: Shui Yuzhao - Little Famous Level 5 2009-10-22 07:11
Miss Reporter, can you let me admire your underwear?
Answer: jay_h1218 - Lieutenant Level 8 2009-10-22 11:10
Report Once upon a time there was a snail... One day while walking, he farted suddenly. .guess what?
The shell was broken? Wrong..
The answer is...
Of course you have to keep walking after farting! Otherwise, they would yell: Hey, everyone, come and see, I farted!
Answer: Watermelon Wandering - Shutong Level 1 2009-10-22 13:00
Report In the past, a glass cup and a coffee cup were walking on the road, and a car on the road The truck honked its horn, but why was the glass shattered but not the coffee cup?
--------------------------
Because coffee cups have ears, glass cups No ears (handle)
Answer: Coveting Zaijun - Intern Level 2009-10-22 20:53
Report that I want to sleep
Answer Author: a264933130 - Intermediate Disciple Level 2 2009-10-23 00:54
The story of reporting must be told slowly, for example, you are A and the person listening is B
A: Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a bear. He was a polar bear. He was bored, super bored, so he pulled out the hair on his body to play. He pulled out one hair, then another one, then another one, and then another one. , then another one was pulled out, and then another one was pulled out, then another one was pulled out, then another one was pulled out, then another one was pulled out, then another one was pulled out, then another one was pulled out, Then he pulled out another one, and then another one, and then another one...
B was speechless and a little impatient
A: You Do you think this story is cold?
B: It’s not cold
A: But the polar bear feels cold!
Answer: gwx44644 ??- Jianghu Shaoxia Level 7 2009-10-23 18:32
Report haha, ask Junxiu from TVXQ, he is good at this
Answer: Anonymous 2009-10-23 20:15
Report a friend
Do you know why Panasonic is not as strong as Sony?
Because of Panasonic (afraid of Brother Sony)
Answer: lk321123kl - Junior Magician Level 3 2009-10-23 22:02
Reporting is said to be cold The origin of the joke is this story: The little penguin asked his grandma one day, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asked his father again, "Dad, dad, am I a penguin?" Is it a penguin? ""Yes, you are a penguin, what's wrong?" "But, why do I feel so cold?"
It's a bit nonsensical, to put it nicely. , a bit postmodern. Modern people are tired of telling those primitive jokes and tired of hearing them, so they come up with these cold things.
Xiaobai looks a lot like his brother, do you know why?
Because: it really looks like Dabai
2. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was really bored, he started to pull out his own hair and played with it. One hair... two hairs... three hairs... and finally there was no hair left. He suddenly shouted... It's so cold! ! ………………
3. There was a man who looked like an onion and cried as he walked
4. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. .
The banana walking in front suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot. I need to take off my clothes."
As a result, he peeled off the skin.
As a result, the banana behind fell down.
5. There is a hide-and-seek club, and their leader has not been found yet.
6. Two fingers Make a V, what is it? Yes~~ Stretch down with shaking hands, what is it? Fallen leaves! Hahaha, I laughed to death
7. Stretch out four fingers,
How much is it?
FOUR,
Bend four fingers,
What is it?
WONDERFUL~!
8. When the millionaire drove his luxurious extended-length "Lincoln" car through a village, he saw two beggars pulling grass to eat on the side of the road. The millionaire immediately stopped the car.
"Why are you eating grass?"
"We really have no money..." replied a beggar.
"Really, get in the car and go to my house."
"I still have a wife and two children at home..." a beggar muttered.
"Call them here." The rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call your family members here too." ”
“My family has a large population. In addition to my wife, I have five children. "Another beggar said.
"It doesn't matter, call everyone, go quickly1
Just like that, the two beggars and their families got on the bus. Fortunately, it was an extended bus. . During the ride, a beggar's wife said gratefully: "Boss, you are so kind, you can even invite poor people like us to your home."
The millionaire replied: "It's nothing, I I just came back from abroad. No one has taken care of the house. The lawn in the yard is probably more than one meter high. You can eat enough.
9. Once upon a time, there was a loaf of bread walking on the street. He felt hungry. , so he ate himself
Once upon a time, a marshmallow went to play ball for a long time. He said: "I am so tired, I feel like my whole body has softened."
10. Once upon a time, there was a little lamb. One day he went out to play and met the big bad wolf.
The big bad wolf said: "I will eat you!" ! ! ”
Guess what happened?
In the end, the big bad wolf ate the lamb
11. There is a generation gap but no cleavage, - this Communication is difficult.
12. Who among the wolves, tigers and lions will be eliminated from the game? The wolf, because: Momotaro (eliminated the wolf)
13. When will Chen Shui-bian think about it? Want to unify? When buying instant noodles.
14. Why are silkworms so rich? Because...silkworms can spin cocoons (frugal)
15. Which historical figure is the most wealthy? Do you owe me a favor? Su Wu, because: Su Wu Muyang Beihai Beach (being blamed)
16. Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your head is like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged, so he cried.
One day, the three little ones flew away. The pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf easily blew down the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as hard as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. The three little pigs said desperately, you can do whatever you want.
At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva:
Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?
