Overcome the fear of approaching strange girls

Many people ask the question "How to strike up a conversation with a strange girl",

I think it is more fundamental and essential The problem is: fear of striking up a conversation with a strange girl,

When we meet a strange girl, especially a beautiful strange girl, our hearts and bodies will have many subtle reactions,

( 1) We get excited, our steps slow down, our pupils dilate, beauty, beauty!

(2) We have the urge to strike up a conversation, want to get to know her, and look forward to some romantic stories;

(3) But in the end we often stop approaching, He took one more look, drooling, and then walked away.

Our thoughts at this time are,

(1) She is so beautiful, she must be married or have a boyfriend, and I will never have the chance to meet her; < /p>

(2) She is so beautiful, she will definitely not fall in love with me or be willing to get to know me;

(3) If I say I want to get to know her, she will reject me Yes, that would make me lose face;

(4) Her friend is next to her, and I go up to strike up a conversation. If I fail, she will be laughed at by her friend;

(5) My friend is right next to her. If I fail to strike up a conversation, my friends will laugh at me;

(6) There are so many people around her. If I try to strike up a conversation, the people around me will think it is strange. Treat me as a gangster;

(7) The environment here is so noisy that it is not suitable to talk to her. I will approach her again when she goes to a quiet place;

( 8) She seems to be busy now. I will wait until she is busy and then go there.

But no matter what thoughts we had, we stopped there and didn't move. Finally, the beauty left, or we walked over by ourselves, maybe looked back regretfully, and walked away!

The above ideas may seem reasonable on the surface, but in fact they are all excuses for your own fears.

We are afraid to go up and meet strange beauties!

We are afraid of being rejected by beautiful women!

We are afraid of the opinions and comments of friends or strangers around us!

Think carefully about whether these thoughts are an excuse to cover up your cowardice. Serious introspection and acknowledgment of one's shortcomings is the beginning of progress.

Some people may say that I am not afraid, but just a little concerned, and do not want beautiful women or people around me to treat me as a gangster.

But do you really want to go up there and act like a hooligan?

You just want to go up and get to know the beautiful woman! Like you just want to ask for directions! You don't have any bad intentions, you don't mean to hurt the beauty or anyone else!

I have thought about this fear for a long time and read many books to find the source of this fear. Because this fear doesn’t make much sense. I clearly know that there will be no bad consequences if the conversation fails. Even if the conversation fails,

(1) I will not lose a penny;

(2) I will not lose much time, just a few minutes;

(3) It is impossible for a beautiful woman to take off her high heels and hit me on the head;

(4) The people around me will not beat or arrest me;

(5) Even the beautiful woman’s boyfriend Even if my husband is nearby, he won’t rush up and take out a pair of scissors and cut off my penis.

In 99.9% of cases, all my losses are only

(1) One minute of face.

The only thing I lost was face, and this feeling of losing face didn’t have to last too long. I could escape from the scene without any risk or accident, and escape from the sight of everyone who saw it.

Am I so afraid of losing this little face?

Is there no way to overcome this fear?

Any kind of fear can be overcome through training, including the fear of death.

The simplest and most effective way is to strike up a conversation with 50 beauties directly.

Don't think too much about the skills, and don't care about the results of the conversation. Find a place with a lot of people and strike up a conversation with a beautiful woman. It doesn't matter if you chat a few words, flatter her or say you want to get to know her. It’s okay to code.

The first time, you will be extremely nervous, and may even feel as uncomfortable as death. You can set the goal a little lower, such as just saying how you are to her casually.

After doing it a few times, you will find that most beauties react very positively. They will usually smile at you and talk to you; those who ignore others are in the minority; those who can curse are hard to come across; those who want to hit are even harder to come across (don’t forget to tell me if you are so lucky and run into someone).

After training enough times, you will become more and more relaxed, and you can even start to joke with her, and when you leave, ask, "Can I get to know you? Tell me your number, yes." We can have a cold drink together if you have time."

At this point, you have succeeded!

Some experiences,

(1) Most of the beauties’ reactions are moderate or positive. The most negative reaction I've ever had was when the beauty didn't talk to me and quietly walked away.

