Yes! Everyone is the moon, and there is always a dark side that no one can see. Sometimes truth is more absurd than fiction, because fiction is carried out under certain logic, while reality is often illogical.
I deeply remember that Bacon said two words in On Kindness: "People should be kind, but doing good can't be based on feelings only, but also on rational guidance.
If we are with low-level people, we will be influenced by them to some extent, or become at a loss, or vulgar, vain, or become small people who talk behind their backs.
As the saying goes, those who are near Zhu Zhechi are black. Whether you are poor or rich in the future, whether your taste is elegant or vulgar, it depends on your friends.
Because people are creatures easily influenced by the surrounding environment, friends' values will get closer and closer unconsciously.
The price of life is to stay away from the "villain": a gentleman means justice, and "villain" means profit. A gentleman knows morality, and a "villain" only cares about interests. In daily life, no one wants to make friends with "little people", but most of the time, if you don't have the "critical eye" like the Monkey King, it's hard to tell the appearance of "little people". Confucius, on the other hand, has been dealing with people all his life, so he also has his own views on "judging people".
Stay away from fools, stupidity is evil. The so-called garbage man is a self-centered, extremely selfish poor man who combines inferiority, conceit and ignorance. They run around, full of frustration, anger, jealousy, hatred and calculation, and can't hide the kindness of others. Whoever accidentally touches them becomes their trash can.
Men are stupid, they will be deceived by female liars and lust. If a woman is stupid, she will be cheated by a male liar. A few sweet words will make her stop. The little girl naively believes in love, after all, she is not deeply involved in the world.
An adult woman, with the same IQ as a little girl, naively thinks that she has met love. Even if you are a woman, you really met love, and even 50 thousand yuan from your family was taken away. Are men and women looking for migrant workers?
A responsible man, even if he is a migrant worker, even if he has nothing, will not miss a woman taking all her husband's money, even if it is 50 thousand yuan.
If you are true love, you will love by any means, at least you can't take your husband's money. Besides, the husband has children. This woman is heartless and stupid.
When the money is cheated by men, and people have had enough fun with men, she will be like a lost dog. I don't want a husband and children, which shows that marrying a wife is also very risky. There must be no such beautiful and stupid woman. She can't find the north because of a few sweet words from men outside.
Under the guidance of reason, we can make kindness wise and make kindness sharp. Only in this way can kindness distinguish the truth. Good reason is the highest state of goodness.
Chai Jing once said, "A person who is too active, even confessing the dark side of his heart, often makes people who originally wanted to explore his inner weakness feel embarrassed and a little uneasy."
There is a proverb that even the cleverest person is stupid. It is said that some people look stupid, but they are actually full of wisdom. Such a person belongs to hidden mountains and dew, and belongs to a relatively subtle wise man.
At the same time, there are many people who are just the opposite, that is, they look smart, but they are actually stupid. Being with such people for a long time will make people feel that their behavior will be very chilling.
There are four kinds of people who seem to be smart, but they are actually stupid. People who are not good at staying with them should stay away as soon as possible, otherwise they will exert a subtle influence and lower their level. It is wise to stay away in time and stop loss in time.
For example, in the face of people who don't have a deep relationship, we don't need to be on call, let alone rushing to pay the bill, but should be "a red heart, two hands ready." When talking to people, don't push too hard, and don't try your best to please others.
Because people are sinister and human feelings are as thin as paper, you will only spoil people who push their luck. The world is cold and people's hearts are as cold as iron. You've been giving your best, and you're only arrogant and ungrateful.
Some people, who are kind on the surface and extremely insidious, are wolves in sheep's clothing. Know a man's face, but not his heart. Pay more attention to people. In this world, many people live with masks!
Pity and sympathy are feelings that have no value and can't last. Even if someone pities you, it can't prove that he is sincere to you. Sincerity and pity are not equal.
Only when you are strong, you don't need the pity of others. Begging for comfort and pity from others can only make people look down on it, and it is even more impossible to get real friendship. The last person to get hurt is himself.
