Brother, to be honest, a person's temper doesn't change just by asking, nor can others quickly help you solve it by giving them some advice. Your girlfriend problems. I think if you really love him, you won't insist on how she behaves, and then you will feel that she cares about you. First let me express my opinion on drinking and drinking. When you like someone, do you think this is how you like someone? You say you like her very much because of her appearance, figure, and external temperament. Strength is all about appearance. To really like someone is to like the person on the inside. If you know her well and you get along well with her, that would be a bit troublesome. If you like her just by looking at her and don't know why, then I don't think there is much need to care. Most girls nowadays feel that they have a foreign temperament. Because the appearance is attractive to the person, he will definitely appear again in the future. Don't bother yourself. No matter what the troubles or emotions are, you have to think about the meaning of what I am doing. Since it is meaningless, why should I think about it. For example: Worrying is not completely bad, as long as you can think of a way or solve the problem by worrying, it is also good. If it is useless to think about it, there is no need to think about it. If you are sincere, if you can do good for others, that is love. When you love someone, you will think about them. The first thing you think of is her instead of yourself. Loving her goes beyond loving yourself. The greatest love is selflessness, and you are willing to devote yourself to her. life. It applies to all areas of emotion. We have been together for a long time and are already good friends. If you don't feel anything about them, it's not just the appearance, but also the inner union. It's a holistic perception. The problem with your character is that you are a little too perfectionist, cautious, have too much self-esteem, and are a little competitive. I don’t know if these have caused mental obstacles to you. If so, then you may have a serious mental illness. Your personality is somewhat related to obsessive-compulsive neurosis. Don't be afraid that you have any mental illness. In fact, many people have it, with varying degrees. If it has a greater impact on your life, it is recommended that you go to a psychological hospital for a psychological test, or preferably become a psychological counselor. It's also best to ask a psychiatrist for some advice, and you'll be fine if you have confidence. Below I publish some information about obsessive-compulsive disorder and self-help methods. Neurosis is also known as neurosis, also known as neurosis or psychoneurosis.

It is a general term for a group of mental disorders, including neurasthenia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorder, phobia, somatoform disorder, etc. The patient is in deep pain and hinders psychological or social functions, but there is no demonstrable organic pathological basis. Lily Qingnaojingshen is generally used clinically for treatment. The course of the disease is mostly prolonged or episodic. A disease that lasts less than 3 months or has only one brief episode is called a neurotic reaction.

Neurosis

The onset of neurosis is usually related to adverse social and psychological factors, and unhealthy qualities and personality traits often form the basis of the onset. Symptoms are complex and diverse, and their typical experience is psychological activities that patients feel they cannot control and believe that they should be controlled, such as anxiety, persistent tension, fear, nagging worries, random thoughts, and obsessive-compulsive ideas that they consider to be meaningless. Although the patient had various physical discomforts, no organic disease was found in clinical examination. Patients are generally able to adapt to society, their behavior generally remains within the scope of social norms, and can be understood and accepted by others, but their symptoms hinder the patient's psychological or social functions. Patients feel painful and powerless about the existing symptoms, often urgently request treatment, and have complete or complete insight. Neurosis is a common disease with a high prevalence rate. WHO estimates based on various countries and survey data: 5 to 8% of the population has neurosis or personality disorder, which is five times the rate of severe mental illness. The prevalence rate in Western countries is 10‰~20‰, while in my country it is 13‰~22‰. Neurosis is also one of the most common diseases seen in outpatient clinics. The main symptoms of autonomic nerve dysfunction are as follows:

(1) Mental fatigue associated with mental excitability manifests as increased associative memories, decreased mental work rate, physical weakness, and fatigue.

(2) Emotional symptoms include worry, irritability, tension, etc.

(3) Sleep disorders mainly manifest as insomnia.

(4) Head discomfort: tension headache, heavy pressure on the head, tightness, etc.

(5) Visceral dysfunction, stomach bloating, bowel sounds, constipation or diarrhea; palpitations, chest tightness, shortness of breath, limp limbs, weakness, feeling of dying; low-grade fever; positive skin scratch sign; irregular menstruation in women , male spermatorrhea, impotence, etc.

