“Leftover men and leftover women” are common among the generation of only children born in the 1980s in big cities. The views on marriage and love shown by the male and female guests on dating shows are not Chinese-style, but only represent the views on marriage and love of the post-80s generation. . What is the view of marriage and love among those born in the 1980s? Why did they form such a view on marriage and love?

1. The normalization of "cohabitation"

"As for the phenomenon of cohabitation, it was absolutely impossible for people in the 1960s. People born in the 1970s did it secretly, while people born in the 1980s did it openly. Now, most people born in the 1980s take a non-interfering attitude toward male and female students who have already lived together in school, and they also respect personal privacy, which shows that this generation has an open attitude towards sexual behavior.

People born in the 1980s believe that living together can make two young people born in the 1980s fall in love with each other more deeply. Under such a premise, they finally went to the marriage hall. Because of the mutual understanding of unmarried cohabitation, the future marriage life is more secure. There is no need to experience emotional crisis after marriage, and there is no need to go through the painful and itchy running-in period.

Expert interpretation: Maybe you want to marry him, but I want to tell the post-80s generation that living together will make you go in the opposite direction on the road to marriage. For example, you will lose attraction to the other person, no freshness, and only The taste of firewood, rice, oil and salt and the boring body are left. The final result of cohabitation can only be that a woman loses more than she gains.

The reasons for the formation of the post-80s concept of marriage and love:

Most of the generation born after the 80s are single children who grew up in the doting of their parents. They lack responsibility and tolerance. The post-80s generation has lived in a 421 family structure consisting of four elderly people, two parents, and one child for a long time. Therefore, the relationship and love of an only child will become the top priority of the entire family and even the family. They bear great pressure and attention in marriage and love. Compared with those born in the 60s and 70s, the number of people has doubled and they have an urgent need to make friends. Opening up social circles through blind dates is a widely accepted way.

On the other hand, those born in the 1980s are the first generation of only children, and they are under more severe pressure in work and life. They have faced a brutal competitive environment since the high school entrance examination, and they have become a low-income family when they first started working. Money-oriented social values ??seriously influence the judgment of self-worth. Emotionally, they have been lonely since childhood and are accustomed to a self-centered way of thinking. It is difficult for them to have the opportunity to think from other people's perspective. You have the courage to say "I want it" loudly, but in fact you are in a trance state. You don't know whether what you want is suitable for you, and you are not sure whether what you want also needs you. Although she always appears to be very confident, the reality is that she is very guilty, and when talking about marriage, she can't help but have a game attitude. They are the most vulnerable and insecure group of people in society.

2. Fast-food marriage

In recent years, words such as "flash marriage", "flash divorce", "trial marriage", "trial divorce" and so on have flooded the entire Internet. This kind of fast-food style marriage is a typical representative of the post-80s generation’s view on marriage. Do you still remember Qian Zhongshu’s classic saying? ---"Marriage is a besieged city. People inside want to get out, and people outside want to get in!" Since the generation born in the 1980s has not experienced too many emotional experiences, two people just because they "see each other right" and "feel good" "A hasty flash marriage, in the eyes of outsiders, seems to be love at first sight" and "a special fate", but in fact it is very blind and careless when it comes to things like feelings, which often leads to the failure of many marriages.

Expert interpretation: Marriage is not a trivial matter, nor is it trivial. It needs to be treated with caution. The younger generation must cherish marriage and family, give each other trust and understanding, and be tolerant and tolerant to each other. A happy family should come from. A deep understanding of simple life, rather than acting hastily

3. Falling in love = negotiating conditions

In terms of marriage and love, many media have criticized people born in the 1980s for their moral deficiencies. Fan, desireism and materialism are rampant. According to surveys, the vast majority of people born in the 1980s have an overly rational attitude towards relationships. Money has taken an increasingly important role in today's view of marriage, and financial foundation has become an important factor for both parties to consider. While pursuing emotions in marriage and love, material factors such as money become important conditions and even hardware.

Expert interpretation: Viewing reality in mate selection is not inconsistent with the pursuit of sincere love, but marriage and love should be based on emotion as the first choice, rather than being influenced by things other than emotions such as cars, houses, tickets, seats, etc. , affecting the correct judgment and choices of both parties in marriage and love.