Punishment is extremely harsh. Hurting people with words is the ultimate punishment. Misfortune comes from the mouth, and the curse caused by words is likely to lead to extinction.
Many people bicker because of a trivial matter, but they fight and even cause murders, all of which are caused by foul language.
There are no rivers and lakes in this world, but there are many rivers and lakes. There are no bad people in this world, but there are many people. In order to fight for power and profit, there are villains. There was no conspiracy in this world, but the villains played a conspiracy to be called the winner.
Where there is a conspiracy, there is an open plan. Conspiracy and conspiracy are corresponding and antagonistic. Conspiracy is doing bad things in secret, and conspiracy is doing good things in public. Conspiracy is shady. Conspiracy can advertise all over the world. The plot is secretive and the plot is open.
Conspiracy is easy to expose, and open plans are aboveboard. After the conspiracy was exposed, it went bankrupt directly and everyone shouted; After the announcement, the open plan braved the wind and waves, and everyone applauded.
Conspiracy is unpopular, conspiracy unites people. If the plot is unsuccessful, the open plan will win the moon. The conspirators are bad guys and villains. A conspirator can be a good person or a bad person. The conspirators have bad records and no taste. The schemer is advanced, the road is high, and the talent is deep.
If the open plan is adopted by kind people, it will be light and windy, dry and clear; If you are adopted by the bad guys, you will teach people obscenity and steal, and there will be no darkness.
When you listen to the conspiracy, everyone is disgusted and alert; Everyone appreciates the conspiracy and likes it. This shows that the public plan is more deceptive. In other words, an open plan is easier to succeed and achieve goals. Moreover, the open plan can absorb good people and bad people together and work together for a certain purpose.
Conspiracy is different, only in the dark, with limited power; Only among a few people, not public; You can only sneak around, but you can't show your strength. Therefore, the probability of successful conspiracy is very low and the cost of exposure is very high.
People who play conspiracy are not experts, let alone wise people; The people who play the open scheme are not only masters, but also masters in the world. Without enough wisdom, enough brains, enough ability and enough courage, you can't play an open plan, you can't play an open plan, and you can't reach the point of pure fire.
The dragons and phoenixes among the good guys and the best among the bad guys are all concentrated among those who play public schemes. Good people play tricks, such as benevolent people repairing the world; Bad people who play tricks on others, such as villains, disturb the world. If the benevolent rule the world, it will be peaceful and prosperous; The villain is in power, and the tigers and wolves are rampant.
A schemer is like a canoe in the sea, frightening and doomed to capsize; Open-minded people, such as pushing wagons in the square, are free and sound.
Real masters and gentlemen are often a little conspiracy, with a slight stroke, to break the conspiracy with an open plan; The real villain never thought of using an open plan, but only hid his ears in a secret. An open plan travels thousands of miles, but a conspiracy is hard to succeed. Learn some conspiracy and refuse it. Cheer for a glorious life.
People who speak ill of you behind your back will also have a negative impact on you. A hundred good words from others may not spread widely, but one bad word from you may become the talk of others after dinner.
A wise man knows the time, but a stubborn man argues. It is a wise man's practice to know it, and those who work hard and do their best will often get nothing in the end.
People with high emotional intelligence never compete with others, because even if they win, what's the use? The loser must hold a grudge, and will try his best to fool you behind your back, and may even ruin your big event.
Sometimes, even if it is reasonable, you don't have to stick to your own opinions, but you have to learn to integrate with other different opinions in order to go further and more steadily.
A gentleman cherishes fame, but a villain loves his body. Confucius said: A gentleman worries about Tao but not poverty. A gentleman values reputation over money. The villain cares more about his own vital interests, and whoever harms his interests will inevitably retaliate.
Therefore, to get along with a gentleman and maintain his reputation, he will regard his reputation as life. Get along with the villain, don't harm his interests and let him take advantage, so that he won't be bad to you. Gentlemen should make friends, villains should get along, and when walking in society, everyone must make friends to move forward.
