A few days ago, in the Japanese learning group, a very straightforward student J shared a trouble.

Classmate J has a young colleague. In the company, they go to lunch together every day and act together. They are like sisters. However, student J really doesn’t want to be so close to that young colleague now, and he doesn’t know how to keep an appropriate distance without damaging the relationship between the two. So I'm confused about this.

Why doesn’t classmate J want to be close to his junior colleagues? Student J confided the following things.

When the company scanned the QR code to pay for the product, the young colleague took it away without scanning the QR code.

Even if you can’t finish the food in the cafeteria, you still ask for as much as possible. If others ask for less, you still call them stupid.

She likes to peek at other people playing with their phones. She even memorized a colleague’s gesture password for unlocking her phone!

When others give her advice, she likes to make up stories to ridicule them, making things out of nothing. He likes to quarrel with others and doesn't give face.

After reading classmate J’s description, I responded to her based on intuition and experience: stay away from such people and keep a distance from her! If the sudden separation will cause conflicts, then give yourself a buffer time and slowly separate.

Because through these descriptions, we can basically judge that this little colleague is not suitable for ordinary people to be friends with.

She likes to take advantage and take it without paying. This is stealing. By spying on others playing with their phones and remembering their passwords, she might one day do something unimaginable, causing irreversible harm to others and herself.

If I had been in the position of student J many years ago, I would have been like her and would not refuse. On the surface, I had to go with her, but in my heart, I was extremely reluctant and made myself entangled and troubled. However, if it were me now, I would decisively stay away from her, not be friends, and only maintain a superficial harmonious relationship.

People who are close to red will be red, and those who are close to ink will be dark. If you stay with such dishonest, take advantage, dirty hands and feet, and suspicious people, you will gradually be negatively affected, and your character will also be affected. Sliding toward negativity. And such people often find it difficult to feel grateful. Even if they are good friends, they will inevitably be taken advantage of.

1.

When I was in college, our Japanese class dormitory and English class dormitory were adjacent, so we often visited each other. However, in the first semester of my sophomore year, things kept being lost in the English class dormitory next door, and belongings such as bracelets and watches disappeared without realizing it.

Everyone felt strange and reported it to the counselor. After a series of investigations, the results were shocking: there was a thief in the dormitory!

As a result, some of the lost belongings were found in this female classmate’s cabinet! The other part has been stolen.

When everyone was sad about losing something, she also said she didn’t know and pretended to be innocent.

I haven’t seen her since the incident. Maybe got kicked out of school. Maybe he dropped out of school on his own. No matter what the reason was, she no longer had the face to face her classmates and teachers.

Some of the things lost by roommates can no longer be found, and roommates no longer fully trust each other.

What a pity that I finally got into the university, but my future was affected because of my dirty hands and feet. It also brings financial losses and psychological shadow to others.

It is said that character is greater than ability. Ability determines how high you go, and character determines how far you go. A good character is like a talisman, which will bring you noble people and help you in your future. If you have a bad character, even if you are extremely capable, you will still be a hero and be despised by others.

People with questionable character are like bombs that may explode one day, destroying their own future and affecting those close to them. There is no use regretting it until it happens. Therefore, keep an absolute distance from people with bad character!

2.

When I was a child, my family and my uncle’s family were separated by a wall and we were as close as one family. There are two boys in my uncle's family, one is older than me and the other is younger than me. They both like to play at my house, eat and sleep at my house as usual. The four children of our family played together, and the memories of childhood were full of laughter and laughter.

In rural areas, for a family with two boys, the parents have to build two houses in preparation for marrying a wife in the future. To build a house, you must first buy a foundation.

There is only one boy in my family, so my dad just needs to prepare a foundation. And my uncle’s house needs two foundations. Even if the house my parents live in now counts as one piece of foundation, my uncle's house still needs another piece.

In rural areas, in the early 1990s, a foundation cost several thousand yuan.

In order to build a foundation for my uncle’s house, my dad asked the village secretary for a piece of it, almost for free. However, this foundation is a pit and you need to buy sand to fill it.

My dad helped my uncle calculate an account: even if he bought sand to fill it, it would only cost more than a thousand yuan. A good foundation costs at least more than 3,000. This way you still save a lot of money. Moreover, this foundation is close to the main road, making it easy to access in the future.

My uncle thought it was good, so he agreed.