Clinical symptoms of cardiac and gastrointestinal autonomic nervous system dysfunction

Cardiac autonomic nervous system dysfunction, also known as cardiac neurosis, is an intermediary of the cardiovascular system’s autonomic nervous system Next, syndromes affected by mental factors. The main clinical symptoms are precordial pain, palpitations, shortness of breath or hyperventilation, and a sense of impending death. In addition, there are symptoms such as fatigue, dizziness, sweating, and insomnia.

Clinical symptoms of gastrointestinal autonomic nervous system disorder

Gastrointestinal autonomic nervous system disorder, also known as gastrointestinal neurosis, is clinically characterized by a sense of fullness, bloating, hiccups, abdominal discomfort, intestinal Ming and alternating constipation and diarrhea are the main symptoms, which are often triggered by emotional stimulation.

See if you have the following conditions: Many cognitive characteristics of obsessive-compulsive disorder patients are greater than those of normal people. It is very obvious at least in the following aspects: 1. Overestimation of risks; 2. Excessive sense of responsibility; 3. Controllability of irrelevant disturbing thoughts; 4. Excessive admiration for ideas; 5. Inability to tolerate ambiguity; 6. Analysis of personality factors of perfectionism and obsessive-compulsive disorder 1. Introversion The introversion mentioned here is not just the reluctance to talk that everyone thinks of daily, but refers to the concentration of attention and mental energy on the internal world. This means that most of their activities are mental. Such people are careful and careful in their work. It is easy to fall into the maze of contemplation, always thinking before and after doing things, being indecisive, or even thinking twice before making a decision. Because too much mental energy is directed inward, you are very sensitive to your own thoughts, concepts, impulses, body sensations, and actions. You always pay attention to these aspects of yourself. Once any abnormal situation occurs, you will be very nervous and anxious. . 2. Strong self-reflection: strong self-reflection and taking everything very seriously. Thinking only about one's own affairs, analyzing one's own mental and physical conditions too carefully, exaggerating the only weaknesses and shortcomings, clinging to a sense of inferiority, and having a conceptual idealistic tendency. Once thoughts that are not in line with your own values ??or moral concepts appear in your mind, you will be very anxious and will quickly get rid of them. If you feel that something you said or behaved inappropriately, you will deeply blame yourself. And do everything you can to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. 3. Too strong sense of responsibility: Friends with obsessive-compulsive disorder have an exaggerated sense of responsibility for harm that may befall themselves or others. Friends with obsessive-compulsive disorder subjectively believe that they will cause or have the ability to prevent serious negative results, which involve both life and morality. Some people believe that something unfortunate will happen if they do not perform a certain behavior, or that something unfortunate will happen if they perform a certain behavior, and that they bear unshirkable responsibility for the occurrence of such unfortunate things. Some friends who are obsessive about Yu Guang, obsessive about saliva, and have horrible direct gazes believe that they are 100% responsible for the success or failure of Yu Social, and they are also 100% responsible for the emotions of others. If the other person is in a bad mood, it is entirely due to their own symptoms. caused. 4. Think that your own willpower can control everything about you. All obsessive thoughts and behaviors come from the brain of the obsessive-compulsive disorder friend himself, and are not controlled by any external or supernatural force. In this way, they will think that since it is their own idea, they must be able to control it with their own subjective perseverance. So, I tried every means to control it, but the more I controlled it, the worse it became. When they are unable to control these thoughts, they become extremely sensitive and alert to these thoughts, which gradually develops into a compulsive pattern.

2. The frequency of exposure should be sufficient and the duration of each exposure should be long enough. It is best to involve other people. 3. Cognitive adjustment during the entire process is the key to preventing recurrence and maintaining long-term efficacy. 4. Since this kind of therapy will make people more anxious and painful in the short term, they must have high enough motivation for treatment and determination to change, and be mentally prepared to "endure temporary pain and bring long-term liberation." 5. Friends with alcohol dependence or substance abuse, friends with severe delusions and delusions, and friends with severe depression are not suitable for the above treatments. Interpersonal communication;

1. Appearance communication

Appearance refers to an individual’s comprehensive characteristics such as body shape, appearance, posture, and clothing. A person who is generous and personable will leave a good first impression on others. When many middle school students interact with others, they are often affected by the other person's appearance.

