In life, humorous jokes once became a must-have accompaniment to dinner parties. I wonder what humorous jokes you have seen in daily life? The following is a daily list of good humorous jokes that I have compiled for you. I hope you will like it. .

Excerpts of daily good humorous jokes

1. A female spy was caught by the enemy and the enemy said: If you don’t reveal your mission, I will rape you. The female spy said: Even if it was gang rape, I wouldn’t say anything. Enemy: Yeah, yeah, look how beautiful you are.

2. A good friend is like underwear, which covers you even if you have ups and downs. A better friend is like a condom, which always thinks about your safety. A best friend is like Viagra, which always supports you.

3. My lover is a watch, the more beautiful the better; Xiaomi is a pocket watch, the more secretive the better; my lady is an electronic watch, the fresher the better; my wife is an automatic watch, it still runs without winding; each Wear all the watches, keep track of the time, and don’t let them quarrel!

4. The child asked: Mommy, do the heart and liver have legs? The mother replied: Silly boy, how can a heart and a liver have legs? Legs? The child asked doubtfully: Then last night, why did dad say softly, "Honey!" and spread the legs?

5. On the night of the engagement, my wife was taking off her makeup, and I stupidly came from behind. Hugging my wife: "Little lady, this time I have redeemed my life for you, and you will really be his from now on!" My wife asked: "What do you mean?" I explained: "My father-in-law and mother-in-law used to be yours." Guardian, now it has been handed over to me. Shouldn’t this handover be regarded as me redeeming your body? My wife turned her face and said: Bah! You got a lot of money and still acted like a good boy. I told you that you will treat me better in the future. Okay, otherwise I will go back to my old job! Good girl~~~~~ She can also say this!

6. The husband was reading a book on the bed, and from time to time he put his hand between his wife's legs, and the wife Then she took off her clothes and acted coquettishly, and the husband asked what she was doing. The wife asked: What are you doing with your hands? The husband said seriously: Wet your hands, so you can read the book!

7. My wife and I both have the habit of sleeping in on weekends. Once, we had been working hard for half the night the night before. When I opened my eyes, I felt as if I had slept for several days. I woke up my wife who was clinging to me and sleeping like a pig: "Look at the watch, what time is it?" My wife was bleary-eyed. I took out my watch from under the pillow and looked at it: "Why are you making such a fuss? It's just seven o'clock. Let's sleep in your bed!" I touched my stomach: "Why do I feel so hungry? I want to get something to eat." ?My wife was very excited when she heard this: ?How about we continue (making love)! Didn’t you see in the text message that this kind of thing can be eaten and drank as well? Let’s try it, do you dare? ?I still refused to accept this provocation, so I picked up my sword, mounted my horse, and fought fiercely again. Just after the incident, my mother called me, chatted about home affairs, and asked me if I had eaten since it was past one o'clock at noon. Only then did I realize that my wife, a pighead, had looked at her watch upside down and read half past twelve as seven o'clock. I hung up the phone and was about to settle the score with my wife. My wife put on an expression of admiration: "Honey, you are so brave. This time we did it for more than six hours!" Vomiting blood~ If I really want to do that, I will still do it. You can’t really die from exhaustion!

8. Your wife is your TV and your lover is your mobile phone. Watch TV at home, take your mobile phone when you go out and sell the TV when it goes bankrupt, get rich and buy a mobile phone to watch TV occasionally, play mobile TV all day long for free for life, and shut down the mobile phone if it is unpaid.

9. The mayor was wearing shorts and giving a report. When he was excited, he put one foot on the chair and exposed his little brother's legs. The venue was in an uproar. He thought everyone was impatient, so he said loudly : This is just a head, but there is still more growth at the back!

10. Late one night, the Public Security Bureau had an emergency meeting due to a case. A female police officer, who was a dog trainer, forgot to wear her underwear because she was anxious, so she opened her panties in a hurry. She opened her skirt and let the dog she was training smell her lower parts, and ordered the dog to find her underwear. After a while, a male policeman hurried over and said to the female policeman: "It's not good, it's not good, your underwear." The dog bit off our director’s balls!?

11. Today’s girls post even the slightest scratches on their hands, feet, legs, etc. on WeChat Moments? This makes a lot of people comfort and feel distressed! You He said that his aunt was bleeding so much, why not take a photo of the wound and post it on WeChat?

12. The nun and the monk lived next to each other. They couldn't bear the loneliness and cut a hole in the wall every day. At night, the old monk stretched his penis into the cave and said: "The sun rises in the east", "The sun rises in the east"! The nun took off her pants and walked to the penis for a while. Over time, the old monk's behavior was seen by the younger monk. The little monk also wanted to see what was inside.

