Humorous jokes that spread quickly

1. When I went to KTV with my friends, my friend insisted on asking a few girls to sing with him. The waiter called him into the box and said: Mr.? Who do you want to stay? Me: "Those who know how to drink, step forward!" Several of them came forward. Me: You know how to drink, go out, the wine I bought is not enough for you to drink!?

2. I can’t get up, but I can’t sleep at night. What to do? Count the sheep. Pleasant Goat, Beautiful Goat, Lazy Goat, Boiling Goat, Little Sheep, Haidilao, Donglaishun, sesame paste, chili oil, sugar garlic, coriander, enoki mushrooms, shrimp paste, Sichuan noodles, crystal powder, kelp, beef balls? < /p>

3. The taxi driver was in high spirits. He sang loudly along with the music on the radio, and when he got up to singing, he shouted: Let me see your hands! After that, he started the wipers. ?

4. A fat woman came to a meat stall and wanted to buy 4 pounds of pork for 7 taels and 5 yuan. The salesperson said: Just buy 5 pounds! The fat woman hurriedly explained: You don’t know, I am losing weight and have lost 4 pounds, 7 taels and 5 yuan. I want to see how big a piece of meat this is!

< p> 5. I discovered that I have violent tendencies. I drowned my girlfriend in a bathtub full of water and tried hard not to let her get up! After half an hour, I took her out and threw her to the ground, squeezing her body hard. Then I stepped on my feet desperately! I was a little tired and calmed down after a while. Seeing her lying on the ground, I felt a little distressed. I picked her up gently and wiped her body carefully with a towel. , and then excitedly opened a certain website and gave it a positive review. The quality is beyond praise

6. I will be 25 years old soon. What birthday gift will my parents give me on my birthday? I’m so looking forward to it! Later I found out that my parents were going to send me... a blind date.

7. Cao Cao took Cao Chong to Hua Tuo's house. As soon as he entered the house, Cao Cao smiled and said, "I'm here to visit with my young son." When Hua Tuo heard this, he waved his hand, "You're too polite. Come and bring whatever you want." Fruit'

8. The new girl in the unit was very careless. She accidentally put important information and waste paper into the shredder and destroyed it. She was so scared that she squatted on the ground and cried. The manager who was passing by heard this and asked with concern: What's wrong? The little girl raised her head and looked at him and said with a choked voice: The documents are also broken. The manager was stunned for a moment, and then continued to sing: Peace? Sleep peacefully? In my heart, peace Summer?

9. When I was in college, I had a roommate with a slightly fat belly. One time, she and her boyfriend were taking a train during the National Day holiday. There were so many people on the train that we couldn't even squeeze through in the carriage. The boy supported my roommate and put his hand on her belly, saying: "Move over, please don't touch her." ? Suddenly, a wide lane was vacated in the carriage?

10. On the way to the station, I saw a female high school student squatting on the side of the road, sobbing softly, which was very sad. I couldn't help but walked up to talk to her: "What's wrong? Is there anything I can do for you?" She replied with tears in her eyes: "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupupupah, I lost my money and wallet. I hate to see a cute girl cry. I was at a loss when I saw her." Holding a black bag in her hand, she asked: "What is that?" The female high school student took a closer look: "Ah! I found it!! Hahahaha!"

11. Every typing sentence likes to add at the end ?. . . ?People were all goldfish in their previous lives

12. Christmas Eve 34 days later. Who will accompany me. Christmas is 35 days away. Who will accompany me. New Year’s Eve 42 days later. Who will accompany me. 43 days later. The first day of 2014. Who will accompany me!~

13. Isn’t there a very familiar story? A man went to apply for a job in a large company, but the competition was too fierce and he was rejected during the interview. Before leaving the office, he carefully picked up something on the ground. The rubbish was later hired... Now I feel really scared to think about it.

14. I am a high school student, and my sister suspected that I smoked, so I asked her to smell my fingers. After smelling it, the sister blushed and left, alas! Don't go, what did you smell?

15. Patient: If you heal well, it will be sunny. If you heal poorly, haha! Doctor, what do you think? Doctor: If I heal well, it will be sunny. I If the treatment is not good, you can send me to the West. ? ;