Be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!
Why do you get up so early? The bar hasn't opened yet!
I don't wrestle with pigs for two reasons: one is to make me dirty, and the other is to make pigs happy.
When will you invite me to dinner? I'll go out and buy you a package of crispy noodles later.
Me Before You, my world is black and white. After knowing you, wow, it's all black.
I thought I was a flower on the cliff, but later I realized that I was just a scum in the sea of people.
What you get is low-level happiness, and what you don't want is high-level happiness.
A new father went to the province to vaccinate his son. After signing the name at the window and handing the list to the nurse at the window, the nurse smiled beautifully and said, Dad, give it to me. I don't know what to sell I gave you the list. As a result, the nurse said with emphasis, give me the pen!
In a word, 38 classic funny quotations _ come out and mix, your wife will change sooner or later.
10 has been busy and bored!
1 1 If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will find that I am a simpleton.
12 kettle, why are you crying? Is it because your ass is too hot?
13 Hold your hand and you will know that your son is ugly and his face is full of tears.
14 University is the best period for female breast development.
15 Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!
16 Don't wait for everyone to say that you are ugly before you realize that you are really ugly!
17 No matter which page you read, a book won't attract you after 5 minutes. Please don't hesitate to throw it away.
18 became an instant hit. This idiom actually describes ancient and modern female artists!
19 The party member activity of the Department of Mathematics forced girls to clean the boys' dormitory, which was really outrageous!
When you are 20 years old, your wife will change sooner or later!
2 1 I only had a nosebleed once, and I mistook the sanitary towel for a mask!
With your understanding, you may not understand what I explained, so you can continue to be vague.
Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic.
Stealing one person's ideas is plagiarism, while stealing many people's ideas is research.
You're not Huang Rong, you're a locust. Why do you want jing elder brother? You are shameless.
Heroes are sad. I'm not a hero. Beauty let me pass.
The happiest thing in the world, making love; The happiest thing in the world is to have a rest and have sex again.
Farrow said: Today is the Dragon Boat Festival. I treat you to zongzi, which is stuffed with human flesh. Hello? Please go to the mummy.
The tragedy of life is that when you want to do anything, you only have a knife.
30 distance produces not beauty, but a third party.
3 1 alas ~ This man has a good figure, even his headache is partial.
32 parents fool their children to call education; Children fool their parents and say that their parents are derailed; Fooling each other is called the generation gap.
Beheading is nothing. A scar the size of a bowl fell off my head. After 18, I am a zombie again.
I still remember coughing and seeing a doctor. The doctor told me to smoke less every day. In this way, I learned to smoke
Women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.
You planted a girlfriend in the back hill in spring, and you are cuckolded everywhere in autumn!
When life viciously turned everything into black humor, I followed suit and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education.
A woman is like a book on the shelf. Although you bought her, before you bought her, she was more or less overturned by several men.
Funny mood phrases come out to mix, and sooner or later my wife will change.
1 God will forgive me, because that's his job.
Some things, in retrospect, are like the swelling and nausea of not burping after drinking several glasses of beer.
Men like to keep accounts when there is no money at home, and women like to keep accounts when there is money at home.
This is a world where wages are not rising and prices are soaring.
The poorest men don't bargain when they buy food, and the richest women bargain when they buy food.
6 come out to mix, the wife will change sooner or later!
If the boss uses you, you are a talent. If you don't, you will be laid off.
Not so much love, just a little love. People give you the glad eye, and I only peek at you.
It's so warm to find that you have enough fat when you cool down.
10 You take your overpass and I'll take my underpass.
1 1 Happiness can be obtained through learning, although it is not our mother tongue.
12 Meet the wrong person at the right time and place.
13 The journey of exploration is not to discover the new continent, but to cultivate a new perspective.
14 Don't love everyone. If you love too much, your love will depreciate.
15 classic funny sentence-made a mistake, or forget it, it's over anyway.
16 I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
17 Life is a big market, and people buy this and sell that.
18 acne is the last battle of youth and years on my face.
19 The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.
A friend is someone who can see through you and still likes you.
2 1 Humor means that a person is interested in laughing when he wants to cry.
There are too many pleasantries, and the thickness of the face is obviously not enough.
What's the difference between marrying you and being a nun!
The world is so beautiful, but I am so grumpy, which is not good.
Life is like a cup of tea, it won't be bitter for a lifetime, but it will always be bitter for a while.
I was sad. I showed him my best side, but he saw the distant scenery.
Real bad guys are not terrible, fake good people are terrible.
