2. A city man is traveling to the countryside: "A farmer is shouting behind, hey, be careful of the wheat seedlings under your feet." City people disdain: no culture, this is called an outing. The farmer flew up and kicked him into the water so that you could go surfing!
3, a whim to create this poem, this poem is known to many people in the world, not for the famous pig afraid of being strong, but for the fool, which is related to success or failure. Fools know that if you don't believe it, fools will be reading this poem.
Today is a holiday. Do you want to invite me to dinner? Press it if you want, press it again, you want to be so bad to me ... press it again! I didn't expect you to be so generous and so moved! I'll come to see you on an empty stomach after work!
5, birds fly away with couples, and people are good with quality. This means that you will be who you want to be. Now I finally know why you like orangutans so much!
According to astronomers recently, there is a very strange creature that will destroy mankind in the future. From now on, as long as you shout "I'm not a man, I'm a pig" to the sky a hundred times a day, you can avoid its harm.
7. The red rabbit horse became Guan Yu's mount because it traveled thousands of miles every day; Bai became the mount of Tang Priest under the inspiration of Guanyin Bodhisattva. Although you are not so good, it is good to be a mount for two generations.
8. Time is really wonderful, because the sun ions are too strong recently, and there will be no signal in the sun. Don't panic. Please hold your other hand high above your head to block the sun when you make a phone call! Remember, the higher the better!
9. Happiness hugs, happiness kisses your mouth, sleep stumbles you, life smirks at you, health is never too late, move your feet easily, smile instead of worry, I wish you happiness!
10, it's wood who makes furniture, scholars who know poetry, people who think about money, talents who practice, women who want figure, geniuses who send messages and idiots who read text messages!
1 1. The mobile phone is in hand, and I am worried and blessed. As long as you are happy, nothing else is unusual, feelings are often linked, troubles are completely eliminated, everything is fun, life is always satisfied, and happiness is the most pleasant!
12, the boss is cruel to you; Men flatter you; My wife loves you; Aunt is enthusiastic about you; The little secret is affectionate to you; Nanny has feelings for you-you are finished, and your feelings are sinful.
13, the army gave everyone a comb, but shaved everyone's hair in the afternoon. The next day, everyone got a condom. In the afternoon, everyone ran away!
14, the housewife made a fire downstairs, which caused smoke upstairs. The housewife upstairs is shouting abuse. Downstairs calmly chanting: Rizhao incense burner gives birth to purple smoke. Upstairs, I took a basin of water, threw it down, and murmured: Look at that waterfall hanging in front of the river.
15, if it is a flower, it should bloom more brightly and make spring jealous; If it is grass, it should thrive and be envied by green trees; If you are cute, you should eat fatter, which will make you taste better.
16, one day you were stopped walking in the street and called you ugly, but you refused to admit it, and you were beaten: hypocrisy! I was stopped the next day and called you ugly. You admit being beaten: you are not modest! On the third day, I was stopped again, afraid to respond. I was beaten even worse: ugly is so shameful!
17, a student was late for college class, and the teacher was angry: What time is it, student:1880; Teacher: I asked you when; Student: When the door is closed; Teacher: Get out quickly; Student: It's locked. I can't get out!
18, I found a secret, which is very strange in modern society: the cat drank coke, the sheep fell in love with the wolf, the wings began to disappear, and the orcs thousands of miles away actually serenaded.
19, I don't want to lament the changes of the world, and I don't want to wait for the unknown growth. In this journey, we learned to be strong and independent. You should take care of yourself without me. It's very cold. Stop using socks as handkerchiefs.
If a star falls on your head tonight, please don't worry This is a gift from my God, and you will live a carefree and happy life from now on, because? Stupid.
2 1, the sky is not blue without you; Without you, I am upset; Life without you is really hard; It's really sweet to have you; My dearest, sweetheart. Not beauty, not you, but salary.
22. She is such a person who doesn't like dialogue. I only like one word related to speech. Without speaking, all languages seem to be abandoned, abandoned, like lies.
23, two butterflies to lose weight: dear, you lose weight, be careful of blood pressure and fat pile; Dear, eat less delicious food, you will regret it; Dear, you practice with me; Back to eighteen through time and space!
