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Five two-part allegorical sayings, five words, one humorous story, one wonderful dialogue and one crosstalk.
if you get a whip, you won't get a stick-eat soft and don't eat hard

a beaten dog bites a chicken-take it out on others

a beaten turtle-shrink its neck

a duck with a knife-scurrying around

making amends for being slapped-obsequious

Ma: Can't guess? Guess hard!

Guo: guess hard?

ma: guess what? I can't guess. I'll tell you.

Guo: Then tell others.

ma: my surname is Luo, and my name is wordy.

Guo: You, you are wordy enough.

ma: hey ~, yes, yes, it's me.

Guo: hmm.

ma: I want to speak to Xiao Wang. Hmm. My fiancee!

Guo: oh.

ma: mm-hmm. Hey, she's a woman.

Guo: nonsense! I thought it was a woman.

ma: don't look for the wrong one. Yeah, okay. Thank you. I'll wait for her for a while. Tetrodone ...

Guo: What, do you want to sing? Hmm? What are you looking at?

ma: what's the matter with you guys?

Guo: what's the matter?

ma: waiting to make a phone call?

Guo: that's true.

ma: oh, you, will you play over there? Take the tram three stops, and there's a phone over there.

Guo: did you ask someone to call there?

ma: why do you have to come here? I'm early! I have to have four hours, about the same.

Guo: boy! He did it all by himself.

ma: die hard! Hey, hey Xiao Wang! I am wordy.

Guo: don't mention this name.

ma: hey, I was looking for you. What can I do for you tonight? Nothing! Studying? Don't study. Have a meeting? No meeting.

Guo: it's all nonsense.

ma: discussion? Don't talk about it either.

Guo: is she all right?

M: That's great. Can I treat you to go to the opera?

Guo: hmm.

ma: the tickets are all bought. well, Chang' an grand theater. Downstairs, ten rows, number three and number five, we are next to each other.

Guo: yes.

m: hmm, the fare? Eighty cents each.

Guo: oh.

ma: I'll buy two flowers, one dollar and six cents. It's one dollar and six cents. I'll give him five dollars and give me three dollars and four cents.

Guo: oh, he's paying the bill here.

ma: hehe, huh? What kind of play? Guess.

Guo: how can people guess again?

ma: hmm? New play, no. Hmm? Pingxi, no. Hmm? Yue opera, hey ~

Guo: That's right.

ma: no.

Guo: no, what are you crying about?

ma: ah, you can't guess? I can't guess. I'll tell you.

Guo: you can tell others.

ma: opera! Hmm.

Guo: what play?

ma: third sister Liu.

Guo: Oh, Third Sister Liu.

ma: I haven't seen it. let's have a look. it's great.

Guo: oh.

ma: the accent is beautiful, and there is one passage I like best. That's it, that, that, Xiao Wang. Are you all right now?

Guo: what are you doing?

ma: ah, you take the phone, and you pay attention to me to learn it for you.

Guo: learn? !

ma: hey, wait around for a while.

Guo: hey.

ma: Xiao Wang, I'm learning now.

Guo: all right, you come.

Ma: Sing folk songs ~ Sing them here, and the red folk songs over there are like the spring water ~ I'm not afraid of the dangers and bends on the beach ~ Hey, Xiao Wang, what do you think of my expression?

Guo: how can I see it?

ma: oh, by the way, what? What did you say?/Sorry? I didn't hear them clapping.

Guo: hi! Don't mention it.

ma: haven't you eaten yet?

Guo: oh.

m: oh, let me prepare it for you.

Guo: how to prepare?

ma: I'll buy twelve biscuits, I'll eat four and leave eight for you.

Guo: Hehe, she took good care of her.

ma: huh? Don't know him? Chang 'an Grand Theater! Is to come out from your home, you take a bus all the way.

Guo: hmm.

ma: it costs ten cents and takes three stops. If there is a seat on the bus, you can sit, and if there are many people, you can stand!

Guo: it's all nonsense!

ma: mm-hmm. When you get off the bus, look across the street.

Guo: hmm.

ma: I'll wait for you at the third telephone pole from the west.

Guo: oh.

ma: ok? It starts at a quarter past seven. Hmm. I'll wait for you at seven. Seven o'clock! Be there on time!

Guo: hmm.

ma: seven o'clock! We're ... hey, Xiao Wang, don't come!

Guo: why don't you come?

ma: it's already half past eight!

Guo: hi ~!