28 road sees rough roar, when it's time to shoot, when it's time to shoot.
Women refuse love with friendship, and men exchange friendship for love.
I hate to drink less when I drink wine, and I know that I have little knowledge when I speak!
38 funny quotations in one sentence _ funny sentences
1, it's really hard to be a woman these days. You should be more open-minded, others say you are coquettish, but you should be more traditional, others say you pretend.
In the pigsty, you don't have to pay attention to human etiquette.
My mother taught me from an early age that there is no limit to learning, and it is time to turn back.
4. At the beginning of life, nature is good, you pay, I eat.
5, girls are precious, young women are more expensive, if there are rich women, both can be thrown away.
6, the cow hit the high-voltage line, it is really thunderous.
7. The garden couldn't be closed in spring, so I lured an apricot out of the fence.
8, forcing death is only an instant, shameless is eternal.
9, this kind of dress, you have to go back to bed for five minutes to buffer your mood. Who can understand?
10, don't be so busy, your old bitch is almost pregnant.
1 1. I really miss my childhood. I can go shirtless like a man on a hot day!
12, isn't equality between men and women implemented? Why can't I go to the ladies' room?
13, you don't even know Yao Ming, how can I play football with you? You are so funny.
14, I am not only lucky, but also have good athlete's foot.
15, I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps. Do you think I can't kick him in return?
16, throw it into the tiger cage for you. Even if the tiger doesn't dare to eat it, you are too jealous.
17, flip a coin: surf the internet head-on, sleep on the other side, and stand up and do your homework.
18, if there is next life, I must be your heart, because if I don't jump, you will die.
19, the wind is really blowing hard, blowing all my cell phone signals into Unicom!
20, don't be as optimistic as a fart, thinking that you can shake the earth.
2 1, sweet, fragrant, spicy, sour, bitter, so many flavors, but you just like Sao.
22. I went to the city to take part in the pigeon racing yesterday, but I went alone.
23, base is also an art, let's do this art well together!
24, your appearance is not accurate and your proportion is not good.
25. BBK lighters will not be ordered anywhere.
26. If people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.
27. When you fall asleep, you fall asleep with ideals and saliva.
28. The train to hell has left, please don't disturb it.
29. Those who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and those who don't eat fat are fearless.
30. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?
3 1, if I die, my first sentence is: finally I don't have to be afraid of ghosts.
32. I went blind just because I looked at you one more time in the crowd.
33, the face is a thing outside the body, you can take it or not, money is a must, you have to.
34. Once upon a time, someone ran in my space and died in less than two seconds.
35, on impulse, the crisis of later generations!
36. What is a class teacher? It is a person who has destroyed your friendship, your love and your affection.
37. Those who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and those who don't eat fat are fearless.
38. My mother said that the prodigal son will never change his money. Who will give me gold? I will change.
Think about life quietly, feeling that sentence will be returned sooner or later.
There is no such thing as failure for indomitable people.
A man's strong will is invincible!
Don't make any decisions when you are angry.
Sunset, infinitely beautiful, only near dusk.
A wise man's mouth is hidden in his heart, but a fool's heart is in his mouth.
Come out and hang out, you have to pay it back sooner or later!
The star scale is not accurate.
What kind of people will attract what kind of people.
Write down important ideas and methods and remind yourself at any time.
I'm busy whether I can go up or down.
Peaches and plums say nothing, but they go their own way.
Look for it and do it; Do not follow the trend, do not waver.
Stupidity is the misfortune that people incur (Minand)
Teenagers don't burn, but old people are sad.
Fine things are strong when tied together.
Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, so don't worry about it.
If you don't manage money, money will ignore you.
If you don't know what you want, don't say you don't have a chance.
Anger breeds poets; Loneliness gives birth to thoughts; Liveliness makes fashion.
Although the light spot of fireflies is weak, it is a challenge to the darkness to shine.
If we can live again, everyone will be successful.
Maturity is not the aging of the heart, but the tears are spinning and laughing.
Words must be done, and actions must be fruitful. -The Analects of Confucius
Who hasn't humbly begged for a little charity in front of love?
There is no eternal victory, only eternal efforts.
If you don't have too many abilities, don't have too many desires, otherwise it will be very painful.
Don't have two sides, analyze two sides of others.
Life can't be deceived, one should live aboveboard.
Become a behavior that is difficult to emulate (The Book of Songs is under the jurisdiction of the car)
As long as you don't bend your back, there is no mountain you can't afford.