2. From a distance, memories are surging, but from a close look, my heart is full of waves. I don't want to be gentle, but speak directly! You are really annoying, very annoying, extremely annoying ... lovable, never tired of watching it, haha!
3. In this world, counting you is the most magical; Beat you and don't fight back, scold you for whining; I don't pay attention to food and shelter, I don't wear clothes in winter and summer, I live in a circle all day, I'm not impatient or anxious, I'm very rich and I can read short messages. I like you best in the animal kingdom!
4. Did you receive a short message today last year, which made you remember it vividly? If you receive this message, which proves that your mobile phone has been infected with virus, please immediately throw it into the water and soak it for one day.
5. I found that everyone who received this short message has the following incredible and perfect changes: First, the mood has actually become comfortable. Second, life has actually become full. Third, the most important thing is that the appearance has become handsome.
6. Bees are raised to pick flowers, puppies are raised to look after the house, calves are raised to pull plows and rakes, princes are raised to become frogs, thieves are raised to be caught by * *, and you are raised to eat and drink Lazar and prepare to brush people, haha!
7. Earthworms have finally opened a noodle restaurant after years of hard work, dealing in dried noodles, instant noodles and shredded noodles. This day, the shop was full again, but the earthworm was worried. People ask: Why not cook noodles for customers? Earthworms cry: whoops, they all want to eat handmade noodles.
8. When you are tired, give yourself an encouraging smile to make the pain less thorough; When you are lonely, smile in the mirror and tell yourself that you are not alone. Did you smile today?
9. The father asked his son what he was writing. The son said, "I am writing a letter to my grandmother." Father smiled and said, "You can't write yet. How can you write a letter?" The son said, "Nothing, grandma can't read anyway."
1. If you miss me, please blink your left eye; If you love me, please blink your right eye; If you want to love again, please blink your eyes; All right, stop blinking. For the sake of your hard work, I will reward you with a peanut and congratulate you on the success of the monkey show!
11. I'm waiting for you wholeheartedly, I'm very happy to have you, I love you 1%, it's hard to see you from a long distance, and millions of people find you. Never lose you, hold your hand and grow old with your son.
12. In an exam, a pair of deskmates handed in two identical papers, but the teacher thought they definitely didn't cheat. Why? Answer: They also handed in blank papers!
13. The girl has a new love, and the boy quarrels with the girl: Girl: What do you know? She is a sea returnee and has just returned from America. Boy: What's the big deal? I'm a returnee, too. I came back from Shanghai yesterday!
14. Without flowers, spring will be lonely. Without * *, the four seasons will be mediocre. Without me, you will lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, Rabbit would ask: Who should I race with?
15. Good news: The new marriage law stipulates that a woman can find four husbands. One earns money, one does housework, one runs diplomacy, and the last one is in charge of nightlife, which will be officially implemented on March 8.
16, tea, drink strong; The road should be straight; Eat delicious food; Friends, be sincere; Paws, be fragrant and spray. Ah! This one with a mobile phone is not bad. Ha ha!
17. As soon as others praise you, I'm worried that others don't praise you enough. I didn't mean to be different, so how can you have outstanding taste? As a typical failure, your old man is really successful.
18, round face, emitting a long-lost fragrance. The transmitted power, the disguise that pierced my eyes. The rising warmth is like the warm sun melting ice. Your relationship with me is steel. How can I leave you? -My dear beef noodles!
19. When the flower cat came, the mouse nest was in a panic. Mom was busy assigning work: the boss went to block the door, and the second child went to block the window. When mom saw the third child, she was on fire! Shout loudly: mouse, stop playing with your mobile phone. You are handsome and seduce the cat!
2. If you feel tired, take a break and relax. Feel bored, throw it away and go out for a walk; Feel bitter, forget it, buy a candy and lick it; What if I miss you? I had to go to the pigsty. Wow, I haven't seen you for a few days, and I've gained weight again.
21. One day, Stone was thirsty and went to fight with an apple. As a result, the apple was injured. Stone took a cup and drank a glass of apple juice. Later, the stone was hungry and went to fight with the egg. The egg was kicked into the river by the stone. As a result, the stone had egg soup to drink again.
22. As the saying goes, people can't judge a book by its cover, and the sea can't be measured. Some people have beautiful hearts despite their ugly appearance, but they are ambitious despite their short stature. Everyone praised-you are such a person!
23. In spring, it is fragrant with flowers. In summer, there is enthusiasm when the sun shines; In autumn, a fruitful harvest is no longer depressed; In winter, if I give you more grass, you won't be cold. Ha ha! I wish you happiness!
24. If you are unhappy, I care for you. If you feel unhappy, I care for you. If you are unhappy, I care for you. If you are really in trouble, then I will turn off my phone ...
