The judge asked, "Zane, who are you suing?"

He said, "I want to sue my parents."

"What's the charge?"

"because they gave birth to me."

This is the beginning of the movie "Why Home". The dialogue is short, but it is doomed to make people unable to watch it calmly.

If reincarnation is a lottery ticket, Zane must be the worst person in the world.

He was born in the slums of Beirut, the capital of Lebanon, and lived in an attic made of hollow bricks with his parents and siblings.

At night, the family sleeps in the same bed, separated by a curtain, with parents having sex on one side and seven children huddled together on the other.

Everyday life, if it is still a life, is to work in a grocery store, help unload goods, deliver gas and sell drinks on the roadside to make money.

In the gray street, he ran wildly, fought, swore and smoked with the wild children, and then went home to help his parents cook drugs.

The gentlest words he has ever heard since he was a child are, "Go away, son of a bitch" and "Go away, you garbage".

Like an animal, no one cares about him, even his parents can't remember his birthday.

at the age of 12, he has understood that life is a bitch and a pile of shit, and he has learned to face this shit with a numb expression. Only when the school bus full of students passes by, his eyes will show a trace of envy. He has never been to school.

In the evening, he climbed onto the roof with his sister Saha, leaned together, rapped on the tin bucket and sang songs, looking at the clouds and houses in the distance, which was his favorite thing.

My sister is one year younger than him. Just after menarche, she was eagerly sold by her parents to a grocery store owner as her wife, and she died of pregnancy and bleeding within a few months.

In anger and despair, Zane rushed to the grocery store with a knife, stabbed the bastard boss and was arrested.

People yearn for heaven, but Zane has lived in hell since he was born. This hell is not a movie fiction, but a reality.

The little actor who plays Zane is a Syrian refugee. His original name is Zane, and most of the plot of the film is adapted from his real experience.

Maybe this movie can change Zane's fate, but there are still countless parents who can't support themselves, vent their sexual desire like animals and raise their children like cats and dogs.

The world is so ridiculous. Some people are trying their best to breed because they can't support them, while others are living in reproductive anxiety and vacillating between being born and not being born.

people have to reflect on what kind of fertility concept we should have before we can meet a new life.

1

Not everyone is qualified to be a parent

In court, Zane's father complained bitterly:

Have you ever thought that it's not our fault? I was born and raised like this. What did I do wrong ... Why should I live such a miserable life?

Zane's mother pleaded with tears:

I have been a slave all my life, and you dare to criticize me? What right do you have to criticize me? Are you in my situation? I am my own judge.

Poverty, once their shame, has now become their fig leaf.

Many viewers were biased by these two arguments, which led the root of the tragedy to poverty and war.

but to be honest, I'm really fed up with this so-called profundity and political correctness.

Poverty can't be the reason why you have no heart. Being uneducated doesn't mean that you can't care for your children. Ignorance can't exonerate you from abusing and buying and selling children.

This father, who lies on the sofa all day, has never made any efforts for a better life.

The mother, knowing the darkness and fear her daughter was about to face, sold her to a beast herself.

Even if they can enjoy all kinds of benefits without paying for school, they would rather let Zane continue to work to earn money to support his family than send him to school to read and write.

Poverty is not the curse of children, but such parents are.

In their eyes, children are just tools to make money, and they will squeeze benefits from children like vampires, which is the hateful thing about poor people.

If children are not regarded as parents, why should we agree that they have the right to bear children? This is not a question of money, but a question of good and evil.

blaming poverty and the environment for evading the obligation of support, and understanding that "the poorer you get, the poorer you get" is conniving at the evil of mediocrity.

don't think that this kind of tragedy only happens in poor countries and regions.

In Longgang District, Shenzhen, a pair of baby boys have been crawling around the street for a long time. The elder brother Qiangqiang has just turned three and the younger brother Xiaogang is two.

When they were discovered by the caring volunteers, the two brothers were bruised and bruised, their hands and feet were festering and bleeding, and all the teeth in their mouths were broken. Because of long-term malnutrition, they were swollen all over.

