1 A girl in the first grade of high school once said~~The road I walk takes more salt than you eat~

2 The fish at home died and floated to the surface. I shouted: "Dad is up!!!"

3 Last weekend, in front of the Hualian Gate, a student-looking person asked me to donate money and show my love. My classmate happened to have only 100 yuan in notes in her pocket, and no change at all, so she blurted out - "I'm so sorry, I really don't have any love at all!" (I originally wanted to say that there was no change at all)

4 Primary school students went to a condolence performance for the troops. The counselor read out a letter "Dear Leaders." Perhaps seeing a crowd of people in the audience, his mind became excited and he said: "Dear Martyrs!"

5 When I was discussing the Three Kingdoms with a classmate of mine!

I asked the general among the Three Kingdoms who he liked best. He stood up and said: "The red rabbit is among men, and Lu Bu is among horses. Haven't you heard?"

6 Go home On the road, I saw a small stall selling small turtles, and a small sign was erected next to it to attract business. I just heard my classmate read seriously to the small blackboard: "Brazil-xi-little-color-electricity!" Hao...it's obviously a Brazilian little colorful turtle.

7 When I was in college, I went to a Sichuan restaurant with my classmates. When ordering, I ordered a portion of pork head. After talking for a long time, the waitress couldn’t understand. As soon as the classmate smiled, she pointed at her head with her finger. , said to the waitress: "Here! Pig head meat!" The lady: "Oh... I understand!" From then on, this man was nicknamed "Pig Head meat".

8 When I was in junior high school, once, before the exam was over, the teacher said: Please put your desk on the test paper and you can go out. I laughed wildly, and it took a long time for the teacher and other students to react.

9 Once I was shopping with my friends, and I was so excited while chatting that I stepped on an aunt. I originally wanted to say: "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" but I ended up saying "Thank you! Thank you. !" Then walked away while chatting...

10 The sisters in our dormitory also often make these mistakes

Because we are studying Chinese, we always say four

Her most classic is "jumping to death from the building"

and "being cheated and deceived"

11 When I was in high school, our class teacher said However, "Some students dare not take a ruler when taking a math test. What if they ask you to draw diagonals for a triangle? What will you do!"

Diagonal lines for a triangle? ! !

12 When I was in college, I went to Hengshan. I was half way up the mountain and was about to take a break when I was tired. I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs on the roadside. I went up and asked, "My wife." ........"

13 Add one: One morning at work, several employees of the unit entered the elevator together with the boss. One of the department directors looked at the boss's tired face and said flatteringly : Boss, you work like this every day, it’s so hard! (You should be working on everything every day) As a result, the office building was filled with laughter all day long.

14 I used to always have pimples on my face. Medically speaking, it is called acne. I wanted to go to the hospital for a checkup. I took the registration slip and said to the doctor: "Doctor, please help me take a look. I have hemorrhoids on my face!!"

The doctor's mouth and eyes were crooked at that time. , his mouth was open for a long time and he couldn't speak. All the people treating the doctor next to him collapsed!

15 When the plane lands. I heard the stewardess say this in a very gentle tone: "The toilet is descending, please do not get on the plane!" (It should be: "The plane is descending, please do not use the toilet")

15 The end of the primary school class meeting One is to sing the team song "We are the successors of communism..." The teacher asked the monitor to start. The class monitor cleared his throat and suddenly sang: "We are human beings - (with a long note)"

The whole class laughed so much that even Suzuki heard it after class. . .

16 High school requires the wearing of school uniforms. Sometimes we boys only wear school uniform tops. During a gathering, a classmate’s school uniforms were not neatly worn. The class teacher was furious: "Everyone who is not wearing pants, stand up for me..." !"

17 I remember when I was in junior high school, I went to play by the river (Yangtze River). Suddenly a water snake swam to the shore. The girl next to me changed her face and said: What a long snake~~~! !

18 Let’s play chicken and catch eaglets

19 When I was in high school, my class teacher taught geography. Once in class, we talked about my country’s mineral resources and coal pipelines. Our teacher said "my country's vas deferens...", all the "swipes" who crawled on the table and slept straightened up

20 Once, I went to eat dumplings, and the boss said there were 5 yuan and 6 yuan dumplings. It’s 10 yuan. Which one do I want?

I blurted out: How much is 6 yuan?

The boss is very cold. ． ． My face turned red at that time. ． ．

Actually, I want to ask how many are worth 6 yuan?

