I know that between father and son, one day there will quietly start a battle between two men for the right to speak. And whether I lose or you win is the ending that has already been written.

Now that you are eighteen years old, your self-awareness has awakened, and this battle has begun.

I feel that time is tight, and I want to tell you the most important words while I am still in the upper hand. After saying this, it won’t matter whether I lose in person or in battle in the future.

So, please listen carefully to the following things.

The first thing: you can be free, but you cannot cross the line.

Your wings are full and you are about to gain the freedom to fly as high as the sky. But you must remember that when people live in this world, there are things they do and things they don’t do.

Don’t do anything that will hurt yourself.

Don’t do anything that will offend others.

Don’t do anything that makes your conscience uneasy.

You have to hold on to the minimum bottom line to be qualified to fly high.

The second thing: take a long-term view in everything you do.

People live, not at this moment, but throughout their lives.

So don’t be too eager for quick success and eager to gain. You must know that what you sow today and reap tomorrow are just childish tricks. Anything that is truly valuable and meaningful to your life requires long-term dedication and persistence.

Too many things, haste makes waste. From now on, when you do things as a person, you must have goals, but the purpose cannot be too strong.

Just like chasing a girl, rushing to confess your feelings will often scare them away. A better way is actually to cultivate yourself well, attract her to see your light, and take the initiative to come to you.

For those who have a big picture, victory or defeat is not determined at the same time. Being able to have the last laugh and looking back without regrets is our ultimate goal.

The third thing: think more about the interests of others.

People are selfish and always subconsciously hope to benefit themselves.

This is nature and there is nothing wrong with it.

But if you only think about yourself, you will inevitably lose your heart and end up alone, which will be detrimental to yourself.

So, don’t do things that benefit yourself at the expense of others. This is fishing in a dry lake. When interacting or cooperating with others, think more about how both parties can benefit at the same time. This is saving for yourself.

When you can benefit others, others will naturally be willing to surround you, so that you won’t be too embarrassed when you need something in the future.

The fourth thing: You can pursue your personality, but you must live towards the sunshine.

I don’t advocate working hard to do something.

You like music. People who play music have irregular schedules. It is said that the desire to create comes only when inspiration strikes at night.

I definitely don’t think so. It’s a weak excuse for people who can’t manage themselves well.

When the sun rises in the morning and everything wakes up, doesn’t it make your ears clear and your eyesight clear?

People who play music love to pursue individuality. I am not against being unconventional, but remember, this is not a label that can be brought to you by smoking cigars, hanging out in bars, or even taking ecstasy. The real personality is in your music style, in your melodiousness, or roughness and boldness.

I know a lot of people who play rock and roll. They don’t have long hair, don’t have dreadlocks all over their heads, and don’t drink heavily. They still sing the cry of youth and the call to the world cleanly.

Similarly, you should stop playing games, swearing and other things in moderation.

I hope you live a healthy, clean, and sunny life. This is called loving yourself.

Item 5: You can be kind, but you must protect yourself first.

You should be a good person and help others as much as possible, but you must have a bottom line to be a good person and not be used, bullied, despised or deceived by others.

People have different levels and qualities, and many things are difficult for us to predict and prevent. You must learn to protect yourself before being kind.

Any kindness should not be premised on harming oneself. Otherwise, I would rather you be indifferent.

Item 6: You can’t be greedy, but you can’t be poor either.

No one can satisfy all their desires. In this world, those who learn to be content and give up have the strongest sense of happiness.

So I don’t want you to become a slave to money and only know how to make money.

However, you must not be too poor.

If you have extra food in your hands, you won’t panic in your heart. This is the eternal truth.

You'd better accumulate enough wealth, so that even if a sudden blow comes, it won't knock you down easily.

Don’t open your mouth to others and ask for their kindness and help. The most difficult thing to explain clearly in the world is favor, so if you don't owe it, you won't owe it.

Item 7: Look at the world with appreciation.

This world is sometimes very good and sometimes very bad.

If you always see garbage on the ground and those ugly people throwing garbage, your heart will be very gray.

It is better to look up at the blooming acacias and think about the warm care of your relatives.

A truly happy person must know how to look at the world with appreciation.

Whatever you see, you will feel in your heart. And whatever is in your heart, you will see.

You have to live anyway, so why not try to put as much good things in your heart as possible.

That’s all. Thank you for your patience in reading. I hope you can understand more than half of it and do less than half of it.

Growing up is hard work. I hope you will not lose your feathers, be slandered or broken on the way from a boy to a man.

I have raised you up to this age, and I have said so many nonsense. In the final analysis, I just hope that your life will be less difficult and more happy.

Every parent has deep hopes for their children. Do you feel the same way? And how do we, as parents, cultivate a child with psychological sunshine?

Then take a look at the suggestions given by the editor.