24, smile, "worry" secretly thrown away; Have fun, and the "pressure" quietly recedes; Beauty is beautiful, and "sleeping" is gentle; May you be relaxed and happy again and again.
What is missing is a rope. When we are together, we are silently tied, and when we are apart, we are involved with each other. I said to this rope that I miss you, and the rope turned my thoughts into short messages and sent them to your mailbox. Remember to think of me and wish you happiness!
26. Chickens are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs, eggs are eggs. You are too cruel to read it in one sentence. Sample, 20 cents will knock you out! Read it!
27, write greetings in the blue sky, the cloud is white; Write greetings in the morning light, and the sun smiles; Write greetings in words, you know. Send true feelings, send blessings and wish friends happiness.
28. Patrol: Fishing is not allowed here. Fisherman: I'm not fishing, I'm letting earthworms practice swimming. Policeman: Then, show me the earthworm. Fisherman: Look! Patrol: I can't swim. You should be fined.
29. If you receive this message, you just like me. If you delete it, you have a crush on me If you reply to the message, you just want to marry me. If you don't, you promise to marry me. If you modify it, it will be mine. If you save it, the rest of your life will be mine!
30. There is a 4-year-old girl at home. One day, a friend came home and praised her daughter for her beauty. I said modestly that she didn't. Daughter's interest is not high, replied: I didn't praise you, what are you modest about?
3 1, spring has come, and my thoughts are warming up, greeting germination and blessing flowering. On behalf of the green baby in the field, the butterfly in the mountain, the fish in the water, the birds in the tree and the flowers in the garden, I wish everyone a smile like spring, and flowers bloom and fall!
In this lonely northern hemisphere, in winter, I really miss you. Do you know I'm waiting for you? I am broke without you. Where the hell are you? My wallet!
If my heart is as transparent as a window, you will see that my heart is full of you. If thoughts are like lines, I will walk all the way to your side. Missing you is not a few words, but a real concern. Take care!
Conductor: In order to support the Beijing Olympic Games, our car group launched an English popularization activity. Please show me your English level certificate. Passengers below level 4 should get off and practice marathon.
35. I know that two clouds in the sky will turn into rain when they meet; When two stars meet, they will collide and spark. What will be the end of your meeting with me? Hope is the beginning of love. Ended in love.
36. I want to invite you to dinner on weekends. I can cut off water during the day and electricity at night. The salary can't enter the hotel. I don't know the answer if I want to guess the prize. I didn't have the courage to rob a masked man, so I had to spend a dime and send a text message to tease you.
As long as lovers come to meet, the SARS epidemic doesn't matter. Drink a cup of white vinegar before kissing, and your lover will have more flavor when kissing. Drink Banlangen when kissing, and kiss for a long time. Wear a big mask after kissing, keep delicious and have a good sleep.
38. A harmonious society requires that the family should not be dissolved, the lover should not be naughty, the same thing should be perfect, finding beautiful women should not add chaos, leaders should not stare at criticism, friends should get together for a long time and coax their wives to laugh.
Life is very uncomfortable without you by my side. I hate that unscrupulous third party who stole you. Come back to me quickly! My beloved wallet!
40. The mother camel and the giraffe are blind date, and the giraffe is shy after meeting. Female camel: Are you introverted? Giraffe: No, I didn't expect you to be so open. By the way, don't you usually wear underwear?
4 1, I wish: the leader is partial to you, * * lets you, the court treats you, the official wealth accompanies you, the daughter-in-law lets you eat and drink as you like, and the fortune covers you, only you win the prize!
42. It is said that the reason why Kobe trains until 4 am every day is because after training at 6 pm every day, Kobe will practice 50 more shots for himself.
43. A man found in his dream that he had discovered a great world secret, so he quickly wrote it down when he seemed to wake up. When he woke up, he saw on the paper: the banana is very big, and the banana skin is also very big!
44. I want to visit you in the evening. Can you pick me up at the station? But I'm afraid it's difficult to recognize people. You let your hair explode, with a stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left. The joint code word is: Come on!
45. Your face is as beautiful as a flower, and your docile personality is as lovely as a kitten. You should make me feel that I finally know why people say you are not human.
46. Thank you for knowing each other in this life. I miss you so much that I'm sure you are the love of my life. Without you, my life is bleak. How much I need you, come back to me: RMB!
