I'm glad to know that you have a girlfriend, and I'm glad that you told us now, so that we can have a chance to guide you more. The study of love experience, literature and art, decades of joys and sorrows among friends, and usual observation and thinking make us more qualified to participate in opinions on the lifelong events of our children than other parents, and help you pass this life mark.
First of all, keep your attitude and mood as calm as possible, otherwise the observation will not be accurate. Initial communication is easy to be emotional, and only by impression, we can see each other's advantages, but we can't see the shortcomings, even if we meet friends of the same sex, especially for the opposite sex.
During the period of emotional excitement, you will not only be hard of hearing, unclear and unable to see each other clearly; I will unconsciously only show the good side and hide the shortcomings. There is another advantage of staying calm, that is, you won't neglect your career for falling in love, or affect your homework, or waste your time, or damage your health, or disturb your mood when you encounter big or small twists and turns.
it is very difficult to be calm, not only in superficial actions, but also in the heart and mind. People are always human, emotionally, it is not easy to control, and it is even more difficult for young people to maintain a balance between body and mind without love experience. At the same time, it is related to everyone's temperament. I can't be calm and easily excited in my life, which is my great shortcoming. Fortunately, we can analyze objectively and think carefully afterwards, so as not to make the spirit on the spot continue to develop and get out of hand.
I tell you this to let you know that if you can't restrain yourself temporarily, you must control the overall situation by reason later; Correct what should be corrected, apologize to others, and close the tent when it is time to close it. In a word, the above two points can be summarized as follows: Emotion must be controlled by reason. To do this, we must work hard and exercise in real life for a long time.
I've never had the idea that love is the highest in my life. "Truth is supreme", "morality is supreme" and "justice is supreme", all of which should be established principles. Love can't violate these principles no matter how feverish it is at its climax. Friends or lovers, when it comes to important issues, such as truth, morality, justice and so on, we must never give in.
Secondly, people are the most complicated animals, so observation must not be simplified, but should be patient, meticulous and in-depth, after a considerable time, various accidents and occasions.
the objective spirit should be combined with the compassion of compassion everywhere. The advantages of the other party should be recognized whether they are true and reliable, whether they are imagined by yourself, or exaggerated. Whether the shortcomings of the other party are related to the essence should be separated. The shortcomings related to essence cannot be ignored because there are many other minor advantages. Minor shortcomings must also be identified whether they can be corrected or whether their development will affect character or daily life. Everyone has shortcomings, both men and women in love.
The problem is not to find a partner who has no shortcomings at all, but to find a partner who can recognize and admit their shortcomings, be willing to change gradually, and tolerate each other at the same time (this is very important. Some shortcomings can be tolerated by both sides; Others can't tolerate it, and the time will cause cracks. It's best for both sides to be as natural as possible, not artificial, and everyone should show their true colors and let the other side see their advantages and disadvantages together.
Only when we have seen each other's advantages and disadvantages, and feel that we can tolerate each other and will not affect the overall situation, can we talk about further understanding; Otherwise, you can only be an ordinary friend. However, it takes a long time to fully see each other's advantages and disadvantages, and it also needs all kinds of accidents, big and small, to test them; Absolutely not in a hurry! You can't easily draw conclusions! Only by being extremely frank (whether it is a good conclusion or a bad conclusion) can you expose yourself; And exposing your own shortcomings is always the sooner the better, the later the worse! People who try to hide their shortcomings in order to succeed in love are actually stupid.
Of course, in love, you unconsciously show your bright side and unconsciously hide your shortcomings, which is not the case. Because this is human instinct, and it also proves that love can make us progress and develop in the direction of goodness and beauty, which is the greatness of love and the main reason why poets have praised love throughout the ages ...
Subjectively, things are expected to be achieved, but objectively, we still need to be prepared in case they fail. In order to avoid the pain of being lovelorn, I think this is "wise" and we should fully grasp it from the beginning ...
The more important it is, the more calm we should be, the more serene we should be, take a long-term view, observe carefully and strive to be objective! It's easy for feelings to reach the peak, but the peak (or climax) of anything can only last for a short time, but it's very difficult to maintain a long-term friendship for a long time ... < P > Apart from advantages and disadvantages, whether they are congenial in personality and temper is also an important factor. The differences between rigidity, softness and urgency should be able to adapt to each other. There are also many small habits that can't be said or counted between actions, attitudes, jokes and voices, which also play a great role between men and women. To understand these, we have to look on coldly and slowly suck up.
poets often say that love is blind, but love that is not blind is more sound and reliable after all. We should also pay great attention to people's elegance and generosity. You have been used to seeing the style of your family since childhood, so you will not tolerate your narrow-minded personality.
The above is all about the principle of keeping everything in a cage ...
Although looks and figures are not the main consideration, you can't ignore them too much in a person who loves beauty.
during making friends, try to give less gifts and spend less money: on the one hand, it shows that your love concept has little to do with material relations; On the other hand, it is also a test of each other.
-fu lei