Teacher Du, after reading your article, I found it very pertinent. I hope to bid farewell to the leftover women as soon as possible under the guidance of everyone. (Comment: Hello! Thank you for your approval of my article. ) I met my current boyfriend on Jiayuan. When we first met, he liked me very much and said that he wanted to be with me and be boyfriend and girlfriend. Later, when we met for the second time and the third time, the relationship was confirmed, and we also had a close relationship. (Comment: It's another type of feeling. I can't help it This is popular these days. It's definitely not slow. He is 35 years old, seven years older than me. He is a securities analyst, and his work is very busy, but he still takes time to see me. (Comment: Don't forget that this 35-year-old man is still single? What is the reason? Good conditions in all aspects, or single? No matter how busy you are, you still have time to be intimate. Once, a leader's secretary told my visitor that writing those reports all day was really a collapse, but the thought of her sexiness (lewdness) made me full of strength. Love is stronger than anything. Later, I also told my parents about him, and they objected on the grounds that there was a big age gap between me and him, and I didn't have a house, so my job was just so-so in their eyes. (Comment: Fortunately, such a person has no house or car, which is a bit reliable. But the age gap seems a bit big. ) After he knew it, he was a little depressed and told me something he didn't know. He had a marriage history when he was in his twenties. The reason for his divorce is that he is out of character. He can't tolerate his ex-wife being punished for not doing housework and refusing to have sex when quarreling. (Comment: Everyone has secrets, but does the other person want to tell you? What is the purpose of telling? As expected, 35 years old and single? No car, no house, short marriage history? How many people dare to write their marriage history online? Just like how many people dare to write that they are not virgins? It looks beautiful, which is the advantage of the internet. Some men have been telling their women that they are single until they fall in love with themselves, because at that time, uncooked rice has been ready, and some men are very good at it. Men are not bad, and women don't love them, so there is nothing they can do. At this time, the woman will say that if you fall in love with someone, you won't care if the other person is divorced. A wonderful self-deception and superb deception. So a male tourist once pointed out angrily, why did no one ever want to be my lover when I told the girl that I had a wife? But those men who obviously have wives never tell each other the fact that they are married, so they are very happy? Hidden rules in the field of emotion. Just a lot more than the hidden rules of officialdom. Don't talk nonsense When you think you have found a good man, you already know the reason for his divorce. Wait a minute. Do you think this reason won't happen to you again? This is a place that we kind women often deliberately ignore. I don't really care about his marriage history, but more about whether he can love me now and make me feel loved. Although he knew my family was against it, he said he would still stay with me to see if he could change my parents' attitude, so we continued to develop. (Comment: You don't care about his marriage history. Please tell me, if you are not intimate, do you still care if he tells you this marriage history? I may have broken many people's hearts by asking. More importantly, you want him to love you more. What you need is to feel loved. Being loved is the same as being sad when I type. What a bad feeling. What reason does he have to leave you at this time? When a person secretly loves another person, he often thinks too much about the other person. In the process of getting along with him, I found that he is actually quite masculine. He himself said that he likes "obedient" and gentle and virtuous women. I find that I don't seem to have these qualities that he likes. I can't do housework, and I think when two people get along, whoever says something makes sense will listen to him, not just the man's opinion. I had a fight with him about it. He doesn't like arguing with me either. What he thinks is right is right. (Comment: I know this time. Why is he still single at the age of 35? Every man is a male chauvinist at heart. Even a man who looks like a sissy is the same in his bones. Doing housework is not important. The problem is that he doesn't give you any chance to argue with him. That's your fault, because you have the wrong person. As far as I know, the reason why men are so arrogant is that someone buys it. Generally speaking, it is because he has external capital, such as successful career, wealth and status, but I can't see this young man. So it's your fault that you met him, because there are other girls who will treat him like a baby. Made in the era of leftover women. Nowadays, some 35-year-old single men have become China men's soccer players. They played so badly that they made a lot of money. Who can blame? Nobody goes to watch the ball. Can such a person get up? Therefore, I would rather spend 10 thousand yuan to watch Brazilian football than watch the national football. Watching the national football is disgusting. One night, after we had dinner with my classmate, he asked me to stay at his house. After thinking for a long time, I