Confucius said, "Those who are loyal and good can't stop, not bring disgrace to oneself." It means that if you find the other person is wrong, you should pay attention to trying to persuade him. If the other person doesn't accept it, you shut up. Otherwise, you will bring shame on yourself.
Man is an animal of his own mind.
Difficulties in getting along with people, no matter how strange in form, are often reflected in the difficulty in unifying views.
Friends may be more likely to disagree, but they are more likely to advise each other out of the obligation of friends. Because even if you are completely right and your friend is completely wrong, your friend will not listen or follow the mistake if you do your duty of persuasion, which will cause serious consequences and it is difficult to "hurt" yourself.
Where's the family? Different opinions, giving opinions, can't we stop here? At this point, it is not easy to stop. Because if you obviously find that your family is wrong, and this mistake will bring foreseeable adverse consequences, and such consequences will bring trouble to yourself, then the advice will not be accepted, and it will be difficult to remain calm.
For example, family, it is not easy for father and son to get along.
Jia Zheng hoped that Baoyu would study serious books, take part in the imperial examination and gain fame in the future, but Baoyu preferred indecent leisure books and blindly ate, drank and played, not doing serious business. In the face of such a son, why not ask Jia Zheng for some advice? Jia Zheng certainly can't do it. Because Ren Baoyu is "immoral", there will be chaos in the future and it is inevitable to "curse" himself. Just like Xue Pan's "disaster", didn't it hurt Aunt Xue and Xue Baochai?
For example, in a family, it is not easy for couples to get along. If the husband wants to do this and the wife wants to do that, how good would it be if they don't recognize each other and don't buy each other? It's not hard to give some advice, but it's hard to stop. Because the interests of husband and wife are the same, the wrong consequences of the other party will definitely "hurt" the other party.
If the husband and wife disagree, they can still divorce and take care of each other. If the father and son disagree, it is good that the son can stand on his own feet. If he can't stand on his own feet, it is really not easy to take care of each other.
This is that it is much easier for friends to get along well. This is your responsibility, that is my responsibility, and the boundaries are clear; It is not easy for family members to live in harmony. Which is your responsibility and which is mine? The boundaries are blurred and difficult to distinguish.
Is there a more feasible way to get along with people than Confucius said? It seems that there is really no!
Don't ask others, even family members, for your "rights".
You can use your "right" to persuade others, and you should be mentally prepared. Advice will not be effective most of the time, but you should do your duty of advice. Otherwise, after making a big mistake, the other party will turn around and say, "Why don't you persuade me?"
It is difficult to get along with people.
Smart people will turn to the pursuit of getting along with themselves, and everything is for themselves! Get along well with yourself and be free and easy with your family and friends. "It's going to rain, your mother is getting married", whatever!