It happened that one day the old monk wanted to go down the mountain to practice Dharma, so he wanted to stay outside for a night and let the young monk look after the door at home. At night, the young monk, like the master, shouted at the entrance of the cave: "The sun rises in the east." He thought: There was still light, why did it turn dark? So he brought a candlestick, pulled out the candle, and inserted it into the hole. Go, only listen to the sound of "ah" inside, and there is nothing. The next day, when the old monk came back, he was unbearably lonely and called out to the entrance of the cave: "Sunrise in the East" There was no response, "Sunrise in the East" not yet In response, he called out again, "Sunrise in the East." The nun could only hear the nun saying, "Old man is hurt," "Old man is hurt?!" 13. At night, my wife was sitting on the bedside, moving her hands and feet around, and suddenly she was scratching her head. The husband's penis was rubbed violently for a while, and it became as hard as a rod. The husband wanted to take off his wife's clothes. The wife asked: What are you doing? The husband asked: What are you doing? The wife replied: I will take the driver's license test tomorrow and practice shifting gears.

14. There once was a monk who kept reciting Shakespeare when he was dying. There was no such person at that time. Later, a scholar continued to study and finally found out: It turned out that this monk had never touched a woman. Thinking: What is B?

15. Liu Bei, Guan and Zhang were stranded on a desert island. A few days later, Zhang Fei wanted to cut off his younger brother to satisfy his hunger. Guan Yu said: SB, rub it and cut it, there will be a lot of meat! At this time, seeing Liu Bei masturbating, Guan Yu asked: Brother, what are you doing? Liu Bei: Eat some sauce with it!

16. In the Chinese class, the female teacher asked; How do you pronounce the pinyin of "soft"? The boys all shouted "日End? Ruan". The teacher said: "Your boys' pronunciation is not standard, please give additional answers to the female classmates." The female classmates responded in unison, "日End I am". ?Soft"

　17. One day the mosquito and the mantis saw a beautiful woman taking a bath. The mosquito said, "Hey, the two swollen spots on her chest were caused by my bite two days ago." Mantis said, what's the point of throwing this away? You see, the scratch on her thigh is where I stabbed her a few months ago, and it's not healed yet. And I still keep having blood drawn once a month.

18. In the car that day, a pretty girl suddenly yelled at a gentle and fair young man: "Rogue!" Maybe the young man was dishonest. The young man seemed aggrieved and immediately retorted. Both sides began to quarrel. After a while, I heard the girl scolding: "You are a big gangster. You have been a gangster since you were a child. When your mother gave birth to you, you never forgot to look back." After hearing this, the passengers in the car were silent for a moment, and then burst into laughter. My colleague shook his head and said that this was the first time he had ever seen someone scolding someone to such an extent. This was truly unparalleled. After being scolded, the young man opened his mouth and couldn't say a word. It really makes people sigh that this curse is truly the most unparalleled curse of all time. It is probably unprecedented and unprecedented. People say that there is indeed no curse that is more cruel and damaging than this. I guess it's time for the young man to shut up. At this moment, I suddenly heard the young man say loudly: "You are the big gangster! You are still looking at your father three times a day while you are still in your mother's belly!" After hearing this, everyone burst into laughter. The conductor couldn't stand up straight, and the driver took a rest. After a while, they started to set off.

19. My sister and brother went to school. While riding in the car, they saw two dogs mating. The younger brother asked his older sister what she was doing. "Are they fighting?" My sister quickly dealt with him. At this time, my sister noticed that two hooligans were looking at her, and their eyes were still scanning her body. ?What are you looking at? Do you want to fight? My sister said loudly.

20. Early one morning, there was the sound of firecrackers, and someone opened a small cinema. On the first day, a film was shown. The advertisement read "The Story of Seven Men and One Woman" and explained: A beautiful woman fainted inexplicably, and seven men forcibly dragged her into the forest; what awaited the beautiful woman? Everyone found it very attractive. Buy a ticket to enter. When the movie was shown, "Snow White" appeared on the big screen, and everyone left in anger. The next day, everyone passed by the small theater again and saw that the advertisement had changed. The advertisement read "The Story of Seven Men and One Woman" and explained: The stormy ecstasy of a beautiful woman and seven men for several days is definitely not "Snow White".

Everyone felt that this time it was more attractive than last time, and it was explained that it was not "Snow White", so they bought tickets to enter again, and the words "Eight Immortals Crossing the Sea" appeared on the big screen!