agreed, but on the condition that I would go to his house to buy some daily necessities, such as glasses care solution and makeup remover. We talked while driving along the way and mentioned Jiayuan. Once quarreled and got angry, I changed my state to asking for friends. He joked that I was having an affair. I was very unhappy, so I quarreled a few words. He said I didn't have an affair, but at least I thought so. I just made a mistake. I know I did something wrong, but I can't say it was an affair. I was angry and quarreled. (Comment: You gave your life so quickly and accepted his divorce history so quickly. People regard divorce as a secret thing, and tell you after intimacy, but you pass by, so what else do you have to negotiate? Therefore, a person who runs wild must have an indulgent person. This is a perfect match. So that some 35-year-old men meet divorced women and say, what are you worth dating? How much property do you have? You should know that he was married after all. This marriage history is very short, just like whether a woman is a virgin. Although it is only a movie, the meaning of life is completely different. You really have to be careful of those who want to control. Just like a man in front of a non-virgin, never show special attention to the hymen. You can think that he is allergic to your words because he values you, or that he may not tell you the truth, and the reason for divorce is not necessarily as simple as he said. ) Then we all stopped talking. I drove to a shop nearby, but there was nothing I wanted. Later, he said he would take me home, saying that everyone was unhappy. But it is early in the morning. My parents must have locked the door when they got home. Later, we returned to his apartment. After taking a shower, I slept alone in another room. He came to the room after taking a shower and took me back to his bedroom. We had sex. Everything is fine. When I got up the next morning, I mentioned the quarrel last night. He was a little angry and said that he had forgotten something and why he brought it up again, which made him unhappy. But I think, if there is any contradiction, we should always talk about it and think about what to do when we meet again later. (Comment: Is the end of the bed really noisy? That depends on who you are with. Don't forget, he is married, so you are more emotional and he is emotional. "Punish her for refusing to have sex when quarreling", I have always been skeptical about this statement. I only heard that women often use this trick, and this man also uses this trick? Really? Did you really hear me right? If he really punished his ex-wife with sex, then why did you have sex after the quarrel that day? This is not to say that it can't happen, but I always feel that some logic in it doesn't hold water. He gets angry and punishes others? Is it related to sex? It's strange to think about it. But if there is a conflict, we must make the intimate relationship clear, otherwise it will be really troublesome in the future. The second thing is that we meet two or three times a week. He will reveal intentionally or unintentionally that there are still one or two girls who have a good impression on him, and one of them sends him a text message every night, which I have seen several times. Once he was fined for driving, he asked me if I had a driver's license, and I said no. Later, he found the girl who had been texting him and asked her to deduct points for him. I smiled and said that the girl was so powerful that she knew what you were going to deduct. He said he took the initiative to tell her to see if she was willing to deduct points. Although I didn't say anything, I felt very uncomfortable. He used a girl who liked him to ask her for help. The point is that he asked for it. (Comment: As I said before, the 35-year-old single man, like a woman's 18 years old, is very popular with leftover women. Say something more extreme. Once, I worked as a psychologist at an offline dating activity of a dating website. I noticed a beautiful woman who has a good temperament. She has just come to Beijing and is eager for a sincere relationship. I said, her conditions should be very good. She drove an Audi to pick me up for dinner that day, and then she wanted me to introduce a reliable boy. Her request is not high, but she only asks the other person to love herself. I thought she was sincere, so I thought of a reliable boy I knew, who was almost 40 years old. He is really unmarried and doesn't earn much money. Being a good husband should be no problem. I just want to introduce this beautiful woman to him. On the other end of the phone, I heard that I introduced him. Of course, he is serious. The big beauty that comes out of my mouth must be a real beauty. I thought I could meet them soon, but he asked me a lot of questions on the phone, as if he were interrogating me. When he learned that the girl was divorced, he vetoed it and immediately changed his mind, saying that he was not available in the afternoon. I said, why are you going? He said, I'm sorry, a large group of unmarried young women are waiting for my interview in the afternoon, and many people introduce me to blind date. It's annoying. I can imagine his smug expression. From now on, I will never introduce it to anyone. The whole world has changed. Tell this story, just want to tell some leftover women, some leftover men, like Beijing's housing prices, have been speculating too high, too high. Now such men have learned the tricks of