47. The tortoise and the snake go to the park with only one ticket. The tortoise got the snake around its neck. When entering the park, the eagle checking in said, stop. The tortoise and the snake panicked, and the eagle said, look at your tortoise, wearing a tie!
48, don't sneeze, because then I will catch a cold; Don't sleep late, because then you won't be able to eat my breakfast. Don't lose your temper, because then I will be very sad. Don't ignore me, or I'll go crazy!
49. Lovers should be gentle as water and sweet as honey; Opponents should choose smart, capable and powerful; Colleagues should choose hard work and have no temper; Friends should choose pigs with runny noses. Stop looking and wipe your nose.
50, you are so cute-poor nobody loves you, you are really nice-it's really not your fault to grow like this, you are a genius-a born fool, you are very temperamental-stingy and neurotic.
5 1, I hope you are a dark horse and can break through the crowd; May you be an old horse and know the way to success; May you become a swift horse, and then, I will … ride you home during the festival!
52. From a distance, I looked at your back. Your black hair tied behind your head with a big red ribbon is like a waterfall pouring down from a mountain stream at the foot of a quiet mountain.
53. There is a tacit understanding that I am scolded by you; There is a kind of harmony, called I sit and you stand; There is a friendship that I eat meat and you drink soup; There is a blessing that I send a message to make you happy.
54. If you are a genius, I worship you; If you are a generalist, I will learn from you; If you are a wizard, I envy you; If you are a talented person, I recommend you; But you are a fool, I can only lie to you!
When the bird saw the plane for the first time, it shouted, Brother, wait for me. The plane roared by, leaving a wisp of smoke. The bird said, damn it, don't think that putting a color fart can change the bird's life.
56. Seven precepts after meals: First, quit smoking; Second, give up eating fruit immediately; Third, stop loosening your belt; Drink tea immediately under temptation; Fifth, quit; Sixth, quit bathing immediately; Seventh, stop sleeping immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?
57. Your arms are my safe haven, your eyes are my persistent belief, and your kindness is incomparable to others! I want to tell you: our love is the happiest love in the world!
In the romantic season, your clothes are the most popular design. Whether it is cotton or satin, they all wear perfect temperament and create an impeccable girlish atmosphere. It's a pity that you are tall and burly!
59, nothing to contact, normal people can't do such a thing; Sending a text message and not returning it, normal people can't do such a thing; Reading text messages without laughing, normal people can't do such a thing. Hey, what are you looking for everywhere? It is you!
60. My friend thought a lot last night. Only you are the coolest. I looked for you in my dream, and suddenly I looked back, but you were still tied to the depths of someone else's donkey shed, cruel! Cruel! Calm down after reading the information!
6 1, white you, sweet you, good figure, your appearance makes me unable to control my desire, I really want to hold you in my hand, take off your coat, and then. Put it in your mouth and taste my favorite white rabbit toffee!
62. A Dai looked for a job and finally got an interview with KFC one day. Examiner: What can you do? A Dai: Singing. The examiner asked him to sing. A Dai: More food, more laughter at McDonald's.
Are you angry today? Life is rich, life is domineering, life is bullish, life is lucky, life is lucky, life is full of vitality, life is full of popularity, life is full of kindness and life is full of happiness.
64. The beauty mask was successfully developed. With four women, it became the four beauties of ancient times. I sent you an out-of-print one, wishing you more youthful and beautiful than before! This mask is my blessing!
65. It's like this every day: play ball with Jordan, box with Tai Sen, have an affair with Clinton, blow up buildings with * *, and send messages to dogs. What a bore!
66, a short message, you don't underestimate, the magic has been applied, and the spell is hard to disappear: open, happy; Reading, worrying, running; Smile, happiness and firmness; Forward, beautiful. Good luck!
67. I am willing to become a thief, steal your true feelings, put them in a romantic heart and fight with my life. Even if there is only one bowl of porridge, I will put it in your hand. It's not enough to love you in this life! Hey! Are you moved?
68. I don't usually send text messages to people easily. The person who received my message must be a person who shares weal and woe or appreciate each other. So, kowtow three times, cheer three times and stand up! Nothing. It's just that I miss you. Step down!
