Many people often have this misunderstanding when making friends: There is no need to pay attention to politeness between good friends. They believe that good friends know each other well, trust each other closely, are like brothers and sisters, and enjoy all the blessings without dividing their property. Being polite and polite is too restrictive and too external. In fact, they do not realize that the existence of a friendship is based on mutual respect and does not tolerate any imposition, interference or control. If they have similar temperaments and tastes, they will be in harmony with each other, and they will be friends; if they are opposite, they will be separated and separated. No matter how familiar and intimate friends are, they cannot be too casual or disrespectful. In this case, the tacit understanding and balance will be broken, and the friendly relationship will no longer exist. Therefore, you must be polite and courteous to good friends. You may not emphasize your own "face", but you must not deny face to your friends.
Harmonious and profound communication requires abundant emotions as a bond. This kind of emotion is not artificial, but a sincere and natural expression. Of course, when we say that good friends should be polite, we do not mean that unnecessary and cumbersome etiquette should be adhered to in all situations, but that friends respect each other and cannot cross each other's restricted areas.
Everyone hopes to have their own little world. If friends are too casual, it is easy to invade this restricted area, causing estrangement and conflict. For example, without asking whether the other party is free or willing, arbitrarily controlling or occupying the other party's precious time that has been arranged, and talking endlessly as soon as they sit down, completely unaware of the other party's difficulties and inconveniences; insisting on asking the other party's deepest feelings. Those who are willing to reveal secrets and blindly inquire into each other's secret private affairs; forget the ancient saying that "people are related to wealth but not related to each other", ignore the fact that friends are an emotional one rather than an economic one, spend money without remembering you and me, and use things without distinguishing each other. Disrespecting friends, violating and interfering with others is a bad phenomenon. Occasional negligence can be understood, tolerated, and tolerated. If things go on like this, gaps will inevitably occur, leading to alienation or boredom among friends, and the weakening and deterioration of friendships. Therefore, good friends should also pay attention to politeness and abide by the way of making friends.
Being rude and rude to your friends is the easiest way to hurt your friends. The following behaviors should be carefully restrained:
(1) Excessive expression and careless speech may damage your friend’s self-esteem. Bruise
Perhaps you and your friends always talk about everything and are very speculative. Perhaps your talents, appearance, family, future, etc. are enviable and are head and shoulders above your friends. This makes you show off your talents and express yourself regardless of the occasion, especially when you are with friends. A sense of superiority, which will make your friend feel that you are speaking condescendingly to him, deliberately showing off and promoting yourself, which will dampen his self-esteem and make him want to stay away from you. Therefore, when interacting with friends, you must control your emotions, maintain a rational balance, be humble, put yourself on an equal footing with others, and always think of the other person's existence.
(2) Do not distinguish between each other, violate the contract, and make your friends feel wary of you
The thing that friends don’t pay attention to most is the careless handling of their friends’ belongings. They often think that " "Friends do not distinguish between each other." If you take your friends' things without permission and do not cherish them, sometimes you are late or don't return them, you are out of favor once or twice, and you are embarrassed to criticize them. Over time, your friends will think you are too much. Being presumptuous creates a defensive mentality. In fact, in addition to friendship, there is also a subtle contractual relationship between friends. In terms of physical things, you and your friends can borrow things at any time, which is beyond the relationship between ordinary people. However, you and your friends should first have a concept of each other's things: "This is a friend's thing, so you should cherish it even more." "Brothers" "Settling accounts clearly." Pay attention to courtesy and treat friends' things as important as cherishing friendship.
(3) Being too casual and informal will make your friends feel contempt and disgust towards you
Between friends, your conversation and actions should be straightforward, generous, cordial, and unpretentious in order to show your integrity. Natural color. But being too casual, not paying attention to self-control, and being informal will make people think you are rude and vulgar. Maybe when you get along with ordinary people, you will be rational and restrained, but when you get together with friends, you forget about it.
You may point fingers, make irresponsible remarks, interrupt your friends when they are talking, ridicule, or look at things absent-mindedly. Maybe this is your natural expression, but your friends will think that you are undignified, without grace and self-cultivation, and they will naturally treat you badly. It creates a feeling of disgust and contempt, which changes the original impression of you. Therefore, in front of friends, you should not only be natural but not lose your self-respect, be enthusiastic but not lose your composure, but also be measured and restrained.
