brian's congenital heart disease. Howie lost his sister kevin, lost his father aj's girlfriend NN and broke up with her girlfriend.
Reprinted SHOW ME [MV]. -BSB the dark night in loneliness
preface
I've been eager to write the down for a long time.
The stories based on true experiences of our boys.ho. Wever, there's about 3% is made up by mystery.
I really hope someone can be moved by the sadness of the boys. Anyway, I was moved by it.
Let them show us the meaning of being lonely ...
Please tell me the true meaning of loneliness!
Because maybe after tonight, my life will only be accompanied by loneliness.
I don't know why, and I don't want to ask
After all, there are so many things in life that we can't control
the ends of the earth, and where can't be touched, except the abyss in my heart that I can never reach
. Then, where will you be in this dark night?
finally, the deepest brand in life has passed away endlessly in my heart ...
-inscription
Brian ]
The pungent smell of medicine in the hospital has not faded
Under the pale walls, the same pale people are running feebly, trying to save these irreparable tragedies
In the emergency room, the lights are dazzling white.
I stood in front of the glass window and watched the doctor take off the oxygen mask on the man's face in the hospital bed. I couldn't stop it, so I just stood and stared
Is that me?
am I dead?
...
How ironic! Life can be lost so easily.
yes. That is me. Maybe it used to be, but now it's just a shell.
It's like an absurd dream. In an instant, everything doesn't matter anymore.
I'm dead ...
The world suddenly becomes clear.
I can see more, even the blinding light in the dark night.
Maybe death is also a relief ...
However ...
I'm only 23 years old, and I'm still young. There are too many things I need to do but haven't had time to do.
Too many things. I want to tell you the three words that I have saved for a long time in front of the priest and the merciful God. I will personally brand you with our eternal brand.
even have a lot of children;
even watch them have children;
Even we have to face death in old age together ...
However, all this has become impossible. Everything can't be reversed ...
So, since it's irreversible, please don't pursue the importance of cause and effect
Don't be sad
Please, be sure to live well. Do it for me.
Please all of you who are alive continue to live well
I don't know how long the next road will be, but I understand that it will be something I have to face alone.
me. One person.
No family, no friends, no company from you, just me, walking alone
Walking alone ...
No turning back ...
Show me the meaning of being lonely
[AJ ]
Rainy evening.
No.5 bus.
the window seat in the third row on the left.
everything is the same as before, except one person is missing.
that's you, Soledad. it hurts in my heart forever.
...
Soledad, 73 days and nights have passed. Are you smiling as before?
did you ever remember me in the days after you left?
To be sure, in my heart, your shadow not fade away will live for even one day and one moment.
I still remember your flowery smile, your long hair over your shoulders like a brown waterfall, and the waves rolled with fragrance.
I still remember how serious you were when you argued with me about Tagore and Shelley. Remember how stupid you were when you learned table tennis from me; Remember the elegant appearance when you play the violin; I still remember how proud you were when you made your first doll ...
However, now I can only see one kind of you, looking at me slightly melancholy in the photo.
I have carried this photo with me for two years. I have it with me, just like you are by my side.
Soledad, time flies. I'm not the young, energetic, careless and selfish I was. If time could be turned back, I would never let you go out by car alone, and I would never call you again and just want to wait when you can't answer the phone, and I would never delay the time because of meeting with my agent, so that I was caught in a traffic jam on my way to the hospital and missed my last goodbye ...
If time could be turned back, maybe you wouldn't have left me forever in that car accident ...
And I wouldn't have to endure it alone.
I know you don't want to see me cry, but Soledad, after such a long separation, I miss you more and more. How can you let me face a sad enough to die?
Maybe you are beside me, or maybe not. Whether what I see is just an illusion or not, the only fact is that I have lost you forever.
forever and ever, I lost you ...
All that remains for me now is the endless loneliness in this dark night, and your melancholy eyes in the photo that has already yellowed in my hand ...
Soledad ...
Show me the meaning of being lonely
(Soledad-Portuguese, meaning loneliness) <
My heart is like a rock, staring coldly at the changes of events.
It's getting late at night, and the evening breeze blows in through the open window. The curtains turned.
Sleepless, I sat alone on the sofa, leafing through the yellowed memories of my childhood.
Father ...
Your strong laughter still seems to reverberate in my ears, and your stalwart figure seems to be still by my side, ready for me to rely on at any time.
however, father, you have gone after all, and you have left my mother and me, leaving alone forever.
over the years, I have been following your teachings, trying to be the best I can be, and looking for opportunities to prove myself. I have never given up hope, and I have never given up my ideal.
However, without your encouragement and your affirmation, even if I gave everything, my efforts seemed so pale and my success seemed so insignificant.
Because I miss you so much ...
You gave me life, gave me soul, raised me as an adult, and taught me to be a child worthy of God's blessing. I will never forget this kindness in my life, and I must never forget it.
It's just that I lost my chance forever before I could repay it.