69. You are no longer an audience, starting from the day I met you; I am no longer fearless. When I fall in love with you, I just want to tell you that I will never let go! Somehow, I only like you.
70. I saw you last week. There were some little girls around, and some of them were touching you. I am heartbroken: is this good? What a poor puppy!
Do you know anything about Song Ci? Please read this poem out loud for five times: the black trace of spring scares the moth to run, the black eyebrows pose, such as gauze hanging, and the black songs and dances.
72. You tell me gloomily: You dislike me and think I have gained weight. I stared at you for a long time and said slowly: I didn't dislike you, I just disliked the extra part of you.
73. You look very distinctive. It is a kind of courage for you to live. Ugliness is not your intention, but your parents played a game. Only you can set off the beauty of the world.
74. Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me Wallet!
75. God saw your desire and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way.
76. I have had a crush on you for a long time. I like the color of your clothes, your flowing hair, your red lips and your voice. Can you have a cup of coffee with me this weekend? Sorry, I sent the wrong message.
77. You always wanted to go back to ancient times and be an emperor. Finally, an expert cast a spell to help you cross back. You are so happy. Look in the mirror. Mom, the expert spell is too powerful. Back in primitive times!
78. This old motorcycle hit a pedestrian. He comforted the angry victim: "Comrade, you are so lucky. It happens that I am off today. I usually drive big trucks! "
79. The rooster and hen are husband and wife, and they are busy incubating chickens all day. There is something wrong with the chicken's brain. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. Rooster and hen look at chicks. Silly chicken didn't pay attention, secretly looking at his mobile phone.
80. Do you have a TV? Watch CCTV. The White House was bombed and the whole building collapsed. The police have sealed off the whole of Washington. Some people are dead, some are injured and some are missing. He was cheated!
8 1, if I have 10 million, I want 100 million; If I can live to be 80 years old, I want to live long; If I have you, my love, I can give up everything. Without you, what I have is useless.
Before marriage, she was slim. Before marriage, she was like a coca-cola bottle. English: After marriage, she became like a bucket. After marriage, she became like a Coca-Cola can.
83. There is a little light rain in the sky, which seems to laugh at my delusion. Why are you so selfish and cruel that I miss you? Rack one's brains to write a poem, full of sadness, who knows Only pigs and idiots are staring at this poem on the screen.
84. A tourist attended the Water-splashing Festival for ethnic minorities and suddenly shouted: What splashed all over me? The tour guide explained that splashing water means blessing! The tourists cursed: You treat me like a fool! He used boiled water!
85. Since my wife's Taobao account was upgraded from buyer level 0 to 4 bricks, the first thing I do when I turn on the computer every day is to enter her Alipay account and press the wrong password three times to go to work with peace of mind.
86. The toad pursued the swan, and the swan disdained to say, If I looked like you, I would have died! Toad refused: that pig is still alive and well! Hearing this, the pig felt very wronged: I was just reading the short message. Who did I piss off?
87. I have no second thoughts about you; You are half-hearted to me. I send you two short messages every day, and you don't reply to either word, but it is 22 at a time. I wish you happiness!
88. Daughter: Dad says there are no wild flowers at home. Aren't you jealous, mom? Mother replied: Why are you so narrow-minded? Domestic flowers are wild flowers, and I am also a wild flower in the eyes of others.
89. The doorman cleans in front of a family building. Suddenly, a watermelon skin fell from the sky and landed on the head of the doorman. The guard looked up and sighed: fortunately, it is watermelon skin! Laughter came from the window: Do you want watermelon?
90. I solemnly tell you that I opened this mountain, planted this tree, and everything here is mine, so take a rest and take everything here, let alone steal the sheep here, you damn wolf.
9 1, another beautiful weekend, my friend, put down your hurried steps and stop your heavy work! Happiness is accompanied by comfort! This weekend, let's have fun and relax!
92. Do you really want to know what I like about you? But I really dare not say it, and I have to say it. I just want you to stay away from me.
93. There is a kind of direct recklessness, a kind of persistence called paranoia, and a kind of blessing called obesity! May my dearest friend have a good appetite every day and become a pig as soon as possible!
94. You are as light as the wind, as gentle as water, as hazy as fog, as romantic as the moon, as warm as the sun, as tolerant as the sea, as healthy as an ox, as long as a tortoise and as lovely as a rabbit. In a word, you are not human!
