Online"

(Scene 1): At home, Zhao watched TV, changed channels, changed channels, turned it off, shook his head and felt bored, and was about to go out. Gao came out of the back room.

Zhao: I’m out. Bye...

Gao: Stop, what are you doing?

Zhao: (laughing) That’s a strange question. What era is it now, do you still need to ask?

Gao: What era are you talking about? Isn’t it a new era of socialism?

Zhao: (shaking his head) I used to say there was a gap between you and me, but you still didn’t admit it. Now you can see it. A full century short of that. Still living in the 23rd century. Let me tell you, this is the E era!

Gao: (curls, laughs) He also said that there is a whole century difference between me and him, but he is 22 centuries behind me. He was only in the 1st century.

Zhao: (glaring) It seems that I can’t do it without telling you about world history. (Rolling up sleeves, counting fingers) The development of the world can be divided into several eras. One is: the Bronze Age, but also the Brass Age, the Copper Age and... the Pig Iron Age. Now, with the development of technology, we have entered the E era. Let me put it to you in layman’s terms, it’s called the Internet Age.

Gao: (nods in understanding) Oh... I don’t care about your first and second eras, what are you doing?

Zhao: We are in the E era, what else can we do? Let me tell you, go online! (satisfied) Internet! .

Gao: (curls) Regardless of whether you use a hard net or a soft net, now is not the time to catch fish or birds, and it doesn’t matter what season it is. (disdainful)

Zhao: (shaking his head) I can’t tell her. Let's write a program tomorrow. Load it into the computer, throw the wire into the river, and enter: I want two and a half kilograms of carp. There was absolutely no grass carp that jumped ashore, and no one weighing one pound or two. (Proudly) Boom boom, all carps. If there is grass carp, it must be caused by "hackers" causing damage!

Zhao: Okay, I’ve talked too much and you don’t understand, so you’re depressed….

Gao: Old man, what kind of broken network is that? Why is this so advanced?

Zhao: (arrogantly) Hey, hey. computer network.

Gao: (surprised) Oh my god, old man, do you dare to connect to the power grid? Weren't you shocked when you were in the production team? Why don’t you have a long memory?

Zhao: (disdainfully) I don’t understand. It's a computer network. Up there, girls are not called girls. It's called "Meimei". The young man is not called young man, he is called "throwing the pot".

Gao: (Surprised) Oh my god, I got corona and dropped the pot. What can I eat?

Zhao: Also, praising a girl for her beauty is called spurting blood. Ugly: Called a dinosaur. Cockroaches are not called cockroaches, they are called Xiaoqiang!

Gao: (covering his mouth and snickering) Hey, why does it have the same nickname as yours? Electrically turned you into a cockroach?

Zhao: (glaring, pouting)...I won’t tell you anymore, let’s go.

(Zhao came out. Gao took out the laptop from the house)

Gao: It seems like he doesn’t know, he understands. It’s still the E era. In fact, I’ve been on E for a long time. , my son brought it back from abroad. When I said I missed him, I made a video call, just like face to face. I didn't dare to let the old man know, for fear that he would rob me. My online name is Cuihua.

(Scene 2): Zhao went to the elderly activity center and met Fan Wei surfing the Internet

Zhao: What are you talking about? It’s so hot?

Fan: (panicked...smirking) No, no, nothing to talk about. Watch the news, pay attention to national affairs, international situations and so on.

Zhao: What is your online name?

Fan: My online name is "Specialize in Big Things".

Zhao: (laughing) Take care of it for me, my corridor light is broken.

Fan: Oh, this is a big deal.

Didn’t you say that if a butterfly flaps its wings in the United States, an earthquake will occur in Japan?

Zhao: Pull it down, who is listening to nonsense?

Fan: How is this nonsense? I read it online and it was said by scientists. What is the effect called? According to this, if your street light is broken, if you accidentally fall when you go out, won't it bring down Saddam?

Zhao: So if I urinate, the Niluo River will flood? No matter what, you have to take care of it! I'll fix the street lamp for me. Aren't you "specializing in big things"?

Fan: Hey, hey, don’t you still have some heirloom household appliances at home?

Zhao: Flashlight? No, no, that thing won't work.

Fan: Why doesn’t it work? That thing, pin it on your waist, facing forward is the headlight, facing backward is the rear taillight! People still think of it as a Mercedes-Benz.

Zhao: No, no. Broken, poor contact, flickering. Don't worry, if you go out at night, people will think you are fireflies!

Fan: Are you kidding, are there such big fireflies?

Zhao: Why not? What era are we in? In the Internet era, technology is developing. Genetic engineering, you know? The last time I went out on the street, I said, oh my god, are these cherries good? Please weigh two pounds of cherries for me! People say, uncle, what’s the look in his eyes? It's tomatoes!

Fan: (laughing...)

Zhao: Let’s go out on the street again the next day. Just tell people directly, weigh two pounds of tomatoes. The man laughed and said, "Uncle, look out, it's a cherry!" Oh my god, I was so embarrassed. My face suddenly turned red, like a tomato.

Hahaha... (the two laugh)

Zhao: Don’t you have a computer at home? Why did you come to the senior citizen activity center to access the Internet?

Fan: (shaking his head) Forget it, my wife is also online, and we are good men and don’t compete with women.

Zhao: Oh, it’s all online?