(2) It is best to find a beautiful girl to strike up a conversation with, because the more beautiful the girl, the more positive her reaction will be to strangers. On the contrary, ordinary girls are more likely to be nervous and avoid strangers. This is because beauties have become accustomed to being harassed by strange men, and some girls even encounter strangers who talk to them every day. A girl from Chongqing who I lived with in Shenzhen would tell me about how strangers approached her when chatting.

(3) Even without any skills, it is possible to succeed in striking up a conversation. It's true that even a blind cat can hit a dead mouse!

(4) Don’t take what girls say about you to heart. In fact, don’t take what anyone says about you to heart. Even if this girl says "I don't want to get to know an old man like you." Don't take it to heart, don't feel sad, don't have other ideas. People who say these things don't really care about your happiness and happiness. They just talk and don't take any responsibility for you. You have to make your own decisions about your happiness.

(5) The most important thing when striking up a conversation is not your skills, but your mental state, and the image and temperament you project out of your inner state. Don't be afraid, timid, shy or hesitant, as if this is the most natural thing in the world. The more natural you act, the more natural the girl will act; if you act shy, the girl will feel weird meeting strangers.

(6) If the girl you are chatting with rejects you, it is her problem, not yours. If your attitude is very polite and friendly, but she walks away without saying a word, this is rude to her; if you sincerely want to get to know and interact with her, but she refuses, she has lost the opportunity to know a good friend. Opportunity; some girls reject you. In fact, they will regret it when they go home, regretting that they missed the opportunity to meet a boy because of their shyness.

(7) The girl you are chatting with probably also has her own "inner demons". You are afraid in your heart, and she may be afraid in her heart, especially those girls who are not very beautiful or have low self-esteem. Girls also have a lot of insecurities about themselves

(8) Picking up a conversation is a superb skill and also highly random. It is inevitable that there will be no results. Don’t regard it as a failure, let alone See it as your own failure. Just like chatting online, now strangers generally need to be verified before they can be added as friends. How many MM do you usually need to add before you can successfully add them once? My personal experience is that if you add 5 MM, it would be good to add one. At this time, we will not feel that the four girls in front of us have rejected us. We just continue to search for online friends without hesitation, and send our requests one after another, and we will always add a few more. The same is true when striking up a conversation. This girl ignores you or rejects you; you ignore her, move on, and strike up a conversation with the next beautiful woman.

Finally, again, the most direct and effective way to overcome the fear of approaching people is to force yourself to start doing it!

Talk about overcoming fear. Because to be honest, when it comes to pursuing girls, ten out of ten boys will feel a certain degree of anxiety. Many boys simply bump into each other when facing girls they like. They hold back when it's time to take action. When they finally "pluck up the courage," they are often either a step behind others, or they miss a good opportunity and should sit still.

According to my research, one of the main causes of fear is your mindset about the matter. The more you value something, the more you care about the results, the more "can't let go" you, and the resulting fear will increase. If what you think about all day long is "I must chase this girl", then you will be more nervous and more likely to fail. This is why I want you to have an "experimental" attitude. Before you catch it, everything is just an opportunity for you to increase your "experience points." Of course, in addition to adjusting your mentality, the accumulation of experience is the only way to build confidence. Public speaking is a good example. A speaker's confident performance on stage is often the result of repeated practice behind the scenes. [attach][/attach] The same goes for getting along with girls. If you are the kind of shy boy, you need to get out of your nest and boldly try to interact with girls more. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do what needs to be done, otherwise things won't progress. It doesn’t matter if you get rejected a few times, the point is, have you changed? Many people like to write in and ask questions related to "picking up". They say that there is a very cute female clerk in a convenience store around the corner. How should I get to know her? I didn't have the courage to ask for it, and I was worried that she might already have a boyfriend, so I could only frequent the convenience store, but nothing happened in the end. Of course, the matter of striking up a conversation itself is also a big question, but the prerequisite is that you must have the courage to act. Simply say "Classmate, may I get to know you?" Try it in a generous and sincere tone. I believe that at least half of the girls will continue chatting with you. The important thing is whether you dare to try it or not. In addition to your mentality and experience, there are actually many advanced fear overcoming techniques. One of the very interesting methods is

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Self-hypnosis, for example, close your eyes and imagine yourself becoming a 40-foot-tall man. Giant, you are the biggest wherever you go. Now, imagine a warm current of immense confidence flowing through your body. No matter how stressful the situation is in the future, you will be immune to any poison.