Responder: 568848584-Beginner in Jianghu Level 2 3-28 12:26

Curing a Cold

B: Here we are! Let me introduce myself. I am a well-known doctor here. Why am I so famous? Because I am different from other doctors, I think of my patients most. The patient who came to see me walked in and crawled out. (Wait for the audience to finish laughing) Oh, wrong, crawling in and walking out. Let's start seeing a doctor. Call one in. (Look at the list). Number one, surnamed Bai, cataract. Number two, surnamed Wei, has stomach bleeding. Number three, surnamed Niu, cowhide moss. Come on, you three, advanced.

a: doctor, I ... I ...

b: what's your date?

a: I'm number four.

b: the next batch.

a: well ... why do you think I'm so unlucky? No matter what happens to me, it's the next batch. A while ago, a cadre was promoted in our unit, and it's the "next batch" when I come here. I will retire in the next batch. (Laughter) Let me introduce myself. My family name is Shan, which is a single word. I put the word "good" in hundreds of surnames. My name is Shan Guorui, and I'm not feeling well these two days. I may have caught a cold. I heard that this doctor is particularly responsible for patients. It's time to call my number next time, and I'm coming ...

B: I'm coming.

a: you can't come here unless you are ill.

b: next, one-mouth asthma.

a: (look in all directions) who is one-sided breathing?

b: which uneducated parents gave such an ugly name! ?

a: there's only one breath left. look.

b: you haven't promised ... you won't promise me to get off work!

a: hey, what about me, doctor?

b: oh, here's another one. what's your date?

a: No.4, you said I'd be the next batch ...

b: you're just breathing!

a: my name is shan guorui! Take a closer look!

b: oh, yes, shan guorui.

a: what look! Shan Guorui regarded it as one-sided breathing.

b: shan guorui! Is it uncomfortable there?

a: I just have a cough and asthma.

b: not yet, one-mouth asthma.

a: doctor, I heard that the conditions here are particularly good. (looking left and right) why is there nothing?

b: single-mouth asthma. (A: Shan Guorui. ) Oh, yes, Shan Guorui. What do you think is wrong with you?

a: I guess, I'm ... I don't need to estimate. I guess I have a cold.

b: you are very clever! You say a cold is a cold, so what else do I have to do? You are talking to a famous doctor now, and anyone who comes to my famous doctor will have to check again.

a: check it, doctor.

b: don't move, open your mouth. (A) A little higher. (A pitch rises) (Repeat twice) A little higher.

a: doctor, you are not a hospital, but a conservatory of music!

b: what nonsense!

a: I can sing at such a high voice!

b: who told you to sing up? I told you to raise your chin. I can't see.

a: be more specific.

b: come on, ah.

a: ah ~ ~

b: no wonder you are so ugly! There's a little drop on this. This ceiling is a little moldy.

a: doctor, it's true that you are not a conservatory of music here, but you are engaged in decoration.

b: you said it twice!

a: then why do you think there is a ceiling above me?

b: all the doctors here are called ceilings. A: Maxillary, doctor. ) Oh, yes, the upper jaw. When I'm a doctor, I don't know it's called the palate. A: But I heard it was the ceiling. ) I'm afraid you can't understand me when I say maxillary. I know what your education level is!

a: no matter how low my education is, I wouldn't have dropped me here.

b: come on, come on, stick out your tongue. There is moss on it! Does it usually leak rain?

a: oh, it usually rains heavily outside, so it rains lightly here. I just thought, my brain?

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Baidu Know & Art >; Problems related to comic sketches are added to the search for solved

wonderful comic dialogues

Reward points: -Solution time: 2: 32, April 8, 28

Who has artistic charm of language: 1. Wonderful dialogues of comic dialogues, storytelling or film and television dramas; 2. Two-part allegorical saying; 3. Proverbs; 4. Humorous stories; 5, ancient and modern jokes; 6 advertising words.

Questioner: Purple Ghost Gem-Scholar's second best answer

"Grandpa, how can I get to America?" "Then who knows ... ask the village chief!"

it costs no electricity to speak up!

3 don't leave after the party, go to eat-whoever goes will pay for it.

4 cross talk is good! Carry forward the truth, goodness and beauty, and make Huoxiang healthy.

5 There are always more than 1 pieces of traditional crosstalk left by the old gentleman. After our actors' continuous efforts over the years, there are still more than 4 pieces left.

6 listening to cross talk shows that you are patriotic. There is a child in our neighborhood who can speak seven or eight foreign languages, what English, Japanese, Korean, Yugoslav, North Slavic, West Slavic ... Anyway, can he sit with Eight-Nation Alliance and scold him? Tell him you listen to cross talk. "Don't go! I don't understand! " Regardless of the law, I would have killed him! I can't understand cross talk in foreign languages!