However, not long after, my uncle said no more. Instead, they said that my dad could get a better foundation, but instead found a trap for him.

My dad was also very angry after hearing this. I was thinking about him, but he was bitten back.

Later, my aunt began to stop interacting with my mother. Soon after, the relationship was severed. There was even a fight between the adults and children of the two families.

Later, my mother heard about the reason for the change between my uncle and my aunt: it was my mother’s and my aunt’s same friend, a woman I call aunt, who was instigating, I told my aunt how bad my parents were, so I deliberately built a pit-filled foundation for them.

My uncle and aunt believed her and began to resent my parents, so the children stopped interacting with her.

My parents meant well, but they were slandered. Since then, my mother no longer has any contact with that aunt. On the contrary, it was my aunt who was still very close to that woman.

My parents took this as a lesson and told my brother and I not to get too close to others, otherwise there would be no room to turn around when the relationship goes bad. Don't sacrifice your own interests to help others.

Because of that aunt who lied and instigated, the original close relationship between my family and my uncle’s family was broken, and the happy time of our children playing together disappeared.

My father originally asked for the foundation as a favor from the secretary, and it was hard to give it back. In addition, my parents were hurt and didn’t want to live next to my uncle’s house, so my dad bought sand and gravel to fill it and built a new house on it. A year later, our family moved to a new home. This house is the house our family lives in now.

More than ten years later, we have all grown up. When my brother got married, my uncle and aunt dragged another cousin to my house to persuade them to make peace: they wanted to use my brother's marriage as an opportunity to restore relations and reopen contacts with my family.

After much persuasion, my parents, especially my mother, agreed, but the relationship had been broken for more than ten years, so how could they continue the relationship so easily? Every time the two families meet on the road, although they say hello, they can feel the embarrassment inside.

I heard that my aunt had already ended her relationship with the "strategist" lady back then. My aunt regretted trusting her when I was young.

Every time my aunt passes by my door, she will stop and talk to my mother. If I happen to be at home with my child, she will greet the child very enthusiastically and loudly. Often my response is not as enthusiastic as hers, and she will get on her bicycle and leave in frustration.

If there hadn’t been that woman lying in the middle to sow discord, and if there hadn’t been the aunt’s suspicion, the relationship between the two families would not have been broken for more than ten years and difficult to renew! The children of our two families will not be forced to separate, and our relatives will not be like passers-by when they grow up!

People who love to lie and sow discord have no long-term friends. Because this kind of person will never be sincere to anyone. If he can say bad things about others before you, he will definitely say bad things about you in front of others. One day, his true nature will be revealed. And when you see through it, you have already been infected by his negativity, and you have to take the time to correct your three views.

After realizing that a person has a problem with his character, the wisest thing to do is to stay away from him and never get involved in his right and wrong.

3.

The Jiang Ge case was pronounced in December 2017. Perhaps the public has forgotten this murder case that caused the whole society to collectively reflect on human nature and friendship standards. The reason why Jiang Ge died was because she had Liu Xin as a "friend".

After Jiang Ge's death, Liu faced the media and Jiang Ge's mother and kept saying that she did not lock the door and she did not know what was happening outside.

The recording during the trial provided irrefutable evidence that everything she said before was a lie!

In order to protect yourself, you tell lies. It's more than that.

As the investigation progresses one after another, many details have been dug out by the public. Liu told Jiang Ge that she was pregnant, but afterwards, Liu denied her pregnancy to the media. It is difficult to distinguish between true and false.

In Liu’s Weibo, there is a record of something. Jiang Ge stayed with Liu and packed wontons for her in the middle of the night. But Liu’s complaint on Weibo was clear: He didn’t like wontons, but Jiang Ge even brought them back!

I don’t need to say more about Liu’s character. Her own words and deeds have proven it. What I want to remind you is that you don’t have to be so kind when you are surrounded by people like Liu who are lying, selfish, ungrateful, and inconsiderate!

Life is busy, time is short, and energy is limited. Doing comfortable and beautiful things is not enough, so how can we waste it on boring things like dealing with rotten people!

Even if you consider him a friend, he may not. They are all adults, raised by their parents, and have their own understanding of right and wrong. If the reminder later doesn't work, you don't have to bother anymore.

If you make careless friends, you may lose your life! Please put away your holy heart and stay away from those lying, selfish and suspicious people!