A person's heart is deceptive, not his appearance. People's hearts are separated by their bellies, which is unpredictable. A man knows his face but not his heart. Don't listen to what others say. Only by looking at the surface of their scenery, you can't see his real thoughts.
Everyone will do something to his face and do something behind his back, just to see who is right and who is wrong, because this is a way of self-protection. Beware of being deceived by some seemingly sincere people. It is better to keep an eye on everything.
There are too many people in society who exaggerate you on the surface and speak ill of you behind your back. I hope you are ruined. It takes a long time to meet people and make friends.
The world of adults should be decisive and crisp. It is a kindness not to delay anyone, not to consume anyone, and not to waste anyone. All misfortunes have time limits. No matter how hard life is, stick to your original intention and go upstream, because one day, someone will come to you in Dai Yue.
Don't comment on unfounded things, don't embellish, don't reverse right and wrong, and do things with a clear conscience. This is the basic quality of an adult. Only by being honest can we keep a calm heart.
In the adult world, emotional stability is an important course, and being the master of one's own emotions is a skill that needs to be cultivated. A person's cultivation needs a process of further improvement. If you want to live a colorful life every day and judge others casually, it is easy to make yourself monotonous and muddle along. Because, the master of life, never let emotions control himself.
What kind of people we are and what kind of road we take depend entirely on ourselves. What kind of people we are, of course, only we know best. Others give us the definition of "looking at the moon in the water and seeing flowers in the fog". We can't see the essence when we see the appearance, but we can't see the whole picture when we see the part, or we can only see the static presentation of a person in a certain situation, but we can't see the dynamic changes of the situation.
Others can judge a person according to what they see in their eyes and their subjective feelings, but they are not qualified to define a person. Defining others and calling a developing person a dead person by definition are inevitably suspected of being smart and overreaching.
A confident and independent person will not and should not be bound by the definitions of self-sufficiency and intelligence. A person with an attitude and wisdom should not let those malicious comments or definitions affect his mood and interfere with his life. Don't you know who you are? Will your life be affected by others' specious and half-baked remarks?
If you take those malicious comments or definitions to heart, you will be entangled in pain and cannot extricate yourself. It can only show that you are not a mature person who is completely confident and has an objective understanding of yourself; Either your psychology is still very fragile, you lack the tempering of life, you have not experienced enough ups and downs, and your mind is not open enough to tolerate criticism from others.
What you need most in this period is not how to continue to be nice to you in your life, but to go through more trials and tribulations and overcome the hurdle of sarcasm. If you survive all kinds of criticisms and denials against you, learn lessons and sum up experience, still stick to what you think is right, still keep running towards the sun, become more introverted, deeper and wiser, and prove that you are really mature and truly become an indomitable person. On the other hand, those denials and accusations have contributed to your accelerated growth, which is not necessarily a good thing.
We must attach importance to other people's well-intentioned criticism, take other people's opinions as a mirror, look at what we can't see at any time, or see what we ignore, and insist on "correcting what we have and encouraging what we have." Only in this way can it get better and better.
We hope that all people are kind people, can appreciate the advantages of others in good faith and point out their shortcomings; I hope all people are heartless, can stand in others' position and understand others' thoughts, try not to hurt others when speaking or doing things, and can understand the pain when others are denied and attacked.
However, not everyone can be kind, speak with conscience, tell the truth, empathize and be considerate.
Bad habits in human nature, such as jealousy, intolerance, discrimination and extremism, have always haunted some people's minds like ghosts for thousands of years, affecting their positions and horizons in seeing things and people. These narrowness and prejudice not only affect their own cognition, but also limit their progress and growth. A few of them also turn their narrow and extreme ideas into malicious bullets and shoot at people they think can be bullied, creating some troubles for a harmonious society and a peaceful life.
No matter how powerful a person is, he can't stop others from gossiping. No matter how good a person is, there is no guarantee that he will not be attacked by others. We can't control what others say, but we can control ourselves and decide what we say and do. As human beings, we can't obey and satisfy everyone's wishes. We can only try our best to do better according to our own wishes, make ourselves more satisfied, and make the righteousness and conscience of society more satisfied.