Enjoy daily good humorous jokes

1. A man went to see a psychiatrist: "I really can't stand it anymore! My wife is unfaithful to me!" Psychiatrist: "Relax, what exactly is the reason for being unfaithful to you?" Man: "?" She goes to the bar every night and is interested in almost all men. I am going crazy! Psychiatrist: Don’t be too excited! Tell me, where is this bar?

2. This morning While still lying in bed, a buddy in the dormitory ran water in the bathroom and said plausibly: "When you get up early in the morning to wash your pants, countless children follow the water. It's not that your father doesn't want you, it's just that your mother doesn't take you in." ?

3. At the end of the Eastern Han Dynasty, Dong Zhuo deposed Emperor Xian and made Luoyang his capital. Not only was he ambitious, he was also seduced by beauty and took Diao Chan as his concubine. Gradually, he discovered that the courtiers around him were all salivating over Diao Chan, so he carefully arranged a banquet one night. The courtiers attended one after another, and Diao Chan danced gracefully in the banquet. Beforehand, Dong Zhuo had already smeared ink on Diao Chan's chest, and suddenly the lights were on. As soon as it went out, there was chaos underneath. After a long time, the lights came back on. The hands of all the ministers were black. Only Lu Bu had clean hands. Dong Zhuo was very happy: Lu Bu, you are the loyal minister worthy of my trust! Yan Then Lu Bu smiled, showing his black teeth.

4. Although my wife was born prematurely, she gave birth to a chubby boy. All her colleagues from her work unit came to congratulate her. Even Director Wang came in person and praised her son full of praise. After everyone dispersed, my wife said to me mysteriously: A master once told her fortune that if her first child has a godfather named Wang, the whole family will be rich and powerful. ?I said: ?Then this candidate? My wife poked me on the forehead: ?You are stupid, look at how much our Wang Bureau likes our son when he comes here today. Besides, the position of our office director is now vacant. I think I think my wife You are so considerate. Come to think of it, I met my wife through the introduction of Wang Ju half a year ago. This is all fate. I think this family is a relative!

5. One day, a police officer was involved in a restaurant. It’s a family event and the police eat for free. After a female police officer finished eating, she walked straight towards the door. The hotel waiter hurriedly stepped forward to stop her. Waiter: The police are free. If you look at it and you are not a police officer, you have to pay! Policewoman: I am a secret policeman, and my beard is down there!

6. The man said to his girlfriend: Honey, I had a dream yesterday. You woke up in the morning and your pants were wet. ?His girlfriend asked shyly: ?Honey, what did you dream about me yesterday? Man: ?I dreamed about you taking off your makeup yesterday, and it scared me to the point of peeing. ?With a slap in the face, his girlfriend turned around and left.

7. The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and none of what a man says is true; love is eternal, blood is bright red, and a man cannot survive without fighting; if a man is rich, , and everyone is destined, a man can be relied upon, and a pig can climb a tree.

8. A beautiful woman found that her lipstick was too heavy, so she wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly realized, he caught up and said: Girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

9. One night, my boyfriend and I were playing a race, and soon I was left behind. , so I yelled at him: "Robbery, robbery!" Passers-by looked at us one after another, and my boyfriend had to slow down. I overtook him, and he had to run with me. I saw that I couldn't get rid of him, and then He started shouting: "Indecent, indecent!" He was so frightened that he fell to the ground!?

10. When two old couples were having dinner one day, they had a sudden idea: eat naked! Find out what it felt like before! After taking off her clothes, the old woman said: I am still responding! My breasts are still as hot as when I was young! The old man glanced sideways and said: They drooped into the soup!

11. A man always smiles and his eyes sparkle. , either you are sick and mean, or you are cheating! Women with enlarged breasts and thin waists, who are slutty and coquettish, will either pick your pockets or use black knives on you! In these days, men, monsters and witches, beware of being tricked!

12. A conversation on a crowded bus one day went as follows: A standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to her: "Don't you know I'm pregnant?" She wanted him to give up her seat. I saw the man saying nervously: The child is not mine!

13. The man said: My parents gave me a gun, which always hit the same place. Now that reform and opening up are coming, it is a pity that all the bullets have been used up. The girl said: My parents gave me a piece of land, which has been left unused for twenty years. Now, under the contract responsibility system, whoever cultivates it pays.

