The far-sighted parents replied like this.

Two Common Wrong Answers

1. "Don't play, don't play. I don't care!

This kind of answer belongs to ignoring children's social and emotional needs. There are generally two worlds in childhood, one is the world of interaction with parents, and the other is the world of companions. Peers play as important or even more important roles as parents.

Long-term neglect of children's social needs will lead to their lack of peer recognition, which will lead to various psychological problems.

2. "Why doesn't he play with you?

This answer belongs to "adding fuel to the fire"

When a child is rejected, his brain will experience the same pain as when his body is injured. At this time, if parents still belittle him, it will not only aggravate the child's pain, but also hurt his self-confidence. In the long run, children will also be afraid of making friends.

The right solution

1. Learn to help children change their minds.

Children's world is a mirror: if I am good to you, you should be good to me.

So when rejected by others, children will feel depressed and confused. He can't understand why this man doesn't like me. What did I do wrong?

At this time, parents should not be in a hurry to reason, but should listen carefully and tell their children, "Is it hard for other friends not to play with you?" This happened to my mother when she was a child. At that time, my mother felt very uncomfortable, but now I know that he doesn't dislike me, but he is just unfamiliar.

See the child's emotions, accept him, help him change his mind, make the child realize that this is not entirely his own problem, and prevent the child from entering blind self-attack.

2. Judge whether the child is isolated or excluded.

The friendship between children is often collective: "I don't play with him, and you don't play with him."

Parents should ask whether the child is incompatible with a child or isolated by the group. You know, a lot of bullying starts with isolation.

Most children are afraid to tell their teachers and parents because they think others are isolated because they are not good enough, so the other party will be more fearless or even worse.

At this time, parents should tell their children: "No matter whether others isolate you or crowd you out, their behavior must be wrong, and mom and dad will always be on your side."

Give children enough psychological support and encourage them to be strong inside.

3. Teach children a more effective way of integration.

Some children are shy and afraid to socialize actively. At this time, parents need to help their children take a step forward.

Mom is with you. Let's ask people if they want to play with me. Let's try, shall we?

You can let your children observe what the other person is playing nearby, and then go up to them and ask them, "Cool, what is this?" ?

If other children build blocks, you can help them first; If you play ball, you can start by picking up the ball. Take the initiative to assume the role and blend in naturally.