(4) Going back on your word at will, not keeping your promises, making your friends feel untrustworthy to you
You may not value certain agreements between friends so much, and you are always shy about their activities. It was late, and I readily agreed to my friend's request at the time, but then changed my mind midway. Maybe you really had something to do that delayed a scheduled gathering or failed to complete a task that a friend asked you to do. Maybe you explained it lightly afterwards, thinking that friends should be understanding and tolerant of each other, and that trivial matters are not worth mentioning. Little did you know that your friends would be upset because you missed the appointment and leave in disappointment. Although they won't accuse you face to face, they will definitely think that you are playing with your friend's friendship, that you are acting on the occasion, and that you are capricious and untrustworthy. Therefore, you must treat promises or entrustments made by friends with caution, keep your promises on time, and never break your promises.
(5) You come unprepared and forcefully ask for things, making your friends think you are too unreasonable and domineering
When you need someone for something, of course your friends are the first choice, but If you don't notify your friend in advance, show up at last minute to make a request, or force your friend to attend an event with you regardless of his or her wishes, this will make your friend feel in a dilemma. It would be even more embarrassing if he has already arranged activities that cannot be changed. If you agree to what you ask for, it will disrupt your plans; if you refuse, you will feel sorry for yourself. Maybe he is happy to do it on the surface, but he is a little unhappy in his heart, thinking that you are too domineering and unreasonable. Therefore, when you ask for something from a friend, you must tell it in advance, speak in a discussion tone, and try to make the request under the premise that the friend has nothing to do or is willing to do so. At the same time, remember: don’t force what others don’t want you to do, and don’t ask for what you don’t want others to do. If you want, don't do it to others.
(6) Ignorance of current affairs and slow response will make your friends dislike you
When you visit a friend’s house, if you meet him studying or receiving When you are a guest, you may be meeting your lover, or preparing to go out, etc. You may rely on your close friends, regardless of the time or occasion, or look at your friend's face, and sit there for a long time, talking and overestimating the guest, even though the other person is already on pins and needles and extremely impatient. In this way, your friends will definitely think that you are too uneducated, ignorant of current affairs, and unreasonable, and they will try their best to avoid you in the future, fearing that you will disturb their private life again. Therefore, whenever you encounter this situation, you must react quickly, say a few words and then say goodbye. Cherishing your friends' time and respecting their private lives is as valuable as cherishing friendship.
(7) Using harsh words and looking for fun, making your friends suddenly feel that you are hateful and hateful
Sometimes you use it in public to show off your eloquence or to flatter others. In order to show "intimacy" with friends, they use harsh words indiscriminately, ridicule friends or others to their heart's content, make fools of themselves to make people laugh, and gain temporary pleasure, but they don't realize that it will seriously hurt their friendship and make their friends feel humiliated. I think you have become so hateful and hateful, and I regret having made friends with you by mistake. Maybe you still don't take it seriously and say why should you take it seriously when your friend's friend is joking? However, you don't know that you have hurt your friend's feelings first. Therefore, when friends get along, especially in front of others, they should treat each other kindly, respect each other, and never make jokes or hurt others with bad words.
(8) Being too stingy and fussy makes your friends think you are a stingy person
When you choose friends, you may think that friendship is more important than anything else, so why worry about financial gains and losses? , money cannot make friendship strong. This kind of thinking makes you seem too constrained when getting along with friends, and you don't pay a cent for everything; or you worry about gains and losses, lest you suffer a loss. Accepting gifts from your friends without giving them a penny yourself will make your friends think that you value your money as much as your life and that you are a stingy person. Therefore, in friendship with friends, being too poor will appear stingy, while being generous will appear generous, which will make the friendship strong.
(9) Make friends in general and exaggerate, making your friends think you are frivolous
You may be driven by vanity, or you may be eager to make friends, thinking that the more friends you make, the more likely you are to make friends. The greater your ability, the better your popularity. Often, you will judge yourself indiscriminately and suffer from "good friendship syndrome". At this time, your friends are already sneering slightly, thinking that you are a frivolous person who is in a hurry and cannot get along with you sincerely. You will eventually lose your true friends. Therefore, when making friends, you should treat each other sincerely and have a single-minded relationship. You must not think that extensive friendship will make you prominent.
(10) Doing things your own way and not listening to others will make your friends feel that you are an inactive and meddlesome person.
As friends, we should help each other through thick and thin, and we should seriously consider good intentions and adopt them appropriately. Maybe you ignore this and insist on going your own way whenever something happens, insisting on your own opinion, ignoring the opinions of your friends, and still going your own way. As a result, you suffer a loss and your friends suffer. This will definitely make your friends feel disappointed, thinking that you are too arbitrary and do not take your friends seriously, that you are an inactive and meddlesome person, and they will gradually alienate you in the future. Therefore, when making decisions, you should listen more to and respect your friends' opinions, understand their good intentions, and even if your opinions are difficult to adopt, you should state them clearly to make others feel that you respect them.