14. One winter it was extremely cold, and my wife and I went to the park to play one weekend. I saw many people skating on the ice of the lake, so I invited my wife to skate with me, but my wife didn't dare. In order to prove the solidity of the ice, I took the lead and ran to the ice to play around. It made my wife feel itchy, and she finally got the idea to give it a try. I went from the center of the lake to the shore to pick her up. When I was still about one meter away from the shore, in order to further prove that there was no danger, I jumped up. As a result, I just heard a "pop" sound and fell into the ice hole. Fortunately, the water on the shore was shallow and the water only reached my waist. My wife screamed in fear and almost cried. It took a lot of effort for me to get out of the mud. After making sure that I was fine, my wife asked me seriously: "Is my little brother not frozen?" I endured the severe cold and nodded vigorously: "Alright?" Okay, the little thing belongs to the polar bear! Hiss~ I feel cold just thinking about it now!

15. My wife asked me: You men always say that women are boring, what does boring mean? I said :? Mensao means dignified on the outside but fiery on the inside!? My wife asked again:? Do you think I count? I pretended to look at her carefully, and then shook my head:? You don’t count!? My wife nodded:? I think so, I should belong to Ming Sao. ?I snickered in my heart: ?Accurate but not comprehensive!? My wife was puzzled: ?What is that? I replied proudly: ?You belong to Quan Sao!? Sweat~ This beating is inevitable!

< p> 16. Lai Changxing and Yang Yuying were walking on the beach. Lai pointed to the warship in the distance and said: I have spent enough money on you in the past few years to buy this warship. Yang Yuying said: The cannons you have fired on me in the past few years can sink this warship!

17. Taking the subway early in the morning, sitting next to me was a young and beautiful mother holding her 13-4-year-old child. Shota. After a while, he might be hungry and kept asking for milk. The mother said: You are still breastfeeding at such an old age? The child yelled and picked at the mother's collar. The mother covered her chest with her hands, and the little boy struggled for a long time but couldn't do anything. Suddenly he shouted at me: Uncle, help me take it off, let’s take it off one by one?

18. One night, I went home very late with a client to the KTV. When I first entered the house, I thought my wife had fallen asleep, so I tiptoed to the bathroom. bath. As soon as I took off my clothes, my wife suddenly appeared and shouted: "Are you trying to destroy the evidence?" I was startled and quickly said: "No, no, I already put the swords and guns in the warehouse before I went out!" My wife chuckled twice, He reached out and touched my penis: Well, I haven’t lost the gun yet, but I want to check if there are enough bullets! Darling~ Is there a way to check? Is this why she stayed up half the night?

19. ?What method did you use to correct your husband’s problem of staying out at night? One day he came back very late, and I shouted loudly that it was Xiao Zhang, and his surname was Wang?

20. Lao Zhang went to Yunnan While traveling, I met two very fashionably dressed ladies on the street who blocked my way. The ladies asked: Sir, sir, do you watch folk dances? What kind of dances? Lao Zhang asked curiously. ?Folk dance!? The ladies replied mysteriously. ?Don’t look, don’t look, there is no ethnic dance in our Beijing Ethnic Park!? Lao Zhang waved his hand impatiently. One of the ladies grabbed Lao Zhang and lowered her voice and said: "Have you ever seen someone without clothes?" After hearing this, Lao Zhang pointed at the lady very angrily and said: "Without clothes? How do I know you are without clothes?" Which nationality are you from?

A collection of daily good humorous jokes

1. Mr. Lin is a famous playboy. One day, it was his wife's birthday and she asked Lin Sheng to take her to a striptease club to broaden her horizons. Lin Sheng was so entangled that he had no choice but to do so. When they arrived at the gate of the strip club, the uniformed waiter immediately stepped forward and said politely: Mr. Lin, welcome! Mr. Lin stopped nervously, but Mrs. Lin glared at them. Walking into the striptease hall, the foreman came over and asked: Welcome, Mr. Lin, are you still sitting in the same seat? Mrs. Lin's face was starting to turn blue with anger. At this time, the performance just started. The stripper twisted her waist and took off her clothes one by one to the rhythm of the music. She shouted in a sweet voice: Whose does this belong to? Of course it is Mr. Lin! All the guests said in unison. By this time, Mrs. Lin had fainted from anger. Mr. Lin quickly picked her up and got into Ji Cheng's car. Mrs. Lin suddenly woke up and cursed angrily: You liar and bastard, XX! After hearing this, the taxi driver turned around and said: Mr. Lin, the girl you are looking for tonight is very fierce!

< p>　2. Female: Brother, you are much better than dad! Male: Mom said so too. Sigh, even Japanese jokes are so beastly.