Before deciding what to say and do, we should think about the good and bad results that may be produced by doing so, strive to speak more comprehensively and do better, and try to avoid causing bad comments and big risks. If you do this, you must move forward without hesitation. No matter how others define your words and deeds or take them out of context, don't back down and give up your original intention.
A mature and rational person should discuss right and wrong, right and wrong, and ways to correct and make up for it with a rational voice close to his own cognition. If you discuss with those voices that are completely different from your cognition and are in two worlds, it will do you no good except bring shame, anger and waste time. Some things, if discussed in a rational crowd, will become clearer and clearer, which will raise people's cognition to a new level; Some things, discussed with those who follow their feelings completely and lack rational analysis, become more and more complicated and become a mess that can never be sorted out.
No matter what we do, there will always be people pointing and pointing, and there will always be people who like to define others. Some people's definitions will play a positive role in enhancing self-confidence, affirming encouragement, insufficient understanding, developing advantages and making up for deficiencies. However, some people's definitions will deliberately obliterate the advantages of others, specifically dig and amplify the shortcomings of others, attack the negative effects of others' self-confidence and damage others' self-esteem. A small shortcoming or personality difference will also make people want to get into a dead end because of these general definitions
A person who really does things will always have many pairs of eyes staring at your every move and commenting on it. The more things you do, the more people talk about it. Many things, if you don't provoke others, others will always provoke you. The more you are afraid, the more you shrink back, the more people will chase you. So what should we do? Do you want to spend your precious time on these boring and disturbing evaluations and definitions, and compete with those who find fault and take it out on someone?
I once read a story to the effect that a lion and his son were walking on the road when they met some mad dogs barking at them. The lion ignored these mad dogs and went straight ahead. The lion's son didn't understand his father's behavior and asked his father, aren't you even afraid of tigers? Why are you afraid of these dogs? The lion said to his son, they are not in the same class as me, and they are out of their minds. Why should I waste my time competing with these rabies people? It's important to go your own way.
In my opinion, this story is enlightening to those who are obsessed with some attacks and smears that have nothing to do with principles, personality and personality.
If we encounter irrational attacks by others that do not involve personality and principles, we can't control our emotions, so we can only use irrational and immature language to fight back and let ourselves fall into a vicious circle. No matter how reasonable we are before, we will lose our minds because of our irrational attacks. No one will say who is who. Especially those public figures, every move, every word and deed in public should be considered as comprehensively as possible, and their words and deeds should be cautious. They must not let the emotions at that time dominate their speeches, and must not be impulsive.
Of course, if you encounter slander and slander involving personality and principles, you should resolutely and decisively give a well-founded counterattack, stop loss in time, and don't hesitate, otherwise "it will be chaotic as soon as you stop." A lie repeated a hundred times will be said to be true, causing endless harm.
We should live in our own self-confidence and hard work, not in the definition given to us by others. If you don't want to pay attention to those voices that hit your confidence, bring you a serious psychological burden and affect your progress, you can completely block out these noises and concentrate on what you should do.
In the vast world, it is impossible to have spring breeze and bright sunshine forever. There will be wind and rain, plants, thorns, magnificent rivers and mountains, desolate deserts, flat roads and rugged mountain roads. The road of life will be smooth and long, and there will be a difficult period of spring breeze and horseshoe disease. There will always be ups and downs in a person's life, and there will always be people with ulterior motives to disturb your mind. It depends on how you choose whether you can survive the difficulties and let go or lose heart.
No one can define you, no one can decide how you should go, everything depends on yourself. We live in this highly competitive society, and many things will be restricted by objective factors.
For example, the social division of labor is as dense as a spider's web, and there are thousands of professional posts in Qian Qian, but we can't choose our favorite occupation completely according to our own wishes; We try our best and can't completely decide whether we are rich or poor in this life; No matter how hard we try, we can't predict what height we can reach in our career; No matter how beautiful and talented we are when we are young, we can't avoid the law of birth, illness and death, nor can we escape the loneliness of old age.
