Mom’s sisters--suspicious (aunt)
The crenel on the stage--no success (Putrajaya)
The whip on the stage--increased ( Fake horse)
Fire in Guanyin Hall - Miaozai (temple disaster)
Monkey Sun sits in the Golden Palace - Unlike Ren (Ren) Lord
The longevity star Target practice - old tune (gun)
The birthday girl plays the pipa - a cliché (player)
Wheat straw blowing fire - stingy (tool)
Alley To race a horse in a horse - the question (hooves) is hard to come up with
Pull the beard to cross the river - to be modest (to pull the beard) too much (to cross)
Pull the bell into the air - to dream (ring) )
Catch bees and eat honey - Tian (sweet) and shameless (thorn)
Buy camels at Huguo Temple - no such thing (city)
Sichuan peppercorns fall into the rice - trouble (rice)
Flies fly into the cow's eyes - eat when tired (tears)
Bean dregs stick to the door god - do not stick (sticky)
Bean basket fire with firewood - anxious (skip)
Dried tofu cooked with meat - there are several portions (vegetarian)
Tofu curd cooking - How can we use words (salt)
A couple hoeing the ground - regardless of (employing) people
Two hundred dollars of peanuts - some have to be peeled (peeled)
Hold longevity peaches in both hands - reasonable (ceremony)
Two trumpets are blown to the same tune - they want to (sound) together
Han Mei worships Yaksha - all ( Jing) See ghost
Bamboo shoots outside the garden - nephew (born)
Men don't beat their wives - good luck (couple)
Scholars write poems - yes Two hands (head)
The bald man takes off his hat - the first name (Ming Dynasty)
The girl from the He family is given to the Zheng family - just right (Zheng He's family)
Punching a boat in the belly - expert (navigation)
Measuring rice with a tortoise cover - what sound (liter)
Smoke coming from the rice pot - the rice is mushy
p>
Light mosquito coils under the bed - nothing to do (mosquito)
Frozen tofu - difficult to handle (mix)
Stir-fry hot beans in a cold pot - the noisier (fry) ), the colder
The Kitchen God sticks to the Door God - there are words (paintings) in the words (paintings)
Sand and stone beat bluestone - solid (stone) hits solid (stone)
Boat on the beach - grounded (up) shallow
An ox without horns - fake scolding (horse)
No temple fair - don't rush (crowded)
A coffin without a bottom--not a prosperous person
Have no money to buy conch--save some (suck)
Huaierpo crosses the single-plank bridge-- The collar (tight) and (er) take risks
Hold a horse spoon in your arms--a sincere (prosperous) heart
Put cotton in your arms--a soft (warm) heart
Carrying gourds in arms - soothes (combing) the heart
Poor people buy rice - one sound (liter) of head
Poor carpenter opens business - only one sentence (saw)
The tinker fell into a somersault - sticking (iron) upside down
Zhang Tianshi went into the sea - don't (touch) the monster
Zhang Tianshi knelt in the muddy water - begged for mercy ( Sunny)
Zhang Guolao's donkey - Bubuqi (riding)
The rooster wears a hat - official (crown) upon official (crown)
Knocking soot on the chicken's head - how many (chicken) heads are angry?