18. A stone fought with rice cakes, and when he was angry, he kicked the rice cakes into the sea...
Tell me a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private commitment for life, but the boy had to obey. After completing his military service, he made a vow with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and promised to meet the girl three years later. Then, the ring would be used as a wedding ring. Finally, three years later, the girl has been She was so sad that she was waiting for the boy but couldn't. In despair, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and left. However, the boy had actually been waiting for the girl. However, the girl misunderstood the date of the date, so she stayed forever. It became a regret. The boy was heartbroken... A few years later, the boy went fishing. Guess what he caught?
20. The diver’s move was very difficult, and he did it A triple twist followed by a front somersault, a triple triple and a half followed by a back somersault for one month.
21. When my friend Li Shansi and I first moved, there was no TV at home and we were very bored. We pretended there was a TV on the table, and then the two of us pretended to have remote controls in our hands and could change the channel. This bastard kept changing the channel. I told him, but he didn't listen, and then we started fighting.
22. An egg went to a teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg; an egg went to swim in the Songhua River, and it turned into a preserved egg; an egg ran to Shandong, and it turned out It turned into a Lu (stewed) egg; there was an egg that was homeless and turned into a wild egg; there was an egg that accidentally fell on the road and fell to the ground and turned into a missile; there was an egg that turned into a missile. An egg ran into someone's yard and turned into an atomic bomb; an egg ran into the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and turned into a hydrogen bomb; an egg got sick and turned into a bad guy; an egg got married and turned into a hydrogen bomb There was an egg that ran into a river and swam and turned into a nuclear bomb; there was an egg that ran into flowers and turned into a bastard; there was an egg that rode a horse and held a knife and turned into a nuclear bomb. He is a swordsman; one of the eggs is female and looks ugly, and turns into a dinosaur egg; one of the eggs is male, and his wife commits adultery with other eggs outside, and he turns into a bastard; there is An egg...
23. Once upon a time, there was a man named Cai, and everyone called him Xiao Cai.
As a result...
One day, he was taken away!
24. Once upon a time, there was a bird,
He would pass by a corn field every day,
But unfortunately,
one day there was a fire in that corn field,
all the corn turned into Popcorn!!!
After the bird flew over...
I thought it was snowing, but it was so cold...
25 , Xiao Ming: Have you ever seen a turtle shake his head?
Kangkang shakes his head) No
Xiao Ming: Then have you ever heard an idiot say yes
, idiot Saying no, being mentally retarded and refusing to speak
Story of words
Kangkang: ........................
26. A A reporter was going to visit 100 penguins in the North Pole.
He asked the first penguin what his usual interests were. The first penguin said: eating, sleeping, and playing.
The reporter asked confusedly what doudongdong was? The penguin left without saying anything. The reporter wanted to say okay, but he didn’t talk about it until he told it. He asked the second penguin what his usual interests were. The second penguin said: Eat, sleep, and bang. Why is it hitting again? The reporter muttered in his mind. From the first penguin to the 99th penguin, their usual interests are "eating." Sleep, bang, bang, bang.
Until the 100th penguin.
The reporter asked him what his usual interests are?
The 100th penguin: Eating. .Sleeping.
The reporter thought it was strange, so he asked it: Why don’t you hit Dongdong?
The 100th penguin: ''Because I am Dongdong.''
27. Coffee cups and water cups were crossing the road together. At this time, an old man shouted, "Be careful, it's a red light now." But after a while, the coffee cup crossed the road smoothly, but the water cup was hit by a truck and water poured into it. May I ask why?
key: Because the coffee cup has "ears" and the water cup does not 5555555555555555^ ^
28. In a Grass Boat
Lu Su: "Can you really borrow arrows like this? Mr. Kong Ming?"
Zhuge Liang: "Believe me. "
Lu Su: "But I'm still a little worried..."
Zhuge Liang: "No need"
Lu Su: "But, don't you think so." Is it getting hotter in the boat?"
Zhuge Liang: "It's a bit awkward to say so...Is there something wrong?"
Lu Su: "Yes, I'm worried about the enemy. It's a rocket..."
Zhuge Liang: "Hey! Zijing￣￣Can you swim￣￣￣I can't￣￣￣" 29. Soldiers: "Thirsty...thirst..."
Cao Cao: "Everyone, hold on for a while! I have been to this place before, and I remember that there is a plum forest nearby. If you walk for a while, you may be there."
Soldiers: "Oh￣￣￣￣There are plums to eat￣￣￣Oh￣￣￣"
Half an hour later - Cao Ren: "Lord! The expedition team found a lot of water sources!"
Cao Cao: "Hahahaha, did you hear that? I finally have water to drink."
All the soldiers: "If you don't go... you must find plums..."
30. Diao Chan: "..."
Dong Zhuo: "..."
Lu Bu: "I just want to hear your true words , which one of us do you love more?"
Diao Chan: "…………"
Dong Zhuo: "…………"
Lu Bu: "Answer me!"
Dong Zhuo: "It's really hard to decide ￣￣￣￣I like both of them￣￣￣￣"
Lü Bu: " Scum ￣￣￣￣!” - According to research, the first BL murder case in Chinese history occurred in the late Eastern Han Dynasty...
Choose which one you like...