OK, you can open your eyes. Finally, think about what you learned today. In fact, I can tell you more about the theme of "fear", but I think I'll leave it to next time

Ten tips to overcome the fear of approaching people

(1) Be clear about your purpose in striking up a conversation and figure out what is stopping you from striking up a conversation.

Why did you strike up a conversation? To prove that you can break through? Go to bed to pick up a girl? Do you doubt your motives? Do you have a moral burden? Are you afraid of being successful in striking up a conversation?

What’s stopping you from taking action, fear? Fear of what? Afraid of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being laughed at?

(2) Stimulate your willingness to strike up a conversation to the point of "must".

Do you have to go and strike up a conversation? Is it definitely, or just a little thought?

Reconsider why you strike up a conversation? Is it because you can't find a girlfriend? Is it because there are few beautiful girls around you and few you like? Every time you walk on the street and see those beautiful figures floating by, you are Not everyone feels that their hearts are full of melancholy and regret for missing out, hating that they can't do anything, hating that they are not her classmates or colleagues.

Are you willing to continue to be lonely? Do you want to force yourself to make do with a girl you don't like? Do you want to suffer like this for the rest of your life?

Taste this pain seriously, treat it as your gall, lick it every day. Until you can't bear it anymore, shout out "I must go and strike up a conversation!"

Get rid of such weak expressions as "I will try..." and turn "I must...!" into an expression habit.

(3) Interrupt old neural associations.

What are old neural associations? It’s your wrong emotional pattern: you feel comfortable doing things you shouldn’t do, and you feel uncomfortable doing things you should do.

For example, if you strike up a conversation, you will feel uncomfortable, but if you don’t strike up a conversation, you will feel relaxed.

You have to break this old emotional pattern and change it into feeling happy when you strike up a conversation and miserable when you don't strike up a conversation.

How to do it?

Think back to a scene where you failed to strike up a conversation. The girl’s indifferent expression, the strange looks in the eyes of the people around you, and you standing there stupidly... Do these all make you painful?

First, play back these shots;

The second step, visual mixing. Just destroy these films in a funny way. For example, imagine that the girl rejected you, but as soon as you turned around, she knelt down and begged you: "Please hit me up again, and I will give you the code!" Use your imagination to rewrite these failed experiences. , processed into a funny scene. You can tell it to your friends and share it with your friends.

With this process, you can eliminate the painful feeling of failed conversation.

In addition, establish a punishment mechanism to punish yourself for avoiding conversations. Tie a rubber band on your arm. If you see a beautiful woman and you find an excuse not to act, just use the rubber band to break yourself and make yourself feel some pain.

(4) Establish new neural associations.

New neural associations are positive neural associations that help you succeed.

When you strike up a conversation, you feel happy, when you strike up a conversation, you feel powerful, and when you strike up a conversation, you feel that you are on your way to success!

(5) Strengthen neural associations.

The subconscious mind cannot tell whether something is true or false. As long as we continue to imagine, repeat, and believe, it will become a fact.

Here are several ways to help you strengthen positive neural associations:

First, achieve self-hypnosis by repeatedly studying various materials. Including watching the FR of successful people, watching the videos of successful PUA pick-ups, paying attention to the natural and confident attitude of the masters, and observing the happy expressions of girls after being approached.

Second, imagine. Imagine what life will be like after you become a pick-up expert? How many more beauties can you get to know at that time, what kind of girlfriends can you have, what kind of weekends will you have, what kind of sex life will you have, what changes will your life have, and what will happen to your friends? I am envious of your endless happiness, what kind of selection advantage do you have over ordinary people when choosing a wife...

