Someone said, "The people who have appeared in your world, whether they are familiar friends around you, or close friends who have never met in a very distant place. Maybe you have loved many people, It’s also possible that you will be loved by many people, but the probability of someone truly having the patience to understand you is less than 0.1‰.” I believe it because of that Miao girl in the ancient city of Lijiang.

At the 2022 New Year Gala, the New Year’s bell rang, and I was alone in front of the TV in a daze, like a Buddha statue sitting quietly in a temple. The crackling firecrackers sounded outside. In this noisy and festive New Year's Eve, I just wanted to be silent. Slowly recalling the girl I loved for the first time, her good deeds were vividly in my mind, repeating and replaying in front of my eyes like a movie.

In this small town where we have lived for more than ten years, there are so many familiar places that hold us sweet memories. Always inadvertently, a familiar scene reminds me of her deeply. I want to escape from here, go to a new place, lick the wounds in my heart, change my mood, and start life again. Some people say that Lijiang is suitable for romance and Tibet is suitable for healing. I don't know if this makes sense. I don’t know where I should go between Tibet and Lijiang.

Looking out the window, there is heavy snow flying all over the sky. The houses in the distance and the lawn nearby are all covered with a layer of pure white. There seemed to be a faint fragrance of flowers in the wind. When I smelled it carefully, I felt that it was her body. That faint fragrance, light and elegant, once fascinated me so much! She once said that her biggest wish was to accompany me to Tibet, to find an uninhabited place on the prairie, and live a carefree and carefree life like Sanmao and Jose. But now she chooses Forgotten.

The only constant in the world is that everything changes. I have no reason to ask you to stay with me for the rest of your life. I know that when she loves me, she really loves me, and when she doesn’t love me, she really doesn’t love me anymore. Love has a shelf life. Unfortunately, we didn't extend it. It is impossible to go to Tibet with her in this life. So, I decided to go to Lijiang alone. It's not that I want to have an affair, I just want to be alone, lick the wounds in my heart, and heal myself in a different place.

After the Lantern Festival, the train finally left my hometown and headed for the ancient city of Lijiang, carrying so many thoughts of mine. I didn't look back again, even though everything here once made me so nostalgic. When we got off the train, it was already late at night, and the midnight spring breeze was still mixed with a hint of chill. I called a taxi and wanted to find an inn to settle down first, but I didn't know where to go in this strange city. The driver drove the car and told me about the charm of this ancient city.

I looked out the car window blankly and saw a petite figure on the roadside ahead, holding on to a tree, vomiting a few times, and staggered down. There was a tearing pain in my heart. I knew she wouldn't appear here, but it really seemed like she was there.

He must also be a person with a story. I asked the driver to stop the car and take the girl, but the driver refused to agree because he was afraid of vomiting in the car. There was a feeling of sympathy in my heart. It must be very unsafe for her to be like this on such a cold night.

I paid the fare, took my luggage, walked over, and gently helped the girl up. Sure enough, she smelled of alcohol. It was like the cold wind on the street woke her up, maybe after vomiting, she no longer looked as drunk as before.

He said vaguely: "Well, thank you, I can walk back." I said, "It's very unsafe for you to look like this on such a cold night. Let me take you back. I'm coming along too." She looked at the luggage in my hand and smiled knowingly. I was a little embarrassed that the lie was seen through.

She smiled and said, "You just arrived in Lijiang, right? You still have your luggage with you. Are you here for tourism? Thank you for getting out of the car and helping me up. You must be a very kind person." I was embarrassed. She smiled and said, "Yes, yes, I just got here and haven't found a place to live yet."

She said, that's just right. Let me be a guide for you. There happens to be a very nice place next to my house. Affordable hotel. I nodded excitedly, and the confusion in my heart was blown away like a fog. It felt like I had met a relative in this strange place.

I supported her and walked shakily on this deserted street. The neon lights on the street stretched our figures very long. A gust of cold wind blew and she shivered. I took off my coat and put it on her body. She looked at me gratefully.