girls aged 65,438+08, deliberately provoking the jealousy of their lovers, in order to further raise their social status, like some lawyers, eating the plaintiff and eating the defendant. You fell in front of him, and thousands of girls rushed forward. It's like in engineering university, even the ugliest girls are chased by boys. I remembered what a small military leader told me. In the military camp, sows compete in the story of diusim. Although the writing is rough, it is worth savoring. Now you meet a man who obviously knows how to use women. This technology was once so familiar to some young girls. ) I asked him to meet recently, and he said he was too busy to work overtime. Let's meet next time. I asked him why on the Internet, and he said that the pressure at home made him get married quickly. He also wants to find a woman to get married immediately and be together every day. He also asked me if we could be his sister if there was no result in the future. I said, don't contact after breaking up. (Comment: "What if?" Do you really believe it is if? Emotionally, I found a small rule. As long as the other person says "if", you basically take this if as a fact. For example, if a man is going to cheat or has cheated, he will say, dear, what would you think if I cheated one day? Silly women will say, you won't? How could you? You love me so much. You said you only loved me. Tell the truth. If you have different views on your career, in terms of intimacy, it can better reflect a person's heart because it is said in a relaxed state. Although it cannot be said that 100% is reliable, at least 80% is close. More female visitors will say that my husband cheated, but I thought about it later and said hello to me long ago, but I didn't believe it or deliberately ignored it. Everyone believes what they see, but as far as feeling is concerned, what they see is not what they get. It is unnecessary to say that this gentleman is not sincere at all. After all, you can't see that he is an emotional liar, but you have to know, at the age of 35, what feelings have you never experienced? If you really go in the direction of marriage, then economic conditions are undoubtedly more important. He has many "sisters". What I can agree with is that you would rather not have such a brother. Because you are just one of his many sisters in 35 years. Online blind date gives more people the opportunity to be "brothers and sisters". What a harmonious society. ) I called him to meet him, and he said: His family already knows that my parents are against it, and now they are arranging a blind date for him. I asked him about his attitude, and his answer was I don't know. (Comment: You have disarmed and are not qualified to negotiate with him. You don't have a card. He/you can have an intimate opportunity at most when you are lonely. Do you want him to give you more love so that you can stand firmly on your side? Idiot, right? Don't forget that you are seven years apart. What does it mean to be 7 years old? It means that he has experienced many blind dates in spring, autumn and n times. Can you tell me the difference between yourself and many of his blind dates? In a word, he likes you very much, okay? Feel it, feel it, and finally be fooled by your own feelings. I'm disappointed in his inconsistent performance. But the next day, he would still call me to say hello. I'm confused now, too What's wrong? (Comment: People obviously want to develop a brother-sister relationship with you. If you don't agree, who is to blame? For those who can perform, you will see tears in front, and later he will scold those who watch the performance, stupid! When a person has many choices, each of us believes that as long as the choice is right, it will be ok. Everything is a choice, and everything depends on feelings, fate and constellations. Since everyone believes this, what's strange about the ending? Can you still imagine those sweet words? At the age of 35, how many people did he say similar things to? Just like Zhang Ailing, she studies love every day, and the love story is so thorough. What is the result? Accidentally fell in the arms of sadist Hu Lancheng? Compared with Zhang Ailing, most girls should feel happy. I've only been dating him for two months, and it's too early to get married. I don't think I know him well enough. I want to enjoy the feeling of being in love. (Comment: Politics decides everything. This is not the words of the Cultural Revolution. You don't look at the big blind date environment either. Everyone says they believe in the feeling of fate, and so do you. What a fun person. To tell the truth, those female lovers have been fooled by those more advanced male lovers, not to mention you? ! You want to know more about him? Then why did you sleep with him? This is your premise. There is a mistake. A female tourist once told me that a local celebrity was serious when dating. He took out his ID card, work permit, entrepreneur card and even NPC deputy card. It is so sincere that you have to believe that one of the prerequisites for his date is that he must try first. Happiness = sexual happiness. People are so old, we have to try this aspect. Besides, he's been married so many times, but he's not married. Doesn't that mean he's very cautious? Look, his reasons are too tempting. This truth is like a married man criticizing his daughter-in-law, and then all good women are willing to become mistresses. Such people are really good people's representatives. Experience