Third, establish a positive anchor. What is a heart anchor? It is a certain physical feeling or movement and a certain spiritual feeling. During a volleyball game, players will clap and cheer each other before serving. The physical movement of clapping and high fighting spirit together, this is the anchor of the heart. Using a heart anchor method can help you quickly reach your peak state when striking up a conversation, such as giving a high five or raising your hands before every conversation. As soon as you do this action, you will feel confident inside.

(6) Test.

Imagine seeing a beautiful woman now, would you still be afraid?

If you still have fear, continue to repeat the above five steps to strengthen the effect.

As long as any behavior is reinforced repeatedly, it will eventually become a habit; as long as any behavior is not reinforced, the behavior will eventually disappear.

My personal experience is that as long as you chat up several targets in succession, both men and women can become very enthusiastic, and the following chats will be natural. Therefore, I recommend doing a warm-up before striking up a conversation.

As long as you don’t strike up a conversation for a while, your fear of approaching someone will rear its head again. A day without practicing hands will make a difference, and a day without singing will make a difference. So make picking up a conversation a habit.

Overcome the inferiority complex in the process of picking up girls

In the process of picking up girls, women from all walks of life may encounter them. Generally speaking, men are usually more confident when they meet a woman who is weaker than themselves, but once they meet a woman who is stronger than themselves, most men will develop an inferiority complex. Overcoming this inferiority complex is sometimes the key to success or failure.

There are generally two types of strengths and weaknesses, which may give men a sense of inferiority. One is that the other person has a better appearance, but there is a huge gap compared to him, including height. This can easily cause a man to have an inferiority complex and feel that the other person will not like him, leading to a lack of confidence in getting along with him and making him want to give up on his own initiative.

Another way is that the other person’s financial strength is stronger than your own, which is especially easy for boys to feel inferior.

Of course, what's even more frightening is that if your appearance and financial strength are much better than yours, then most men may not even be in the mood to continue dating, and will usually give up immediately.

Therefore, you must overcome this inferiority complex in the process of picking up girls. Even if you fail, you must persist until the end. After working hard, if you fail, then accept it calmly. If you fail without working hard, it would be a pity. You have to understand that since the other party is chatting with you and agreeing to meet you, it means that the other party is not necessarily interested in your financial strength or your appearance. It's possible that something about you impressed her, and she'll consider meeting you. Therefore, you should maintain your previous behavioral characteristics, express your true self, and not be affected by external factors, then you may have unexpected gains.

You have to understand that the charm of a man is first of all self-confidence. If a man loses his self-confidence in front of a woman, his charm will decrease sharply. Women generally don't like a man who has no opinion or self-confidence.

So, what if we can overcome this mentality? First of all, when encountering this kind of situation, you must remain calm and calm. Please remember not to pretend to be fat. Don't see that the other person's income is higher than yours and just make up some stories about how you are rich. You have to understand that it is easy to be seen pretending to be rich in front of rich people. Don't do such stupid things.

When you meet a girl whose appearance is too different from yours, don’t be shy about your own appearance during the conversation. Evaluate your appearance objectively and peacefully. Don’t just overestimate it. You can undermine yourself a little and make a joke. But you should be full of confidence when speaking. You can introduce your strengths or areas that can impress the other party as soon as possible. In areas you are familiar with, you should be full of absolute confidence. Men are most handsome when they are confident. You have to remember this.

If you meet a woman who is financially stronger than you, don’t be afraid to talk about this topic. If the other person talks about this topic, you should face it calmly, evaluate yourself objectively, and do not make any excuses for why your financial strength is not as good as the other person. You should frankly admit that you are not as good as the other person, and express your sincere admiration for the other person. , and at the same time, I must emphasize that I am not working hard, I am working very hard, and I am basically satisfied with my current income. Not everyone in this world has a high income. Of course, you can also explain that you will get better and better. This is appropriate. Don't brag too much. It's like he is number one in the world. You must evaluate yourself objectively and fairly, be confident, and show an image of hard work, dedication, and responsibility.

Of course, the topic can be appropriately directed to other aspects, into areas in which both parties are interested or in which you are relatively strong. During the conversation, treat the other person as an ordinary girl. Don't be afraid to act because of the other person's good conditions. Treat her the same way as in the advanced tutorial. Of course show respect for the other person. And you have to show that you are a man. No matter how good the other person's conditions are, she will always be a woman. In the relationship between men and women, men should be more proactive and control the situation, not the other way around. Otherwise, women won’t think highly of you.

