Funny sketch script; newly written by Liu Sanjie

Character: Liu Sanjie

Mo Huairen

Xiucai A

Scholar B

Zhou Mei

Female Companion A

Female Companion B

Female Companion C

Scene: The background is Guilin landscape painting

On a boat on the Li River

The side of the stage. Enter Sanjie Liu.

From music, "Folk songs are like spring river water".

Sanjie Liu: (singing)

Sing folk songs here, sing them here and join them there

Folk songs are like spring rivers

Don’t be afraid of the steep bends in the beach and the many twists and turns

Sing folk songs here and sing them together there

Folk songs are like spring rivers

Don’t be afraid of the steep and many bends in the beach

Sing folk songs here and sing them together there

Folk songs are like spring rivers

Don’t be afraid There are many dangerous bends on the beach and there are many bends

Don’t be afraid. There are many dangerous bends on the beach and there are many bends

The music stops.

Liu Sanjie: It is difficult to operate a travel company. There are more in the off-season but less in the peak season. In order to compete for customers and seize the market, we must continue to innovate and promote promotions. Sisters, come up quickly. Let's show off our voices to attract the guests.

The other side of the stage. Mo Huairen appeared.

Mo Huairen: Reform and opening up has many benefits, including eating well and drinking more. I opened a travel agency, and the economic benefits were decent. Speaking of Sister Liu, she is even more remarkable. She runs a travel company and is a well-known local snake. They say colleagues are enemies, and this is absolutely true. In order to compete for customers, our two families are fighting openly and secretly. I am scared when I think about it. At the beginning, I wanted to talk to her. It was not Pan Changjiang competing with Yao Ming for height, Zhao Benshan competing with Liu Xiang, or bin Laden asking Obama for the antidote. It was just selfish. You're just messing around within your capabilities. Hey, it seems that Sister Liu is singing. Hehe, I will sing a song too. This is called echoing from a distance.

Music starts. "In Spring".

Mo Huairen: (singing)

I still remember the spring many years ago

I had not yet cut off my long hair

Home without 24-hour hot water

But I was so happy back then

Although I only had a broken acoustic guitar

On the street, under the bridge, in the fields

Singing the song that no one cares about

If one day I am old and homeless

Please I stay in that time

If one day I leave quietly

Please bury me in this spring

Remember those lonely springs< /p>

I didn’t have a beard at that time

There was no Valentine’s Day and no gifts

There was no my cute little princess

But I I feel like everything is not that bad

Although I only have fantasies about love

In the morning and at night in the wind

Singing the song that no one cares about

p>

Maybe one day I will be homeless

Please keep me in that time

If one day I leave quietly

Please keep me Buried in this spring

The music stops.

Sanjie Liu: Who is singing?

Zhou Mei: The smoky voice is Mo Huairen. It is said that this old guy has changed his ways and has given up eating, drinking, prostitution and gambling. He is risking his life to grab customers. The script of Fat Dan's sketch www.pangdan.com/juben/ As soon as he sees a tour group, he will follow it. He is so thick-skinned that he can't get rid of it. When he sees us attracting customers He had pink eye. No, I have to push him down.

Music starts. "christmas tree".

Zhou Mei: (singing)

ra pa pam pam

ra pa pam pam

ra pa pam pam

ra pa pam pam

light me up with me on top lets falalalalalalala

light me up with me on top lets falalalalalalala

the only place you wanna be is underneath my christmas tree

the only place you wanna be is underneath my christmas tree

light me up with me on top lets falalalalalalala

light me up with me on top lets falalalalalalala

ho ho ho under the mistle toe (ra pa pam pam)

yes everybody knows (ra pa pam pam)

we will take off our clothes (ra pa pam pam)

yes if you want us to we will

you oh oh oh christmas

my christmas tree is delicious

you oh oh oh christmas

my christmas tree is delicious

light you up with you on top lets falalalala (lets go)

ho ho ho under the mistle toe (ra pa pam pam)

yes everybody knows (ra pa pam pam )

we will take off our clothes (ra pa pam pam)

yes if you want us to we will

you oh oh oh christmas

my christmas tree is delicious

you oh oh oh christmas

my christmas tree is delicious

The music stops.

Zhou Mei: Third sister, look, there seems to be a tour group coming over there.

Sanjie Liu: Let’s go up and have a look.

Mo Huairen: Oh, let me play foreign songs. Isn't this clear-cut bullying? If I want to talk about Mandarin, I love so-and-so. It’s the bird’s song. Alas, it’s not powerful! Who is that, Scholar A, come out quickly.

Xiucai A comes on stage.

Xiucai A: Mr. Mo, you called me?

Mo Huairen: Did you hear that? The other party sings bird songs. If you are good at this, you can do it.

Xiu Cai A: When it comes to talking about birdsong, I am the best at it. I am a birdman. I studied abroad at Oxford University for 4 years. He further studied at Cambridge University for another 4 years. There was nothing else to do but talk about birdsong. Now my mouth smells like nestle (bird droppings). Look at me.

Music starts. "Christmas Is All Around".

Xiucai A: (singing)

I feel it in my fingers,

I feel it in my toes,

Christmas is all around me,

and so the feeling grows

It's written in the wind,

It's everywhere I go,

So if you really love Christmas,

C'mon and let it snow

You know I love Christmas

I always will

My mind's made up

The way that I feel

There's no beginning

There'll be no end

Cuz on Christmas,

You can depend

You gave your presents to me

And I gave mine to you

I need Santa beside me

In everything I do

You know I love Christmas

I always will

My mind's made up

The way that I feel

There's no beginning

There'll be no end

Cuz on Christmas,

You can depend

The music stops.

Mo Huairen: Singing well, but I didn’t understand a word. I said you haven’t learned anything in vain in the past eight years, and the birds are singing well!

Xiucai A: Mr. Mo, look, another group of tour groups has come and is heading to Sanjie Liu.

Mo Huairen: Hurry up and come forward. If you can no longer eat the fat that reaches your lips, it will be like South Korea being shot by North Korea, which is both embarrassing and ridiculing.