21 My friend’s high school mathematics teacher taught the Cartesian coordinate system in class.

The students asked: Why are the Cartesian coordinates built like this?

Teacher: I am so mean (build), I want to be so mean (build)

22 When I was taking VB class in my freshman year, a classmate did not have VB software installed on her computer, and she suddenly raised I shouted with my hand: Teacher, teacher, my QQ cannot be opened

23 I have a classmate who is a twin and he is the elder brother. Then another idiot classmate actually asked him: "Is your brother older than you or younger?" Are you young?"... A few classmates nearby were stunned immediately, followed by a burst of laughter...

24 When I was in high school, the school required girls to wear uniforms to school on the first day. There were activities. The weather was not good the next day. The girls brought their school uniforms to school. Some boys were not wearing any clothes and felt cold so they put on the girls' uniforms. The math teacher looked at the class and said: "The boys took off all the girls' clothes." ",...

The whole class was speechless and burst into laughter for 10 minutes...

25 Last time I had a meal with my friends, I ordered 5 dishes, one of which was cold. The four hot ones. After waiting for a long time, the food didn't arrive, so my friend asked, "How many dishes did we order?" I blurted out: "Four are cold and one is cold," "Binhan

26 Ah, there are still some in the air conditioner. elevator!

27 During the college entrance examination, a classmate was highly myopic, so he memorized the test form with E’s written all over it, but he still failed. We asked him what was wrong, and he said: I can’t see clearly. Where is the doctor's baton? . Fainted on the spot.

28 Last time I returned to the dormitory after squatting in the pit, and as soon as I stepped through the dormitory door, I heard my dormitory classmate say: "I really want to taste death (shit)." (What movie was he watching at the time)

I immediately replied: "If you didn't tell me earlier, I just rushed."

29 The boss of our dormitory once said: Take medicine and take injections.

30 Once when I was staying at an Internet cafe for a night out, after I was killed in CS, I suddenly shouted, MD picked up a bullet without a gun, and the people in the Internet cafe laughed to death...

31 Once, a buddy went to buy meat buns and said to the boss: "Boss, give me two pieces of meat." The little girl next to her suppressed her face until she turned red and did not dare to laugh

32 Another time, a buddy asked me what I had for lunch. I said rice noodles, and he asked how much they cost. I said there were big and small bowls, and after introducing the prices, the buddy said this: "A big bowl or a big bowl?" "Small bowl is big" actually comes with a look of confusion...

33 When I was in junior high school, the class teacher had a huge bt. Each of us is asked to bring plastic straps to contain our own trash. One day at noon, the head teacher came back and saw that the classroom was dirty. He stood on the podium and said loudly: Take out all your grenades! ! ! ! (Said in a vicious tone) The whole class was in total silence. . . . . . . .

34 A high school mathematics teacher once said: "Although this solution is not very rigorous, it is not a bad thing if everyone can use this method during the exam.

"

35 It was a hot summer day in junior high school, and some boys were shirtless in the last row of the classroom. As soon as the chemistry teacher entered the room, he said sternly: "You boys and girls are not allowed to go shirtless to me!" ”

The whole class burst into laughter

36 One time I was riding a double-decker bus in the summer, and the conductor took a microphone and shouted: “It’s hot in the sky, everyone, please don’t crowd the door!” After saying that, I thought for a moment that something was wrong, so I changed my words and shouted: "It's hot and crowded, so don't crowd at the door!" ”

37 In high school, there were two people, A and B

A covered B’s eyes and asked: Guess who I am?

B said : I guessed it~!!

A said again: Ah, you guessed it right.

Then he took his hand and walked away

38 I was in the school dining room During the meal, I ordered a dish of cucumbers. I found that the cucumbers were stale and a little yellow, so I said: "Master, why are the cucumbers turning yellow?" The master said loudly: "Classmate, are the cucumbers still green?!!" I'm speechless 1

39 I remember that drinking fountains were just popular in high school, and the school decided to equip each class with one in order to create a reputation. That day, the head teacher (male) hurried into the class and said happily: "Classmates, we The class water dispenser has arrived." The classmate asked casually: "What brand is it? ", the teacher replied: "An'erle". We were so cold at that time... Later we found out that the water dispenser belonged to "Angel"...