If the other party has relatively strong financial strength, then when paying the bill, you can sincerely take the initiative to pay the bill, but if the other party insists, you do not need to be overly insistent. You just need to express your sincerity. Generally, girls with strong financial strength will take the initiative to pay the bill. Asking the other party to pay the bill is a way for you to show confidence. If you insist on paying the bill desperately, the other party will think that you have low self-esteem. But be careful, you must be sincere and naturally express the feeling that it is only you who pay the bill. Don't make fake moves. If the opponent fails to grab you, that's normal. Don't take it to heart.

If this kind of woman continues to date you, you don’t need to cater to the other person’s consumption level and go to high-end places. You can just say frankly that you can’t afford it and take the other person to a place that you can afford. . Remember, show your true side, don’t let the other person know that you are vain, just use your fat side to make people look fat.

Case 11:

A certain woman, 30 years old. When we started chatting, we didn’t find anything special about the other party. The other party didn't tell me about her financial situation. The first time we met, we made an appointment at a coffee shop in a high-end hotel. We met in the parking lot. I was driving a 2-box Fukang. The other party actually drove a red BMW. And the car was parked next to me.

I was really hit hard at that time and almost gave up.

I organized my thoughts, calmed down, and said calmly: Your car is so beautiful. My dream is to own a BMW. I like BMWs very much. Then I talked about my knowledge of cars by the way. I really prefer BMW cars, so I usually look at them a lot. I talked a lot about them, but many of them had never heard of them. I felt that the car didn’t look like hers, but more like it. Same as mine. Immediately reversed the inferiority complex at that time.

Then we went to the coffee shop to chat. During the chat, I learned that the other person’s family was very rich. However, this woman prefers people who are thoughtful and talented. I praised the other person's life appropriately, and at the same time expressed a certain degree of satisfaction with my own life. Everyone should be careful, when you praise others, don't say that you are dissatisfied with life, because that is another form of inferiority. Then I introduced the topic to other areas in which I am strong, constantly strengthening my talents and catering to my interests. Let the other party forget the gap in your economic strength.

When paying the bill, I took the initiative to pay the bill and acted very sincerely. Never take your wallet slowly or take the money slowly. That is very insincere. It is best to prepare the money in advance. For an estimate of the price, give it directly to the waiter. Let the other party handle the rest. As a result, the other party forcefully asked the waiter to take her money. At this time, don’t refuse, let alone talk nonsense about how you can be invited. What you should say is: Thank you for your hospitality, I will treat you next time. Be sincere. This way you send yourself an excuse for the next date. It also shows that you don't care about this material thing, and shows enough confidence to make the other party more satisfied with you.

In the parking lot, the other person said, "Do you want to try my car?" At this time, you should be generous and don't be overly exclusive. You should act like a buddy and say, "Okay." Accept the other party's invitation calmly. If you don't understand the operation, just ask the other party calmly. Don't pretend to understand. When driving, praise the other person appropriately, but don't appear to be overly flattering. There should be evidence for each compliment and don't talk nonsense. If you are dissatisfied, you should also raise your own questions. When answering the other party's explanation, you should think about it and then decide whether to accept it. Don't just accept what the other party says. You have to show your thinking ability.

I tried the other party’s car, and then made an objective evaluation and complimented the other party, and then the distance between the two parties suddenly became closer. Later, our dates were all about cars. Even the next time you date him, you can just say that you want to drive the other person's car as a reason. If you have many dates, you can also have some physical contact by asking the other person for advice or joking while driving. Be sure to overcome your inferiority complex and show your confident side.

Later, I got this girl. We stayed together for a long time, and I broke off with each other because I had a new goal.

Of course, remember, when you meet a girl like this, never talk about her money. This is not in line with the principle of picking up girls, and it can easily make people show their greedy side, which can easily lead to the other party's resentment. You have to know that since the other party has such a large financial resources, he is definitely not an ordinary person, unless you are as good-looking as Pan An. , the other party is willing, it is difficult for you not to let the other party notice that you have inappropriate thoughts. Picking up girls is simply picking up girls, it has nothing to do with other things, and don't take money and other things to heart.