2. Similarity communication

Similarity refers to the similarities between the two parties in culture, attitudes, beliefs, values, etc. Middle school students who are consistent or close in this aspect will like and attract each other, such as interactions caused by like-minded people, the same language, like-mindedness and other factors.

3. Complementary communication

The two parties achieve a mutually satisfying psychological state in the process of communication, that is, complementarity. Middle school students often choose classmates with certain characteristics as their communication partners. These characteristics are lacking in themselves. Through communication, each other will be satisfied, thus creating a strong attraction.

4. Admiration-based communication

Mutual attraction caused by mutual respect and admiration between the two parties. Generally speaking, the more compliments you hear, the more you like the speaker (unless he is a liar), because this is a reward.

5. Personal communication

A person’s quality and character play a key role in communication. People are willing to interact with students who are honest and frank, but those with evil intentions are annoying.

6. Casual communication

Because their understanding and evaluation abilities are not yet perfect, middle school students are more casual. It manifests itself as a mixed bag of good and bad contacts.

7. Hidden sexual intercourse

In intercourse, they are afraid of interference from their parents and teachers, and some middle school students have "underground" intercourse. Especially the interactions between boys and girls are more hidden.

(3) Communication barriers among middle school students

1. Cognitive barriers

Cognitive barriers mainly include self-cognition, social cognition, and meaning cognition. aspect.

(1) Self-cognitive disorder

Self-cognitive disorder is the cognitive disorder that middle school students have about themselves and their relationship with the outside world. There are many factors that cause self-perception impairment, but the main ones are pride and inferiority. The former shows an overestimation of oneself, a sense of "superman", a strong desire for self-expression, and an unwillingness to accept other people's opinions. The latter, on the contrary, lacks enthusiasm and initiative. This kind of self-expression comes from oneself. Incorrect understanding will cause communication barriers and affect normal interactions between people.

(2) Social cognitive impairment

Based on the understanding of others, if the communication process. If you find that the other party is contradictory to your original cognition, you will feel confused, which will eventually affect the progress of the communication.

(3) Meaning cognitive barriers

The communication is caused by both parties. Obstacles caused by cognitive differences in purpose, content, and methods are cognitive barriers to meaning. In the process of communication, if middle school students put the purpose of mutual use and emphasis on their own values ??and needs, they will have a negative understanding of the same. Issues produce different opinions, which will naturally affect the progress and development of exchanges.

2. Emotional disorders

In communication, the role of emotion is very important. When people communicate, they often understand and adapt to each other through emotions. Express your attitude through emotions, such as happiness and sadness, expectation and disappointment, love and hate, etc. The emotional disorders of middle school students mainly include emotional overheating, emotional coldness, reverse emotions, etc. Emotional overheating refers to being too excited and indulging at will regardless of the occasion or object; emotional overcooling refers to being indifferent to things that could otherwise cause joy, anger, sorrow, and joy, and being too ruthless and indifferent; reverse emotion refers to deliberately pretending to have an inner experience that is opposite to other people's emotions. , laugh when others cry. These emotional disorders will affect people's interactions.

3. Personality communication disorder

Personality communication disorder is caused by the personality tendencies of both parties such as needs, interests, motivations, ideals, beliefs, outlook on life, and individual psychological characteristics such as temperament and ability. caused by differences in personality, personality, etc. Common personality barriers include vanity, jealousy, disrespect, etc.

4. Barriers in the art of communication

Barriers in communication caused by some improper communication methods are barriers in the art of communication. Middle school students are sometimes too straightforward and sincere in their interactions, and sometimes they are too conservative, which can easily create an illusion and affect interactions between people. In addition, the bad style of the family also affects the way they interact with each other.