I quickly said, "It's okay, I'm not cold." She smiled with a blush on her cheeks and said, "You've got to laugh, the little girl is too drunk. I'm sober now, but I'm still a little shaky when I walk."

Along the way, you and I chatted one by one. She said, "My name is Fei'er. I'm not a native of Lijiang. My hometown is in a big mountain not far away. I'm a Miao girl. I just graduated from college and it's my first job. I have dinner and get together with my colleagues for the first time. I'm afraid that I won't get along well with my colleagues. I just drank hard to show my sincerity to the company and my colleagues.

A group of unreliable colleagues were drunk, so I had to go back alone. I wanted to stop a taxi many times. When the driver saw my appearance, he chose to turn a blind eye and sped away. Fortunately, I met you, otherwise I might have fallen asleep on the side of the road."

I said with a shy smile. , "It's okay, I should be the one thanking you. It's my first time coming to Lijiang. This place is very unfamiliar to me. I don't know where to find an inn to stay. Fortunately, I met you."

"Are you here for tourism?"

"That's not true. I work in sales in a small county in my hometown. I'm just tired of that kind of life and want to change places and lifestyles. I heard that Lijiang is beautiful. I want to find a job here, earn money and enjoy the beautiful scenery at the same time. It will kill two birds with one stone."

"Well," she said excitedly, "It just so happens that our company's sales department is also here. "Recruiting people, you can give it a try"

I didn't believe my ears, and there was such a good thing. All of a sudden, not only the accommodation problem was solved, but the work problem was also solved. The Miao girl in front of me must be an angel sent from heaven to save me. I laughed happily.

"That would be great, but it will take a long time to apply for the job. I wonder if your company can take a fancy to me?"

She smiled at me mysteriously He said, "Don't worry, I am from the human resources department of our company. If you tell our leader, there will be no problem."

I was almost shocked that such a good thing happened to me. I couldn't help but cast a grateful look at her. She was also looking at me, her eyes full of simplicity and enthusiasm unique to the mountains.

"The highest mound in our area is less than 20 meters above sea level. I envy it the most. There are mountains and water in the mountains. My biggest wish is to find a place to live in seclusion in the mountains after I save enough money. , become a hermit," I said enviously.

She smiled happily, "Well, from now on, I will give you that shabby house behind my house. It will definitely satisfy your dream of becoming a hermit." I felt a little embarrassed and quickly changed the subject. I jokingly said, "You have such a beautiful smile. Really, I'm not flattering you just because I'm going to your place for an interview soon. You must be a very happy girl."

I thought she would be very happy. Happy, who knew, she suddenly became a little sad. The smile on his face instantly froze at the corner of his mouth.

My heart sank, knowing that I must have touched the scar in her heart. The situation became even more embarrassing and I became overwhelmed.

She saw my embarrassed expression. Instead, he comforted me and said, "It's okay. I'm used to it. Don't mind. I am a child who grew up in bitter waters. If I want to sum up my growth process in one word, ill-fated is the best one." After a moment of silence, Mayfair told me her experience.

When I was very young, probably three or four years old, my parents divorced. Within two years, Dad went to heaven. At that time, I didn't know how far away heaven was. He just thought that it must be beautiful there. He went there and never came back.

Apart from the photos hanging on the wall, there is no other impression of my father’s strangeness. My mother has always been the one pulling us, my sister and my brother, through all kinds of painstaking efforts. While she went to the fields and worked like a man, she also acted as a father and a mother, taking care of our lives.

The physical busyness is bearable. I think mental suffering must be the most painful thing for a mother. Because I often get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and find her tossing and turning, unable to sleep, and sometimes crying secretly. I know that my mother must be suffering a lot. In order for our siblings not to be wronged, she chose to support the family alone.

But later on, I gradually felt that my mother’s temper was getting worse and worse. As long as I appear in front of her, everything seems to be wrong. He always makes a big fuss with me. I once thought my mother didn't love me anymore. I once wanted to leave this home without warmth.