However, we can completely decide what kind of person to be, what path to take, what to do and what not to do. We can't completely control our own destiny, but we can control our own life direction.
We should not be superstitious about any definition given to us by anyone, we should not be bound by the definition given to us by others, and we should not succumb to those definitions that deny us. There is no fixed definition in the world, and there is no irrefutable definition. Because things are always changing and developing, the connotation and extension of a thing's definition will eventually change.
Even people who write history will not easily define a period of history. Although writing history is subjective and limited, it will try to describe historical facts and figures objectively and fairly in concise language, restore the truth of history as much as possible, and will not praise a person with extremely praised words, nor will it attack and satirize a person with extremely derogatory words. If the definition deviates from the objective truth in the historical state at that time, later generations will re-examine it to make up for the defects of historical facts.
Even the ultimate definition of burying a coffin after death, except for those wicked people who do evil, will also collect their life's good deeds and merits to praise, give people a kind and satisfactory conclusion, and will not expose people's shortcomings and make people unable to be clean after death. Because doing good is the eternal mainstream of human society.
Therefore, don't define others easily, don't look at others with dull and short-sighted eyes, and kill others with one stick; Don't affect the improvement of your pattern and quality because of the rigid way of thinking.
There are fewer words and deeds that define others in the world; Even if someone gives you a wrong definition, don't pay attention to it. Focus on doing your own thing, go your own way, and give yourself a satisfactory definition. In this way, there will be less right and wrong in the world, less tangled pain that people can't let go, and people will have more time to do things that are beneficial to themselves and society.
We should not judge other people's lives from our own perspective, because everyone's behavior has their own starting point and reasons. We can't judge the behavior and character of people who haven't lived together for a long time and don't know much about them.
There is a good saying: when you point one finger at others, the other four fingers are pointing at yourself! Don't judge other people's lives at will, whether it is good or bad; There is no empathy in the world, we can only manage ourselves and don't judge others!
Where there are people, it is the rivers and lakes. Jianghu is sinister and unpredictable. I always feel that I am the only one who takes everyone seriously. It's not that you can't play with your heart, nor can you flatter yourself. However, as a social person, the longer you live in the society, the more you find yourself out of tune with this society, even the "alternative" of society. The most sinister place in the Jianghu is that some people wear hypocritical masks, but their hearts are full of intrigue. Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes. When you have tasted the ruthlessness of society, the oppression of money and the viciousness of human heart, you will eventually learn to coexist with it.
The heart is like a well, unfathomable. There are two things in the world that you can't look directly at, one is the sun and the other is the human heart. As the saying goes, it is difficult to draw a tiger skin but a bone. Not because the world is too dark, but because the human heart is too unpredictable. In fact, there is no need to harm people, and there is no need to prevent people. This is dialectical.
Similarly, you can not deceive others, but you must guard against people's fraud, and the advantages and disadvantages complement each other, so that people can be smart, thoughtful and harmonious. This is also a manifestation of human understanding. The real society is complicated, and people cannot trust others under any circumstances. Although people don't have to be hypocritical, they must be defensive. People mean no harm, but tigers hurt people's hearts.
Life always advances in contradiction, as the saying goes, "Where there are people, there are rivers and lakes". There are often some contradictions between us, which often lead to unexpected consequences because of improper handling. What should we do in the face of these contradictions?
Getting along with others is a science. If you are too far away, the relationship will be weak. It's too reliable, and the resentment is coming. Life is like a ruler, you should be measured, be emotional, don't cross the line, and keep "three distances": measured words, measured drama and mutual respect. As the saying goes, "distance produces beauty", and the best relationship between people is four words: keep your distance.
As the saying goes, you depend on your parents at home and your friends when you go out. When a person is away from home, he will always encounter some things that are difficult for him to solve, and it is inevitable that he needs the help of his friends. Go out and work hard, there are some things to say, and true friends are good listeners.
Facing the complicated and changeable society, people in the world have ulterior motives, so we must know who can make friends, who can make friends casually and who can never make friends.
