What should men do from being particularly enthusiastic to being particularly cold? Many women will make two extreme mistakes when they encounter this classic problem in love. Either try to be nice to him, the more he ignores you, the more you put him in the first place, the more he makes you angry, the more you lick your face and take the initiative to find him, trying to touch each other by providing value.
The result is often: the more you pay, the less the other person takes you seriously. The second is an excuse to break up and want the other party to stay, but once the other party doesn't stay, you can't hold back, let go of the principle and ask the other party instead. But these two practices will only make your sense of value lower and lower, and you will be less and less valued in your feelings.
What should be the correct approach? Don't take him as the center and live your own life. When he finds that you are not around him every day, and you have a good life without him, he will have a sense of crisis and hold on to you again. It is embodied in three aspects:
First, you should have your own interests.
Reading, musical instruments, fitness, cooking, skateboarding and games, cultivate as many hobbies as possible and try everything that can bring you pleasure. When you put more and more beautiful things into your life, you will have more and more happiness.
Second, you should have your own circle.
There are two cores in both friendship circle and career circle: self-confidence and happiness. The diversified expression of life allows you to pin your emotions on different people and things, rather than on your partner.
Third, you should maintain and constantly update your charm. Long-term intimacy depends on management and more on attraction.
Always spend 80% of your time and energy on self-growth, becoming more and more beautiful, attractive and happy. These are the prerequisites for your appreciation and love. Whether a man loves you or not depends first on your personality charm; How long a man will love you depends on the persistence and stability of your personality charm.
In feelings, men are becoming less and less concerned. Apart from men who are eager for novelty, part of the reason is that after you confirm the relationship, your value drops rapidly and you completely lose yourself. He and you are the only ones in your world, and you are emotionally unstable. You are often angry about trifles, lacking in emotional ability, aggressive and under great pressure to get along. When he pursues you, you are providing value, your charm, cuteness, cleverness, liveliness and so on. These are the values that you attract him to.
After being together, you become a value seeker, and you need him to take care of you all the time and tolerate your emotions. All the sources of your happiness can only be provided by him. Then once the value you ask for far exceeds the value you provide, you will easily fall into a trough, and this relationship is not far from ending.
Of course, there are also some men who are cold and distant from you, not because you are too hard or not doing well, but because he has never seriously thought about being with you from beginning to end. Some failed feelings, the problem is not you, you can introspect and improve, don't blame yourself too much.