Have you ever woken up suddenly in the middle of the night with a blank mind? When you tried to recall the dream, there was no trace at all. You were about to go back to sleep, but you tossed and turned and couldn't fall asleep. You realized that the night was very long, but you had no way to relieve it. Loneliness flooded your heart, and you just waited for your sleepiness to hit you again. This quiet night is terrifying and devoid of any human touch. You can only persuade yourself not to be afraid. I have been trying to be brave, thinking that I am strong, and that I can resolve all dissatisfaction, but this night, I can't do anything against him. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. I feel that I am always alone. I feel that the fireworks before were all because of my overthinking.

Have you ever been away from home for so long that you can’t even remember the smell of your mother? Every long vacation is a big challenge for me. Those close to me go home, or they go out to play. That time, I was alone in the dormitory, waiting for dawn, waiting for dawn, waiting for sunset, waiting for the night. This process is simply torturous for me, who is afraid of being alone. That day, I stayed in the dormitory and swept the floor. No one was noisy or quarreled with me anymore, and no one even said good night to me. In the past, when they were all here, I would dislike them for being noisy. In fact, I was noisier than them. But this time, I was so quiet that I felt flustered. I could only turn up the music volume on my phone to the maximum.

After I came back from taking out the trash, I actually felt that the music on the bed was a bit scary, so I turned it off. My roommate called me and told me to sleep with someone next door if I was still scared. I pretended to be angry because I am not that kind of coward. She said: No, I am afraid that you, a dead ghost, will be lonely. You usually talk a lot, but this time, no one is talking to you, so you can't stand it. We cursed a few times and hung up the phone, but I kept thinking about it. I didn't know how to cherish it before, but now that they are gone, I feel a little uncomfortable. Although it is just a small goodbye, I don't know why I feel a little sad. When I got down on the bed and got ready to go to sleep, I turned off the lights, but I was used to it. I said I was going to turn off the lights, but no one responded to me at this time.

I fell asleep without knowing why, but for some reason, I woke up because I might not have slept well. I fumbled for my phone and saw that it was only around two in the morning, and I actually felt like It feels weird, even uncomfortable, and aggrieved. But in order to stop myself from thinking, I am a sheep, one sheep, two sheep, and I keep counting like this. But for some reason, I am very energetic. I suddenly feel that that sheep is better than me. They are in groups, and I am alone, and I miss home. Even though I am very "unpopular" at home, everyone despises me, and I despise myself, but I am the most relaxed at home. It would be great if I could take a bite of my mother's cooking at this time.

But the more this happens, the greater the gap. I actually feel that the world is the same whether I am there or not, which is ridiculous. That kind of loneliness is unprecedented, that is, I feel that I am not needed and not cared about. I hope time passes quickly, but the loss of time makes you very irritable. I had no choice but to turn on the light, but the more this happened, the lonelier I seemed, as lonely as a dog. Keep wandering, one mouthful of water reaches your mouth, throat, and esophagus. If it continues like this, it has become the simplest reflex. I didn't know what time it was, so I turned off the light. The moment I turned it off, I covered myself with a quilt and cried. I felt that I shouldn't be alone. The loneliness defeated my reason and I lost.