here's a link to the previous article of "Niang Er Sa".
12.
On a whim this morning (May 1, 219), I sent a WeChat, which was praised by many friends. Being praised is also promoted by whipping. Why am I so lazy? The essay on Niangzi was broken two years ago. During this time, my world and my heart have changed dramatically. Say it's upside down, but it's subjective to me. Objectively speaking, the sun is still rising and setting, and nothing has changed. Just anyway, the sun rises and sets, bit by bit at will? The earth is carved with everything on the earth, the vicissitudes of life, and our aging face.
We all have beauty artifacts, from offline products to various tools for taking pictures, which can dress us up or take pictures beautifully, and encourage people who are lofty in appearance but lonely in heart to fall in love with themselves again and again. But my children are my reference. They are getting bigger. No matter how many artifacts there are and how vain my heart is, I am not stupid. A few hours ago (May 5), I went downstairs with my luggage from the second floor and went out to the airport. My son, who was already a head taller than me, ran over and said, "Mom, why are you so young?"
this is time. In the eyes of my children, in fact, I will not only get smaller and smaller, but also get older and older. In the face of aging, do we have any other choice? If I want to be young forever, I can only choose to die young early. Therefore, when I stand in front of the mirror every day, I put on ordinary skin care products, lipstick, eyebrows and eyeliner occasionally, and look at the increasingly stubborn macula and eye circles on my face and say to myself, "Embrace yourself, embrace me now. My present appearance will also be delivered to time, and let me embrace my aging. "
That's it. I don't really want to write about the past. I want to spend every inch of my precious time living in the present. When I recall my girlhood bit by bit, I miss the present moment bit by bit, including the little time I can get along with my children now.
It's just that sometimes inexplicable emotions come to my mind and I can't help crying. When I want to cry, I can write a few words to sort out my mood, and then I can look back and pick up new surprises. Although recalling the past time can also bring me new happiness at this time, it is really not an easy task to share those feelings in writing at that time.
The past time, the present time, is like a gust of wind blowing away leaves and tears, but it can't blow away the feelings I have. As long as I'm alive, that's it. As for why? Obviously, everything is a short-lived past, and it is inevitable to circulate in the universe we live in. It's hard to say.
I wonder if AI can make us live in the present and relive the past completely at the same time, and it can also make us live every minute over and over again many times.
13.
It's really a blink of an eye. My daughter will graduate from college this year. My son will go to college in two years. More than a year ago, when my son finally crossed the last millimeter and was taller than me, my daughter announced on the spot that her mother was officially the smallest and most portable item in the family. And smiling, I just thought, I have practiced the empty nest many times and it will come true soon.
My daughter has always said that I am the coolest mother among her classmates and the only mother among her classmates who pays college tuition alone. It doesn't matter. There is no complaint if you choose. My son said that I was the most infectious mother among his classmates. I guess it's because I took him (when he was twelve) to a speech I gave in front of 5, people. At that time, the image of his mother in his mind should have risen from short and small to several heights immediately.
Now my great dream is to be the coolest and most infectious grandma and grandma.
In order to realize this ideal, although I face my aging like sunrise and sunset every day, face the increase of waistline, the decrease of bust, the decrease of hair and the increase of wrinkles, I still need to constantly replenish myself, live firmly in this era I can't understand and continue to resist the role of gravity.
14.
Last night (the evening of April 3th), I went to bed after midnight. I slept until I didn't know what time it was, but I was awakened by the sound of the piano downstairs. I wanted to scold the smelly boy in my heart, and it wasn't jet lag. How could I get up and play the piano in the middle of the night? Just don't have the strength to scold, crooked head and fell asleep in a smile.
I woke up this morning like a dream.
My sister took care of books when she was a child, and suffered a little, but she also grew into an excellent baby who was intimate with her mother. The boy is completely raised as a pig, just feed him, and nothing else. My sister is at home during the spring break these days, reminding me that the days when I took my brother to the United States to attend my sister's graduation ceremony coincided with his final exam. Ask me if I have asked the school to change the exam time. Of course I didn't. My sister quickly found a timetable from school for my brother to read carefully. Sure enough, I will miss the math and English final exams. I quickly wrote an email to the school, moved by emotion and reasoned with reason. The school expressed its complete understanding and support. I replied to the email excitedly and sincerely said that this school is one of the most important reasons why we still stay in Shanghai.
When it comes to children's love for music, it's unclear how much is genetic, environmental and deliberate cultivation. My eldest daughter has studied piano and cello for N years, and there are some small requirements and expectations for her. I once looked for the most authoritative piano professor in new york and said that she could study as a major. Anna's strongest is her listening ability and understanding of music, as well as her ability to read music immediately, which even many professional musicians lack. If any piano music is given to her, she can play it immediately. When Anna was young, I took her to a classical concert almost every week. When she was five, we went to listen to Paalmann. Paalmann, the world's top violin master who suffered from polio, fell from his chair while playing deeply, and then quietly sat on the ground to play the piano. After the performance, the audience applauded like thunder. Behind the scenes, her father took Anna and me backstage. The master in a wheelchair was almost as tall as five-year-old Anna, and held out his hand to shake hands with Anna. I told Anna that this hand should not be washed easily. She seems to understand something, but she remembers that moment like a heart.