Father, can you teach me how to spend this dark night of death and sadness?
No matter how mature, calm, graceful and sophisticated I am in the eyes of outsiders, I am still just your little son, the stupid kid who can never learn to catch and pass football, and the smelly boy who broke your heart.
however, father, at this moment, when I need you most, where can I find your loving comfort?
Father ...
Pushing the door open, I walked into the real world again. People are arguing feebly, a man and a woman are pulling each other, and the woman's lips are as scarlet as blood.
Then I remembered your old teachings
"Never offend women"
Yes, my father, I didn't, and I never forgot all your teachings. They are engraved in my heart like the brand of my life. I will take them with me and spend the rest of my life with my thoughts on you. Although the road is still long, I will never give up, and I will never lose face for you, because I know how to be Richardson's son.
Therefore, in the days when I will walk alone in the future, when I lick the wounds in my heart with memories of the past, I will never shed cowardly tears because of sadness.
"Be a strong man."
I will, father.
Even in this endless loneliness ...
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Nick ]
The road of sin stretches forward, but it leads to sincere and endless love.
In this world of putting the cart before the horse, what are the rules? What is fair?
The candle lit by the gypsy woman has been extinguished in the dirty rain, just like the hope of human beings, leaving a wisp of dim smoke after being shattered, indicating the glitz she once carried ...
Maybe there is no God in this world.
So, who should save this sinful human being?
or will it be destroyed after all?
...
I don't want to think about my soul that has suffered too many sins.
I refuse to recall.
The fog can be cleared away, and the future is as dark as reality.
perhaps, I should also be guided by kindness and save people who are immersed in sorrow like a wise man?
However, the woman I pulled away from the wheel looked at me with confused eyes. Through those dark blue eyes, I can see fear and escape.
am I as terrible as the devil in the eyes of the world?
I only know that in this dark night, I can only drive myself to walk like a ghost with my thoughts.
I use all the painful memories in my short life to stimulate myself to stay awake at any time.
not many people have really experienced the bitterness of betrayal.
and I was betrayed by everyone. Even the mother.
even the mother!
I don't want to complain, let alone blame. Anger is the wrong path to evil.
maybe I still have Aaron?
My good brother is always so clever. My best partner and brother.
However, today's Aaron is no longer the pure and naive Aaron.
I understand that all people must face growth. And all growth has to pay a certain price.
But is this the price to turn my former Aaron into a cynical playboy?
then I refuse the price.
I'd rather choose to escape.
I said I wasn't accusing. It's just that this dark and long road is making me lose confidence a little.
I finally realized that I was still alone. Immersed in loneliness, I want to escape, but I can't stop
Then, let my sad soul continue to wander alone ...
Please never recall it from the loneliness of freedom ...
Show me the meaning of being lonely
[How ]
"God, please help me ..."
I will never forget that afternoon, which was almost.
You have gone forever in the call of all of us ...
Caroline, even if you allow me to call you "Sister", I prefer to call you "Sister" because it can remind me of the happy days when we were together and your kind and lively smile ...
You will always be my favorite sister
Never ...
Step into the hospital from that afternoon.
I have known for a long time that your illness has obviously worsened, but I always have no chance to see you and stay with you one day because of my work.
Until it was too late
Until you finally closed your tired eyes with regret
So I knelt on the floor outside the ward door, folded my hands and prayed silently:
God, please help me
Help me through this fatal sorrow caused by the death of my loved one
Sister, now I am sitting in the bar where you once took me.
You once said that the coldness of whisky helps people keep awake to the world. But at this moment, it only awakens my painful memories of the past and erodes my soul with nowhere to escape.
elder sister, do you know that in the past days and nights, I miss you deeply all the time. No matter where I go, no matter what I am doing, no matter who I am, this kind of bereavement is enough to make me remember my life.
I have established an association for the prevention and treatment of lupus erythematosus, and I have been working hard to prevent this red demon from taking more lives like you.
However, I know that no matter what I do now, it can only be regarded as a kind of futility
Because you have left us forever ...
At this moment, loneliness is coming at me like the dark night, and I can't hide
So I gave in and threw myself in.
just let this boundless loneliness surround me
and then drown me with my thoughts about you, eroding
never waking up ...
show me the meaning of being lonely
[BSB] (to Dennis Pop)
Dad, please allow us to call you that. Because we respect you like our own father.
similarly, we miss you as much as we miss our loved ones.
what you will never forget is your kind smile, which is the magical power that can solve all difficulties into security. With it, we have an inexhaustible motive force for struggle.
however, now, you have left us forever with him and gone to another unknown world.
Maybe there will be something you love more in heaven ...
You once said that you live for music. Now, we sincerely thank you. It is your enthusiasm that has ignited our eternal passion for music in the next decade.
At a recent concert, before we went on stage, we gathered in a circle with the brothers who worked together to mourn for you, mourn for you and deeply miss you.
without you, we wouldn't be today. You are like our loving father, helping us from a mite.