Chicken pecks the ants - just right (for food)
No need for an awl to hold the soles of the shoes - really (needle) good
p>
Paper railings - cannot lean on
Paper stools - cannot sit on
Paper
The stove is made of paste - it cannot be passed (pot)
The pipa made of paper - it is not allowed to talk (play)
Donkey skin stuck to the wall - it is incoherent (painting)
The crutch goes to the hospital - self-consciousness (foot treatment)
The frog jumps on the big drum - understand (dong dong)
Goes down to the coal mine on crutches - Unlucky at every step (coal)
Crossing the street with a beard - modesty (pulling the beard)
The horse in the painting - Buqi (riding)
Zao Check the board - few words (sawing)
Selling cloth without a ruler - bad intentions (quantity)
Selling shrimp without a scale - catching a blind person (shrimp)
p>
The butt of the campfire bug--not a lot (bright)
The monk holding an umbrella--lawless
The monk separated the family--troublesome (temple) )
The monk sat in the cave - nothing happened (temple)
The monk dragged the wood - something happened (temple)
The monk's house - wonderful (temple) )
The monk's head - unable to (send)
The ax breaks the bamboo - anxious (cutting the knot)
Loading the net in the fish pond - redundant ( fish)
Foxes quarrel--a bunch of nonsense
Fox rides tiger--fox fakes (drives) tiger's power
Dog has horns--Yang (Sheep) Qi
The dog eats tofu brain--no time (title)
The dog eats green grass--pretends (sheep)
The dog eats cucumber- - Wrong time (eating)
A blind man makes fried dough sticks - blind man (fried dough sticks)
A blind man wears glasses - he is smart
Those who herd cows eat crabs--it goes without saying (with salt)
Saute the pickles with salt--too leisurely (salty)
Place a pot on the kang--renovation (stove)
Washing yellow lotus by the river - why (river) is bitter
Growing vegetables in the river - not burnt (poured)
Pouring candles with oil - one heart ( core)
The plasterer is trying to fix the problem - just perfunctory (eye) to get rid of the problem
The plasterer is ashless - waiting for the (brick)
The plasterer is waving - to ask You (mud)
The mason's tile knife - the light pattern (painted) surface
The mud Buddha has grass growing on his body - panic (famine)
Loach playing drums - talking nonsense (playing)
Cowardly carpenter - just one sentence (sawing)
Hanging lanterns in the air - Xuan (hanging)
Empty The shuttle mends the net - there is no rule of law (weaving)
The empty coffin is in mourning - there is no one in the eyes (wood)
The empty steamer is put on the pot table - fighting for (steam) steam
Put a drying cage on your shoulders - to get angry (brain) fire
The needle on the thread board - hold it back
The orchard in spring - makes sense ( Peaches and plums)
Wang Tiantou in the Spring and Autumn Period--Specially Looking for Errands (Cha)
Glass Bodhisattva--Understanding Man (God)
Zhao Kuangyin Selling Steamed Buns--Yu Jia Personal expedition (steamed)
Zhao Kuangyin's nosebleed - Zheng (I) Zaihong
The judge who dug out his eyes - Blind Guan (ghost)
Of the City God's Temple Drum - Ghost Look (Knock)
City God's Horse - Bubuqi (Ride)
City God's Hudou - Ghost Noise (Stir-fried)
City God Lord Dai Xiao - running away in vain (robe)
Licorice in the drug store - an indispensable one (taste)
Opening the drawer in the drug store - looking for fun (pills)
There was a fire in the tea shop - Sure enough (burning)
The teahouse waved - Hu (pot) came
The straw hat is used as a lamp - carelessness (core)
Foaming in the grass mud pond - laughing (fermentation)
The straw hat is used as a gong - not thinking (ringing)
Fire on the grassy beach - mercy (green)
Buckwheat husk beaten into paste - neither stick (sticky)
Hanging soles from vitex trees - pull ( Thorny skin
Sitting in the lobby with a toilet - corrupt (dirty) official
Small tree with little shade - no care (shadow)
Tree fell Gone - no shadow (shade)
Under the salty meat soup - no need to say (salt)
Eat too much salt - no matter what the leisure (salty) thing is
Steamed tofu with pickled vegetables - something to say (salt) first
Steamed tofu with pickled vegetables - no need to say more (salt)
Dip pickled vegetables in soybean paste - too strict (salt) It's serious
The monk with a tilted head bowed and confessed--something was wrong (neck)
Lighting the noodles--it was wrong to eat (rice)
A county magistrate with a heavy accent arrived Report to the village: Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! Translation: Comrades and fellow villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, it's a meeting now! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: Pickles, sausages and pickles, please! Translation: Now let’s ask the mayor to speak! The mayor said: Rabbits, the dog has eaten today’s meal, everyone is a big bastard! Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough, everyone should have a big bowl! If you don't want melon, I'll pick up dog poop and lick it for you. Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story
One day I went to a restaurant to eat dumplings with a foreign friend
The beautiful waitress came to ask. My friend always refused to let go Every opportunity to practice Chinese, he rushed to ask, "How much does it cost to "sleep"?