40 I remember that there was Once, I was talking to my colleagues in the office about someone who looked like a farmer, earthy, naive, and very cute. Everyone said yes, he looked like a farmer. Suddenly the phone rang, and the colleague who answered the phone actually said, Hello, farmer! ~

41 One day I was reading "Muslim Funeral" in the dormitory, and my classmate asked, "What book are you so fascinated by?" "As he said, he grabbed it and read: "Stalin's Funeral". I burst out laughing. Before I could finish laughing, he said, "Hey, hey, the author is Radar (Hoda). We happened to be learning radar avoidance at that time. During the class, I laughed so much that my stomach hurt.

42 When I was writing a composition when I was a child, I wrote: Our lives were bought with the blood of our uncles from the People’s Liberation Army. As a result, when I got up and recited, I read "Our lives are bought by uncles from the People's Liberation Army with fresh fish..."

43 One student changed the text "Wang Erxiao brought the enemy into the Eighth Route Army" "Ambush circle" is pronounced as "Wang Erxiao led the Eighth Route Army into the enemy's ambush circle"...

44 My mother has cervical spondylosis and applies medicine to her neck every day. One day I asked her: "You Do you need to apply medicine on your neck? "My mother stared at me with puzzled eyes and said, "I haven't planned to commit suicide yet! "

45 The last time I went out with my friends, I happened to see McDull (Pink Pig) in the lottery of the unit activity the day before yesterday in front of a window on the road. I said to my friend in the bus: "Look! , I am that big pink pig. "Actually, I want to say that what I picked up yesterday was the pig. I was so excited that everyone on the bus looked at me!

46 I remember when I was in school, there was a sports meeting, and no girls in our class signed up. Our sports committee member (boys) was very anxious. He took the registration form and announced to the whole class: I tell you, girls, if you don't register, you will be "forced to register".

47 Once my mother’s classmate came to my house for dinner. After finishing a bowl, my mother wanted to serve her another bowl. She said, don’t serve it to me, I don’t have enough...

48 One time, I gave it to her. My classmate called me, and the other person picked up the phone and said hello. I suddenly forgot who I was calling, and after talking for a long time, I said: Who are you?

49 I was chatting with friends at a gathering. When someone was sad, "tears turned red and eye circles fell down". No one in the audience reacted, and afterwards he went home and laughed.

50 Once I was watching Shanghai TV's Good Morning Shanghai, the host blurted out: : After the commercial, don’t come back. ^_^ It seems that the commercial is so annoying that even the host can’t stand it.

51 A new clerk memorizes formulas in everything he does. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said: "I'll charge you xx yuan. I'll give you xx yuan. Do you need a straw?" ? The old lady fainted immediately...

52 When I was in primary school and could not read well, my classmate pronounced Shenji Miaoshu as Shenji (machine) stir-fried garlic (calculation)

53 I’ll do it too. When I was in primary school, the teacher asked a boy to recite a poem, but in a hurry, he recited it as “The wine and meat smells bad, and there are dogs (bones) frozen to death on the road.” "The whole class laughed like crazy

54 Another time, when I was sleeping at night in winter, the temperature of the electric blanket was probably too high, so I said to my classmates, "Hey, please turn on the electric blanket to keep it fresh.

55 A few days ago, when the United States was fighting in Iraq, my classmate and I were going back to school. His mother said: The train is too slow. You two should take the Iraqi (Ivek) car and we will faint on the spot. .

In early 1956, a group of us went to visit relatives in other places. We took an Ivek car. When we came back, we stopped on the side of the road for a while before getting on the highway. A few people thought it was a long-distance bus. I came over to ask, and someone sitting by the window in the car shouted: This is not a car for pulling people, this is not a car for pulling people! Sweating

57 Go buy a "Pulse" drink,

"Boss, get a bottle of 'Artery'"

Singing at the age of 58: Imperialism ran away with its tail between its legs, and the people of the whole country are united

I sing, the people of the whole country have their tail between their legs. I ran away with my tail and the whole class was in chaos

59 That day, when I just entered the office, this plmm yelled at me: "Xiao Wang, have you bought the newspaper? Let me read today's special issue on sexual intercourse." "I fainted on the spot. Even if everyone talks about "houses and houses" all day long, you can't pronounce "house affairs special issue" as "sexual affairs special issue"!

60 The teacher asked me to translate in high school English class An English sentence is: An arrow whistled past my ear. I confused the word "arrow" with "sparrow", so the translation became: A sparrow whistled past my ear. . So the whole class laughed and failed to do even a single lesson.