95. Although I am walking alone at night, I am not alone, because I am surrounded by my family and friends, and you are just a nobody.
96. When you are happy, you share it with me; When I was sick and injured, you cured me; When I am lonely, I think what I think; When you are happy, watch for me silently; Every moment, you are with me. Without you, there would be no sunshine, ah, shadow!
97. He was discharged on Monday. Tuesday, hand in hand. Wednesday, first kiss. Thursday, in love. Friday, beautiful lies. Saturday, romantic goodbye. Sunday, rotation.
98. My friend has white hair and won't let me pull it out. He said that La 1 will change 10. I asked why? She said that her face turned white because the black hair around her saw her relatives being uprooted.
99. Funny sayings: It's too soon to steal the bell, and it's too late to change it without leaving its sect. It is not worth mentioning that if you don't sweep a house, why can you sweep the world invincible? When did I look up and find it was moonlight? Scared as an arrow, thousands of miles away.
100, missed countless friends last night. It's the best to think about it. I looked for you in the crowd, and suddenly I turned around, but you were lying in the depths of the pig shed! Fan, wake up countless mosquitoes!
10 1. Who the fuck is Bluetooth called old sow! Every time you turn on Bluetooth, the system prompts an old sow to pair up with you and pee with a smile.
102, the phone rang, which means I am thinking of you! Two voices mean I like you! Three voices mean I love you! When the seventh sound rings … damn it, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone!
103, I saw on the internet yesterday that the model of your mobile phone was extremely radioactive, which scared me. I was just about to inform you that I was relieved to see that it was useless to people with IQ below 50. Don't worry, keep using it.
104, practice a set of happiness, not too long; Kick your happy legs, don't be too late; Run for good luck, don't sweat; Dance a happy and sweet exercise, don't be confused; I wish you happiness everywhere!
105, I see you: a slave, with drooping hands, bright triangular eyes, four eyes staring, unsmooth facial features, six gods wearing Yin Qi, eight or two small heads, nine yellow beards, very unlike people.
106, a man told me that you can't eat anything. I gave him a good beating and slandered you like this. I don't know the rest. Don't you and I know? Besides eating, you can at least sleep, run and grind your teeth!
107, I've always wanted to say three words to you, but you know its weight. I'm afraid that once I say it, we won't even have to be friends. But I can't control my feelings and summon up courage to say to you: you are a pig!
108, in the desert, you are full of lofty sentiments, shouting and vibrating in the sky. Singing, watching the clouds move everywhere, holding a sword, asking who is the hero. Well, I have advised you to keep your voice down many times, but you just won't listen. Look, did you bring the wolf?
109, a primary school teacher talked about "Kong Rong making pears" and wanted to write about the motivation of making pears. The answers are mainly divided into four categories: pears are rotten; Kong Rong just had a toothache; Ask pear man to help him with his homework; Be famous.
1 10, I'm a little interested in you, I don't know what you mean. If you know what I mean, you might as well come out at night. If you are not interested, please send me a message to show your interest!
1 1 1. To be a man, you must pay attention to: one thing, one thing, one thing. Second, it is a big event. This is a big deal. Ah, I don't understand! You have suffered from illiteracy all your life!
1 12. A gentle woman is gold, a beautiful woman is a diamond, a smart woman is a treasure, and a lovely woman is a famous painting. According to my research, you should be the biggest treasure in the world, full of gold, diamonds and famous paintings.
1 13, it is a very happy thing to miss you; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.
1 14, the peach blossom has been in bloom for a long time. Where are you going? It's been hot for a long time. Did you take it? Dog owners are not allowed to beat you in the city? Peace can be called avoiding my heart! Master!
1 15, I heard that you were sentenced to 10 years. I'm surprised that you farted when you were swimming just now. A lot of fish floated up, including 20 divers and 8 submarines. But experts insist that you release chemical weapons, which is really cruel!
1 16, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was an idiot. He is so stupid that when people ask him any questions, he just shakes his head or answers "No". Have you heard this story?
1 17, the wind lifts your long hair, and you look more chic! The waves beat your feet, and you look more innocent! You face the morning glow in the east, just like a spray! It's hard to see that you are a fool if you are not an acquaintance!