The lady was embarrassed and very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings cost.
.....
When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He called over the lady again. Is there any "program"?
The lady said cheerfully, "Yes, what kind of program do you want?"
"It's the yellow one..."
1. Q: The world What kind of chicken can run fast? What kind of chicken is slow?
A: Kentucky Chicken Nuggets (fast)
Nicole Kidman (slow)
2.Q: What animal is most likely to be attached to the wall?
A: Poster Leopard
3. The eleventh book is incredible (book11)
4. A man was painted gold and became a blockbuster (a
5. Yu told Xiao Ming that her father was impotent and couldn't stop (Yu's father couldn't)
6. Eating with chopsticks is popular among people (chopsticks to people)
7. Which song has the lyrics "Coco Lee"? The moon represents my heart (Coco Lee, how deeply I love you...)
8. What color is the best to imitate? - Red (mill) imitation
9.2 China, Japan, the United States, which country has the most uniform military base?
Answer: Japan... .There is a singer in Japan named Hamasaki Ayumi~~~
10. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle answered the phone and said, "Yang feeds the yin" (sheep phone eagle feeds
11. There are ten sheep, nine of them are squatting in the sheep pen, and one is squatting in the pig pen. (One sheep is squatting wrong
12. Celery was walking, and suddenly felt a pain in his stomach, and then he With the sound of "porphyry", what do you think he pulled out~~? That's celery dung (diligence)!!! What is the color of celery (vegetable) dung?
Answer: Yellow
Because: Qin Shihuang (celery yellow)
13. Which Chinese character is the coolest?
Answer: Thong (cool).
1. A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during combat? The company commander was very angry: Damn, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price.
2. Woman: "As long as you have money, I can marry anyone." Man: "Will you marry a bank safe?"
3. Patient: "Doctor , you left the scissors in my stomach. ""It doesn't matter, I still have one."
4. Two counterfeiters accidentally made counterfeit bills with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to do so. They took it to remote mountainous areas to spend. When they took a 15-yuan piece and bought 1-yuan candied haws, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7-yuan pieces.
5. The minimum standard for a college student; a peasant woman, a mountain spring, and a bit of farmland.
7. I say you are a pig, and you would be weird if you said: I am a pig. From now on I will call you "weird pig"! Finally one day, you couldn't help shouting to everyone: It's weird that I'm not a pig!
8.Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: Because I can't print real money.
9. Thief A: "Quickly count how much money you robbed today?" Thief B: "No, you will know after reading the newspaper tomorrow."
10 .The sun was really nice last night.
11. One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but he was hesitant because the car dealer did not have an auspicious license plate number. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile: "This license plate is good 00544 (let me try it). I guarantee that no one will dare to mess with it. It's not bad!"
The rich man was moved and bought the car immediately, but there was a car accident the next day. The rich man got out of the car angrily, thinking that you dared to hit this car, but when he got out of the car, he immediately became disappointed. After leaving, it turned out that the other party’s license plate was 44944 (just try it).
12. The fortune teller and the lady dialogue: "You have a bad fate." "Why?" "Because you have bad omens."
"Then I'll take off my bra." "No, as soon as you get rid of the bad omen, there will be two big waves in your life.
Here are your ears.