61 When I was in the third grade of junior high school, there was a very pretty chemistry teacher. One day, she mentioned the airway tube. The whole class burst into laughter!

62 Chinese teacher in class: Chinese multiple-choice question: Students, why don’t you choose a, yes, because a is wrong; why not choose b, yes, because b is incorrect; why not choose c? Yes, because c is incorrect, so this question should be chosen? Yes, let’s talk about the next question. He drank and said, "Where's the black Xu sesame paste?" " (My surname is Xu)

64 My roommate spent the whole night looking for her facial mask. When we finally discussed going to Peking University to eat chicken wings, another roommate shouted: "I want to go to Peking University to eat facial masks."

65 I went to eat shabu-shabu with my roommate. When I walked to the door of the store, my roommate looked at the name of the store and said, "Shut up?" " (The name of the store is Shabu Shabu Bar)

66 In Bing Xin's "Little Orange Lamp", there are orange segments one by one, and the students read "the orange segments one by one"

67 When the criminal law teacher was talking about the case, he said: "The blood was flowing in a stream at that time. From the first floor to the second floor, it was like a river of blood..."

68 It was still the case class of the criminal law teacher. : "That person threatens the victim, burns your house, and blows up your intestines (I think he wants to say factory)

69 My former math teacher once said while drawing a picture in class: "This This is the X-axis, this is the Y-axis, I put a P here." Wow Kaka

70 Last time I asked the teacher for leave

The result was: Teacher, I want to treat you. .....

Tianyu staff: Chunchun, you are going to be interviewed by a newspaper tomorrow. They want to take pictures of you as you are, so you don’t need to put on makeup, just dress cleanly.

Chunchun: Oh, okay.

The next day. I saw Chunchun wearing a brand new, pure white, Nike T-shirt.

There is also a pair of converse sneakers that her cousin just bought for her. They are also pure white and have not been worn at all. And, really, no makeup at all. The little guy asked the staff seriously: "Is this clean enough?"

Staff:. . . . Enough is enough, it is indeed very clean.

1. The only difference between me and Superman is: I wear underwear inside.

2. I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

3. I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world...

4. Follow other people's paths and leave others with nowhere to go.

5. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for 19 years!

6. I would rather believe that there are ghosts in the world than believe in a man’s bad mouth!

7. If the water is extremely clear, there will be no fish; if the people are extremely humble, they will be invincible.

8. The one riding the white horse may not be a prince, he may be Tang Monk; the one with wings may not be an angel - my mother said, it is a birdman.

9. Time is the same as cleavage, if you squeeze it there will still be some.

10. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female.

11. Don’t be careless about an animal that bleeds for a week and still survives...

12. I, a college student, have goals in life: a peasant woman, a mountain spring, and some farmland.

13. Women remember: they must eat well, have fun, sleep well and drink well. Once we are exhausted, other women will spend our money, stay in our room, sleep with our husband, have sex with our boyfriend, and even beat our children.

14. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn I harvested many handsome men. Then I changed the name of the village to "Handsome Guy Village", and I got my wish and became the village chief.

15. One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty...

16. I have made great progress in losing weight. Success, look, all three of my chins are pointed!

17. The trouble with chocolate is: when you eat it, it’s gone.

18. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

19. If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune.

20. A big belly is not scary. What is scary is that it is big and empty.

21. The biggest advantage of going on a blind date is that if there are problems in your marriage in the future, you can shift the responsibility to the matchmaker.

22. If a woman shows herself to be generous first, then a man will not dare to be stingy.

23. People are born on the bed and die on the bed. If they want to live or die, they are also on the bed.

24. Wizard, please tell the princess that I am still on the road of overcoming thorns and thorns. There are still snow-capped mountains that have not been climbed, rivers that have not been crossed, dragons that have not been killed, and beautiful women that have not been bathed... Tell her to continue sleeping!

25. My crush is a stunning beauty, and one day she will come to me riding a fire-breathing dinosaur. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but not its owner.

26. If a tree doesn’t want its bark, it will surely die; if a person doesn’t have shame, it will be invincible.

27. Do nothing but do nothing, do nothing but do nothing. (Dai Jianwei)

28. The true meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food to eat in one place, but to have food to eat wherever you go throughout your life. (Su Mei)

29. The saucy will return to the saucy, and the saucy will have the chastity of the saucy; the lowly will return to the lowly, and the lowly will have the dignity of the lowly.