Train children’s ability to be alone

“A sunny and happy child is an independent child. He or she has the ability to face various difficulties in life and can Find your own place in society. ”

Psychologists say that security is not a sense of dependence. If a child needs warm and stable emotional connection, he also needs to learn to be alone, such as letting him stay in a safe place. in the room.

For children to feel safe, they do not necessarily need their parents to be present at all times. Even if they cannot see you, they will know in their hearts that you are there.

Experts say that adults need to "respond" to children's various needs rather than "satisfy" everything.

Satisfying children must be moderate

It is necessary to set some artificial boundaries and cannot meet children's requirements unconditionally. "Another prerequisite for being able to be in a happy mood is that children can withstand the inevitable setbacks and disappointments in life."

Child psychiatrist Dr. Thomas told us, "Only when children understand one truth, that is, Being able to obtain something does not depend on his desire, but on his ability, so that he can obtain inner fulfillment and happiness."

The sooner a child understands this truth, the less pain he will suffer. . Be sure not to always fulfill your child's wishes at the first opportunity. The right thing to do is to delay.

For example, if your child is hungry, you can let him wait for a few minutes. Don't give in to all your children's demands. Saying no to your child's requests will help him gain mental peace.

Accepting this kind of "unsatisfactory reality" training in the family will give children enough psychological endurance to face the setbacks in future life.

Cool the child when he gets angry

When a child gets angry, the first way is to divert attention and find a way to get him to go to his room to get angry. Without an audience, he will slowly become quiet.

Appropriate punishment and implement it to the end. Strategies for saying "no": Don't just say no, explain to your child why it's not okay. Even if the child does not understand, he can still understand your patience and respect for him;

Parents must be consistent, one cannot say yes and the other no; when prohibiting something, you can give it to him at the same time. The freedom to do something else.

Face his flaws

If a child is different from other children, for example, the child is too fat, has a problem with the shape of his ears, or has an extreme personality and behavior, parents must not deny these facts. , but actively discuss with him, find solutions, or accept the reality.

In this regard, going to an expert is the best way, because children generally take the words of experts (such as doctors) seriously.

Criticism should be based on the situation, not the person

When criticizing children, you should consider the situation. For example, if a child breaks his mother's jewelry, it would be correct to say:

"Look, if you play with something you have no right to play with, bad things like this will happen."

It is wrong to say: "You are so bad, how could you break my jewelry? You deliberately refused to let mom wear it!"

The first sentence clearly tells the child, His mistake was that he "touched something that shouldn't have been touched" and did not deny the child's character.

The second sentence defined the child's character, which made him very frustrated and undermined his self-confidence in being a good child.

Let him do it

Let your child do what he can early on, and he will be more proactive in doing things in the future.

Don’t do things for your children too much, speak for your children, and make decisions for your children. Before you do it for your children, think about it, maybe your children can do this by themselves.

What not to say: "You are no good, you can't do this!"

Let your children "try new things". Sometimes adults forbid children to do something just because "he hasn't done it before."

If something is not dangerous, let your child try it.

Let children open their hearts

Communicating with others is an ability, and speaking out what is in your heart is an ability. A 14-year-old boy needs correct guidance from his father and a positive attitude. Saying what is in your heart in time will prevent you from doing some dark things. If you don't control and avoid it in time, he will continue to be more terrible.

Happiness is the ability to see the good and positive aspects of life. You can also face the bad things positively.

Say more positive words: "We are so happy to be together, aren't we?" "We are so lucky!" "Don't be sad, we will do better next time."

If a child does not have a sunny, happy and correct mother before the child is 8 years old, then the child will have her mother's shadow emerging in him at the age of 12.

So, at this time, you must not think that the child is just a child and is fickle, let alone think that he will be fine when he grows up. In fact, darkness has seriously appeared in this family. If there is no stopping and guidance, , growing up will only make it more serious and terrifying.

Emphasize what you get and understand love

Family, friendship, and sensory enjoyment, strengthen these "acquisitions" and let him know that he is enjoying it when he enjoys it.

Strengthen his understanding: I have a lot, and what I have is precious.

He must know that the kindness these relatives treat him is not something he should or must do. No one in this world owes anything to anyone. The love given to him is the responsibility of adults, and he must Know how to be grateful.

They will also be parents in the future.

There is no such thing as sitting back and enjoying everything in this world. He must understand that what his parents give him is not necessity or habit, but love.

You must know how to respect others

No matter what the status of the parents is or the status of the people around them, children must know how to respect others without distinction of status.

Maybe it is his father’s friend, maybe his mother’s colleague, maybe his father’s driver, maybe the watchman at the school gate, etc. These people who are not related to him by blood, give to him, he One must be grateful.

Looking for, accumulating, and strengthening those beautiful and positive things are the sweetest gifts for children in life - there is gain and love every day, and tomorrow will be better, so work hard!