is the mother of wisdom. But on closer inspection, this statement is like an animal. Why? Because he is too old, he is still floating. When can he float? How clean is free sex for such a man? And with a little skill, those women who are anxious to get married will take the bait and always feel that they have a chance. Fortunately, my female visitor listened to me and didn't become one of his more than N prisoners. This NPC deputy is still very strange. I have a good reason. Why don't you live with me? ! You said you didn't know him. I believe this. Do you have a modern appearance, but you still despise flash marriage in your bones? Is this a contradiction in itself? And the purpose of doing this is not to make the other party feel bad about you? The most terrible thing is that what you want is the feeling of love, but you should also think about it. The feeling of love you want is not necessarily rare. At least if he develops relationships with other girls, he won't be opposed by the girls' parents. I don't know how you discussed with him how to deal with parents' objections. Or do you want to go out for a walk? ) Should I still take the initiative to contact him? I can't feel that he really loves me because of his attitude towards me now? I don't know if I'm right. I don't think I have enough ability to love myself, so I want to ask the teacher how I can get along with the opposite sex and improve my charm. (Comment: Why are you looking for him? Tell him you love him very much? Tell him you have a package to solve your problem? What is true love? You gave him all the most precious things, so how can you keep him enthusiastic about you? Sex is not terrible. The key is whether you know him better before and after sex. Do you know how to understand a person? Besides his initiative to tell you little-known secrets, is there any other way to make you know him better? In terms of understanding secrets, the ability of men and women is too far apart, which is why it is suggested that older women on blind dates should go to bed carefully before marriage. How to get along with the opposite sex? This question is very big and difficult to answer. The first thing I want to ask you is, how many heterosexual contacts have you had? What do you know about the opposite sex? How much do you know about today's blind date market? Is loving someone just experiencing being "loved" by yourself? Do you love others only when you feel love? As some leftover women claim, it's not that I can't be spoiled, but that I haven't met the right person. How can I be spoiled? This sentence seems reasonable, but it is not, because this kind of leftover women regard coquetry as a completely devoted thing, but coquetry is a person's inner cultivation, and more women don't know how to coquetry in love, or in other words, more girls will coquetry only under the inspiration or temptation of men's strong love, so this kind of coquetry is as precious as gold. This statement puts himself in a completely passive state, so this man is either married or an emotional gangster. So many theories put forward by leftover women are always enlightening, but they never thought about the feasibility of operation? What they left behind is meaningful. Let's leave these people alone for a while. As a woman, no matter which man you get along with, in fact, the fundamental needs of men must be grasped. This is a woman's virtue. More women immediately stood up and refuted, why do we need virtuous people? Where are you men? We are all very independent. Is it easy for us to make money? We are finally financially independent, and you men are asking too much. Best decission is strict. But that sentence, where is the operability? What are the benefits except that some leftover women can find some reasons to stay? I remembered one of my visitors. She was married, but her long-term anger led her husband to divorce resolutely. Knowing that she loves him very much, she came to consult. I later found out that for so many years, it was actually my husband who cooked and everything at home was done by him. She naturally enjoys all this, and knowing how to cook is also one of the reasons why she chose this man. She can't even cook or sweep the floor. Ask her, she also plausibly, we usually don't get together at home, we eat out, and we have no money to buy it at home. She doesn't even know the minimum family warmth. She is still enjoying the elegance of girls and young women and the feeling of love. It was not until her husband filed for divorce that she suddenly realized. Your problem now is the same. You were with him. Have you thought about your marriage? On the one hand, you say you know too little about him, on the other hand, you still have a chance to meet him. How did you lead him to talk about marriage, let the children, house, car, daily necessities and so on? More importantly, how did you deal with his parents' opposition? Do you think it will be solved automatically over time? Have you thought about how to solve it? Have you thought about any solution? According to my rich consulting experience, I'm afraid you can go anywhere. At this point, which man likes this kind of woman? On the one hand, women are indeed economically independent, but they are often younger psychologically. Coupled with passivity, older women will certainly be defeated by younger girls, because at least young people can afford to play, and as men, they have less self-blame. ) I hope to get your reply! ! ! Confused Jenny