Fan: No. When I come home every day, my computer is always hot and the boiling water is always cold; her eye circles are always black and her eyeballs are always white; my white socks are always flowery and my black socks are always hard.

Fan: The uncle who raises chickens in my hometown called me and said that chickens have been dying in recent days and he didn’t know what to do. She said, I understand this. The simplest and most effective way is to restart. One of the crabs I soaked in the basin ran away, but she found it behind the refrigerator and said, why did it run away? I know you even when you are on the Internet! When I saw it, it was a big spider. Hey... it's called "offline" when sleeping, "turn on" when getting up, "screensaver" when taking a lunch break, and "clear memory" when going to the toilet...

Zhao: ( Laughing...shaking his head) This is not going to work, we have to "quit the internet".

Fan: Brother, what do you mean by the precepts? We had a fight about this. She said: Why burn bridges? Didn't you use the "search" function to find me? I said, do you think I'm looking for you? I am \"search\" Maggie Cheung. You are linked!

Zhao: You have to stop. This is "sinking into the deep bottom of the Internet." If you don't dig up, sooner or later something will happen. Leaving is always cruel. You have to be ruthless and determined!

Fan: Brother, do you think this is okay? I am going to send her back to the mountains of my hometown. The place was remote and there were no other nets except spider webs and fishing nets.

Zhao: OK, why not. I don't believe it. She can enter "Insect World" by connecting the computer to a spider web, or "Finding Nemo" by connecting it to a fishing net?

Fan: That’s settled. Oh my god, now it’s better, I can surf the Internet at home from now on! !

Zhao: Don’t talk anymore, it’s better to seize the time and go to the Internet cafe for a while. I went up to fill the water. I had been diving for the past few days and I was getting sick.

Fan: Brother, don’t you want to chat?

Zhao: Let’s chat, why don’t we chat. His online name is "So handsome that I want to be disfigured."

Fan: Oh, brother, this is a good name. My name is a little bit rustic, "Xiaohong", and the information says: Female, eighteen. Don't look at the information, look at the results.

Zhao: Yes, look at the effect of chatting! This information is fake. At this age, this size, and "Xiao Hong", Lao Hong in "Railway Guerrillas" is younger than you!

Fan: Yes, that is, otherwise the network is virtual.

Zhao: That’s not the case. Haven't I been chatting with "Brigitte Lin's sister" recently? The chat has been very interesting.

Fan: Brigitte Lin’s sister?

Zhao: Yes, her online name is "Brigitte Lin's sister".

(Scene 3): At home, Gao is facing the computer.

Gao: The sample is so handsome that it makes you want to be disfigured. It’s already miserable enough without it being disfigured. I know who he is, he's my old man. Look at what’s written in this information: If love is wine, you would be that bottle of Erguotou. No, I have to fix him.

(Scene 4) Senior Activity Center

Zhao: Look, look, we are here as we talk. Oh, look, you have been admiring me for a long time. Can you come out and have a cup of coffee?

Fan: Brother, that’s great. I’m envious, I’m envious. Why don’t I have such a good life?

Zhao: What are you envious of? It might be a dinosaur.

Fan: Then let’s meet her, maybe she’s really a pretty girl, and I’ll make a profit.

Zhao: Meet? Then meet me! Let’s go and meet netizens.

(Scene 5) At the entrance of the village, under the old locust tree. Gao dressed up carefully.

Gao: Look, everyone, do I look like Brigitte Lin’s sister? Well, I'm just a little fatter.

Gao: Look, look, it’s coming.

(Sit high under the tree, Zhao and Fan come up)

Zhao: It seems that you are here early, please wait.

Fan: How about calling her a beauty? This is called being reserved.

(Fan Lala Zhao pointed to the height under the tree. Zhao walked over)

Zhao: Wife, you are not cooking at home, what are you doing here? Go back, go back.

Gao: How do you say this? Didn’t you say that I have never been able to keep up with the development of the times? I also jumped directly from the pig iron era to the E era. This is called a leap of the times, do you understand?

Zhao: Stop talking nonsense and tell me directly, why are you here? Do you know what kind of place this is? This is a place for young people to date.

Gao: I know this is a date place, and I wouldn’t come if it were a crematorium. Let me tell you, I'm here just for a date. (Shyly) I came to date an online friend.

Zhao: (surprised, almost fell down, Fan Fu) What? What? What? Dating online friends? Tell me, who am I going to date? It would be weird if I didn’t kill him. Say, who?

Gao: My netizen is so handsome.

Zhao: Just blow it, just blow it, he might even be so handsome that you want to disfigure him.

Gao: Oh my god, how did you know he was so handsome that he wanted to be disfigured?

Zhao: What did you say? Is he so handsome that he wants to be disfigured?

Gao: Yes, he is so handsome that he wants to be disfigured! !

(Zhao’s legs became weak and Fan pulled him.)

Zhao whispered to Fan: I really saw Brigitte Lin’s sister today. It seems that she is really like her sister. Not born from a mother.

Fan: Brother, what’s going on?

Zhao: How to fix it? Quickly, return to the homepage, encounter a strong enemy, and retreat quickly...

(Zhao and Fan looked like Japanese soldiers, bending over, and sneaking away step by step...Background music: Tunnel battle)

Gao chased after him and shouted: Old man, what are you doing?

Zhao and Fan replied from a distance: He is so handsome that he is disfigured.