Neighbors said that the father of the child worked outside during the day and disappeared. The mother often tied the child in the house with a rope and went out to play by herself. She had the money to smoke and drink, but she had no money to take the child to see a doctor. Every time the child cried, she added sticks.

despite repeated home help and advice, the child's mother not only refused to cooperate with sending the child to the hospital as soon as possible, but even lied and abused the volunteers, which made her very unstable and delayed the rescue operation several times.

until it caught the media's attention, when interviewed by reporters, the child's father still shirked that he was too busy working to earn money to take care of the child.

in his opinion, buying a bucket of milk powder and keeping it at home is the responsibility of raising it.

Although some children have parents, they live like abandoned children, because for their parents, children are just the product of sexual impulse and a burden to get rid of.

The bottom line for parents is to give their children adequate food and clothing, protect them and love them even if they are poor.

Some people don't deserve to be parents, not because of the lack of material conditions, but because they don't want to make any efforts for their children.

Being forced and powerless is just an excuse to escape punishment when their misdeeds are exposed.

"People who can't support their children should not be born again" is not a superficial look down on poverty in a certain class, but a responsibility for another life.

2

Not everyone has to be a parent

Mom: "God took one thing from you and will give you another."

Zane: "What did God bring you?"

Mom: "I am pregnant again. You will have a younger brother or sister. I hope it is a girl. When you get out of prison, she can walk and play. We will name her Saha."

Zane: "You are a cruel and heartless woman."

In prison, Zane felt desperate when he learned that his mother was pregnant again and planned to call the child after his dead sister.

Because in his view, the mother gave birth not to hope, but to despair, a desperate child like him.

"Children are the continuation of life, the inheritance of life, the bond of family and the future"-

This is just a bowl of chicken soup, but many people can't let go of their obsession with childbearing, desperately want a child, and forget about real problems such as life, health, parenting ability and economic conditions.

In 216, Metropolis Express reported a story about "At the age of 61, she gave birth to a son at the risk of her life", telling the story of how a 61-year-old woman gave birth to a baby boy with the help of a doctor from Zhejiang University Women's Hospital after her daughter died.

As soon as the news came out, at 8 o'clock the next morning, the clinic area of Zhejiang University Women's Hospital was crowded with older sisters born after 5 s and 6 s.

The oldest one is 63 years old. Because her 3-year-old daughter didn't want to think about having a baby, the aunt came up with the idea of having another baby herself.

There is also a 53-year-old elder sister whose daughter is studying at a university in other places. She is idle at home and wants to have a second child. She has visited all the specialist clinics in Zhejiang University Women's Hospital, but none of the doctors advised her to have one.

But she is still persistent. Every time she goes to the clinic, she will bring a lot of literature to refute the experts' opinions.

In some people's eyes, children are like a panacea, which can eliminate disasters and solve problems, clear up life puzzles, resolve family conflicts and realize life dreams.

So we often hear this kind of statement-

"The relationship between husband and wife is not harmonious? It would be nice to have a baby ";

"immature personality, lack of responsibility? It would be nice to have a baby ";

"Life is confused and there is no ambition? It would be nice to have a baby ";

"Too weak? It would be nice to have a baby ";

"midlife crisis? It would be nice to have a baby "...

Many Dink families are often labeled as" only thinking about themselves ",but in fact, many people who have children are also thinking about themselves.

Because childbirth is a personal choice, it is excessively praised. Under the collective unconscious, having children seems to be an inevitable topic in life. Too many people become parents in order to become parents.

In the second season of the documentary "On Earth", in order to give birth to a son, Lin Qin, an elderly woman, walked in the gate of hell once. She cut off her uterus and gave out 1, ml of blood, which is equivalent to changing the blood in her body three times.

Wu Ying, a high-risk parturient with severe congenital heart disease, was forced to have a cesarean section and gave birth prematurely. As soon as the child was born, the mother and son were pushed to different intensive care units, and she passed away before she could have a look at the child.

Before deciding to give birth, the doctor told countless painful cases and kept warning them that "talking to the death" still failed to stop them from giving birth.

But in the face of these bloody efforts, it is really hard for us to shout "maternal love is great", because it is equivalent to using maternal love to bind more women who are not suitable for childbirth to fight hard.

Actually, not everyone has to be a parent, and our life doesn't necessarily need to be complete by having children.