But I needed money to go out, so I began to secretly pick up bottles from the trash cans and sell them. I wanted to save enough for travel expenses, so I ran away from home. But before I could save enough money, my mother discovered me. She hugged me and cried. It's been a long time since I felt my mother's love for me.

My mother cried for a while and said to me, "I'm sorry, Bao'er, my mother suffers from depression. She often can't control herself and makes you feel wronged." I didn’t know what kind of disease depression was, but from that moment on, I already knew that not only could I not leave this home, but I also had to be the backbone of the family and take care of my sick mother.

After the college entrance examination results came out, I received the admission notice from Lijiang Normal University. I like the beautiful scenery here in Lijiang. In my hometown, when I have nothing to do, I often climb to the top of the mountain alone and overlook everything below. At that moment, I can temporarily forget all my worries. I have had a dream since I was a child, that one day I can go out of the mountains and see the outside world.

She was a little choked up as she spoke. I can only imagine how much suffering she suffered when she was a child.

I wanted to comfort her, but I felt it was a bit unnecessary.

Crying, isn’t it a way to vent sometimes?

"If you feel uncomfortable, just cry for a while. I will accompany you to vent the hardships you have experienced."

Feier was silent for a while, wiping the tears from the corners of her eyes. Po tears burst into laughter. It seemed like she was used to all this. She continued her story.

When I got the notice, I felt very complicated, even painful. I thought about it for a long time and didn't dare to tell my mother. I was afraid that my mother would have to worry about my tuition fees again. I am even more afraid that it will be even harder for her to be at home alone with her naughty brother after leaving her mother. I am also worried about my mother's depression, and I am worried that the years will destroy her even more mercilessly when she is not with her.

In the end, my mother knew it, and she was very happy that day. She cooked a lot of delicious dishes and said to me, "Bao'er, you did well in the exam. Mom's hard work over the years has paid off and she has finally trained you to be a talented person." I saw tears flashing in the corners of her eyes. I had no appetite to eat, so I hugged my mother and cried loudly.

"Mom, I'm not at home. You are taking care of your brother and your depression. What should you do? I really can't feel relieved." My mother helped me wipe away my tears, "Silly boy, my mother is fine. I will take my medicine on time. I have a precious daughter like you, so I won't be upset. You can go to college without worry. Mom, I have spent all your tuition fees over the years. It’s all saved up.” I saw my mother laughing so hard that she burst into tears.

When I went to college, I did not relax and studied harder. I wanted to study hard, find a good job, earn a lot of money, and take good care of my mother and younger brother in the future. I will also call my mother from time to time. Ask her if she can take her medicine on time and don't have any unruly thoughts.

During the four years of college, I studied and set up a stall at the same time, working hard to earn some living expenses and reduce the burden on my mother. After graduation, with excellent grades, I turned down offers from several big companies in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou. Because I know that my mother can't live without me, and this family can't live without me. I found a job in Lijiang. Although the salary was not very high, I worked very hard to do everything assigned by the leader because I needed this salary to cure my mother's illness and share her worries.

No matter how bad fate is for me, I don’t dare to complain. I still have to smile and work hard to earn the smiles of my mother and boss. But many nights, like my mother, I could not sleep alone, turning around and thinking that life was too unfair to me. She was a little choked up as she spoke. I didn't comfort her. Don't persuade others to be good without going through their suffering. At this time, letting her cry for a while and vent out the pain in her heart may be the best comfort.

At this moment, I feel that between Mayfair and I, we are like close friends who have never met but have known each other for a long time.

We talked a lot along the way, but we still felt that we were still not finished. I really hoped that this road would be long and never end.

How far is the end of the world? I have no idea.

How long will heaven and earth last? I don't want to know.

The scars of the past have made me no longer believe that there will be a love at first sight and a compatible marriage that will favor me in this world. I feel that Yue Lao's marriage thread may only tie my feet in this life. I just want to walk through this life alone and complete my mission.

Drink a bowl of Meng Po soup, fly to the Forgotten River, and enter the next reincarnation early. It doesn't matter if it's a pig, a sheep, or an ox or a horse. I just don’t want to walk through this world again and leave behind a heart-wrenching memory.