In this case: overcoming inferiority complex is key. Although you may not succeed if you overcome your inferiority complex, but you will definitely fail if you are satisfied with your inferiority complex. Therefore, overcoming inferiority complex, facing everything calmly, showing enough self-confidence, calmly facing the other party's contempt, and showing one's strength can give the other party a good impression and lay a solid foundation for the final victory

Solution Difficult questions for newbies in love

Some people talk about some things in the space, such as college life and some small personal things. You can see the general thoughts and ideas of this woman, which is a great help for your chat, but In my opinion, the current online chatting and making friends is not as practical as going to the street to strike up a conversation, and it can train myself more. Due to my work reasons, I am lucky enough to join the otaku camp, but online chatting is also a little fun. I learned some little things. Compared with the previous thoughts, it is indeed a step up. Okay, without further ado, let’s start the text: 1. The personal mood of a girl from a certain university: Merry Christmas, and the class is having a social gathering again. Tonight is Christmas Eve. .

. No need to attend evening self-study. . . Ouye, will you go to eat hot pot? It’s a complicated question, otherwise you’ll get acne again. Why is the weather getting colder and colder? Let's slowly say "Merry Christmas + Two Funny People". This person is kind-hearted at heart and can be friends. After doing some things, he will think about the next step. He doesn't have any opinions, so he can start from The two funny guesses after happiness, of course you can start from this aspect, naturally the chance of success is higher, continue to the next sentence, the class will start socializing again, this sentence can clearly conclude that the class often engages in activities, this MM also I am more keen on this kind of activities, like groups, extroversion and introversion need to be verified in the future, at least I will not be restrained with people I know, because it is the same word, so I add red, it can be seen that this girl does not have many relationships, and will not exceed Three times, I still have the mentality of a little girl. Although I am a college student, I am still not experienced in the world. Hehe, you have to weigh the value by yourself. "Tonight is Christmas Eve...", these three sentences can tell that tonight's activities will be very happy, and I look forward to having good memories. I will draw inferences from one example. You are not stupid, so I won't explain it clearly. Time is limited, 8 After get off work at 0 o'clock, I will finish the next article when I go home... Okay, it is 10 o'clock now, and I have already gone home. I will continue to finish the next article, "Anthracene, a complicated problem, otherwise I will get acne again." It can be seen that this woman is not Lazy, at least by nature, is quite serious in doing things. It can be seen literally. Generally, if you use smart ABC, you have to go through these words several times. It is a bit narcissistic, and difficulties will be covered up by the happy mood at the moment. Derivatives The next possibility is that this woman is not backward in appearance. She is chasing fashion. You can think of it from her acne. "Ah" is used very well this time. Hey, modal particles. It can be seen that she is a woman with rich emotions. On the surface You can find out from the website that I had acne before, and I was very concerned about it, maybe because I wanted to show it to someone, so 50% of them judged that they had a boyfriend. "Why is the weather getting colder and colder?" This is relatively broad, and there are many routes. On the surface, it starts with clothing. , I can tell from my boyfriend that she is a little lonely at the moment, and it also reflects her mood before the class party, happy and looking forward to it and lonely. She hopes in her heart that this party can make her happy. From this, it can be concluded that she is a person who has a certain attitude toward her boyfriend. requirements. Summary: To pick up this girl, you can start with her literary talent. You can leave a message in the space with a good poem, carrying Christmas blessings, including a lonely heart and happiness between friends. This is the general meaning of the poem, (next time When I have time, I will write a song for you to read.) Then there is the reply: Thank you for not leaving ten. Then you can start the conversation about university. The topic can be from clothes to past events with friends. Anyway, if you can fool me, just Flirting... We have to give her what she needs, (that’s the importance of it, to save you from being confused, maybe take some shortcuts) and then +, after adding it, it is not what I want to say in this post (you can go See other posts) Of course, this is purely my own YY. Only by knowing yourself and your enemy can you be victorious.