Today is my birthday, and my girlfriend called early to say that she would go home to celebrate my birthday in the evening. And surprise me! Hearing the good news! I began to look forward to this wonderful night, and I worked very hard, and I ran away from more than a dozen customers at once! Back to the company. It's three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the canteen, I found only a miserable dish and a soup, three beans fried with meat (fried soybeans, green beans and peas) and radish soup. No way, after running all morning, the customer's stomach growled early, so he had to order a big plate of fried three beans with meat and a big plate of radish soup and eat it! I didn't expect to get off work, and my stomach was like an engine of a cross-country jeep-I started a violent piston movement! In a flash, spurts of gas rushed out of my body! I rushed to the place where no one was there, and my stomach began to sing softly, but it immediately turned into a rapid-fire poop-poop! My stomach is so swollen! While sleeping, my girlfriend called and said that she had arrived home. Told me to hurry home. Alas! I have no choice but to go home. I hope she won't see me in such a mess. . . . .
I farted a lot on my way home. I'm almost home, and my stomach feels much better. I don't think there should be any more problems. I saw my girlfriend waiting at the door from a distance. She looked a little excited. She shouted, "Dear, I have prepared a wonderful gift for you tonight, which will definitely surprise you."
before I entered the door, my girlfriend covered my eyes tightly with a piece of cloth, saying that she wanted to give me a surprise! He led me to the chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I feel like farting again. Just then, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse that it was too messy and asked her to answer the phone in the other room! She insisted that I couldn't open the blindfolded cloth and made me swear! Then I ran to another room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I seized the opportunity, moved all my weight to one leg and let my fart out. This fart is not only loud, but also smells like rotten eggs. I could hardly breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned it around hard, trying to fan off the unpleasant smell. Just when I felt better, another fart came again. I raised my leg again and started to release it! It sounds like the rapid rotation of a diesel engine, and this time the smell is even worse. In order not to suffocate myself, I climbed up with my arm waving the chair cushion, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible. When everything is about to return to normal again, another fart can't wait to rush out. So I stood up, bent down, and pursed my ass back and up! Let it out. This fart is really first-class, and even the newspapers behind it are blown to the ground. . . . .
I listened to the voice of my girlfriend talking in the other room, because I didn't dare to open the blindfold because I had to keep my promise not to peek. I just kept farting in the dark, in order to get rid of the gas in my stomach quickly without making the room worse! I untied my waistband, faded my underwear and trousers below my mourning clothes, exposed my ass, and groped to open the door of the balcony behind me, almost extending my whole ass to the balcony, and began to fart wildly. . . . . . Ah! I felt much better. After that, I danced around the house with cushions, praying that the stench would dissipate quickly. . . . In this way, in the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning the cushions. Finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach were much better! I quickly tied my pants, tidied my hair, and began to wait for my dear girl to surprise me gracefully and with a smile.
when she came near, I had a satisfied smile and a warm look on my face. My girlfriend first apologized for calling me for so long, and then asked me if I had ever secretly opened the cloth. After I assured her that I didn't peek, my girlfriend removed the cloth covering my eyes and said to me, "What an accident! My girlfriends insisted that I bring them to see you today. They said you were very graceful in the photos and handsome! You see, the five people sitting at the table are all good sisters in my unit, and the six people standing on the balcony are my best friends at school! " At this time, I was extremely shocked and frightened to find that there were a lot of girls sitting at the table opposite me, while there was another pile standing on the balcony behind me. They all came to attend this birthday party that surprised me very much.
Now, each of them is looking at me with a speechless expression on her face. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
how to distinguish the authenticity of RMB?
Prepare 1 yuan. Fold it in half and then fold it in half, put it on the ground and step on it for n times. Pick it up and see if the people on it have nosebleeds. If they do, it's true. If they don't, it's false.
A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "Rabbits, shrimp, pig's tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! !
(Translation: Comrades and villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, the meeting is now! ! )
After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles are invited!
(Translation: Now please speak to the township head! )
The township head said, "Rabbits, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big bastard!
(Translation: Comrades, today's meal is enough. Let's all be big bowls! )
No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you ...
(Translation: Don't talk, I'll tell you a story ...)