There is a saying in "Hu Jiaxun": first light and then thick, first sparse and then dense, first far and then close, and the way to make friends is also. The so-called horse power is known from afar, and people will see it for a long time. When I get along with people for the first time, I am most afraid of telling each other what I have said to others. If the other person approaches you with a purpose, then he will tell the other person many secrets invisibly, and may get hurt in the future.
A gentleman is as light as water, the older he gets, the truer he is. The population is as small as honey, and it is an enemy in an instant. To make friends, you must have your own principles and bottom line, and know who can make friends and who should stay away.
The so-called "there is little kindness in the world, and the opposite is ruthless." The heartless people across the street will say anything when they make friends with you. Once there is a contradiction, they will go their separate ways immediately.
This kind of person turns his face faster than turning pages. When I meet some trivial things, one second I'm still talking and laughing, and the next I'm turning my back on people. To put it bluntly, as long as he is unhappy, he will have a hard time with you.
Ruthlessness is the most striking feature of such people. Whether you are right or wrong, in a word: be reasonable and unreasonable, but also argue irrationally. The most ruthless thing is that they never give people a way out, let alone think that they can give you a step down.
There is a saying in "Zengguang Xianwen": "It is shocking to see through human feelings, and it is chilling to see through the world." A hypocrite is one thing on the surface and another behind it. Telling people right and wrong in front of you, turning around and telling you in front of others, typical two sides.
This kind of person is best at pretending to be kind on the surface, but in fact he is very cunning inside. In the workplace, such people like to instruct others to do some risky things. On the surface, they gave good things to others, but in fact, they just wanted to benefit from them. Once things get too big, put them off immediately.
Hypocrites have double standards about things. What they do is always right, and what others do is always wrong. They will try to convince you, change your inner thoughts and use them. When you get along with such people, you must have a little opinion, and don't be led astray carelessly.
People who forget their righteousness and interests are generally narrow-minded and can betray their friends for a small profit. "Starting with money, seeking profit only" is their motto in life.
The starting point of their communication with people is always the interest first. In their eyes, friendship is just a naked transaction, and human nature disappears, harming others and benefiting themselves.
Sometimes, in order to recognize a person, it is worthwhile to pay some price. Just keep your heart. In short, you can't be close to people who forget their interests, even casual acquaintances.
The so-called disloyal people are mostly opportunistic. Whether at home or in the workplace, these people are always half-hearted and mercenary.
As the old saying goes, "Filial piety is the first virtue". The so-called filial piety should first be careful, not superficial. The value of true filial piety lies in that actions are always more than words.
Kindness and loyalty, even if they are misled by others for a while, will eventually get lost. People who are unfaithful and unfilial have no sense of belonging, let alone gratitude, let alone making friends.
Born as a man, he can make mistakes, know mistakes and change them, and be kind. The terrible thing is that a leopard cannot change his spots, a leopard cannot change his spots, and carelessness is the best policy.
Anyone who speculates on people's intelligence and measures their talents is trying to attract talents from far away, attract talents from nearby, create momentum, and further grasp the law of development and change of things. First of all, we should consider the similarities and differences between factions, distinguish all kinds of right and wrong arguments, understand all kinds of internal and external suggestions, grasp the degree of surplus and deficiency, and decide the strategy related to security.
Determine who you are close to and who you are alienated from. Then weigh these relationships, and if there are still unclear places, we must study and explore them to make them work for us. Borrow some words to lure your opponent to talk, and then muzzle him with compliments. Hook-and-loop is a kind of lobbying rhetoric, which is characterized by sudden similarities and differences.
For those opponents who can't control through hook-up, they are still threatened by inducement first, and then try again and again; Or try again and again, then attack them and destroy them.
Some people think that repeated temptation is equivalent to destroying each other, while others think that destroying each other is equivalent to repeated temptation. When you want to reuse some people, you might as well give them property, jewelry, jade, white jade and beautiful things to test first; Or through measurement, we can create a situation that attracts them; Or by looking for loopholes to control each other, in this process, we should use counter-productive methods.
* * * Encourage!
Author: young crops