What is stress tolerance?

The ability to withstand stress can be called psychological endurance. The so-called psychological endurance is the ability of an individual to withstand and regulate the psychological pressure and negative emotions caused by adversity. It mainly refers to the adaptability, tolerance, endurance and ability to overcome adversity. A certain amount of psychological endurance is an important part of an individual's good psychological quality. In the society we live in, pressure is everywhere, from being nervous and uneasy about giving a speech on stage to being entangled and uneasy about a choice that plays an important and decisive role in one's life. Mastering the necessary ability to relieve stress has become an essential skill in today's society. In the book "Resisting Stress", the author systematically talks about seven methods to improve the ability to resist stress, forming a pyramid form as a whole, from the lowest level of dealing with negative emotions to the middle stage of exercising "elastic muscles" and finally reaching the pyramid. The top of the book is "from a lesson for the past to a guide for the future."

Understanding failure

Before learning the seven skills, the author emphasized two points of view. First: Resisting stress does not mean positive thinking. It's natural to feel agitated when things aren't going your way, but it's counterintuitive to force yourself to think positively. Allow yourself to be anxious and uneasy for a while. The second point is the failure of scientific understanding. We often talk about failure, but do we really understand it? There are too many failures for us, such as failure in exams, failure in job hunting, failure in speeches, failure in competitions, etc., there are countless failures, but what does such failure mean to our lives? It is said that failure is the mother of success, but if we do not have a correct understanding of failure and do not learn lessons from failure, failure is failure! It has nothing to do with success. When facing failure, we must first learn to classify it. Failure can be divided into three types.

The first type: predictable failure

Failures caused by lack of attention and inability to concentrate due to sloppiness or lack of sleep are considered predictable failures. "Close error reporting" is a response method used by one hospital in the book "Resisting Pressure". It is simply to think about the terrible consequences of making mistakes, let yourself know that such mistakes cannot be made, and urge yourself to take them seriously at this stage. Of course, it is inevitable for us who are just starting out to make mistakes, but low-level mistakes must be avoided if they can be avoided.

The second type: inevitable failure

Many failures are beyond our control. If the failure is beyond your ability, simply analyze the reason for the failure. There is no need to blame yourself too much, let alone carry the feeling of guilt for a long time.

The third type: intelligent failure

This type of failure mainly occurs in the experimental stage. We must learn to fail, fail in advance, and fail as much as possible under our control. Failure, make failure worthwhile. Intelligent failure is a process of simulating failure. As P&G CEO Lafley said: From my experience, it is more meaningful to learn from failure than success. All failures are integral to my success and progress. Moreover, it is very important to maintain a correct attitude and study failure seriously.

The above are the three types of failure. When we face failure or encounter setbacks, we might as well calmly classify the failures and deal with them one by one. Below we will talk about how to improve our The ability to withstand stress.

1: Dealing with negative emotions

1. Get rid of the vicious cycle of negative emotions

2. The source of negative emotions is mostly caused by negative experiences. When negative emotions occur, you should deal with them immediately. Use actions to stimulate emotions. Exercise, deep breathing, listening to music, and writing are all excellent ways to renew your emotions. Among them, playing ball is my most recommended way. When we fight back during the game, we can fully vent our negative emotions and relieve stress. In addition, playing ball is also helpful to our physical health. It can be said to kill two birds with one stone, why not do it.

2. Tame the useless “mindset dog”

That’s what reading is like. Not all methods are suitable for everyone. This method is not as effective for me as simple catharsis. Playing ball is a real thing. But I will simply introduce this method to everyone and see if you are familiar with it. The author transforms our negative emotions into seven vicious dogs. For example, when we are angry and dissatisfied, it is the critical dog in our heart that is at work. When we are sad, depressed, and regretful, it is the surrender dogs that are causing mischief. Once we know what kind of vicious dog is causing trouble, we can deal with it accordingly. What needs to be noted is that we ourselves are not thinking dogs, nor are we thinking itself. We have to separate ourselves and observe ourselves from the perspective of a bystander.

Two: Exercise "elastic muscles"

First of all, let's explain what "elastic muscles" are. When climbing mountains, we need corresponding physical fitness, and we also need a certain amount of willpower support. The "mental fitness" we need at this time is called "elastic muscle". There are four ways to exercise "elastic muscles".

