Let's analyze your confusion together. Why do you fall into mental internal friction every day? You said that during the ten years from elementary school, junior high school to high school, others took the initiative to make friends with you and chat with you. However, you don't know how to make friends and who to make friends with.

This feeling is really bad. You used to have friends around you. An epidemic has completely broken your network, and all your friends have left you. Just like a crowded family, because of its decline, it has become cold in front of the door. Comparing the gap before and after, whoever you put it on will feel empty and lost, so your depression makes people feel the same. You have no family bankruptcy, but the impact of an epidemic makes you feel cold and warm. Are you wondering if you are not good enough, so your friend left you. Or think that your friends abandoned you because you didn't do well.

Our behavior is a copy of the mother-infant relationship in origin family, and love and security are projected from mother-infant relationship to interpersonal relationship, which is similar. You say that you are a flattering personality, and you are afraid of losing the love and attention of your caregivers. Therefore, you unconditionally obey the instructions and arrangements of the caregivers, and you are afraid that if you don't obey, you will lose your relationship with ta. You're used to this relationship. Because of your habit, you will consciously or unconsciously project this mode of getting along with yourself into the surrounding environment.

When you are depressed, instead of mental internal friction, it is better to discuss it from a psychological point of view, because you are a college student now and have the ability and motivation to grow. When friends are far away from you, do you pay attention to the maintenance of the relationship or the self-emotional reaction in the relationship?

At present, you tend to the latter, your self-emotional reaction in the relationship. So you don't know how to make friends. In fact, after an epidemic, the way of communication, work and study in our interpersonal relationship are different from before. We should treat this change scientifically and dialectically. We should allow this kind of change around us and then take the initiative to adapt, instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and being at a loss as you are now. You say, is that right?

I hope my other stones can help you out of the trough.