7 The house we live in is riddled with holes. When it rains, it is fatal: it rains in the rainy house outside, and it rains in the rainy house outside. Sometimes the rain is too heavy, so the whole family takes shelter in the streets.

8 if you are willing to die, I will be willing to bury it.

9 are you willing to listen, are you willing to listen, or are you willing to listen? I will never insist.

1 This guy robbed the bank and drove on the North Third Ring Road. 5: 3 in the afternoon! The traffic jam was solid when the police arrived.

11 your shameless appearance is very much like my charm.

12? You don't know me? I am an artist! I have been an artist for over a week.

13 Degang Guo: Brother Di, I hope there will be peace in the world, the people in the world will live and work in peace, and there will be no war, okay?

God thought about it. Let's be honest about this difficult point. I'm not that capable. Really, really, I won't tell you anything else. Can you change it? Let's discuss something else.

when I touched my body, I brought a photo of someone else. Brother Di, look at this. This is my fellow martial brother. He looks very cold and can't get a date. Please make him more beautiful.

God: (thinking) Let's talk about world peace (tearing up the photo)

Degang Guo: Hey, why did you tear up the photo? If you don't agree or disagree, why tear it up? I still keep it to ward off evil spirits!

14 has money at home and drives a Cadillac that opens at 13. You can tell by the sound that it is a good machine, imported from Germany, "chug chug", oh, three jumps.

As soon as it started, half of Beijing was black smoke, and the traffic police shouted at you, "Elder Sun, please accept your magic."

15 from now on, I will never eat lobster again.

16 grenades are expensive. If there are six grenades for one dollar, I'll throw you a hundred dollars first.

17 This young man looks like an actor ...

18! This plane is the same as Dafa, and it has a rocking glass! ..... Sitting on a big hat, Xiali didn't give the newspaper ... Tianjin didn't make a big hat, but it all went to the United States ... I flew to the United States for half a year and added more than 4, oil returns.

19 Guo: What should I do? I'm so rich. I don't know how to spend it. Hey? ! Yu Qian, why don't I take care of you

Yu: can you cover me? !

Guo: ah ... no ... no matter how rich we are, we have to choose our looks!

the birthday girl:: Jade Emperor Jade Emperor! ~ something's wrong.

Jade Emperor: What's wrong with the birthday girl?

birthday boy: do you have a hammer and nails? Let me help you. My sika deer bit the railing.

Jade Emperor: Shouxing, what did I tell you? It doesn't matter if you ride that deer, you have to feed it! ~

21 Degang Guo: I got a good job as soon as I got here, building a chimney of more than 7 meters!

Yu Qian: It's not bad!

Degang Guo: Get up early and get greedy for the dark and finish the work. When people come to check and accept, they won't pay us anyway!

Yu Qian: Is the quality not good?

Degang Guo: I started to take the drawings upside down, and people asked me to repair the well!

22 Guo: Hey ~ ~! There was an opportunity to make money before me, but I didn't cherish it. The opportunity has passed and I regret it. If God gives me another chance, I'd like to say to the village head: I'd like to go. If I have to add a limit to that salary, I hope it is: 4 yuan.

It was cold for p>23 days, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I hinged the button and put it in my pocket.

twenty people, both men and women, stood in front of the White House, and all their bags were ready ―― journalists! I have to be careful what I say, and don't be caught by them and embarrass China people. The next step, the gang all came over: "Master, do you want a plate? "Selling! What do you think the White House Cultural Bureau does for food?

25-Wen Shun, what's that?

-my mother brought me eggs.

-give it to me.

-no ... guess, guess how many.

-I guess you give me one.

-------you want to guess, I'll give you both

------five?

26-it's a false tooth

-throw it away quickly.

-don't throw it, what a pity.

-what?

-attach a stick to it as a tickler.

27 "The story told today is not far from now. Those who have old people at home can go back and ask-during the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period ..."

Flight 28914, from Xizhimen to Daxing Huangcun, the fare is 5 yuan. Please board. How interesting you say this is. The flight attendants have to shout when they stand there. Go, go, go. There are big seats, there are big seats. Make sure you have a big seat!

29 When XXX was born, his father fell ill. After returning home, his mother was the hardest. This side is the husband, and this side is the child, so we have to take care of them. Feed this side, feed the medicine over there, feed the milk, feed the medicine. Feed the medicine, feed the milk. His father is so strong that the child has taken the wrong medicine.

3 dead vines and old trees are faint crows, and small bridges and flowing water are people. ancient