Jokes about music

Lullaby

Composer: "It took me 10 years to write this lullaby."

Publisher: "Why does it take so long?"

Composer: "Because it keeps making me fall asleep."

Getting back my life

A: "Music saved my life during the flood this time. Music is so precious!"

B: "Oh! Did someone hear your beautiful singing and come to save you?"

A: "No, when I was washed away by the flood, my piano happened to float over, so I climbed up

."

It was important to escape.

The symphony orchestra was rehearsing the last section of Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring".

The conductor told everyone his understanding of each part of the music: soft and beautiful The French horn symbolizes the running peasant girl, while the loud trombone and trumpet represent the chasing wild man.

When he raised his baton, a sentence came from the French horn: "Master, don't you

mind if we play this part faster?"

Undisturbed

An Irishman came back from a trip to London. His neighbor asked him how he was doing. He said:

"Londoners are so weird. They are always around you at night. Knocking hard on the door and wall!"

"What should you do?"

"I will continue to play my bagpipe without being disturbed."

Listen to whom

At the music party, a famous singer was singing. At this time, an audience member sang along with vibrato.

"Really like a cow!" her neighbor said angrily.

"Who? Is it me?" the man asked quickly.

"No, it's not you, it's this singer. She interfered with our appreciation of your singing voice."

Willing to die

There is a king who loves the most He plays the piano, but he plays it very badly. As soon as he plays the piano, everyone runs away. The emperor searched the entire court, but could not find a confidant.

He issued an imperial edict and pulled a death row prisoner from prison. The emperor said to him: "As long as you say

that the piano I play is good, I will spare you from death."

The death row prisoner thought: "Isn't this simple?" So, He agreed to listen to the emperor play the piano.

However, not long after the king played the bullet, the prisoner on death row covered his ears with his hands and shouted: "Your Majesty, no

will play, I am willing to die!"

Baffled

A judge took his young son to a concert at the Paris Theater. A soprano singer was singing a passionate song.

"Dad, why did the man threaten the woman with his stick?" the child asked.

"It's not a threat, he is the conductor of the band."

"If it's not a threat, then why is she shouting so loudly?"

Close

When Cyril visited his least favorite nephew's house, he had to listen to his nephew

play the piano, and at the end of the song his nephew asked: "What do you think? "

Cyril replied: "You should be on TV"

His nephew said happily: "Do you think I play well?"

"No," Cyril said, "If you were on TV, I could turn it off."

The Lullaby of Failure

Anne: "I The concert was a complete failure!"

Jim: "You can't say that, didn't you see the audience applauding so happily?"

Annie? : "It is this burst of too warm applause that makes me sad. What I hope is that the audience

will fall into a dream, seem to be awake but not awake, swaying from side to side, humming and haha..."

Jim: "Why?"

Annie: "Honey, I sang a lullaby.

"

Who is the most suitable

A woman discussed with her husband: "I want to put a statue of a music master on the piano.

Look at Mozart, Who is the most suitable among Beethoven and Liszt? "

The husband replied: "Of course it is Beethoven. "

She asked happily: "Why? "

"Because he is deaf. ”

Music that dogs don’t understand

Thompson’s wife recently became very happy and went to the street to buy a violin and take it home

Learn to play The "squeaking" noise annoyed Thompson so much. One day, the little dog in the house also started barking.

Thompson became bold. Said to his wife:

“Honey, can you pick a piece of music that dogs can’t understand and practice it? "

The benefits of learning music

James proudly said to his friend: "My daughter is learning vocal music, which makes me so happy

"

“Why, was it she who made you hear the beautiful singing voice? ”

“You can’t believe it, she helped me buy a neighbor’s house, and the price was half the price.

The family had moved away the day before yesterday. "

Great progress

"Our daughter has made great progress in practicing her voice. "Mrs. Xiaoke said to her friend.

"Did the tone improve? ”

“I’m talking mainly about volume. In the past, only people from this floor came to complain, but now residents from several nearby buildings have come to complain. "

Quiet

One day Dupont went to a concert, and a woman next to him was chattering non-stop. Beetho

At the climax of Fen's symphony , she suddenly said to Dupont: "Ah! Sir, do you think there is anything more beautiful than music? "

"Yes, ma'am. He replied, "Quiet!" "

A blockbuster

Outside the examination room of the Conservatory of Music, a young girl stopped the examiner.

"Mr. Professor, don't you believe that my singing voice can Will it be a blockbuster one day? ”

“Of course, miss. When you are attacked. "

Listen to music

Little John and his uncle sat in the concert hall together and listened to music.

Uncle: "Do you know music? ”

John: “Of course I understand.” "

Uncle: "Tell me, what is that girl playing now? "

John: "Piano. ”

Thank you!