Soon we arrived at where she lived. I laid her gently on the bed. She was still limp and without strength, her cheeks were crimson, her face was like a peach blossom, and she was charming. She said sorry and fell asleep. I closed the door and settled myself down.

Mayfair is right. Under her arrangement, we have become the best colleagues. Her silvery laughter is always around us. We will talk about interesting things when we were young and how helpless we are when we grow up. , the ups and downs of the years. When I spent time with Mayfair, I gradually stopped thinking about her so much.

I know that even though there are still a hundred reasons to love her, there are a thousand excuses to want to see her again. But without love that goes both ways, it's all meaningless. About a month later. I really don’t miss him that much anymore. I know it's not that I don't love you anymore, I just don't think about it that way.

One day, Mayfair’s QQ profile picture started to vibrate. I clicked on it and saw a photo of her, dressed in white, sitting quietly on the lawn of the playground, with a glass of wine beside her. of milk tea with a straw. The afterglow of the setting sun shone on her fair face, peaceful and indifferent. With the unique strength and stubbornness tempered in the mountains, it is like a cup of original milk tea, without any trace of deliberate embellishment or worldly pollution.

"This is a photo of me in college. Does it look good?"

"Yes, it looks like a fairy." I quickly praised.

"Which immortal? Zhu Bajie or the Barefoot Immortal?"

I was so amused that I laughed. It turns out that Feier also has a funny soul hidden in her heart.

"By the way, why is your online name called Hometown? Is it because you have always had the desire to return to your hometown, be the king of children, and take them out of the mountains together?" I posted a big Question mark.

"Do you know a poem by Li Bai? "Long Love": Long love, in Chang'an. Luo Wei sings in autumn in Jinjinglan, the frost is desolate and the mat is cold. The lonely lamp is unclear and I am heartbroken, Vol. I look at the moon and sigh. The beauty is like a flower in the clouds. There is a blue sky above, and the waves of the Lu River below. The journey is long and the soul is in trouble. "

"I know. Li Bai traveled far and wide, visiting the rivers and mountains of his motherland, but the softest and most missed place in his heart was left in Chang'an. The song "Long Love" evoked so much longing for Chang'an. Ah, my thoughts are in Chang'an. It's late at night and the insects are chirping. I look at the bright moon outside the window under the flickering lamp. How far away it is from me. The city of Chang'an it shines on is so far away from me. How far away, in the city of Chang'an, the person I miss is even more like the misty clouds in the sky, far away. I can only miss you day and night?"

"Yes, I am in my hometown, waiting for my Chang'an to appear, to accompany me, see the spring flowers and autumn moon, and hold my hand together, Let's grow old together."

No matter how far apart we are, people who are destined to meet will eventually meet. After seeing her message, a hot warmth surged in my heart. At that moment, I discovered that I, who had always been so heartbroken, actually liked her so much. At this moment, I even wanted to be in the depths of the mountains with her, enjoying the tranquility and comfort in the depths of the mountains. Let the years pass by.

Chang'an returns to my hometown, and my hometown is Chang'an. The world is so big, and those who are destined to meet will eventually meet, no matter how far apart they are. Understand, you can withstand the invasion of long years. People who love you will always know how to love you, without exception.

Because we understand, even if we lean behind each other and are silent, there will be a warm current that slowly passes between each other's hearts. There will always be someone in this world who, even across time and space, from the mind to the heart, from the North Pole to the sun, wants to be in your world and love you. At that moment I really hoped that we would never miss each other.

When she was unhappy, I would tell her lots and lots of jokes, making her laugh so hard. When she is lonely and alone, I will tell you many, many stories to fill her heart soaked in bitter water. When I am disappointed, she will give me a lot of comfort, let me imagine the beauty of the future, and rekindle my hope in life. In this way, we encourage each other and rely on each other. I know that we have a certain understanding in our hearts, but we have never broken this tacit understanding. Don't dare to say that word.

