You can't live without friends in your life. Life without friends is often lonely and boring. Friends are actually a choice in life. What kind of friends you choose often indicates what kind of outlook on life you choose. As the saying goes, "Friendship between gentlemen is as light as water." Friendships between friends should be based on righteousness, sincerity, and tolerance. There are many things that need to be warned and tabooed. Here are some important ones to analyze:

Keep your edge sharp. When interacting with friends, you must be modest and prudent, and do not show off your sharpness and show off everywhere. This is a precept in communication that both Confucianism and Taoism pay attention to. Laozi said: "The sage knows himself but does not see himself; he loves himself but does not think himself noble." The sage has self-knowledge but does not express himself; he loves himself and respects himself but does not think he is noble. "The Book of Rites" says: "A good man's virtues are as deep as if they were hidden, and a gentleman's virtues are as if they were nothing." Lu Kun also said that "it is taboo to be full of qi, and taboo to show off your talents when you are full of heart." He regarded being full of qi and showing off your talents as a major taboo in dealing with others. The ancients were opposed to showing off one's knowledge and talents for two main reasons: one was to be wise and protect one's self, and the other was to teach people to be modest and prudent. In complex social life, people with good moral character are often susceptible to suspicion and criticism from people with fame and wealth; people with outstanding talent and knowledge are easily jealous and attacked by mediocre people. It is an ancient saying that everyone should remember. In modern society, the social psychology of jealousy of talents and abilities still exists, and it is entirely possible to be criticized and blamed by others, so we must pay special attention to the attitude and way of making friends with others. "A wise person will not be wise to himself, a fool will not be foolish to himself." The smartest people do not think they are smart, and the stupidest people do not think they are stupid. People who show off themselves are often shallow, naive, blind and complacent people. Those who show off their knowledge may not be truly knowledgeable, and those who show off their talents may not be truly talented. To have superhuman intelligence without showing off, to have outstanding achievements without being complacent, this is the noble state of self-cultivation.

Avoid being in favor of others. Following the crowd has been a social epidemic since ancient times, but it has always been looked down upon by upright people. First of all, those who follow the crowd are despicable. They have no sense of principle, shame, or right and wrong. As long as they can gain personal interests such as fame and wealth, they will do anything to flatter and flatter the rich and powerful. They adapt to the wind, and if the situation changes, they will scatter and seek refuge with new masters. Such people cannot treat others sincerely and are corrosive agents that corrupt interpersonal relationships. Secondly, those who tend to be in favor of others will inevitably lead to humiliation and trouble. Relying on the power of others, you may be proud and prosperous for a while, but this kind of fame and wealth based on dependence is like a fly attached to a tree or a pine tree. Ridiculous; it is impossible to enjoy the honor and joy of success like those who are self-respecting and self-reliant. Moreover, changes in human affairs and vicissitudes of life are inevitable. Once the backer falls, those who follow the trend will be ruined. Therefore, when interacting with friends, we must respect ourselves, treat others equally, and "do not flatter others when making friends, and do not disrespect others when making friends." In life, you should be wary of those who follow others and do not treat them as your true friends. This kind of people will surround you when you are good, respect you and flatter you; when you are unlucky, they will turn their backs on you and leave you. , this kind of person "is attached when hungry, inflated when full, weak when hot, and abandoned when cold." What they flatter is not you, but your status, money and power. If you know this well, you will not be sad because of the harshness of the world, nor will you mistake their pretense for the truth and be deceived.

Don’t indulge in sex. Indulging in sex means indulging one's feelings without restraint. Feelings of joy, anger, sorrow, and joy are human nature, and they are also an important force that drives people to work and create. But emotions must be restrained by reason. If you lose your reason and act emotionally, you will cause a lot of trouble. When a person is angry, ecstatic, or impatient, he will easily lose his mind and cannot analyze and judge people and things calmly. This is what the ancients said: "Excitement leads to loss, anger leads to ignorance." Therefore, we must restrain our emotions. Emotions, maintain a calm and peaceful state of mind, so that you can make friends and deal with things calmly and reasonably. "Don't talk too much when you are happy, and don't make things easy when you are happy." Because people are excited and impulsive at this time, it is easy to say some wrong things and make some mistakes that they shouldn't make. Therefore, restraint when you are proud is a virtue. To "satisfaction and displeasure". In addition, when you are angry and agitated, you must control your emotions. Water can flow against the current, fire can stir up, and people can act in a chaotic manner. Confucius said: "Small impatience will mess up big plans." If you cannot restrain your patience in small things, it will delay big things. Therefore, "The Art of War" says, "The master must not be angry and raise an army, and the general must not be angry and lead to war."

Don’t blame others for your fault. Many grievances and grievances in the world are related to merits and demerits. After you succeed in your work or career, who gets the credit? After work or career fails, who will bear the responsibility? How to deal with this problem reflects personal cultivation and morality and causes changes in interpersonal relationships. "It is a small matter to blame someone for their crimes and take away their merits; it is a matter of everyone to cover up their crimes and praise their merits; it is a gentleman's matter to give credit to the beautiful; it is a matter of great virtue to share the blame and eliminate the faults." (Jin Lansheng's "Lianbi" by Jin Lansheng), Jin proposed several different attitudes towards merit and fault, reflecting several different personalities: people with bad moral character shirk blame and compete for credit; ordinary people cover up their sins and boast about their achievements; moral people are humble and give up their reputation. It is the most ethical thing to give credit to others; take the initiative to share resentment and share the responsibility for mistakes with others. Taking blame and taking credit is a kind of behavior that benefits oneself at the expense of others. People who engage in this kind of behavior will definitely leave an ugly reputation and be despised by the world. It should also be taboo among friends. "Zeng Guang Xian Wen" says: "Everything that is true will lack one thing; if there is a shortcoming to protect a shortcoming, another shortcoming will be added." This is a simple and real truth. On the issue of merits and demerits, we should adopt an attitude of letting beauty take credit and share blame. Give up your reputation and credit to others, and have the courage to take responsibility for mistakes. Such people will naturally gain the trust of others and be willing to cooperate with them.

In short, the most important way to make friends is to be heart-to-heart. As long as you correctly understand the connotation of making friends, choose friends based on righteousness, pay attention to taboos, grasp the common sense, and carefully water it with a heart of peace, honesty, understanding, happiness, cherishment, and trust, you will build a relationship with your friends that is as clear and transparent as water. Only in this way can the flower of friendship bloom all year round and never wither.