3

Being a parent who can bring happiness to children

In How to Be Home, Zane's mother is a contradictory combination. She blames everything on poverty, and even thinks that children have caused a tragedy in her life, but she keeps saying that she loves them.

When people praise the birth of life, they are always sublimed along with the reproductive risks and parenting responsibilities they bear for their own choices.

In some people's eyes, giving children life is the greatest gift and dedication.

Therefore, when parents are dissatisfied with their children, they often say, "Do you know how much I suffered when I gave birth to you/how much I have paid for you?"

When choosing to be a parent, it actually means giving and sacrificing. Without giving, there is no breeding and raising. This is a responsibility that must be borne, not a child's debt.

If you don't take sacrifice and dedication into consideration in advance, you won't realize that you have lost your freedom and delayed your career until the child is born, and you will bury your hostility towards the child and project your resentment into the process of raising.

My friend A-Ming grew up in her mother's resentment against him.

From childhood to adulthood, every time he disobeyed, his mother would count them in tears:

Since he was pregnant, he was sent home by the unit leader to wait for employment;

It was difficult to give birth to him, and his blood pressure was so high that people around him had four double images, which almost passed.

Later, in order to take care of him, the family closed all the good businesses;

I haven't bought designer clothes since I had him.

In order to save money for his future education, he didn't even dare to invest in real estate, and missed a great opportunity ...

He even said, "I can't wait to put you back in my stomach."

Mother's complaints and tears are very effective. Since childhood, A-ming is a "child of other people's family".

I got good grades and was obedient. I was successfully admitted to universities in neighboring provinces according to my mother's wishes, and I was admitted to civil servants in my hometown and provincial capital according to my mother's wishes.

The unit is only an hour's drive from home, but he seldom goes home. His relationship with his mother is very cold, saying that her mother is like a creditor.

Now he has satisfied all her vanity and fantasy, and what should be returned has been finished. The biggest regret in this life is that he didn't live according to his wishes in the first 24 years of his life.

I don't know how many children have similar experiences with Amin, and these grievances are bound to be the shadow of their growth.

This is why so many children are waiting for their parents to apologize, while parents are waiting for their children to be grateful.

Before we decide to be parents, should we confirm:

Do we love ourselves too much to give up our freedom, career and quality of life? Are you really willing to take the responsibility of giving birth to life and pay for it?

I don't know if you have noticed that, in many cases, it is not children who need their parents, but parents who need their children.

Many children are born with a lot of things.

A few days ago, I met a girl who studied piano at a poetry reading party. She said that because her parents' generation were all musicians and were born in such a family, she had no other choice.

At an early age, my parents sent me to learn the piano, went to the middle school attached to the Conservatory of Music, and then they sent me abroad for further study.

Every time I get together with my friends, even if I have a meal in a restaurant 5 meters away from home, my father will watch her go home downstairs.

this kind of love and expectation makes her feel suffocated.

Because children are given life, many people take it for granted that children represent themselves and carry their own expectations for the future, and kidnap their lives with love and blood relationship.

Before becoming parents, we should understand that children have their own lives.

As a parent, what we can do is to accompany and support him, bring him to feel the world, and try our best to give them a happy and happy growth environment, rather than let them grow into what we expect.

I remember an episode in "There are children at home", in which Liu Xing asked her mother, "Who gave birth to you? Did you have my consent?"

I believe many people have told their parents this sentence when they were young, but no one will take it seriously.

In How to Be Home, when this sentence appeared in front of us again in an extremely cruel way, it caused us to think deeply.

It shows us that the bottom line of parents is to treat children as human beings.

But the hardest thing for parents is to treat their children as human beings.

In recent years, family of origin and parent-child relationship have been popular, and I feel that many unhappy children and disappointed parents suddenly appear in this world.

We keep talking about family education and educational ideas, but seldom think that the root cause may be that there is something wrong with our concept of fertility.

When it comes to fertility, we always talk about the patriarchal society, women's rights and interests, material foundation and fertility system ... As for children, let's talk about it later.

however, how can you be a family if you are born without raising and raising without teaching?

In fact, whether you are qualified to be a parent is often not considered from material conditions and environmental factors, but depends on how you look at a new life.

At the end of the film, there is a subtitle, which is not comforting, but written to parents and those who are going to become parents:

May every brave child be gentle by the world.