I also hope that life can go on like this. Love is too extravagant and too hypocritical. A complex society, an invisible human heart, cares that cannot be let go, endless ups and downs, endless bumpy roads, after a moment of joy, in the end you will be covered in scars, and even your happiness will be lost. . Only in this way will we laugh so heartlessly throughout our lives. I can't even imagine our future, for fear that we can't afford each other.

One day, she said she wanted me to go drinking with her. Didn't I say you are too drunk? She didn't speak, just smiled lightly, mixed with a touch of sadness. I knew she must have something on her mind that she wanted to tell me, and I had no reason to refuse.

We came to the bar,

I opened a glass of Red Bull, ordered a glass of red wine, mixed them together, and shook them slowly and gracefully until the Red Bull and red wine were mixed together without any trace. She was a bit silent today, with a slight sadness on her face.

I tried hard to untie her knot, break the slightly sad situation, and asked her with a smile: "Do you know what this is called?" She shook her head and smiled, "I don't understand wine." The smile was not so sweet, but there was still a touch of unspeakable sadness.

I said, "This is called Forgetting Water. Drinking it will make you forget all your sorrows."

She picked it up and drank it in one gulp.

"I really hope this is a cup of Meng Po soup, which can make me forget the past." I clearly saw that her cheeks slowly turned crimson, and tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. Falling to the ground.

"Actually, I am a very silent person. The bitterness of my childhood and my mother's depression often linger in my heart like a nightmare. Thank you for showing up and making me happy so freely. You have never asked me, and I have never mentioned my first love to you. In the third year of junior high school, I didn’t know what love was at that time. He was a very sunny boy, but he was a bad student in the class. , average-looking.

I can’t say what’s good about him, but he was really nice to me at that time, and he could bring me different breakfast every day. I didn’t want to be bullied by others, but I was beaten all over by the boys who bullied me. I also hoped that there would be someone who could protect me when I was helpless, so I agreed to be his girlfriend, maybe just for the sake of it. Looking for a kind of comfort, I want a shoulder to lean on when I feel wronged.

Later, I was admitted to high school and went to college, but he didn't. He went to work in another city, but he never did. We broke off contact and started a long-distance relationship. It is said that distance brings about beauty. Sometimes distance brings about estrangement.

Gradually, there was less and less news about him, until one day, he was there. I sent a message and broke up with him, saying that he was not worthy of me and had a new girlfriend. After so many years of relationship, when I needed comfort the most, he stayed with me all the way to this day. How could I just forget about it? . I wanted to keep him, and I wanted to say that I didn’t mind. But the edited message was not sent out.

Yesterday, he suddenly sent me a message. He said that he has been lying to me in the past few years. In order not to affect my study, he deliberately did not contact me. In the past few years, he has been working hard to make money. He hopes to come to me when he has saved enough money. , shoulder the burden of the family for me, so that I no longer have to work so hard to be the backbone of the family, what do you think I should do?"

At this time, the bar's resident singer sang the song "The Girl Who No Longer Waits."

"In the early morning of every weekend, when I leave my hometown, the girl in a hurry has not yet dressed up. Through the car window, her face is gradually blurring, and the waiting girl sheds two lines of tears. The love in my youth, once The promises you made, the dried tears in your diary, why didn’t I understand at the time, girl, you are no longer the same as before, you put on a thick disguise for life, you are no longer stubborn, you have learned to be strong. , you are not as sentimental as before, girl, you have changed now, why do gentle people always get hurt, put on exquisite makeup, and no longer talk about the past. This sea of ??people is so vast that it is difficult to meet in dreamland. "

She listened with rapt attention, "I like this song very much, it's like telling my own story."

I opened a bottle of Sprite and a bottle of Jiangxiaobai , mix it together, shake it slowly, pick it up, and try to keep a smile on your face.

“I once loved someone so deeply, so deeply.

Whenever he sees her, no matter how bad his mood is, it will disappear without a trace because of him. I once thought that days like this would last forever. Until the end of life. We even made a promise to be together for three lifetimes. But the eternal oath of friendship cannot withstand the passage of time. "

"Do you know what this is called? "I have mixed feelings in my heart, I don't know what to say.