When Anna was seven years old, Lang Lang came to the house once. At that time, Lang Lang was in his early twenties and was already a world-renowned pianist. He came to Houston to perform, and his father invited him to dinner at home. He was very happy to come. I smelled the fragrance of my hometown jiaozi as soon as I entered the door, and went to the kitchen to say hello to my aunt. My aunt is from Tianjin, and she has a very serious preference for boys. (For example, only doing what my son and his father like to eat usually turns a blind eye to my daughter. It was not until I told her later that my daughter had the power to kill my aunt that she began to pay attention to her daughter. ) I was so happy to see Aunt Lang Lang that day. While cooking jiaozi, I called her friends to announce that Lang Lang had come home to eat jiaozi's bag, and even exaggerated that the star was approachable. Later, when there were any guests from the music industry at home, my aunt would be humble. When she met a guest who was not very polite, she said to me, "Even Lang Lang was so polite to me. Who is he?"
At sunset and dusk, when the breeze blows, Lang Lang has dinner with us by the swimming pool in the backyard. I got up and went to the living room to play many times before and after the rise, and kissed the two children. A chubby aunt shuttles happily between the kitchen and the backyard like a light butterfly. Looking back on that night, it was really a wonderful time of my life.
I still remember a small scene before dinner, when Anna was soaking in the pool. The father asked Lang Lang if he wanted to get wet in the pool. Lang Lang seemed to be talking to himself and telling us that his life was the piano. He has never learned to swim. He was standing by the pool, and the sky was high and the clouds were light. How can ordinary people understand the road he has traveled? I always remember that scene, and I asked myself if I would let my daughter live that music is life, and music is higher than life.
Later, I heard Anna's Ukrainian piano teacher say, "I've studied piano all my life, and in the end I'm just teaching piano." My will to let Anna learn piano professionally was shaken bit by bit.
But no matter whether she studies major or not, Anna has become her forever friend with music, and at least there is one regret in this life.
It is said that Anna has been influenced by music since she was a child. In addition to going to large classical concerts, there are many small indoor concerts at home. Later, Anna accompanied her father who played cello professionally on the piano from time to time. After the Wenchuan earthquake, my family went to new york to attend a fund-raising charity held by Columbia University, and my father and daughter performed a classic meditation composed by the British composer Frank Bridge. My mother was seventy-six years old that year, and we went through all those days together in America. Now scribble a few words, as if in a previous life, with tears in my eyes.
I don't know why my love for music has always been in my second brother's genes. My second brother said it came from a folk song sung by my aunt who brought us up. It's hard to trace back. I think that music and beautiful words should inspire me in life and bring me more feelings than any other art form. Fortunately, music (as if) has not yet been packaged into an exclusive luxury. Beethoven's Ninth (I don't mean the score, but the music blood flowing in the score) can't be auctioned like Van Gogh's works, otherwise very few people will be shocked by it. Every piece of music always has the opportunity and process of creation, re-creation and continuous re-creation, which is also the most unique place of music.
By the time my brother started to learn the piano, I had left the soil that nourished Anna's music cells with my children. My sister has been playing the piano since then, which has some subtle influence on my brother. However, compared with my sister, my younger brother seems to be influenced the most by me, a crazy person who occasionally sings and expresses his feelings. It seems to be very much like the influence that I heard from my aunt's folk songs in the past, and I can't be elegant.
With silent guilt, I play the piano for my boy. My attitude is that I want to learn, but I don't learn to play. He said to go to class. If he can't say it, he won't go. He said he would take the exam if he passed the grade exam, but he said he wouldn't take the exam if he didn't.
In this way, he followed his sister's footsteps to the music summer camp for several years, made many friends who studied music, and occasionally cooperated with his sister in several songs, so he could have fun in music. Although he was criticized by his father for being too informal and too casual every time he returned to the United States, the current violin teacher praised him for his great feelings. It is said that his music theory has reached the university level and his music practice is said to be above Grade 8. He plays the lead in the school orchestra, although I didn't catch him in the school concert once this year. (Note: I caught it once today, May 1th! Grateful! )
since this year, the boy has played the piano from time to time. Sometimes when I play the piano, I run to me with a full face of affectionate confession. After the play, he said, "Mom, listen to you. Chin is talking to you. I really like playing the piano. "
it's a lot of verbosity, and it's been all morning. It is also a commemoration of an ordinary day. Time flies, life flies. Every day is worth cherishing and living again.
Xiang Wei
Shanghai, Mumbai, Hyderabad, on the plane, Bangkok and Tokyo airports, May 1 -1, 219.