3. Today, a group of male colleagues were telling dirty jokes in the office. I was wearing headphones and they probably thought I couldn’t hear them. They didn’t know why they suddenly talked about the requirements for being a man. Some said, Money, power, domineering, gentleness, and masculinity. Suddenly, a colleague said, the most important requirements for a man are three, fast, accurate, and ruthless. At this time, a group of girls happened to come in, and everyone just happened to be there. When I heard the last sentence, I asked why it was fast, accurate and ruthless? A group of men smiled obscenely and said nothing. This is not gc. gc is why a girl like me actually understood it instantly, where is the moral integrity that was promised?

4. There is a cash register in the hotel, and the customer just asked for wine. Everyone knows that the Xuehua dried spleen green bottle and Tianya yellow bottle are darker in color than Tianya yellow bottle. The older brother asked how much the beer was, and the girl in the store said: "The green one is five yuan." The older brother said: "The yellow one is more expensive." The girl replied: "The yellow one is six yuan, and the yellowest one is eight yuan." ?The eldest brother said loudly: ?Give me the most pornographic one?

5. The beautiful female doctor is very popular with male patients in the hospital. She has many romantic and wealthy suitors. Of course, she also meets A lot of sexual harassment. One day, after Mr. Chen completed his infertility examination in the hospital, the beautiful female doctor wanted to check whether Mr. Chen's sperm count had decreased. She gave him a small, sealed glass jar and asked him to take some samples home. The next day, Mr. Chen came back, but the female doctor found that the glass jar was still empty. Mr. Chen explained: Yesterday, I tried with my right hand for a long time, but there was no movement. I tried with my left hand, but it still didn’t work. I asked my wife to help, and she also tried with both hands, but it didn’t work. I asked her to do it with her mouth, but there was still no way. The female doctor blushed upon hearing this. Mr. Chen kept saying: My cousin just came to my house to give gifts. She is younger and has better physical strength, so I asked her to help. She also used her hands first and then her mouth, working very hard. Stop! Stop! The female doctor couldn't bear it anymore: You asked your cousin to help with this kind of thing? Mr. Chen said: She is very happy! But it still doesn't work! I just came to see you to see if you can do it. Upon hearing this, the female doctor asked angrily: Can you do anything? Mr. Chen replied: Can you open the lid of this glass jar?

6. 1. The swimming coach has a straightforward personality and a loud voice. One day, he saw a female student in the shopping mall, so he said loudly: After you put on your clothes, you really can’t recognize her!

7. There was a couple in a small mountain village, and the girl was taller. She was beautiful, the man was not that good looking, and the woman was very coquettish. She hooked up with a young man from Murakami. Her husband gradually noticed it, but he couldn't find any evidence. One day he finally figured out a way and pretended to go out. He was visiting relatives and said he would not go home that night. His wife saw him and made an appointment with his best friend to come to his home that night. While the lights were on and they were having sex, the man quietly sneaked under the window behind his room and invited his brothers to catch him. I heard the two people in the room being fucked, and the woman was being fucked so well that she kept screaming: "Ah." . . . oh. . . ah. . . . oh. . . . Harder? Harder? Are you fucking me so good? I'll give you a pair of cloth shoes. His husband heard this outside and got furious! He stood up and shouted into the room: "Go ahead! Fuck her to death! Fuck her to death." I'll buy you a pair of leather shoes!

8. A girl accidentally touched a boy's "that", so she asked embarrassedly: "What is this?" The man replied: "It's money!" So they continued to be gentle. The man accidentally touched the woman's "that", so he asked embarrassedly: "What is this?" The woman replied: "It's a store!" The man said happily: "That's great!" You have a store and I have capital, let’s do business together!!? So they worked morning and night, three meals a day, plus midnight snacks and snacks. Finally, the man couldn't stand it anymore and protested: "This is so unfair! My capital is getting smaller and smaller, but your store is getting bigger and bigger!"

9. Lao Wang is here He is the most humorous man in the office. He often tells dirty jokes to amuse his female colleagues. One day when he had nothing to do, his female colleague asked Mr. Wang to tell a joke. Mr. Wang said: No! It’s too rough. It’s not funny if it’s not a bit pornographic. Female colleague: I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid. It doesn't matter if it's thicker, just not too long. If it's too long, you can't stand it.

10. On the wedding night, the groom’s shoes always cannot be untied. Bride: Just cut it with a knife! My mother-in-law heard it outside and shouted: No, you can’t use a knife. Just put some saliva on it!