The new county magistrate is from Shandong, because he has to pay bills. Son, he said to the master: "Go and buy two bamboo poles for me." "
The master misunderstood the Shandong dialect "bamboo pole" as "pork liver", so he quickly agreed and hurriedly ran
to the butcher shop and said to the shopkeeper: "New The county magistrate who came here wants to buy two pork livers. You are a sensible person.
You should be aware of this! ”
The shopkeeper was a smart man and understood immediately. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave
a pair of pig ears as a gift.
Leave Behind the butcher's shop, the master thought to himself: "The master asked me to buy pork liver, of course these pig ears are mine..." So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them into his pocket. Go to the county government office and report to the county magistrate: "Report to your Majesty, I bought pork liver!
The county magistrate saw that what the master bought was pork liver, and said angrily: "Where are your ears!" "
When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied: "Ears... ears... here... in me... in my pocket! ”
Made after seeing chickens
Once upon a time, there was a landowner who loved to eat chickens. The tenants rented his land and farmed it. Just paying the rent was not enough.
But also I had to give him a chicken first.
A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and leased the land for the second year.
When he went there. He put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent, and told the landlord about the land for the second year. When the landlord saw that his hands were empty, he raised his eyes to the sky and said, "This land will not be granted to you." Zhang three kinds.
Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. When the landlord saw
the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "I won't give it to Zhang San, but I will give it to him." who?
Zhang San said: "Your words become so fast!" "
The landlord replied: "The sentence just now was 'nonsense (chicken) talk', and the sentence now is 'made after seeing an opportunity (chicken)'.
”
There are “aircrafts” available
A salesman went on a business trip to Guangzhou. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to take a plane there
but was afraid that The manager did not agree to the reimbursement, so he sent a telegram to the manager: "I have an opportunity, would you like to take it?" When the manager received the telegram, he thought that the "opportunity" to close the deal had arrived, so he immediately called back: "You can take advantage of it." ”
When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager did not agree to reimburse the air ticket expenses because he was not of a senior level and would not be reimbursed for taking an airplane.
The salesman took When the manager called me back, he was dumbfounded.
It was related to the place name.
On New Year’s Day evening, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One of them had a cheerful personality. One of the more reserved students
during the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and pointed at the reserved classmate and introduced us: "He is from Myanmar." , so rather shy. "Then he raised his glass to toast everyone, raised his head and drank it all in one gulp, and then said: "I'm from Yangon. "
The principal was angry
At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the principal was furious about the low efficiency of personnel administration. He said: " The person who is responsible for the director's business is not sensible; the person who is responsible for personnel management is unconscious;
The person who is an officer is not an officer! ”
After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: “Pickles, sausages and pickles, please!” "
(Translation: Now let the township chief speak!)
The township chief said: "Rabbits, the dog has eaten today's meal, everyone is a big bastard! ”
(Translation: Comrades, today’s meal is enough, everyone should have a big bowl!)
No pickles, I will pick up some dog poop for you to lick. . .
(Translation: Don’t talk, let me tell you a story...)
A county magistrate with a heavy accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, Xiami We, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! "
(Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, the meeting is now!!)
The coach said: "The first class kills the chickens, the second class steals the eggs , let me make porridge for you. ”
(Translation: The first team shoots, the second team drops bombs, I will show you.)
Answer: Angry Little Q - Magic Apprentice Level 11-18 16 : 25
The collection of homophonic jokes is in the reference material.
You should go to my website to read the answer. Author: Homophone joke - Probation period level 11-21 23:46
Andy Lau and Zhang Huimei were drinking water in Zhou Xingchi. Suddenly a wind blew, and a Wu Qilong emerged from the water. Wu Qilong held Zheng Yijian and rode Holding Huang Jiaju, he snatched away Zhang Huimei; Andy Lau held Zhou Hua Sword and stepped on the Wen Zhaolun, climbed over Zhao Benshan, passed through Guan Zhilin, jumped over Pan Changjiang, snatched back Zhang Huimei, returned to Aaron Kwok, and even hung up a side in the city