25. Every time a drunk takes off his clothes at the door, his wife can't help but open the door. One day, drunk again, he took off his clothes and started knocking at the door as usual. The door opened and a voice came out: Next stop, Fuxing Road.
26. I miss you endlessly. I miss you again and again every day until I forget the time. Without you, rice is not fragrant, dreams are not sweet, and people are powerless. I really miss you, dear. Renminbi!
27. There are plenty of fragrant grass in the sea, and there are fewer and fewer generations. Nowadays, the only child is a treasure, and it is hard to find without a car or a house. The skin is white and beautiful, why is no one picking? Where can I find the reason for being single? Family planning is well done!
28. Dear users: Hello! Because your mobile phone looks ugly and outdated, which has seriously affected the appearance of the city and hindered the development of mobile communication services, this station decided to send a signal to destroy the mobile phone in 1 minutes!
29. I admire your persistence, knowing that I don't like you, you still don't give up pursuing me. Last night, you sang to me and kissed me secretly. In the face of your love, I can only say: I swear, I hate you for ten thousand years! Dead mosquito!
3. Joke 1: Congratulations on your admission to Frog University, Toad Department and Shameless Class. Please take the mental illness certificate, take the No.25 bus to Fool's Road and get off at Fool's Street! Please stand at the school gate and giggle when signing up!
31. Let me tell you a secret: When I get rich in the future, I will definitely buy you a lot of sweets, such as butterscotch, fruitcake, mixed candy, chocolate candy, soft candy and QQ candy-I can't believe it!
32. The boy invited the girl to dinner. Girl: Do you want to get married? Boy: Not yet. Girl: What a coincidence! I don't want to get married either! Boy: Then what kind of relatives are we? Girl: I just want you to invite me to dinner
33. Xiaohong takes her boyfriend home and introduces him to her parents. "He is the most famous star in this city and scores the most goals in every game." "Then which position does he play?" "He is the goalkeeper."
34. What a noble act it is for you to get up early and work in the dark every day just to give us sweetness! I want to thank you. Without your hard work, how could our sweetness come? Thank you, bee!
35. Dude, you have been targeted by a detective recently. The detective told me: "Your love 2: Love her and love her; Your heart 2: give it to her and give it to her; Your eyes 2: Look at her and look at her. " Dude, look down calmly. The detective said 2: One is your wife and the other is your mother!
36. Tang Priests: Tell us, disciples, how can we go to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures the fastest in the 21st century? Wukong: Flying is faster than riding! Bajie: Shenqi is faster! Friar Sand pulled out a gun: I heard that this thing can be sent to the West in no time.
37. Your happiness is always in arrears, your happiness is always out of service, and your happy phone is always out of service. Special notice to you: pay the fee in time, start the machine on time, and constantly forward this information, so that the plain life is full of new ideas!
38. The north wind roared, the winter rain continued, and the snow drifted. Friend, I know you are cold, but it doesn't matter. I brought you a microwave oven. If you are cold, bake the roast bar yourself! Have fun!
39. Doctor: "Hello! Wake up! " Patient: "What is it?" Doctor: "It's time to take sleeping pills." Patient: "Oh, I almost forgot."
4. You met a once-in-a-century flood, a once-in-a-century snowstorm, a once-in-a-century extreme cold, and a once-in-a-century earthquake. Come to think of it carefully, your life is really worth it. TEPCO congratulates you!
41. I just installed broadband at home, and promised my husband that he would play during the day and I would play at night. After dinner, I urged him to step aside quickly. He was pitiful and refused to let me, but I smiled. Now you let me go, and at night I let you go, and he immediately stood up and smirked.
42. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is to miss you. The only thing I do during the day is to miss you. The last thing I do before going to bed at night is to miss you. The most important thing in my dream is to miss you-when will you pay me back?
43, haha! You finally showed up. Do you know I've been looking for you for many days? Now you finally show up automatically. I will never miss this rare opportunity. I will crush you, you dead cockroach!
44. I accidentally broke the door of my refrigerator, so the air conditioner came out. It's getting colder and colder. It's estimated that I won't be able to repair the refrigerator until next spring, so you must wear more clothes and pay attention to warmth during this time!
45. Dad bought a bowl of beef Lamian Noodles on Sunday and took it home for Beibei. Beibei showed off the delicious Lamian Noodles to Lily on Monday. Lily asked: Do you know how beef Lamian Noodles is made? Beibei thought for a moment and said, Maybe it was pulled by a cow.
46. I heard that you have been very proud recently: Putin helped you get off the plane, Bush was your driver, Madonna accompanied you up the stairs, Kim Hee Seon cooked the roast chicken for you, Andy Lau took out the garbage for you, and even I sent you a short message. Friend, you are angry!
47, whether you miss me or not, my heart is with you, never leaving or giving up. Whether you follow me or not, my belief is firm. Come to me, or let me come to you. Pay the bill, I like it in my heart.