3. Scientifically cultivate the self-efficacy of "I can do it"

Self-efficacy is different from general self-confidence. It is the psychological ability that plays a positive role in achieving goals in a specific field. . There are four ways to achieve the sub-goal.

1) Actual experience: Complete it directly and feel the joy of success personally. This method has the best effect.

2) Model: The power of role models. If many seemingly impossible tasks are achieved by someone, we will have confidence that we can do it too and enhance our sense of self-efficacy. It's good to have idols, but don't worship them blindly. The important thing is to find those who have the abilities you need, follow their examples, and learn from them.

3) Encouragement: Accepting encouragement from others can help regain confidence and enhance self-efficacy.

4) Atmosphere: Physiological and emotional excitement. To take an extreme example, the brainwashing of MLM organizations is a way to create an atmosphere and cultivate a sense of self-efficacy. For us, rewarding ourselves is a good way to affirm ourselves in kind. Remind yourself that I can do it!

4. Give full play to your own strengths

Finding your own value is the key to improving our self-confidence and enhancing our ability to withstand stress. But the question is how to find your own strengths? The author recommends three tools.

First: VIA-IS (recommended)

Second: Gallup Strengths Identifier ($10 fee)

Third: Realize 2< /p>

VIA-IS has 120 test questions. It uses a five-level semantic difference scale to help us explore our advantages. It takes about 10 minutes for me to do it. The final result is from 24 Dimension has made a comprehensive assessment of our personality. It is indeed free to simply view the results online. You can just copy and paste. There is no need to pay to download.

There is another point in the article that has a great impact on me: Weaknesses are weaknesses, and it is difficult to convert them into strengths.

Overcoming weaknesses can indeed bring a sense of satisfaction and achievement, but the success rate of overcoming weaknesses is not high, and it is difficult to achieve excellence. Instead of spending more energy on compensating for weaknesses, focus on strengths. But how to solve the troubles caused by weaknesses?

First: Spend as little time as possible to make up for it, and give up too much energy once you are qualified (it will not bring big trouble to your life).

Second: "Outsourcing", leaving things you are not good at to others.

Third: Cooperation, working with people with different advantages, is similar to outsourcing, that is, giving full play to one's own advantages and joining forces to ultimately achieve "1+1>2" Effect.

5. Establish spiritual support

Find a place for your heart to settle down. When you are tired, go home and rest. Family, friends, colleagues, and mentors are all the most important people in our lives. They give us spiritual support when we encounter difficulties and failures, and encourage us to get back on our feet.

6. Always be grateful

People who know how to be grateful are often friends who are full of happiness. Learning to be grateful can effectively suppress stress, reduce anxiety, and help us be more positive. to pressure and challenges.

Three ways to improve your gratitude:

1) Write a gratitude diary (I have introduced the nine-square diary in the reading on the topic of time management. Friends who use this form can write their gratitude Include it and write down the things you are grateful for every night)

2) Think of three good things

3) Write a letter of gratitude: Write letters to those who have helped us, The process of writing letters is also the process of restoring our "elastic muscles", which helps to improve our happiness.

Three: From lessons learned to lessons for the future

7. Draw wisdom from pain

Is pain really useless? In fact, this is not the case. Pain is still a good thing to some extent. Dr. Richard Tedeschi of the University of North Carolina in the United States proposed the concept of PTG (post-traumatic growth). PTG refers to the experience of positive change due to struggle in the process of challenging life crises. When a person struggles with a crisis that is beyond his or her capabilities and strives to successfully overcome it, a positive change occurs within that person.

What changes will happen to people who have experienced PTG?

Without pain, there is no gain. Only by experiencing the pain of loss can you understand how precious you are. What should we do to draw wisdom from pain?

1) Narrate from the perspective of the rehabilitator rather than the victim

When we encounter pain, we habitually become "myopic" because of uneasiness and fear Negative emotions make our vision narrow, causing people to ignore the whole, forget the future, and fall into the swamp of the present and cannot escape. Therefore, we need to adopt an "overlooking" approach to detach ourselves from the event itself and rationally analyze the current situation as a bystander.

2) Recall what the opportunity was for you to get rid of your mental depression

Thinking about how you succeeded and recalling your past happiness can greatly increase your confidence.

3) Focus on how you climbed from "zero" to the current level

If failure does not involve life and death, all failures are valuable experiences for us in the future. Every experience of adversity hides precious wisdom that promotes our growth and helps us overcome difficulties.

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