Question 1: Do you find it easy to absorb or adopt other people's personalities?

I will easily adopt the personality of the people around me. For example, my parents are the kind of people who are generous and will help others even if they don't want to. So I felt that I should do the same from an early age, which is right, so I don't know how to refuse others at all. In addition, the emotional center is completely blank, afraid of conflict, and I don't know how to refuse from an early age. But if I have the courage to refuse, I will regret it afterwards, and I will feel that I have gone too far and others will not help me when I am in trouble.

Later, it was more principled to meet some friends. They think that if I am free, they have an obligation to make the accounts clear and help. After being with them, I will feel that this method is better. Being a man should have principles, so I will help as soon as I can, but I can't refuse and never promise anything beyond my ability again.

I will study the personalities of people around me. Although I always consciously choose "good" personality to study, I will still be influenced by some "bad" personality subconsciously. For example, people around you always say that A is not good, so it is easy to dislike A. Only by jumping out of that circle can you find that A is good. If you think A is not good at first, and then think A is not like this, it's easy to blame yourself, and feel how you can be so arbitrary, parrot, and not tolerant at all, and then start to make up for it, which is especially good for A.

It is good to learn other people's personalities in this way. If you have a strong consciousness, you can know what personality suits you and what doesn't, and it is good to take the essence and discard the dross, but I am afraid that you will unconsciously receive some personality that doesn't suit you. And it's easy for you to leave this group of people and suddenly don't know what role you should play in the future.

The blank G Center is like a stage. We have to play different roles with different faces. Blank G center will let us learn to play the same role as others when we get along with others. But sometimes I get so involved that I feel like one of them. Without internal authority, when this group of people suddenly leave, they will be at a loss.

Question 2: Do you doubt your ability to be loved?

This is my biggest constraint in the blank G center! My hometown has a strong patriarchal atmosphere. I feel that my family loves my brother more since I was a child, and I don't think anyone will love me unconditionally. When I am trapped in the constraint of the willpower center on the sense of value, I feel more and more that people love me because I have created value, or that others will be good to me if I am good to others. If I am unfriendly, unfriendly, generous, unreasonable and unwilling to help others … then others will not be kind to me or love me.

So once you are sick and uncomfortable, you can't get the care of people around you; I feel sad when I meet something, and I can't get comfort from people around me ... I feel that they don't care about me at all, and they don't really love me at all ... If I am too sad or too many times, I will start the mode of breaking people, draw a clear line, and you will no longer be my friend _ ||

In fact, just because I don't understand my own design, I keep grabbing it. Even though everyone around me thinks that I take care of me first and always take care of me, I still feel that I don't deserve to be loved. If I can't realize that love is within us, we are self-sufficient and I am my own existence!

Environment is very important for people with blank G center. Only in the right environment will you meet the right people and opportunities, so you should choose your living environment carefully and who to make friends with. But when you meet some wrong people, it's not because they have any problems, but because they are not suitable for you! And the constraints and hardships they give you make you feel hurt, just to make you realize this "mistake", leave this environment early, go to a place that suits you, go to a school that suits you, and then meet a teacher that suits you and learn the content that suits you!

The first step to cure your pain is to wake yourself up and know yourself deeply.

The teacher said: "When you stop asking others by your own standards, you can be kind to yourself and others sincerely, and do something useful, and you will know how to really love the people around you, instead of manipulating and asking for it in your name.

People who love you don't love you because of what you do. They love you because you are you. As Huineng said, Bodhi is self-sufficient. "