48. A tiger caught a cold and wanted to eat the panda. The panda cried, "You have a cold. Why did you eat me?" The tiger said, "It's said in the advertisement that if you have a cold, you should eat white and black!"
49. I love you forever. Spoil you, never tired; I love you every minute; Protect you, ups and downs; I can't even eat if I don't see you for a day, because I can't eat cooking without you!
5. I have no second thoughts about you; You are half-hearted to me. I send you two short messages every day, and you don't reply to either word, but once you reply, it's 22. I wish you happiness!
51. You have the right to remain silent, but every short message you reply will be a witness of our friendship, and it will be a proof for me to ask you for a big meal in the future. Don't be stingy with your fingers. For the sake of our friendship, please reply to your short messages more often!
52. A man and his wife went to the temple to play, but the wife couldn't walk halfway and asked the man to carry her. An old woman saw this and said seriously, "Look, you are also a educated person. It's useless to go to the hospital early if your wife is sick.".
53. The Mid-Autumn Festival is here. Do you want moon cakes? Ok, now please do as I say, and you will receive moon cakes. First of all, put the handle of the mop horizontally at the door, and then cross it. This is my "crossing the handle" for you!
54. I picked up the phone, but put it down. I wonder if you still care about me now. You're in the apprentice, with soldiers on guard and German shepherd escorting you, and you never see each other. I have to send you a short message: make a good reform and strive for a reduced sentence!
55. You always say that I'm worthless, and I can't make two sentences with one stick. I can't sleep and complain that the moon is too shining, which makes you dissatisfied, but I'm also interested. Come on, put on the ring quickly-48k pure iron ...
56. My son doesn't know how to pray before the party. Mother: All you have to do is say something I told God! The son bowed his head obediently and began to read: God! Why do I have to treat you in this hot day? It's so annoying!
57. From a distance, the mountains are colorless, and when you hear the sound of water, you know from a distance that it is not a painting, because you are color blind. Cold ling unknowingly dawn, everywhere round me the singing of birds. Count your wallets in the corner to see how much they cost. There was a shout. Whoever stole my wallet, I ran away.
58. There are two sentences I've always wanted to say to you, and I finally got the courage today: the first sentence, I love you, and I like you so much; The second sentence, don't take the first sentence seriously! Haha, remember to be happy!
59. Happiness means that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats small monsters. But for me, happiness means that you are fattened in vain, healthy and healthy, and then killed. Haha, little pig
6. The moon will not shrink back because of the darkness of night, the sun will not hide because of the indifference of the world, the river will not stop flowing because of the indifference of the mountains, and the orangutan will not give up because of stupidity.
61. The poem "Zang Er" reads: "A boat with a hat and a boat, a silk thread and an inch hook; Singing a song and drinking a bottle of wine, one person catches a river alone. " Boat, two oars; Hook, second ring; Wine, Erguotou; Autumn, eyes and eyes. I know your "two" best, so I'll give you the poem "Tibetan two", you know. I wish you happiness.
62. Your characteristics: like a pouring of large and small pearls into a plate of jade on your face, different heights from a distance, uneven bumps from a close look, and two cakes in your eyes; A young boy with a unkempt head looks like a fool; Your style: self-confident brothers and Xifeng group.
63. I heard that you have been enlightened recently, and after you were lucky enough to get the guidance of an enlightened monk, your Taoism has made a qualitative leap, and your master likes you very much, so the old man gave you a dharma name: Enlightenment (Wude)! Is it?
64. I miss you on lonely days, forget you on crazy days, love you on chic days, and hate you on days when I haven't heard from you. Where the hell is the son of a bitch? Why hasn't he called back?
65. The baby-sitter has a loud voice, and the host told her that all the people who came here tonight are people of status, so please keep your voice down. After dinner, the little babysitter wanted to go to bed early after cleaning up, so she whispered to the man's ear, "Then I'll sleep first."
66. Women are like flowers. If they are cultivated with care, they can cultivate their body and mind. If they follow their own inclinations, they will be miserable. Women are like water. If you take care of them gently, you can break the wind and waves. If you leave them alone, you will be flooded with tears until you are shot to death on the shore!
67. The ant married the elephant. The elephant looked at the thick guest list and said, "There are too many relatives in your family!" The ant hummed, "So what? All this adds up to less than a relative in your family."
68. Xiao Ming heard Xiaoli grind her teeth during her nap, and she was puzzled. The teacher told Xiao Ming: "I sleep grinding my teeth because of calcium deficiency", and Xiao Ming suddenly realized: "I used to grind my teeth into powder and eat them to supplement calcium!"
69. It's going to be a holiday. My boyfriend sends a short message to his girlfriend who works in the finance department: Dear, I wish you a good fortune. Count your money until your hand cramps. After a while, my girlfriend replied: The money counter is broken.