Mayfair still shook her head.

"This is called "lover's tears", no matter how strong you are after drinking it Everyone will cry. "

Then, I drank it all in one gulp. It was sweet, bitter, and made me choke with tears.

"It is indeed a lover's tears. I know why it is called this name. . " Mayfair immediately handed me a tissue and asked me to wipe the tears on my face quickly.

"You are a man. If you shed tears even after drinking, people will laugh at you. ”

Who knows, what makes me cry is not because of wine, but because of you. I don’t know how to answer her, and she also knows in her heart that although we have never said a word about love these days, Words, but each other has been engraved in the bottom of our hearts.

That day, we were all drunk and the loud music in the bar made her cry and laugh, letting her heart go out. The swaying lights in the bar illuminated her tear-stained face, making her look even more charming.

I have seen too much love between each other in this world. I was already numb. She sang intermittently to the melody of the music, sometimes crying, sometimes crying silently. She asked me, is there really love in this world? I didn't know when the tears had already flowed to the corners of my mouth.

I once really thought that life was just like this, a peaceful life, and I didn’t want any more waves. However, when we met by chance, you became a drug that I couldn’t quit. Love turns into an elixir to heal the wounds you have suffered. But in the end, I may just be a supporting role in her life.

"Your appearance once made me want to accompany you to your world. He lives in seclusion deep in the mountains. But it turns out that someone has met you earlier than me and lived in your heart."

I tried hard to make myself laugh exaggeratedly. No matter whether my heart was bleeding or not. It was just I couldn't bear to see my beloved cry. We both drank a lot that day, and I was so drunk that I didn't know how I could fall asleep when I got home.

I don't know what the purpose of life is. The sad thing is not losing the person you love, but losing yourself because you love someone too much, just like me now. But no matter what heartbreak I have experienced, when I wake up in the morning, the city is still busy and noisy. It's like the past.

No one cares about what you have lost, and no one cares about whether you are happy or not. I know that after so many years of love, Feier will never forget him, and I don't want to embarrass her. . So, I packed my luggage and left Lijiang without saying a word. This place had healed me and resurfaced my scars, and got on the train going south, ready to wander somewhere else.

I don’t know if she is mentally prepared, but I still sent her a message. It’s not because I am nostalgic, but I don’t want to leave so rudely.

“I will cherish the happiness I once had, and I will let go. Love yourself for everything that doesn't belong to me. I really want to disappear for a while. I feel so tired. I want to go somewhere where no one can find me. It will be over before we even start. I like you, but I won't force you to stay. ”

At this moment, I feel sad when lemon and vinegar are sour, and chilly when mint and ice are cold.

Blame me for being too naive, blame me for being too cowardly, I still love you, seriously but cowardly.

Suddenly, her profile picture flashed in QQ on the phone.

"If you had known the ending of the story, would you still be willing to start it? If you left like this, could we still be friends?"

My eye circles were already red; Full of tears.

"Don't be friends after a breakup, because we have been hurt by love, and we will not become enemies because we loved each other deeply. We will become the most familiar strangers."

"Do you regret our meeting?"

"No, I will never regret it. We met and got to know each other."

"I don't believe it, why are you so Sure? ”

I didn’t answer, I just asked a question:

“Do you know what most people regret most when they are dying? ”

“I must be repenting of the stupid things I have done”

“No, when people are dying, most of the things they regret are the things they did not have the courage to do while they were alive. Rather than what we have done before. It is the greatest luck that we have met and known each other."

"Well, I suddenly remembered a classic line in "Big Fish and Begonia": This short life. , we will all lose in the end, you might as well be bold, love someone, climb a mountain, chase a dream. I will live well, thank you for coming to my life."

I have arrived at a stranger again. place, the ancient city of Lijiang, the girl who made me wait no longer. If I had known the ending of the story, there would be no ending. I think I still would not regret meeting you.