The older you get, the more you will find that your leisure time is running out. Most people will start to "break up" and give up all meaningless social activities that consume life.
This meaningless social process is called "over-socialization".
"Socialization" sounds like a fashionable word, and many people enjoy it. From campus to society, social interaction is everywhere. In fact, from small to large, we are unconsciously doing some "over-social" things.
For example, sometimes it is not the teacher who receives homework and checks endorsements during the student period. The teacher will delegate power to those good students who he likes to examine.
Some people, in order to let them release water, will try their best to befriend them, but in fact they are often in the process of strong integration between the two circles. In fact, I don't agree with good students at all, but I still have to socialize for my own benefit.
Of course, this kind of campus "over-socialization" is already the most harmless and ineffective socialization. After all, the people and circles we can reach on campus are not large. In the case of a small base, less life and time will be wasted.
But in society, we are burdened with heavy work, and "excessive socialization" will erode our little leisure time.
Many times, it is not the work itself that makes us feel physically and mentally exhausted, but the "excessive socialization" extended from the work-and other social activities.
For example, in the group building organized by the company, you talk and laugh with colleagues in different positions, clink glasses and exchange WeChat, then you forget about it, and then start the next cycle-meet new "friends" at new parties, exchange WeChat, and then watch your address book and circle of friends "explode", and you will start to block it.
As a human society, everyone in China adheres to the principle of "connections and money" and hopes to become "friends all over the world". The concept of "many friends make things easy" is deeply rooted in people's hearts, which also urges us to make more friends in every possible environment.
But the fact is that even if many people add WeChat, they can't say a word for several years. Even after a long time, you will forget when and why you first added it.
In addition to real life, the "over-socialization" in the virtual world is even more confusing. The network gives people a virtual sense of security, because everyone doesn't know each other, so they are more unscrupulous and speak freely than in life.
Social networks allow people to completely copy their friends' relationships on the Internet. Many people are proud of their "mutual concern", especially if they have a "professional boss".
And countless social circles on the Internet are more likely to give people a sense of belonging and security because of their own pertinence.
The most typical one is the "pink circle". In real life, it may be difficult for you to meet a "kindred spirit" who likes the same star as you, but gathering all the people who like him online will give you a false sense of belonging, paralyze people's brains, make people feel that their team is very strong, and feel that they have become "friends" with these netizens with the same hobbies.
Many people will be immersed in such a false social interaction when they are young, but at the same time, many people feel more lonely and anxious in it.
If you make friends when you are young or exchange sincerity for sincerity, adults can pay too much for making friends, such as IQ, EQ, money and even work. Adults need to spend more energy to make friends than children.
"Oversocializing" and making friends will degrade your social life and engage in more meaningless social activities. Only by making exquisite friends can we make sincere friends.
People are social animals, and social behaviors satisfy people's social psychology. People are eager to be understood, and the premise of understanding is to be "seen", because being "seen" is valuable in society.
The hidden psychology behind "excessive socialization" is to show one's sense of existence. Only by constantly providing "nutrients" to others can we continuously attract others.
In fact, really smart people will choose to keep a certain distance from others.
The negative impact of "excessive socialization" far exceeds the "benefits" we imagined in our own hearts. Many times we constantly expand our social circle for our future.
I always feel that this person may be helpful to my future work/life, so I haven't talked for a few days, and I don't even know each other very well, but I still refuse to delete each other.
This kind of psychology is actually the same as something that is difficult to "give up"-I always feel that I don't need it now, but what if I give up and use it again?
At this time, in fact, what you need to do is to constantly improve your value.
Only by being yourself and knowing what you really want and what you should do can you meet real friends.
When your own value is not high, no matter how many "friends" there are, it is just a false and prosperous social interaction.
Healthy social interaction is open, free and two-way. If it becomes a simple exchange of interests, we must attach the value of both sides to each other. Valuable, then this kind of socialization is successful; It's worthless, so this kind of socialization will be abandoned one day.
In life, it is often enough to get one or two intimate friends. "Oversocializing" consumes your time, life and enthusiasm for making friends.
Just because you have many "friends" doesn't mean you won't be lonely. Some people may have 100 friends, but none of them can really understand their hearts. I have to say, it's pretty sad.
A healthy life is inseparable from healthy friends. True friendship is mutual and equal. I hope you and I can find it.