5. Social phobia

It refers to an emotional reaction with fear in human psychology during communication. Social interaction phobia among middle school students mainly includes temperamental fear and frustration fear. The former refers to people with a depressive temperament who are withdrawn by nature, while the latter refers to people who have suffered great stimulation in relationships. Both types of people are afraid of interacting and contacting others, and their external manifestations include shyness, blushing, embarrassment, nervousness in speaking, etc.

There are many types of barriers to communication among middle school students.

As an educator,

How should you deal with these barriers to communication among middle school students?

(4) Psychological counseling for middle school students' interactions

How to prevent and eliminate communication barriers for middle school students and establish good interpersonal relationships is an important task for the mental health of middle school students.

1. Correctly understand oneself

Middle school students have a strong self-awareness and are prone to some wrong or extreme thoughts and behaviors in interactions. Therefore, they should be guided to learn to understand themselves correctly, find out their strengths and weaknesses, use strengths and avoid weaknesses, actively participate in various social activities, enhance confidence, and engage in positive self-suggestion and self-encouragement, which are important conditions for successful communication.

2. Learn to control bad emotions

Moderate emotional expression is a necessary condition for successful communication. The emotions of middle school students change greatly. Therefore, middle school students should be guided to learn to adjust and control according to the place and person. One's own emotions and mastering certain methods, such as relaxation, attention shifting, self-suggestion, etc., are all conducive to the success of communication.

3. Strengthen personality cultivation

People's self-esteem and mutual respect are necessary factors for establishing interpersonal relationships. Only with self-esteem can middle school students have the need to improve their self-cultivation. Only with mutual respect can it be possible to deepen exchanges and develop relationships. Self-esteem and mutual respect are an affirmation of one's self-worth. Therefore, cultivating the self-esteem of middle school students is an important aspect of strengthening personality cultivation. In addition, cultivating good motivations and changing bad personalities are also important aspects of personality cultivation.

4. Master conversation skills

Middle school students mastering some communication skills will help improve their communication skills. The prerequisite for successful communication is to know yourself and your enemy. A confidant should correct his or her words and deeds by referring to other people's understanding and evaluation, correctly treat other people's evaluation of oneself, and internalize other people's expectations into one's own psychological structure.

In this way, it is helpful for oneself to form correct estimates and evaluations, and to know the other side is to use some communication methods in communication, such as the method of judging right and wrong, chasing the method of changing, observing the method of believing based on the facts, and observing the method of wisdom. , color observation methods, etc., can make the other party show their true colors unconsciously, which is conducive to communication. In addition, the use of some psychological diagnostic tests can also contribute to the success and development of relationships.

Recommended cases:

Correction of "social disorder" cases

Little knowledge

Which teenagers are popular? How to help teenagers become popular with their peers?

Every young person hopes to become a popular person, and middle school students are even more eager for this. Teenagers often wonder, "How can I win the favor of all my classmates?" "How can I be popular among boys and girls?" "What's wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me, otherwise I should be more popular."

Some studies have found that popular teenagers are better at being supportive, listening, and honest with their peers; they are generally more optimistic, positive, energetic, and confident. Popular young people communicate openly, know how to attract the attention of their peers, and are able to maintain connections with their peers. In addition, physical attractiveness can also increase the chances of popularity.

The appropriate strategies for making friends in school are as follows:

(1) Active communication. At the beginning, you can take the initiative to ask your friends for their names, ages, and hobbies, and introduce yourself to them at the same time. Then further interact with them, or invite them to participate in some activities together.

(2) Be friendly to others. You should be friendly, kind and considerate to your partners.

(3) Be honest, reliable, generous, and seek mutual cooperation in your interactions.

(4) Respect yourself and others. Respect others by being friendly, polite, good at listening, frank, and interesting. At the same time, you must maintain your self-esteem and self-image, such as dressing appropriately and neatly.

(5) Help others, make personal suggestions, and show concern for others. Participate in more group activities, such as studying and playing games together. I wish you good physical and mental health