I went to a baking training class last year and met a few foodie girls with similar interests. I even got closer to one of them, and I often said interesting things to make her laugh. . When we were leaving, a sister said to me, sister, you really love to laugh and are so happy every day. I said, yes, life is my own, why not be happy every day.
Making yourself happy is an ability, but this ability is not innate. As you get older, you find that this ability becomes more and more important. If you cannot make yourself happy, loneliness will come out to haunt you like a shadow from time to time, leaving you feeling empty and homeless.
Happiness seems to be a simple thing, but in fact it is not that simple. Different ages have different things that make them happy and happy points. When I was young, I was happy when I got a new piece of clothing; when I was young, I was happy when I got perfect scores; when I left home to study, I secretly lit candles after lights out at night and played tractor with my roommates; I am very happy every time I get a raise after working; when I am in love, my boyfriend is considerate and patient, and I am very happy...
When I am alone, there is less happiness, and there is less joy; When there are many people, there are more happy places, and naturally there will be more happiness. No matter how many people we have, we should all learn to make ourselves happy.
So how to make yourself happy? Third Young Master’s humble opinion is as follows.
If you are a lively and cheerful person who likes to be lively and makes friends, do not imitate others who want to become fresh and quiet; if you are an introverted and quiet person who does not like to sing and dance, do not imitate others. People want to be bold and unrestrained. In layman's terms, just don't show off.
I didn’t know myself well before. What I thought about most was what kind of person I wanted to be. After experiencing more things and seeing more things, I no longer think about this problem, but want to better understand myself, accept myself, and recognize what kind of person I am. A life of pretentiousness is so depressing, forcing you to smile in front of others but feeling sad behind others. Anyone who has ever pretended to be cool will understand, no need to explain. Can it come true if you just pretend and pretend? That's what you thought.
In life, just be yourself. When you are 20 years old, if you dream of becoming Jack Ma, you are ambitious. When you are 30 years old, if you dream of becoming Jack Ma, you are ideal. When you are 40 years old, if you still dream of becoming Jack Ma, it is delusion. You can be ambitious and have ideals, but it’s really not good to have delusions.
Could it be that there is so much dissatisfaction and so many complaints that there is something wrong with us?
Complaining about high housing prices, are you sleeping on the street now? no.
Complaining about work, are you currently unemployed at home and have nowhere to make a living? no.
Complaining about your partner, did his/her shortcomings only develop after marrying you? no.
Complaining about your child, when you were as old as him/her, you were already well-behaved and smart, and everything was easy for you? no.
I want to buy a house when I don’t have a house, and I want to upgrade to a bigger house after buying a house. When I didn't have a job, I looked for jobs everywhere, wishing I could humble myself in the dust. After working for a few years, I started to complain. I had more money but less work. Where can I find a job close to home? You introduce me and I will apply for a job. There are people who always talk about starting a business, but you quit your job to start one. Is starting a business just like playing house? Can anyone play it? !
Before getting married, he/she was perfect in your eyes. Hey, you will start to be picky after a few years of marriage. This sequence is extremely wrong. You should be more picky. Before marriage, not after. Before marriage, your eyesight should be sharp, and you should be picky and critical. After marriage, your eyesight should be soft, and you should wear sunglasses to appreciate the flowers, and they will all be stunning.
Your child is just an ordinary child, not a child prodigy. The probability of an ordinary family giving birth to a child prodigy is the same as the probability of winning a multimillion-dollar lottery. Since he/she is an ordinary child, just give him/her more time to learn and grow. Complaining will not help.
Self-esteem hurt by parents will take many years to repair when you grow up, and it may not be repaired well.
When we complain about life, we should think about whether we have the ability to realize those desires? Or, do you have the courage and courage to try to realize those desires. There is no shame in living a normal life. Most of the people in China are ordinary people like you and me, living ordinary lives. Be it Jack Ma or Wang Jianlin, there is only one in 1.3 billion.
A complaining heart cannot see any scenery, how can there be happiness.
People you don’t like will always be incompatible with you in many ways. Watch a movie, you like to watch humorous comedies, he/she likes to watch thrillers; have a meal together, you can talk casually, while pointing and being picky about the dishes you ordered; ask for opinions when shopping, and answer It’s always good. On the way back, he would scold you about the things you bought... which made you curse secretly and meow.
In life, it is inevitable to have to deal with people you don’t like. But it doesn’t matter. We can take the initiative and often go find the people we like to eat, drink tea, watch movies, go shopping... and when we have time, we can often read San Shao’s articles.
Ambiguity is the breeding ground for cheating, and cheating is the breeding ground for breakups. It's a bit shameless to have an affair with someone of the opposite sex after getting married, yes, it is shameless. Marriage is not a child's play. If you can't bear the burden of marriage, don't get married. The old saying, "Don't do porcelain work if it's not diamonds, don't do porcelain work" applies here too.
Cheating among unmarried people is a matter of character. Once a man or woman with this kind of character problem is discovered, they will definitely break up. Cheating is a bit like drug addiction. Even if you quit, the chance of relapse is very high. If you cheat when you are single, you are more likely to cheat after marriage. Why? Because I have experience, skills, and wonderful memories.
After the ambiguity, Xiao Qiang is in trouble. How can you be happy when you are busy dealing with the marital crisis? How can you be happy if you fight and argue after cheating and are eager to mend the relationship?
Running, fitness, raising pets, raising flowers and grass, raising succulents, painting, doing crafts, storage... It is not easy to find a hobby that suits your heart and can stick to it. I have been running for a year and have never run again. This is not a hobby. This is called a whim. If I continue to run until I retire, that is a hobby.
Hobbies, hobbies, not only love, but also good. If you like something and can do it well, and keep doing it, this is a hobby. I have run, exercised, raised flowers, grassed, and done crafts before... none of them persisted. After I got married and had some savings, I fell in love with traveling, especially making travel guides. Last year, I found another hobby. Compared with traveling, this hobby is more down-to-earth and closer to life: baking. I have written a summary of baking in 2016. If you are interested, you can click the link to read it.
Although this hobby takes time, I spend it with peace of mind. I experience the fun of talking to myself and the pleasure of getting along with myself.
If a person does not even have a close friend, he is a failure and very pitiful. Because that means that there are a lot of things you can't say to your parents, elders, husband, and men, and they will have nowhere to go and can only be blocked in your heart. Those words may be just temporary complaints and emotions, but if they are not allowed to be vented for a long time, the mood will be so depressed.
But a close friend also pays attention to being well-matched! Even if you are richer than you, even if you like each other, you will slowly find that you can't keep up with him/her if you follow him/her. Why? Because in real life, many aspects of interacting with friends cost money, such as eating. For working-class people, it would be nice to eat at Xibei Noodle Village together, but your rich friends may go to restaurants like Shuten. People who drive BMWs and people who take the subway cannot become confidants. People must be objective. The same is true for people who are poorer than you. You have to accommodate him/her, and then they will be separated. Only those who are equally matched can become close friends, and they will not be tired when they get along with each other without having to accommodate.