The complete works of funny copywriting (selected 49 sentences) 1. Civil servants are not afraid of drinking, but just idle. Xishui Yanghe? Make waves, Confucius? Good wine can make mud balls disappear. Drunk? Warm in the stomach? Tequ? Brave but not indifferent, happier? Maotai Wuliangye? After the escort, I will smile. The two of us slept together yesterday, and the noisy people couldn't sleep. You are mad, rummaging through the cupboard for a plate of mosquito-repellent incense. I advise you to say: it's not summer yet, so you don't need that thing! ? You don't listen to advice, shouting: I want to order! I want to order! ? The hospital picked you up. Take care of yourself! 3. Wu Bai's younger brother is 250, Madonna's younger brother is McDonald's, and Si Long's younger brother has too much shit. 4. Our feelings, under the guidance of a series of correct principles and policies of the Party, under the cordial care of the Party, and under the personal questioning of the leaders, are developing vigorously along the healthy road in the past year! 5. Kill you. I am afraid of blood. Poison you. There are too many fake medicines. Electrocute you. The electricity bill is too expensive. Drown you. Maybe you can swim, but you still want to die! 6. The climber said to his companions at the summit: It took us almost a lifetime to plant the national flag in order to climb Mount Everest, but it was worth it. Pass me the flag. The companion exclaimed: What, I thought you had it? 7. You always say that I am worthless. I can't fart or shit with a stick because the earth has no gravity, which makes you very dissatisfied, but I'm also interested. Come on, put on the ring with 48K pure iron! 8. Father: You are so old, it's time to find a wife. Son: Yes, but there are too many people. Whose wife am I looking for? 9. The happiest thing in life is that I can do what others can't. For example, I can send a text message to scold you, but you don't know who I am, hahaha! 10. An actor came back from his performance and said to his friend: My performance was very successful, and the applause of the audience lasted for a long time. But next week will be difficult, because the temperature will drop, so there will be much fewer mosquitoes. 1 1. According to your birthday, you are sure to make a windfall today. Blowing an explosive hairstyle, wearing patched clothes, holding a wooden stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left hand, walking down the street, muttering: Do me a favor! ? 12. Father: You are so old, it's time to find a wife. Son: Yes, but there are too many people. Whose wife am I looking for? 13. Meeting you; I was at a loss in panic; Your loving eyes; I can't avoid it; Know your heart; I tried to avoid it; You follow closely; I cried; Whose dog is this? 14. Someone farted on the bus. The coquettish woman spits. Bah! Bah! . A man said, why, you spit out your shell after eating fart! 15. It's raining. I like walking in the rain with an umbrella. It's so comfortable to cover your head with an umbrella, as if you were the only one in the world. Until I was hit by a motorcycle rider, I was stupid when I was a child. My uncle came to my house as a guest, and my mother asked me to pour tea for my uncle. I poured the cup, put it in my uncle's hand, and accidentally spilled water on my uncle's pants. After apologizing, my mother said there was too little water and asked me to pour more. Then I poured the remaining half a glass of water on my uncle's pants. 17. I went to get a tattoo yesterday and told my master to give me a tattoo of loyalty to my country. The master said that you should take an anesthetic to sleep first, and then get a tattoo when you wake up. 18. After a sleep, I woke up to find that the tattoo was still grinning. I asked the master, do you still have tattoos? The master said with great sweat, soon, the tattoo reached the south of the horseshoe, and people looked north. 19. A pair of schoolmates CP, girls recite 520 words to show their love on Tanabata, and boys know the words 13 14. I have never seen such a strong love. 20. Xiaoming, who went to elementary school on holiday, said to his mother when he ran the first lap on his bike. Mom, look, look, I can ride without hands. ? On the second lap, he said to his mother: Mom, mom, look, look, can I ride without feet? . On the third lap, he said to his mother, look, mom, my tooth has fallen out! ? 2 1. A classmate felt like farting in class, and it was loud. She came up with the idea of clapping her hands when farting to cover up the fart. Then I slapped her, and the whole class was attracted by her, and then she farted. 22. While waiting in line, a person's mobile phone fell from his pocket and the change in his pocket also fell out. That man said that his mobile phone was really smashed, and all the phone bills were dropped! 