30. If eating more fish can make people smarter, then I must have eaten at least a pair of whales...

31. Success in life does not lie in getting a good pair of fish. cards, but how to play bad cards well.

He made his debut at the age of 32.0, and he is making progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals; at the age of 30, you work hard to achieve your goals. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. I play mahjong when I am 60 years old, and hang out everywhere when I am 70 years old.

The 80-year-old Lala lives at home, and the 90-year-old hangs it on the wall!

33. When you were born, you cried and everyone smiled; when you left, you smiled and everyone cried.

34. Stand taller and pee farther.

35. Wear other people’s shoes, walk your own path, and let them find it.

36. In a few decades, we will meet, be sent to the crematorium, and burn to ashes. You will be in a pile, I will be in a pile, no one knows each other, and we will all be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer. .

37. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

38. You can’t have both fish and bras.

39. Experts look at doorways, laymen look at sidewalks.

40. If you don’t want wildflowers on the roadside, step on them!

41. I met a girl with a personalized signature: She doesn’t know how to play chess, calligraphy and painting, but she is tired of doing laundry and cooking.

42. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

43. Encountered an old Shaanxi’s signature: Ugly girls tend to make mischief, black buns tend to pick up vegetables

44. Encountered our teacher’s signature: Let me tell you that the teacher is very angry now. The consequences were serious (after his Nth blind date failed).

45. Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case.

46. The personal signature of a love saint: What you have said does not count, the person you like changes every day.

47. When you meet the sleeping king in the class, his signature is: three full meals in the morning, noon and evening, and six empty stomachs before and after meals.

48. Offline on time at 12 midnight! Otherwise, the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

49. Hello, is this China Mobile? My name is China Unicom and my PHS is broken. Can you send China Railway Telecom to fix it?

50. I am an academician of the Advanced Diving Academy of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, a Nobel Prize for long-term disconnection, and an Oscar for lifetime invisibility...

51. I wish to be a winged bird in the sky, and a fellow traveler on earth. pig!

52. Don’t worry, I’ve lost my appetite when I see you, so what’s the point of talking about sexual desire!

53. Although I am sleeping naked, I can plug and play...

54. Five horses are quartering - do you want a piece?

55. God said: "Let there be light." I said: "No!" So we had dark night.

56. I pinned the KONKA TV remote control to my waistband and pretended to have bought a new NOKIA mobile phone.

57. I think I would enjoy the morning if it came later.

58. I can’t give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

59. Life is so fucking fun, because life keeps fucking playing with me.

60. Buddha said: "It takes 500 looks back in the past life in exchange for one passing by in this life." I would rather exchange one passing by in the next life in exchange for 500 looking back in this life

61. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

62. I am an actor, and my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl...

63. The reason why angels can fly is because they take themselves very lightly...

p>

64 I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late...

65. Oh my god! My clothes are slimming again.

66. I only believe in two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

67. Don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay? (Recommended by Aini)

68. As far as your thoughts go, get out of here!

69. The hooligans are not scary, but the hooligans are educated.

70. Guests, please respect yourself, this little girl only sells herself but not her art.

71. You can’t satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human!

72. A man’s lies can deceive a woman for a night, and a woman’s lies can deceive a man for a lifetime!

73. If you cannot put your woman into a wedding dress, then never stop unbuttoning her clothes!

74. Go the way of NB and let SB have the say!

75. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

76. Zi said on the river: "It would be great to have a boat!"

77. Driving is not difficult, I'm afraid there are new people!

78. We are looking for little girls, and we will come with you to fill the water; I will fill the head of the Yangtze River, and you will fill the tail of the Yangtze River.

79. Love at first sight will fade away again and again, and will be exhausted after three.

80. A person is not alone, he is only lonely when he wants to be alone.

81. Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

82. If I could see my back, I think it must be very sad, because I left all my happiness in front.

2. Many things will have their own differences when cooked. There are all kinds of flavors... So cooking?#123; has always been very particular.

But... on the contrary... there is something; if you take it and freeze it, it will be more fragrant. . What is it?

Electricity.

Because... Refrigerator-gt; Electricity-Ice-(fragrance)...

3. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink... coffee...