23. I picked a basket of vegetables from the country and went to the city to sell them. Passing by a park, I heard a group of men and women shouting behind me: eggplant! ? I turned and ran towards them. I didn't expect these people to take a picture and leave. Is that how people in the city play? 24. Frankly speaking, after so many years of marriage, my wife has never been red-faced with me. Because I can directly turn her face purple. 25. When watching the venom, the little girl pointed to the screen and asked her father, Ah! Dad, what's this? His father kept his eyes on the screen: plasticine? 26. Wife: If one day I was ill in bed and your watch just started, which one would you choose? Husband: I choose MacRae. I had a good time. 27. A novice wanted to stop, afraid of hitting a wall, and said to a passerby. Can you watch the parking for me? If you touch the wall, call me. ? In other words:? Okay？ Then he started and fell backwards, and the people next to him kept saying, okay, okay, okay, go on, okay, I hit it. ? 28. A man likes skydiving. He wore a silver lacquer leather coat to enhance his discrimination. As a result, he jumped off the plane and fell into a house. He stood up and found a woman crouching in the corner and asked? Where is this? ? The woman looked frightened and replied with trepidation: Earth! 29. I am a writer at the age of 3, a martial artist at the age of 4, a master of poetry and songs at the age of 5, and a master of piano, chess, calligraphy and painting at the age of 6. Someone asked me, what did you do when you were seven years old? I was 7 years old and injured for a year! 30. "I played chess with my friend just now, and he ate me very handsome." "What do you want to express?" "I am so handsome" 3 1. A toothpick was walking on the road, cursing: this damn weather. At this time, a hedgehog walked slowly past the toothpick, and the toothpick jumped two steps to catch up and shouted, Bus, stop! 32. When I was born, the old man spent a lot of money to find a master to face me, and the master said; ? This child is expensive, has the spirit of an emperor, travels by car, lives in luxury stores, waves flags and shouts, and is like a parrot! ? Time flies, time flies, and later, I became a tour guide. One day, the teacher asked the students how to solve this equation. No one answered, the teacher said, whoever solves it will leave school directly! At this moment, a student stood up and said, Sister, I beg you. 34. My husband and I met on a blind date. On a blind date, my husband told me that although he has no money now, his home will be demolished soon! I didn't know until I had a flash marriage with my husband that it was an illegal building built by my husband privately, and it was demolished immediately? 35. It is said that Xiaogang's face looks like an ass. Xiaogang didn't believe this evil and ran to the wellhead to see what it was like. Suddenly a voice came from the well: boy, if you dare to shit, you will die! 36. I don't understand the behavior of many men who try their best to hide their private money. Why can't you have a girlfriend like me? 37. The mother said to her daughter: You should be obedient. Every time you make mom angry, mom grows a white hair. ? Daughter enlighten:? Oh, no wonder grandma's hair is all white. ? I know I have a bad temper. If you can't stand it, I hope you can reflect on yourself and why others can. Seeing couples holding hands at the school gate that day, I couldn't help thinking of myself in junior high school. At that time, I also watched others holding hands. 40. I heard that I have zero IQ in front of the person I love. I won't fall in love with my math teacher, will I? Can't! 4 1. I finished with a classmate today. I really can't stand such people. He used my charging treasure to charge his charging treasure. 42. "Master, I dreamed that I was lovelorn, so sad." "Don't worry, dreams and reality are opposites, and you can't find a girlfriend." 43. Share some health knowledge today: How to avoid nausea and retching when brushing your teeth? Don't brush in front of the mirror, everything will be fine! 44.？ I have your head teacher. I won't give you money. I'll let him go at once without paying. Wait! I'll get the money right away. ? 45. For Xueba, I just want to know: What happened in your junior high school that made you fall into my school? 46. I am really lucky and grateful. I have known you for many years, and your attitude towards me has never changed. For example, I didn't have a present for my birthday last year, but I still don't have a present this year. 47. The legend of Mi Yue tells us that even brothers and sisters who have lived all their lives will face each other one day as long as they fall in love with the same man. This shows that men are really bad things! 48. The best state of love is that my boyfriend leaves a pile of money and tells me before going out every day. Flowers! You don't love me if you can't spend it all today! ? 49. Stop talking about the ideal of meeting the right person at the best age. I just want to get something for nothing at the best age, and I can surf and lie around at any time.