Because...(Car)-(fly)

4. We A bear without a tail is called a koala, so what kind of bear do we call a bear without a penis?

The answer is a female bear, because a female bear does not have a penis to begin with

5. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bun~ After eating a meatball, it turned into a steamed bun~

6. Once upon a time, there was a 5-rare steak and a 7-rare steak. Why didn’t they say hello when they met on the street? Ah?

Because: They are not familiar with each other...

7.Q: One day, the bird flew from Kaohsiung to Taipei for an hour. But it took 2 hours to get back! WHY?

Because it was raining! So you have to cover the rain with one hand and fly with the other.

8. Q: Which chicken is the fastest in the world? What kind of chicken is slow?

A: KFC Chicken Nuggets (fast)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

9. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl Said: "Why does the plane fly so high without hitting the stars?"

The little girl replied: "I know, because the stars will 'flicker'!"

10 .Excuse me: Who gave me Wangqing Shui?

Answer: Aha~~~

Reason: "Aha, give me a glass of love-free water~~~~"

11.Q: What animal Most likely to be posted on the wall?

A: Poster Leopard

12.Q: Who will help you refill your meal when you are full?

A: Flying dragon, because the flying dragon is added to the (sky)

13. Which one is dumb: the stars, the moon, or the sun?

The stars, because: there is a sentence in Lu Binghua's song " The stars in the sky don’t speak

14. What’s the last name of the pencil?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencil

15. Which cartoon character is always in the dark?

Tinker Bell (Doraemon) because he couldn’t see his hands

16. 4 people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police take away 5 people?

Four people were playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take away five people?

Because the person they were playing was called "Mahjong"

17. Xiao Ming: "You know?" What is the name of Muhammad Ali’s father? Ruobing: "I don't know." Xiao Ming: "Idiot!" Of course it’s called Alibaba.

”

18. Ming: “Do you know what mosquitoes don’t bite? Ruobing: "I don't know." Xiao Ming: "Of course it's jelly, jelly pudding!" Ha ha! "

19.4. The mother of (birth) is called Huami! What is the name of the mother of (flower) - Miaobi, because (Miaobi gives birth to flowers)

20. Let me tell you something Touching story

Get out of here! (The story of chasing people away

21. There is a family. The whole family is very lazy...

Dad calls mom. When mom doesn't want to do it, she asks her eldest sister to do it. If her eldest sister doesn't want to do it, she asks her younger sister to do it...

But if my younger sister doesn't want to do it either, she asks the puppy to do it...

Yes One day a guest came to the house... and found the puppy doing housework...

I was very surprised... and asked the puppy: "Puppy... can you do housework...?!"

The puppy said: "There is no way...they don't do it, so they ask me to do it..."

The guest was even more surprised...: "You can talk...!! !!"

Puppy: "Shh! Keep your voice down...otherwise they know I can talk...and they will ask me to answer the phone...!!"

22. Why do foxes often fall!

Because foxes are very cunning (slippery)

23. A psychology professor said to the conference host: "If you want the women in the meeting They suddenly became quiet, and just asked them a question: "Ladies, who is the oldest among you?" The venue immediately became silent." 24. Woman: "I married the devil. It’s better than marrying you.”

Male: “This is impossible because close relatives are prohibited from marrying.

”

25. Lele ran to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys...throwing peanuts to the monkeys...but there was a monkey who would stuff peanuts into his butt every time...and then take them out to eat...Lele felt I was so disgusted that I ran to ask the director... why did the monkey behave in such a strange way... The director explained: It was because a man threw a big peach to him last year. As a result, the big peach couldn't get out of his butt. Smooth discharge... He suffered miserably... So now he must put the food into his butt and measure it to make sure it can be pulled out before eating...

26. Demon King: "Princess, you broke your throat No one will come to save you! "

Princess: "Broken throat! "

No one: "Princess! I'm here to save you! "

Devil: "Damn it..."

Ghost: "Who discovered me? "

Who: "What does it have to do with me? ”

The devil is dead!!

27. Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat

`````````` ```

One day

The white cat fell into the water

The black cat rescued it

The white cat was right The black cat said something

``Q: What is this sentence

........................" "Meow"

33. Which song has the lyrics "李玟"? The moon represents my heart (

李玟 How deep do I love you...)

34. Which color is the most imitative? - Red (mill) imitation

35. Jasmine, sunflower or rose, which flower is the least powerful? Jasmine, because: good A beautiful (powerless)

jasmine

36. Which one is dumb, the stars, the moon, or the sun? Stars, because: There is a line in Lu Binghua's song "The stars in the sky are not Talk"

37. What will the unicorn become when it flies to the North Pole? Ice cream (ice unicorn)

38. Which kind of flower does not have children? Mayflower, because Mayflower toilet paper (unborn)

39. A mother gave birth to conjoined children. Baby, my sister is called Mary, so what is my sister’s name?

A: Monroe Because: Marilyn (Lian) Monroe

40.

Xiao Ming: Have you ever seen a turtle shake its head?

Kangkang shook his head) No

Xiao Ming: Then have you ever heard an idiot say yes

, an idiot said no, and a retarded person said nothing

Story

Kangkang:............

41. Piggy: "Chicken, why don't you take a bath? You stink more than me ."

Chicken: "Mom won't let me wash."

Little Pig: "Why?"

Chicken: "Mom said when I take a bath. It’s so obscene to rub yourself back and forth.”

42. One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf.

The big bad wolf effortlessly destroyed the thatched house, the wooden house, and the brick house. The three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf.

The three little pigs said desperately, you can figure it out. We give up, do whatever you want.

At this time, the big bad wolf smiled evilly and said with saliva:

Then tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is

43.

Q: What do African cannibal chiefs eat?

A: People!

Q: One day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be vegetarian. So what did he eat?

A: Eat a vegetable! ~~

44. Xiao Hei, Xiao Bai, Xiao Huang, and Xiao Hong are on a plane. Who will get sick and vomit?

The answer is: Little White

Because: Little White Rabbit (vomit)

45. Which letter is the saddest~!

Answer; F because FB (sorrow) I (AI)

46. Whoever plays the game between wolf, tiger and lion will definitely be eliminated - wolf, Momotaro ( Eliminate the wolf)

47. Why are silkworm babies so rich? Because... Silkworms can spin cocoons (frugal)

48.4. (The female guest finished dancing)

Brother Xian: Your dance was like sitting on the bench with your butt naked, Be discerning...

49.13. Brother Xian: Don’t look at Kangkang like this. Kangkang is actually a mixed race.

He is from an alien planet...

50.2 China, Japan, or the United States, which country has the most complete military bases?

Answer: Japan... ...There is a singer in Japan named Hamasaki Ayumi~~~

51. The sheep called the eagle, and the eagle answered the phone and said "Feed Yang, Yin Wei" (Sheep phone, Eagle Feed

52. There are ten sheep, nine of them are squatting in the sheep pen, and one is squatting in the pig pen and swaying (one sheep is squatting wrong

53.. Celery was walking, and suddenly felt a stomachache. , and then he made a "porphyry" sound, what do you think he pulled out~~? That's celery dung (diligence)!!! What is the color of celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: Yellow

Because: Qin Shihuang (celery yellow)

54. (2) Which Chinese character is the coolest?

Answer: Thong (cool). /p>

55. Once upon a time there was a eunuch......................

..... ..

........ None of the following

59. Why do most Buddhists live in the northern hemisphere? Namo Amitabha

60 .Why did the frog lose to the dog in the swimming competition? The frog made a foul in breaststroke

62. The female mouse suspected that her husband was having an affair, and she followed her husband to the grass. After a while, a female mouse came out. Live Hedgehog: Damn it, you said you didn’t have an affair, who are you trying to seduce with so much mousse?

63. I wanted to ask the school girl if she had a CD, but I only got a “C” from the school girl. I accidentally pressed the Enter key to send it.

School girl: “You hate it, but I’m not the only one, right?”

I sweated profusely and quickly added the second half: "...D?"

School girl: "Yeah, almost, hey! :p"

I'm dizzy!

64. Young girl is prostituted - give a big name to Tongji!

65. My brother doesn’t like the food cooked by his mother, but he likes to eat instant noodles, so his mother scolds him: “You can’t go out to buy lunch?” Instant noodles are not nutritious!"

My brother said back: "I just like to eat them, so what!"

"Oh, mom, I told you, instant noodles are really not good. Thing, there is a young lady in your father’s company. In order to save all the money and send it home, she eats instant noodles in the morning, lunch, and evening.

After eating instant noodles every day, she died three months later!

-Brother (shocked): "Real or false?" "

-How could mom lie to you?"

-Really, then how did she die? "

-Well... I got into a car accident while buying instant noodles..."

66. Someone will take you there